RCC kids visiting Lutheran church?

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To the OP

I have tried to make it clear that while I’m very concerned with the posters who urged you to make a decision like this unilaterally, my dire examples from family court have nothing to do with your situation or the question you posted originally. I do feel strongly that this is something you have to work out with your husband.

On a slightly separate note, you might find that the Lutheran Church isn’t as apostate as you imagine.
 
Thanks everybody. I feel more certain that the right thing to do is not to let my children go to the Lutheran church. I explained some differences and tried to explain the Reformation. It is already confusing to them that their dad isn’t Catholic. He absolutely agreed that they would be raised Catholic. Perhaps when their in their teens and have had a good dose of church history and a bit of theology, etc. My husband wasn’t raised in any particular denomination. He was a military kid so he occassionally went to what he describes as “generic protestant” services. He believes the RCC fails in teaching kids their religion so they would benefit from getting some generic Christianity taught elsewhere. He does take great offense at pointing out some doctrinal failings of Protestant churches. I assume that is just the way it is when someone is questioning and transitioning. Sometimes I feel I have to take control such as mandating Sunday Mass attendance no matter what, whcih he doesn’t understand.
 
A child will learn less heresy at a Lutheran VBS than in a Public School. You cannot hide the child from beliefs contrary to your own and hope they don’t accidentally hear them and get drawn in by the “fun” aspects of it someday. Controlled exposure and teaching goes much farther. This is even more so cause you have a Husband with a different belief system than yours. If you attempt to hide them from it, you will teach them to have no respect for their father or other people. I’m not surprised he is upset by your response.

THAT is why I said look up what they will be teaching… go with them and TALK to the child about it all. My six year old KNOWS her faith and WHY. She holds conversations with adults about faith in God. When she hears something that is contrary to what she has been taught she talks to me about it and asks questions, cause she knows I will answer them honestly and as completely as she needs.

As a Catholic parent your job is to raise your kids Catholic. Not to raise them to be hateful of others or to live in fear of others beliefs, learning what others believe is part of understanding your own faith. You are talking about visiting there not having them become members or something. (And yes, comparing Lutherans to crack houses and porn is offensive, analogy or not.) Protestants may be wrong about some things, but we are your brothers and sisters in Christ.
 
AliciaCL said:
Thanks everybody. I feel more certain that the right thing to do is not to let my children go to the Lutheran church. I explained some differences and tried to explain the Reformation. It is already confusing to them that their dad isn’t Catholic. He absolutely agreed that they would be raised Catholic. Perhaps when their in their teens and have had a good dose of church history and a bit of theology, etc. My husband wasn’t raised in any particular denomination. He was a military kid so he occassionally went to what he describes as “generic protestant” services. He believes the RCC fails in teaching kids their religion so they would benefit from getting some generic Christianity taught elsewhere. He does take great offense at pointing out some doctrinal failings of Protestant churches. I assume that is just the way it is when someone is questioning and transitioning. Sometimes I feel I have to take control such as mandating Sunday Mass attendance no matter what, whcih he doesn’t understand.
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Wow the reformation is a big topic for an 8 yo! No wonder it was confusing! Yes teenage is good for Church history etc. At 8… teach the children’s catechism (Im sure there is a Catholic one), and address issues as they appear. like My daughter covered in VBS " I can learn about Jesus in God’s Word, the Bible" That is an opportunity for you to tell them other ways they can learn about God too, like Tradition. Another example was when my Daughters science book said that “No one knows who the first people were.” We had a long talk about how not all people believe the Bible it True, and why I DO believe it is true. Age appropriateness is good.
 
AliciaCL said:
My children were invited to “try out” a visit to a Lutheran church. They are 8 and just had First Holy Communion. I told them no, it could be confusing and other churches don’t believe that Jesus is in Holy communion. My non-Catholic spouse strongly disagrees and thinks it’s a missed opportunity for the kids to learn more about Jesus since the RCC does a poor job of teaching. It was a tense conversation. He does not understand how poorly uncatechised people are drawn into other churches. I think kids are vunerable because the other churches are fun. My husband also denies that Protestantism is at its roots anti-Catholic, that anti-Catholic sentiments are taught. He takes great umbridge at the suggestion that Protestants are anti-Catholic yet he concedes none of them accept the Real Presence — an he himself is considering RICA. Sometimes it’s baffling and I wanted a pulse check from others. Am I right to say no to the kids for visiting the Lutheran church for services or summer Bible school?
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You’re right because you’re their parent. VBS I would definately question. But I visited Methodist, Jewish, and Presbyterian services at that age, and Lutheran, Baptist, and Episcopalian services in my teens. I grew closer to my friends through sharing about our faiths. I never participated in Communion t other churches, always invited the friend to come to Mass with me as well, and my parents debriefed me after. I’d say they were all positive experiences.
 
