Raging sex drive...help!

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warpspeedpetey said:
where to begin
  1. G-d determines responsibility, not your confessor
  2. sin separates one from the Love and Mercy of G-d by definition
  3. guilt is not supposed to be pleasant, its an early warning system. something is going wrong, beep beep beep
  4. one cannot be damaged by the restraint of the sexual urge, but one can be damaged by its improper use.
  5. yes, you can 100% percent of the time, refrain from any inappropriate sexual activity, to suggest otherwise is unreasonable
  6. masturbation is not a natural act in any way, thats a myth.
    society just told us all it was harmless and not to feel bad, as an adult i know they were absolutely wrong.
  7. Yes, “if” one dies in mortal sin he does indeed suffer that complete separation from G-d, commonly known as hell. “if” is important here
the last two paragraphs are correct, and i admire your compassion, but there is never an excuse for knowingly sinning. a sin is a slap in the face to G-d. the fact that i myself am a very wicked man who has suffered with all we have discussed here lets me know from experience the true cost of sin. true compassion does not cuddle the sinner, and say thats ok, it calls out for repentance in a loving, accepting manner. compassion lights the path back to a full communion with G-d.
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This is the first time I have seen God spelt G-d. What is the reason?

???🤷
 
Cinette said:
This is the first time I have seen God spelt G-d. What is the reason?

???🤷
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🙂 i need to start a thread on this, 🙂

its a matter of respect for the Holy Name,

any reference to Him should be capitalized,

proper names and pronouns should not be, unless referring to a saint, or apostle,

i don’t have set rules yet, but the world is full of blasphemy, intentional and not, people casually utter His Name, as an oath, or a curse or in surprise. no matter the reason it is disrespectful to refer to Him in any but the most respectful way,

after all, we have all earned our death, yet he took it from us, each of us, if we search our hearts, will find that we are personally responsible for his torturous crucifixion. metaphorically the hammer was in my hands, i wove his Crown of Thorns with my very own fingers, i speared his side with my sins, and i cast lots for his robes.

how would you treat a man who gave his life rescuing you from a house fire?

how much more should you Love Him who gave his life for you, as you crucified Him?

this my personal revolt against the casual use of His Beautiful Name.

i don’t happen to be a Hebrew Catholic, someone told me they spell G-d the same way, i probably saw that somewhere and thats why i use a dash.

i hope it doesn’t offend anyone, if it does please forgive me.

🙂
 
warpspeedpetey said:
🙂 i need to start a thread on this, 🙂

its a matter of respect for the Holy Name,

any reference to Him should be capitalized,

proper names and pronouns should not be, unless referring to a saint, or apostle,

i don’t have set rules yet, but the world is full of blasphemy, intentional and not, people casually utter His Name, as an oath, or a curse or in surprise. no matter the reason it is disrespectful to refer to Him in any but the most respectful way,

after all, we have all earned our death, yet he took it from us, each of us, if we search our hearts, will find that we are personally responsible for his torturous crucifixion. metaphorically the hammer was in my hands, i wove his Crown of Thorns with my very own fingers, i speared his side with my sins, and i cast lots for his robes.

how would you treat a man who gave his life rescuing you from a house fire?

how much more should you Love Him who gave his life for you, as you crucified Him?

this my personal revolt against the casual use of His Beautiful Name.

i don’t happen to be a Hebrew Catholic, someone told me they spell G-d the same way, i probably saw that somewhere and thats why i use a dash.

i hope it doesn’t offend anyone, if it does please forgive me.

🙂
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No, it does not offend - it cannot offend. thank you for the explanation.

You are right so many people use His name in vain. I cringe every time I hear this.

🙂
 
to post #36:

WHAT? What is that supposed to mean??? That’s downright sick!:mad:
 
Between Elvisman and TLMO8, I feel like we’re having a Pharisee Recruitment Fair in here? Who can be the nastiest, condescending, opinionated absolutist possible? You should come into this room and read these posts! They’re nasty! Not charitable at all. An argument about who can quote the catechsim the best, lay down the law, make people feel guilty as heck, and toot their own horn because they’re following all the rules and making God happy sounds like those pesky Pharisees I’ve read about for years! There’s been some good advice in this room and a whole lot of nasty, personal, arrogant attacks. Have you noticed how some of these Pharisees have deviated from the original purpose of helping this young lady with a sexual problem toward trying to defend themselves as apologists for the Roman Catholic Church? It’s irritating. CAF has a tendency to drift like this all the time. It’s amazing how, for being so unified and “one,” Catholics in these threads seem to sound like they’re trying to out-do each other in holiness and obedience and defend arguments more than they try to help a young lady.

