RCIA before Vatican II

[FrDavid96]

I appriciate all of your help, but he would NEVER make that exception. It is a large parish and fairly modern. Basically if it’s not done with “the community” then it’s not done. We are trying to find another parish, but they are all pretty much the same where we live. There is a parish in town that offers a weekly Latin Mass which I want to start going to, but I thought that would be more difficult for him to ease into.

I understand where you are coming from, but I have been burned before (long story–homeschool vs. catechism classes). Sometimes when you ask for “special privlages” you don’t just get told no, you start a new rule and ruin it for everyone (not to mention get some people in trouble)

I often offer my sufferings up for his conversion. I regularly offer rosaries and during the Consecration I pray for his conversion. I know it will happen some day.

I avoided posting this because I didn’t want to be responsible if you simply bypassed your pastor and went straight to your friend. Here it is. As long as the priest is a pastor, he can receive your husband into the Church, as long as it happens within his own parish territory, and as long as the local bishop permits this (most do). There is a “short form” for the RCIA program, and the pastor has wide discrretion in not using any individual parts of it, short or long. Your family connection to this other parish also reinforced my decision to post that info (and besides, anyone else might have posted it–it’s public knowlege).

 

[marci]

I avoided posting this because I didn’t want to be responsible if you simply bypassed your pastor and went straight to your friend. Here it is. As long as the priest is a pastor, he can receive your husband into the Church, as long as it happens within his own parish territory, and as long as the local bishop permits this (most do). There is a “short form” for the RCIA program, and the pastor has wide discrretion in not using any individual parts of it, short or long. Your family connection to this other parish also reinforced my decision to post that info (and besides, anyone else might have posted it–it’s public knowlege).

Thank you. I don’t want anyone to think that I’m somehow trying to “cheat” or bypass the learning process. The studying part is not the issue, it’s the public part that causes the anxiety. I’m sure that for some the process of community recognition during RCIA is a joyful part of their experience, but there are those who are simply more private about their beliefs, faith, etc.

The thing is I have been hoping for his willingness for 14 years. We have had rocky times over the fact that we come from different faiths. For years he was down right resentful about the church, although he has always been supportive of raising our kids in the church. He has finally started coming around these last few years. He has started coming to mass with us regularly and a few months ago he mentioned “looking into becoming catholic, but I don’t want to have to do anything in front of everyone”.

Again, I’m not knocking RCIA, I just want for this to be a possitive thing for him instead of a source of anxiety.

 

[jmcrae]

Thank you. I don’t want anyone to think that I’m somehow trying to “cheat” or bypass the learning process. The studying part is not the issue, it’s the public part that causes the anxiety. I’m sure that for some the process of community recognition during RCIA is a joyful part of their experience, but there are those who are simply more private about their beliefs, faith, etc.

The thing is I have been hoping for his willingness for 14 years. We have had rocky times over the fact that we come from different faiths. For years he was down right resentful about the church, although he has always been supportive of raising our kids in the church. He has finally started coming around these last few years. He has started coming to mass with us regularly and a few months ago he mentioned “looking into becoming catholic, but I don’t want to have to do anything in front of everyone”.

Again, I’m not knocking RCIA, I just want for this to be a possitive thing for him instead of a source of anxiety.

When they go before the congregation, it’s not for “showing off” but rather, so that the congregation can pray for them, and can be renewed and reconverted, as well. By not participating in the very few public aspects of the RCIA (there are three times - the Rite of Acceptance, the Rite of Election, when he goes before the Bishop, and the Sacraments of Initiation) he isn’t depriving himself of anything, but he would be depriving those whose hearts could have been touched and brought closer to Jesus by seeing a man and a father who wants to convert to the Catholic faith.

I can understand being shy - I am very shy, too. But sometimes we need to put aside our fears, for the greater glory of God.

 

[marci]

When they go before the congregation, it’s not for “showing off” but rather, so that the congregation can pray for them, and can be renewed and reconverted, as well. By not participating in the very few public aspects of the RCIA (there are three times - the Rite of Acceptance, the Rite of Election, when he goes before the Bishop, and the Sacraments of Initiation) he isn’t depriving himself of anything, but he would be depriving those whose hearts could have been touched and brought closer to Jesus by seeing a man and a father who wants to convert to the Catholic faith.

I can understand being shy - I am very shy, too. But sometimes we need to put aside our fears, for the greater glory of God.

I agree and perhaps as he matures in his faith he will come to feel this way as well. But I have to also say that I am of the opinion that our reception of the sacraments are not made more valid because the whole congregation is witnessing. Obviously the days of private baptisms and initiation are over. We have lots of people and few priests so the church must do what it can to accomadate a large number of people with few resources. I just feel like as long as a person has studied, has a sincere heart, knows and understands the sacraments, the Real Pressence, the Imaculate Conception, etc., then that should probably be enough.

 

[jmcrae]

I agree and perhaps as he matures in his faith he will come to feel this way as well. But I have to also say that I am of the opinion that our reception of the sacraments are not made more valid because the whole congregation is witnessing.