You stated that your husband vehemently denies that there is any anti-Catholic sentiment among Protestants. I’m not saying that all Protestants are anti-Catholic, but the origin of Protestantism is undoubtedly anti-Catholic.
Perhaps you should ask him why they call themselves PROTESTants. If they are not protesting against the Catholic Church, then against whom are they protesting?
 
MagicKirk said:
You stated that your husband vehemently denies that there is any anti-Catholic sentiment among Protestants. I’m not saying that all Protestants are anti-Catholic, but the origin of Protestantism is undoubtedly anti-Catholic.
Perhaps you should ask him why they call themselves PROTESTants. If they are not protesting against the Catholic Church, then against whom are they protesting?
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Give it a rest. I’m not here to protest anything. I’m here to love the Lord, and in my own, inadequate way, serve the Lord.

The name Protestant is 500 years old. It has lost its original meaning. Few Protestants (and few Catholics) off the street could intelligently discuss the reformation. It has become ancient history.

Our theological differences may not be insignificant (although I think they’re less important than many others on this board do), but the history of our relationship is no longer of real significance to most Protestants.
 
Madaglan said:
All right. I’ll take your words.

Does your church offer contemporary as well as traditional services?

I notice that many mainline Protestant churches now offer two different services on Sunday for different tastes. I’ve seen a few LCMS churches who seem to be following suit.
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Madaglan,

The church I serve has only a traditional service.
 
My children were invited to “try out” a visit to a Lutheran church. They are 8 and just had First Holy Communion. I told them no, it could be confusing and other churches don’t believe that Jesus is in Holy communion.

Actually, Lutherans DO believe this.
 
Syele said:
A child will learn less heresy at a Lutheran VBS than in a Public School… (And yes, comparing Lutherans to crack houses and porn is offensive, analogy or not.) Protestants may be wrong about some things, but we are your brothers and sisters in Christ.
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So why not teach your child their beleifs and what the fallacies are? Attending their service harms the lutherans since you will be validating their service.

btw drug addicts and pornographers are our brothers and sisters in Christ too; they have just strayed more than others or do not know about Christ.
 
AliciaCL said:
My children were invited to “try out” a visit to a Lutheran church. They are 8 and just had First Holy Communion. I told them no, it could be confusing and other churches don’t believe that Jesus is in Holy communion. My non-Catholic spouse strongly disagrees and thinks it’s a missed opportunity for the kids to learn more about Jesus since the RCC does a poor job of teaching. It was a tense conversation. He does not understand how poorly uncatechised people are drawn into other churches. I think kids are vunerable because the other churches are fun. My husband also denies that Protestantism is at its roots anti-Catholic, that anti-Catholic sentiments are taught. He takes great umbridge at the suggestion that Protestants are anti-Catholic yet he concedes none of them accept the Real Presence — an he himself is considering RICA. Sometimes it’s baffling and I wanted a pulse check from others. Am I right to say no to the kids for visiting the Lutheran church for services or summer Bible school?
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If you wish to say no to them it is your right to parent the way you see fit, but I do vehemately disagree with what you said to your husband. I am Anglican and wholly believe in the real presence. I am Protestant but I am pro God in my faith far and beyond anything else. He has blessed me richly and sustained me when nothing else could. Jesus Christ is my Savior and my Lord and I am his forever and ever. Jesus Christ is my crystal fountain of faith and I will praise him forever. Does any of that sound anti-Catholic to you?
 
thedavidwilson said:
So why not teach your child their beleifs and what the fallacies are? Attending their service harms the lutherans since you will be validating their service.
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The OP had a husband that is not Catholic. He is the children’s parent as well as the Catholic one. While an agreement to raise children Catholic would have been made in that situation, allowing the children to see where their father worships, and teaching about the differences shows respect to their father and yet does not stop them from being brought up Catholic.
btw drug addicts and pornographers are our brothers and sisters in Christ too; they have just strayed more than others or do not know about Christ.
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Sorry, I don’t really believe that most pornographers and Drug addicts are Christians and certainly not practicing ones, and that is what I meant by my comment. It is one thing to allow your children to visit with a group of people who are striving to follow God in all they do, though differently than you and quite another to send them off to a crack house to hang out. I bet CPS would agree with me too. The analogy made was offensive to me. What if I posted a thread that asserted that allowing a Child to go to Mass was equal to sending them to a crack house? You KNOW Id be reported as anti-Catholic and offensive. Don’t go pretending it was a charitable thing to say.
 
