Raked Over the Coals in Confession

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I’m not sure if it’s a mortal sin per se, but anyone who smokes is clearly ignoring this article in the CCC:

2288 Life and physical health are precious gifts entrusted to us by God. We must take reasonable care of them, taking into account the needs of others and the common good.
Okay. Thanks for the CCC passage. I agree with what this says, but I too am an on and off again smoker. Usually the holiday times, ect. If a person is addicted to it, does that make a difference? Maybe I should inquire in moral theology?
 
Okay. Thanks for the CCC passage. I agree with what this says, but I too am an on and off again smoker. Usually the holiday times, ect. If a person is addicted to it, does that make a difference? Maybe I should inquire in moral theology?
Addiction (to any substance) certainly lowers a person’s culpability but it doesn’t totally wipe it out. I’d still confess it and hopefully you’ll hear something helpful to you along with being forgiven any culpability you do have.👍
 
Addiction (to any substance) certainly lowers a person’s culpability but it doesn’t totally wipe it out. I’d still confess it and hopefully you’ll hear something helpful to you along with being forgiven any culpability you do have.👍
I am going to save quitting for Lent.👍
 
Well, considering it (statistically) takes quite a number of times to accomplish quitting, wouldn’t starting now be a good thing?:doh2: 😃
I may not even have one until a holiday pops up. I did not even have an urge at Halloween.😉
Thanksgiving, will be harder.😊
 
This is scaring me from going to confession when I can finally go.😦 Just earlier on another thread, I said I was looking forward to it.:o
Stories about abusive priests hit my ears like stories of abusive mothers of toddlers. I know it happens, but it is utterly outside my experience.

It is good for penitents to know what is out of bounds, so they know they don’t have to take abuse, but abuses of that kind are rare. Please don’t let them frighten you.
 
I chased down the priest and had a long talk. It took a lot of courage for me, but I did it. I inferred from what he said that the reason for his impatience is these are the sins he might commit himself. I think that is where he was going with what he said. I guess we don’t like our own shortcomings any better when we see them in others.

Anyway, I feel much better now. In a weird way, its nice to know that someone else has the same shortcomings I do.:o
 
Hey Gal? Just a quick question though…what did you mean by…that he doesn’t care for those who are not monetarily blessed? What???
He tends to be overly effusive towards the people who have money. I guess its because they donate alot of money, and he wants to keep it that way.

He doesn’t seem to have much to say to people who don’t have money. He especially doesn’t like it if they ask for money or help.

I guess he worries about church finances. The economy has never been great where I live, and it isn’t getting any better.
 
God bless you! You’ve got somebody who loves you very loudly!

Peace,

Gail
 
I’d like to make a defense for the Priest(s). Please discern whether the Priest was truly abusive or whether you are being overly sensitive. There are many a people who take the slightest little criticism and think they are being persecuted to the point of martyrdom.

Keep in mind, Confession is indeed a time for healing - but that also includes at times admonishment and asking the penitent to do a little introspection. Think about it like this, if you go to the doctor and you refuse to tell the doctor not only what your symptoms but also why and how they appeared (even at the prodding of the doctor) how can you expect to get well. Also, you shouldn’t be upset if the doctor admonishes you for an unhealthy situation (you aren’t doing yourself any favors eating two pounds of bacon everyday!).

Pray for our Priests!
 
This is scaring me from going to confession when I can finally go.😦 Just earlier on another thread, I said I was looking forward to it.:o
I’ve probably been to confession somewhere around 200 times since I became Catholic (I converted in 2003). I’ve seen somewhere between 25 and 40 priests for confession (I lost count a long time ago), and I have never been yelled at, kicked out, or anything like that.
 
I too have born the brunt of a confessor who yelled at me and raked me over the coals, and it wasn’t even for a mortal sin. We cannot discount how much that affects a sensitive person. I stayed away from confession for 9 years after that incident. Thank God I finally found a wonderful priest who gently urged me to come back to confession and was gentle and kind. I hope you do not follow the path I took and can soon find a gentle and kind confessor
I can’t even begin to describe how lucky you all are who get “raked over the coals.” How I wish I could find a confessor who would challenge me and give me something difficult for penance. The church doesn’t need gentle and kind confessors. The American Church needs priests and confessors to tell it like it is and help us get right with God in the Sacrament of Confession.

Perhaps the OP was unduly verbally abused, that is not good.
But calling sin a sin in the confessional and being reminded of what sinful wretches we are when we turn our backs on God and His will for us is needed and should be done.