Pray for her, give her some good advice, and hold back on the “I’m following the Church, word for word, are you!?” retoric.
 
gurneyhalleck1 said:
Between Elvisman and TLMO8, I feel like we’re having a Pharisee Recruitment Fair in here? Who can be the nastiest, condescending, opinionated absolutist possible? You should come into this room and read these posts! They’re nasty! Not charitable at all. An argument about who can quote the catechsim the best, lay down the law, make people feel guilty as heck, and toot their own horn because they’re following all the rules and making God happy sounds like those pesky Pharisees I’ve read about for years! There’s been some good advice in this room and a whole lot of nasty, personal, arrogant attacks. Have you noticed how some of these Pharisees have deviated from the original purpose of helping this young lady with a sexual problem toward trying to defend themselves as apologists for the Roman Catholic Church? It’s irritating. CAF has a tendency to drift like this all the time. It’s amazing how, for being so unified and “one,” Catholics in these threads seem to sound like they’re trying to out-do each other in holiness and obedience and defend arguments more than they try to help a young lady.

Pray for her, give her some good advice, and hold back on the “I’m following the Church, word for word, are you!?” retoric.
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Trying to “out-do each other”? You missed the entire point of the conversation.

My position is simple:
**The OP needed some advice about a very real problem. What I objected to was bad advice from poorly catechized people. **Some of the advice offered has been right on - in fact, most of it has. Misrepresenting the Church’s position on true contrition may not be important to you but it is to me. I don’t pick and choose what I like about the Church even though you may.

Sorry you can’t handle the debate. Maybe CAF isn’t the place for somebody with your delicate sensibilities, but referring to people with differing opinions as “Pharisees” is simply childish - and ignorant.
 
elvisman said:
Sorry you can’t handle the debate. Maybe CAF isn’t the place for somebody with your delicate sensibilities, but referring to people with differing opinions as “Pharisees” is simply childish - and ignorant.
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Phew, gotta luv the colours there bud! Nice! J

GurneyHalleck1 wasn’t referring to differing opinions, since all the posters he was referring to all quote the CCC and they tell us all exactly how they are following all these rules. The people don’t have differing opinions, since they quote the same book, and tell us how they live to the letter of it’s law.
“Letter of the law of the Catechism”…sounds like a group of people that you may have read about?

I think he can handle the debate, he’s just strongly reminded of a group of people.

I don’t think that calling him Childish and ignorant is quite correct. Calling him concerned about the type of advice given to the OP, and calling him concerned on the way that Catholics are portraying themselves and their faith to someone enquiring, might be closer to home.
 
TotallyConfused said:
Phew, gotta luv the colours there bud! Nice! J

GurneyHalleck1 wasn’t referring to differing opinions, since all the posters he was referring to all quote the CCC and they tell us all exactly how they are following all these rules. The people don’t have differing opinions, since they quote the same book, and tell us how they live to the letter of it’s law.
“Letter of the law of the Catechism”…sounds like a group of people that you may have read about?

I think he can handle the debate, he’s just strongly reminded of a group of people.

I don’t think that calling him Childish and ignorant is quite correct. Calling him concerned about the type of advice given to the OP, and calling him concerned on the way that Catholics are portraying themselves and their faith to someone enquiring, might be closer to home.
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the point is moot, Rome has spoken on the subject.

one way is right, in accordance with the Church, all the other ways are wrong.

we may argue about who delivers the truth most ‘compasionately’ but the point is to deliver that truth.

further personal attacks distract from real debate about the issue at hand
 
TotallyConfused said:
Phew, gotta luv the colours there bud! Nice! J

GurneyHalleck1 wasn’t referring to differing opinions, since all the posters he was referring to all quote the CCC and they tell us all exactly how they are following all these rules. The people don’t have differing opinions, since they quote the same book, and tell us how they live to the letter of it’s law.
“Letter of the law of the Catechism”…sounds like a group of people that you may have read about?