To the OP- a reminder…

Matthew 23:27-28 DRB

27 Woe to you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites; because you are like to whited sepulchres, which outwardly appear to men beautiful, but within are full of dead men’s bones, and of all filthiness.
28 So you also outwardly indeed appear to men just; but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.

True Catholic doctrines and teachings matter, especially on faith and morals. We are supposed to be patient in teaching our children. That’s how I remember I was brought up by my parents (who both didn’t finish high school). That’s how I remember them especially now that they’re gone…
 
Hmmmmmmm…mom, if dad thinks the Church isn’t doing a good job of teaching the children, perhaps it is time to buy dad some books for teaching the children. I thought it was the parents primary responsibility to raise children in the faith anyway.

As for me, as a mom, I wouldn’t under any circumstances let my children participate in a Lutheran class of any kind. But that is me. Perhaps this isn’t meant to draw your children away, but until you are sure that your children are properly formed in the faith, why risk their becoming confused.

Buy dad some books and teach your children well. Then there won’t be any need to go elsewhere to learn the faith. And remember what Father Peyton used to say: “the family that prays together, stays together!” Start an evening Rosary with the kids and dad. What have you got to loose? (ooooooo, actually I shudder to think of that…)

I’ll pray for you guys.

Peace,

Gail
 
thirdn6 said:
To the OP- a reminder…

Matthew 23:27-28 DRB

27 Woe to you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites; because you are like to whited sepulchres, which outwardly appear to men beautiful, but within are full of dead men’s bones, and of all filthiness.
28 So you also outwardly indeed appear to men just; but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.

True Catholic doctrines and teachings matter, especially on faith and morals. We are supposed to be patient in teaching our children. That’s how I remember I was brought up by my parents (who both didn’t finish high school). That’s how I remember them especially now that they’re gone…
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I suppose that sounds right.
 
wmscott said:
I am with you! saying “No” is just fine. You are the parent and at their age, they do not need the confusion of opposing religions. Until they are old enough to know that there are those out there that are at odds with the Catholic faith and that there are vastly differing views, they need your guidance and protection until they can fend for themselves. 🙂
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True, but the father is the parent too! It is not like it was a neighbor who said it was a good idea. Even though he is not Catholic, the father should have some say in how his children are raised. Mixed marriages will almost always have something like this come up and both spouses need to at least respect the other’s point of view, even if they do not agree with them. If the children are old enough for communion, then the parents should be having a family conference about this.

Annie
 
khutcheson said:
OP is NOT THE parent!!!

She is ONE of the parents. You just told her to ignore her husband’s wishes. Only the Catholic parent’s wishes count? I must have missed that class in law school.

I’m a divorce lawyer. People (not the OP), but people in general who think that their “rights” or opinions count and their spouses opinions don’t count tend to need the services of people like me. Honestly, the quoted response angers me. I see people like this (not the OP, but people who think that THEY are THE parent) in court all the time in some of the ugliest custody disputes you can imagine. Most children have two parents. Ignoring the wishes/feelings/desires of the other parent is a great way to meet new people (like lawyers, judges, therapists, police officers, process servers, mediators, special masters etc.)

This is BAD advice. OP needs to work this out with her husband. While you might think her wishes and reasoning valid (and indeed I think they are, HIS wishes and reasoning are simlilarly valid). The price of a marriage between a Catholic and a Protestant is that issues like this will arise and your assumption that her Catholic faith trumps his faith is flawed.
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Great advice:thumbsup:
Annie
 
GailMac said:
As for me, as a mom, I wouldn’t under any circumstances let my children participate in a Lutheran class of any kind.
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And when Protestants say similar things about not wanting to have their children involved with Catholics, you call that uncharitable. Check out Matthew 23:27.
 
I think a similar question was asked on EWTN recently and the answer that came back was that it might be better to wait a little until the children are old enough to understand the differences on a theological level. I’m assuming that the question asked then was from a couple who both were Catholics.

I guess this is just another question that comes up with being a parent. You could make a case, like your husband does, that this could be a good thing.

If your husband thinks that the Catholic Church does not do a good job in passing on the faith then that sounds like the issue that needs to be addressed.

Perhaps a do-it-yourself approach or researching an appropriate Catholic group could help solve the problem.

Perhaps letting the child attend the Lutheran church while also sitting in at RICA with the father might also be a good balance. 👍
Not sure what level the RICA is aimed at ?

Anyway, who knows ? God bless your family.
 
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