Not “more valid”, no. Of course not. But there is grace to be had - much grace. For example, are you aware that if you attend someone’s First Holy Communion, you can receive a Plenary Indulgence? Think of how many more souls will be released from Purgatory, simply by adding your husband to the number of those receiving First Holy Communion at the Easter Vigil, rather than at a private celebration for only family and friends.

 

[dnar]

I have been baptized since the age of 14, in a Southern Baptist church, which the Catholic Church considers a valid baptism.

I have been in RCIA now since September. I have met with two different priests and tried to use different methods of joining, but neither would consider it.

RCIA for all. The entire process.

 

[FrDavid96]

I have been baptized since the age of 14, in a Southern Baptist church, which the Catholic Church considers a valid baptism.

I have been in RCIA now since September. I have met with two different priests and tried to use different methods of joining, but neither would consider it.

RCIA for all. The entire process.

The local pastor has some options to “shorten” the process. But saying that he has the options is not the same as saying that he must use them.

 

[StillWondering]

I agree and perhaps as he matures in his faith he will come to feel this way as well. But I have to also say that I am of the opinion that our reception of the sacraments are not made more valid because the whole congregation is witnessing. Obviously the days of private baptisms and initiation are over. We have lots of people and few priests so the church must do what it can to accomadate a large number of people with few resources. I just feel like as long as a person has studied, has a sincere heart, knows and understands the sacraments, the Real Pressence, the Imaculate Conception, etc., then that should probably be enough.

I am in agreement with you Marci. I know people with unnatural fears of community or others knowing about their personal actions. Weather your husband is a person with currently insurmountable fear or not, you and he would know best.

As for being a witness, some are called to public witness, some are called to quiet witness. Both can be beautiful and inspiring.

 

[jmcrae]

RCIA for all. The entire process.

From Baptist to Catholic is actually quite a long distance. I don’t think I would want to shorten the process for a Baptist. In my own case, going from United Church of Canada to Catholic, it took 17 years. It took me five years just to get my head around the concept of Mary, and to be able to pray the Rosary without feeling uncomfortable.

 

[twopekinguys]

I’m going to throw my two cents in here for what it’s worth.

I went through RCIA 15 years ago, and was in a similar situation to the OP’s husband. I don’t like being in front of people. My biggest fear is walking in front of a crowd and tripping/falling.

When I signed up for RCIA, I specifically asked if we had to get up in front of people to do anything, and was told “Oh No!!, Nothing like that at all!!” Imagine my horror when it came time for the Rite of Acceptance.

Long story short, I went through all of the Rites, and Scrutinies, and wouldn’t trade that experience for anything in the world.

I have been involved in RCIA ever since, and am now the Lay Director for our parish, and Father always says “Don’t trip!” when I have to get up in front of the congregation for anything. (It still terrifies me.) Gotta love him.

There is another aspect of your husband not going through regular RCIA that hasn’t been mentioned, which I think may come into play here.

For many men, it is very difficult to share their deep personal feelings and knowledge when it comes to faith. A man can be a very faith filled individual, but may feel it is a sign of weakness when it comes to sharing it with others. Alot of men have an easier time talking football and hockey over faith. The RCIA experience can help change that. I have seen it happen many times.

We do have individuals who go through private instruction with a catechist other than a priest when their schedules do not allow regular class attendance. We strongly encourage participation in the Rites if their schedule allows, but all in all, our priests are not big on private instruction for most individuals.

I strongly encourage your husband to go through RCIA. Most people get alot more out if it than just religous instruction. It would be a shame to miss out on it.

I might also add, that in our diocese, for an individual to receive instruction outside of his/her home parish, it requires the approval of the pastor of the home parish. I am not sure if that applies to all diocese or not.

 

[dnar]

From Baptist to Catholic is actually quite a long distance. I don’t think I would want to shorten the process for a Baptist. In my own case, going from United Church of Canada to Catholic, it took 17 years. It took me five years just to get my head around the concept of Mary, and to be able to pray the Rosary without feeling uncomfortable.

Well it is definitely not something I did over night. I have studied Catholicism for quite along time and I even engage in Catholic apologetics often. I thought since I had the knowledge of the beliefs and was able to defend them that my process could have been shortened, but head knowledge is not what its all about I have learned. I am enjoying my time in RCIA…I am getting to meet people and make new friends.

 

[jmcrae]

Well it is definitely not something I did over night. I have studied Catholicism for quite along time and I even engage in Catholic apologetics often. I thought since I had the knowledge of the beliefs and was able to defend them that my process could have been shortened, but head knowledge is not what its all about I have learned.

Head knowledge certainly has a place, but you are right; there is a great deal more to being a Catholic than that.

Living the lifestyle is the most important thing - which takes head-knowledge, but it also takes community-building, and service, and a lot of changes in personal habits. I am definitely not the same person I was before I became Catholic.

I am enjoying my time in RCIA…I am getting to meet people and make new friends.

Great!