I agree with your first point, I had a different way of expressing it in my first post, but your reasoning is along the same line as mine.
Obviously I agree with your second point, I am likely the person you are referring to.
And I would also not question any of this to any participants. However, the shortcomings of RCIA, if they exist, should be addressed by the Church. As I stated, the PM quoted was probably accurate with its figure that 1/2 of those who complete RCIA are back in a protestant church within a year or two.
My feeling - and it’s just a feeling - is that those who revert back to Protestantism are those who are permitted (for whatever reason) to skip over elements of the RCIA process, in the belief that “they already know that.”
My experience is that the longer someone stays in RCIA (even inadvertently, or for reasons that have nothing to do with the Catechists) the more likely they are to remain active Catholics. There is a real need for people to take the time to make a clean exit from their previous life, and to enter fully into the Catholic way of living and the Catholic way of thinking. A minimalistic approach (just enough to get by, or, “only the essentials”) does more harm than good, in my view.
For example, while it’s true that Marian devotion isn’t “required” by the Church, someone who goes through RCIA being told “Oh, don’t worry - you don’t have to know that; it’s not really required, and really it’s only the old ladies who do that stuff” is more likely to feel alienated within a year (and my hunch it’s when they encounter a priest who prays the “Hail Mary” during the Prayers of the Faithful, or a parish where they pray the Rosary right before Mass) and while they don’t specify that they didn’t know how to react to the Marian devotions they encountered, they do say, “Well, it seems like I just don’t fit in, here.”
On the other hand, if someone has been required to study the Marian devotions even despite the fact that they don’t “connect” with them tend to do a whole lot better. They don’t necessarily participate in them, but they do know what’s going on, and why - and they can sit quietly without feeling left out.
These opinions are not necessarily opposite to the teachings of the Church, some of them are based on the teachings of the church: for example the “Breaking Open the Word” often devolves into plain and simple personal interpretation of scripture, even encourages it. Now, I am sure that is not what is intended, but I believe it is a widespread result.
Part of the problem is facilitators who don’t know what the passages signify - and it’s not really their fault. A lot of these things are not completely obvious (or even evident at all - how is someone, just reading the text without the benefit of a deep understanding of the Holy Tradition, supposed to know that the healing of the paralyzed man is an image of the Sacrament of Reconciliation?

)
So it ends up being about feelings.
Ideally, people would use the available resources, and do some research ahead of time - but this often doesn’t happen, due to lack of time, or simply being unaware that there are resources you can get, that explain all these things in plain language.