Why do we continue in sin? Confession is easy. Priests are afraid to be tough. Maybe gentle confessions help out the offering basket, I dunno.🤷

I want to feel as if I have repented and am a new creature in Christ when I walk out of the confessional. I want to pay for my sins now in Penance rather than later in Purgatory.
 
I’ll take kind and gentle for now. 🙂 Gently encouraging. Gently challenging. By the time I get to the confessional, I’ve got some idea of what a wretch I am. The priest is “preaching to the choir” by that point. When I came back to confession after an 8 year absence, if the priest had been “challenging” in the least, I probably would have run out of there and never come back. Fortunately, he reflected the face of Jesus and it was a life-changing experience. I don’t recall Jesus raking the sinners he healed over the coals. The lines at my parish aren’t that long for confession, so I doubt the kindness received there makes much of a dent in the collection.
 
I’ll take kind and gentle for now. 🙂 Gently encouraging. Gently challenging. By the time I get to the confessional, I’ve got some idea of what a wretch I am. The priest is “preaching to the choir” by that point. When I came back to confession after an 8 year absence, if the priest had been “challenging” in the least, I probably would have run out of there and never come back. Fortunately, he reflected the face of Jesus and it was a life-changing experience. I don’t recall Jesus raking the sinners he healed over the coals. The lines at my parish aren’t that long for confession, so I doubt the kindness received there makes much of a dent in the collection.
You have a very good point. Especially for someone who has been away from confession for awhile, having a forceful confessor can be a reason not to come back. I know my experience with an angry confessor kept me away from the sacrament for 9 years. A confessor can be challening and speak the truth without being “in your face” so to speak. I know my sins when I enter and the priest does not need to tell me that I have sinned greatlym, since I know it already if I have. I need to hear that God forgives me and to receive some advice on how to avoid that sin in the future. An penance isn’t about doing something hard or difficult, when it comes to confessional penance. Penance received at confession is supposed to help you to recognize the healing mercy of God. I have a great confessor now who is creative with his penances and he never gave me one that is particularly difficult, but almost each and every time, his penances help me to reflect upon God’s mercy and love. It is funny, but at the times when I needed to confess my most grevious sins, I have received the simplist penance, usually just one Our Father. My confessor’s reasoning was that I had already beat myself up with guilt over it and now was time to be thankful.
 
I’d like to make a defense for the Priest(s). Please discern whether the Priest was truly abusive or whether you are being overly sensitive. There are many a people who take the slightest little criticism and think they are being persecuted to the point of martyrdom.

Pray for our Priests!
I never said the priest was abusive. I said he rakes me over the coals. He tells me in an impatient voice that I’ve let down God and my family, etc. It’s more like a hellfire and brimstone lecture. I know that I’m a sinner and that I deserve this. :o It just made it difficult to go to confession. I don’t know if you read my last post, but after talking to him I don’t think it’s personally directed at me.
 
I never said the priest was abusive. I said he rakes me over the coals. He tells me in an impatient voice that I’ve let down God and my family, etc. It’s more like a hellfire and brimstone lecture. I know that I’m a sinner and that I deserve this. :o It just made it difficult to go to confession. I don’t know if you read my last post, but after talking to him I don’t think it’s personally directed at me.
That wasn’t necessarily directed at you individually, but at the numbers of posters here who made such comments, not only of your Priest but of other Priests and Priests in general.
 
I can’t even begin to describe how lucky you all are who get “raked over the coals.” How I wish I could find a confessor who would challenge me and give me something difficult for penance. The church doesn’t need gentle and kind confessors. The American Church needs priests and confessors to tell it like it is and help us get right with God in the Sacrament of Confession.

Perhaps the OP was unduly verbally abused, that is not good.
But calling sin a sin in the confessional and being reminded of what sinful wretches we are when we turn our backs on God and His will for us is needed and should be done.

Why do we continue in sin? Confession is easy. Priests are afraid to be tough. Maybe gentle confessions help out the offering basket, I dunno.🤷

I want to feel as if I have repented and am a new creature in Christ when I walk out of the confessional. I want to pay for my sins now in Penance rather than later in Purgatory.
There is a big difference between holding someone accountable (which is what you are describing) and being on the receiving end of a diatribe.

Perhaps there may be a situation that it may be neccesary but I would be willing to bet most priests that do this type of thing (being human and all) only try this approach on the penitents who seem meek. Or in this case maybe doesn’t have $omething that a pastor values.

I heard a priest say that priests should be lions in the pulpit and lambs in the confessional. Good guideline. There are enough people who avoid the confessional already. Ornery confessors won’t make the lines longer.
 
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