Verita,
I was baptized and raised Protestant and had a strong religious background. I began going to Mass with my brothers wife’s family about 10 years ago, and after much soul searching and studying decided that the Catholic Church was like coming home.
I also resisted the notion of attending RCIA and hoped that I could just be confirmed, have my first Confession and my first Communion. No such luck. However, it wound up being such a blessing. Over the course of the 9 months of RCIA we discussed a lot of doctrine, I learned a lot about some of the rites I thought I understood, but didn’t fully understand the history behind, and I could go on and on. We spent a lot of time sharing our stories, what brought us to the church, and would break up into smaller discussion groups of 8-10 before the end of class to reflect on what we were each taking away from the class that week.
Not only did I luck out with our RCIA team and instructors, but what I haven’t heard yet mentioned was becoming part of the Catholic community and family. During the course of RCIA we got to know our fellow soon-to-be-converts (and we had a class of approximately 40 at our parish) and now when we see each other at Mass, its like seeing an old friend and we congregate afterwards and still support each other through our journeys.
As far as your Deacon goes, perhaps see if you can meet with him separately to ask him questions and ask for clarification. If you find the clarification you need from him, perhaps ask him to bring it up in the next class because there may be others in your same situation.
If this isn’t possible, or things aren’t resolved by this, perhaps look for another parish in which to attend RCIA and join. The last thing you want is to be disillusioned with your own parish. Attending Mass each week has not only become spiritual for me, but I look at it as not a chore, but as something I look forward to.
All the ceremonies we went through also were just beautiful and so moving and we had so much support from the whole parish as we were going through each week. Don’t give up on it. We also had people going through RCIA that were already members of the Church, they just wanted to reconnect and learn more about their faith, including my cradle-Catholic then-fiance, now husband. He learned things that he never learned growing up in the Church. Its a never ending learning experience! God Bless You and good luck!