I think he can handle the debate, he’s just strongly reminded of a group of people.

I don’t think that calling him Childish and ignorant is quite correct. Calling him concerned about the type of advice given to the OP, and calling him concerned on the way that Catholics are portraying themselves and their faith to someone enquiring, might be closer to home.
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Ignorant may have been misused but I think erroneous or mistaken may be more appropriate.

As I have stated ad nauseum - my problem isn’t with the OP. It’s also not with the “Letter of the law of the Catechism”. My issue is with giving people faulty, nay, erroneous advice that goes against Church teachings.

True contrition is not simply confessing one’s sins. It involves a resolution not to do it again with the help of God’s grace. One mustn’t look at grave sin as something that is okay - as long as you confess it to an army of priests who are “walking aroung ready to fling some forgiveness your way”. And as I have also stated ad nauseum, this is what is called the sin of presumption.
 
warpspeedpetey said:
the point is moot, Rome has spoken on the subject.

one way is right, in accordance with the Church, all the other ways are wrong.

we may argue about who delivers the truth most ‘compasionately’ but the point is to deliver that truth.

further personal attacks distract from real debate about the issue at hand
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Right again, my friend.
 
elvisman said:
Trying to "out-do each other"? You missed the entire point of the conversation.

My position is simple:
The OP needed some advice about a very real problem. What I objected to was bad advice from poorly catechized people. **Some of the advice offered has been right on - in fact, most **of it has. Misrepresenting the Church’s position on true contrition may not be important to you but it is to me. I don’t pick and choose what I like about the Church even though you may.

Sorry you can’t handle the debate. Maybe CAF isn’t the place for somebody with your delicate sensibilities, but referring to people with differing opinions as “Pharisees” is simply childish - and ignorant.
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You sure have a “my daddy can beat up your daddy” style of debate, Elvis! Not very nice behavior for a man named after the “King!” Be bop a lula that was not a very nice reply to my post! lol…By the way, nice use of color to confuse and bewilder the reader into not wanting to read the post at all! I know I felt that way. Anyway, thanks for pointing out my delicate sensibilities. I’ll be sure to go seek some therapy now that you’ve diagnosed me through an online forum. And my “childish” comment that you point out with regard to Pharisaic talk shows you missed the point. And I can more than handle the debate, Elvis. I’ve been putting up with stuff from guys like you for a while now. No worries. And I’d like to know how you can assess my character so well not knowing me saying that I “pick and choose” what I want to follow in Catholicism? Nice! Very charitable and Christ-like, friend.

When you post something like this you show condescention and the blatant bosting that you know it all, follow all the rules (and point fingers at folks like me thinking we DON’T) and are thus holy, and you get very agitated when someone disagrees with you.

You need to quit assessing people’s character and assume the best about your opponents. Disagree with my comments and/or opinions, but assume that I’m as good a Catholic as you, I love the Lord Jesus Christ as much as you, and I wish to honor and worship Him like you. Analyze that beam in your own eye before you rip on the splinters of others. I never pretended to be the perfect Catholic. I need Christ’s love and grace probably more than you do, but give everyone in these forums the benefit of the doubt. I give my protestant brothers and fellow Catholics that benefit. I hope you’ll do the same for me.

Peace
 
gurneyhalleck1 said:
Between Elvisman and TLMO8, I feel like we’re having a Pharisee Recruitment Fair in here? Who can be the nastiest, condescending, opinionated absolutist possible? You should come into this room and read these posts! They’re nasty! Not charitable at all. An argument about who can quote the catechsim the best, lay down the law, make people feel guilty as heck, and toot their own horn because they’re following all the rules and making God happy sounds like those pesky Pharisees I’ve read about for years! There’s been some good advice in this room and a whole lot of nasty, personal, arrogant attacks. Have you noticed how some of these Pharisees have deviated from the original purpose of helping this young lady with a sexual problem toward trying to defend themselves as apologists for the Roman Catholic Church? It’s irritating. CAF has a tendency to drift like this all the time. It’s amazing how, for being so unified and “one,” Catholics in these threads seem to sound like they’re trying to out-do each other in holiness and obedience and defend arguments more than they try to help a young lady.

Pray for her, give her some good advice, and hold back on the “I’m following the Church, word for word, are you!?” retoric.
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dude you kinda started it, at least on this thread,
i mean, i found this post offensive and it didn’t mention me.

so the people you named here might be reasonably upset with you calling them pharisees and all

so calm down dude, this is why its better to offer arguments than insults, but it will be ok man, we love you any way:thumbsup:
 
White_Tree said:
Let’s start with the basics.

A person cannot walk in opposite directions simultaneously. That means that if you want to conquer an addiction, you first need to put a stop to those actions that are strengthening that addiction.

You might say, “Well, I don’t really have an addiction,” but what you have just described to us is actually a type of psychological addiction.

I have witnessed many times in others and in myself that the experience of sexual sensations leads to an unnatural desire for those sensations to repeat and intensify.

Therefore, my first recommendation to you would be to stop masturbating. I know that seems hard and you’ll say, “Oh, but the masturbation is the only way to make the desire go away,” but I promise you that is a lie.

Think of the lust as a big wolf that comes to attack you. If you throw the wolf a slab of meat, certainly it will go away, for a time, but with that meat it will become stronger, and the next time it comes around, you will have an even bigger, stronger wolf attacking you. But if you don’t feed it (even though at first it will get angry and attack even more ferociously), eventually it will get weak and start to die.

Along those same lines, I would also try to cut off other activities you are engaging in that are feeding this lust: staring, fantasies, etc. I’m sure you can think of a few more. Remember that in the process of masturbation and engaging in impure thoughts, you are not copulating with your boyfriend. What you are doing is feeding an image. You are reinforcing a fantasy, an illusion. You are creating a structure in your mind, an image that may have the features of your boyfriend, but is not your boyfriend at all.

Furthermore, you are stimulating the pleasure centers of your brain associated with this illusion. This, as I was explaining before, creates the desire for this stimulation to be repeated and intensified - this phenomenon is not isolated to sex, but extends to all types of pleasure if we do not handle them properly.

As another analogy, think of what you are doing as running a wheelbarrow back and forth along a path. The first few times, the wheel seems to make no indentation in the grass. But as you continue to trace over the path, soon the wheel leaves its mark in the ground. This makes it easier to push it, since now a path for it has already been carved, but it also makes it harder for that wheelbarrow to exit the carved path. The deeper the impression, the harder it is to escape from it. Our minds are like this. As something gets repeated again and again and again, it becomes all the more deeply ingrained in our brains, and our minds are all the more likely to follow that path automatically, with hardly any impetus needed on our parts.

Basically, the most important thing you need to do at this point is to stop appeasing this sex drive - even though this seems to be exactly the opposite of what you will feel like you should be doing. But as I said in the beginning, you cannot walk in two opposite directions simultaneously. No counselor, no priest, and no God can help you conquer your sex drive if you are continuously investing your energy into strengthening it.

It will be hard at first, but as the wolf starts to get weak, it will get easier to fight.

Oh, and regarding impure thoughts, don’t try to repress them. Simply dis-invest yourself from them and they will subside. This is a delicate technique and can take practice, but is made more manageable with the help of prayer.

Count yourself lucky that you caught this beast early and are taking actions to fight against it. As we feed our lust, not only does it get stronger, but that lust also starts to mutate and take unnatural and grotesque forms. The evidence of this is easy to see just by observing the wide range of sexual fetishes, hideous fantasies, and abominable sexual practices that are prevalent in our world. Fight back now so that doesn’t happen to you.

Best wishes.
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White Tree, What great advise. I really appreciate thought out responses, especially ones that will work.
 
I’ve found that frequent confession and recieving the Holy Eucharist daily if possible can help overcome any addiction. The ammount of grace you recieve from recieving our Lord in Holy Communion is immeasurable. Also try this prayer…

Jesus, Lover of chastity, Mary, Mother most pure, and Joseph, chaste guardian of the Virgin, to you I come at this hour, begging you to plead with God for me. I earnestly wish to be pure in thought, word and deed in imitation of your own holy purity.

Obtain for me, then, a deep sense of modesty which will be reflected in my external conduct. Protect my eyes, the windows of my soul, from anything that might dim the luster of a heart that must mirror only Christlike purity.

And when the “Bread of Angels becomes the Bread of me” in my heart at Holy Communion, seal it forever against the suggestions of sinful pleasures.

Heart of Jesus, Fount of all purity, have mercy on us.

…I hope this will help. You will be in my prayers!
 
gurneyhalleck1 said:
You sure have a “my daddy can beat up your daddy” style of debate, Elvis! Not very nice behavior for a man named after the “King!” Be bop a lula that was not a very nice reply to my post! lol…By the way, nice use of color to confuse and bewilder the reader into not wanting to read the post at all! I know I felt that way. Anyway, thanks for pointing out my delicate sensibilities. I’ll be sure to go seek some therapy now that you’ve diagnosed me through an online forum. And my “childish” comment that you point out with regard to Pharisaic talk shows you missed the point. And I can more than handle the debate, Elvis. I’ve been putting up with stuff from guys like you for a while now. No worries. And I’d like to know how you can assess my character so well not knowing me saying that I “pick and choose” what I want to follow in Catholicism? Nice! Very charitable and Christ-like, friend.

When you post something like this you show condescention and the blatant bosting that you know it all, follow all the rules (and point fingers at folks like me thinking we DON’T) and are thus holy, and you get very agitated when someone disagrees with you.

You need to quit assessing people’s character and assume the best about your opponents. Disagree with my comments and/or opinions, but assume that I’m as good a Catholic as you, I love the Lord Jesus Christ as much as you, and I wish to honor and worship Him like you. Analyze that beam in your own eye before you rip on the splinters of others. I never pretended to be the perfect Catholic. I need Christ’s love and grace probably more than you do, but give everyone in these forums the benefit of the doubt. I give my protestant brothers and fellow Catholics that benefit. I hope you’ll do the same for me.

Peace
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Gee - I don’t know where to start.
I’m not assessing anybody’s character. I don’t even know where you got that from.

I was judging your comments, which I believe to be childish - I wasn’t judging you. I was deducing that the arguments against my assertion that telling the OP that sinning is just peachy because there is always confession - were coming from poorly catechized Catholics.

As for “analyzing the beam in my eye” - that scripture verse doesn’t apply in this case because, again, I’m not trying to judge anybody’s soul. I just don’t want anybody to tell this sincere OP who came here for real advice not to worry about her sins because priests are ready to fling out forgiveness to anybody who asks for it.
It’s beyond silly - and it’s wrong.
 
Emlif said:
I am an 19 year old girl and, have always been a very conservative catholic. I have a severe problem that I have been trying to fix for a few years. I have an abnormally, ridiculously high sex drive that I can’t seem to overcome no matter what I do. I have been with a young man for 2 years now, who is now my fiancee. We lost our virginity to eachother when we first started going out, which we dreadfully regret, and we made a commitment to purity ever since then. But for some reason within the last few months I want nothing more but to have sex with him again. Sometimes all I have to do is look at him and I am overwhelmed with sexual desire. I masturbate almost every day and am constantly filled with impure thoughts. Recently, I nearly seduced him because I wanted it so bad. I have tried everything to make it go away, because I know its so sinful. I have prayed novenas, begged the Blessed Mother for help, and talked to a priest about it. I don’t want to be in Purgatory for 10,000 years because what I do, and I don’t want him to think I’m becoming a slut. I even cry when I’m praying because I can’t stop thinking about sex. I don’t know what else to do, I know I need to stop, but I don’t know how. I love God, and I love my fiancee very much and am doing everything to keep myself from bringing him down with my impurities. Is there any possible way to calm my sexual urge?? We arent going to be married for three more years, so its a long commitment. Feel free to pray for me as well!!!
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Look, the first thing you need to realize is that there is nothing wrong or abnormal about you. It is perfectly normal to have a high sex drive. Human beings desire sex very strongly, it is part of human nature. There is also nothing wrong or abnormal with you wanting to have sex with your fiance. Why don’t you just get married sooner so you don’t have to worry about it? If you know you are going to get maried, why wait three years?
 
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