S
SBryndy729
Guest
Some of you may remember me…I’ve posted on here before. I’m the bitter mother of one (13 months) with another on the way (due in September) who used to not be so open to life and now feeling REALLY not open to life.
I don’t know what to do. I really do not like this mothering thing, like, at all. I am a stay at home mom, and some days I honestly contemplate how I can run away. I have a history with depression and anxiety and was taking Zoloft; but went off while I was pregnant with my first. Now my midwife just put me back on it, and I will be seeing a therapist tomorrow, but I really don’t know how I am going to survive the next 20 years.
It’s getting to the point where I almost don’t even like my kid. You hear from most parents that parenting is hard work, but there is so much joy that it makes it all worth it…well I am not feeling that yet. Today my son started having a screaming fit and I literally thought I would snap; it’s horrible. My husband helps for the most part but there is still that sense of me being his mother so I still have to do most everything. I am the happiest when I am out of the house away from my son. It’s so sad.
I don’t understand why God would give this child to me if I am not going to be the best mother for him. I was trying to go to daily Mass at least once a week with him but he’s such a handful now; it’s really difficult to go alone.
I don’t know what I am looking for here. Just some hope I guess. I’ve already mentioned I am seeking professional help, but I don’t know if that will help me like my vocation more, just maybe tolerate it. I thought if you found your true vocation, you would have a sense of peace and joy? I understand any vocation will be work and sacrifice, but I am not feeling much joy these days…
I don’t know what to do. I really do not like this mothering thing, like, at all. I am a stay at home mom, and some days I honestly contemplate how I can run away. I have a history with depression and anxiety and was taking Zoloft; but went off while I was pregnant with my first. Now my midwife just put me back on it, and I will be seeing a therapist tomorrow, but I really don’t know how I am going to survive the next 20 years.
It’s getting to the point where I almost don’t even like my kid. You hear from most parents that parenting is hard work, but there is so much joy that it makes it all worth it…well I am not feeling that yet. Today my son started having a screaming fit and I literally thought I would snap; it’s horrible. My husband helps for the most part but there is still that sense of me being his mother so I still have to do most everything. I am the happiest when I am out of the house away from my son. It’s so sad.
I don’t understand why God would give this child to me if I am not going to be the best mother for him. I was trying to go to daily Mass at least once a week with him but he’s such a handful now; it’s really difficult to go alone.
I don’t know what I am looking for here. Just some hope I guess. I’ve already mentioned I am seeking professional help, but I don’t know if that will help me like my vocation more, just maybe tolerate it. I thought if you found your true vocation, you would have a sense of peace and joy? I understand any vocation will be work and sacrifice, but I am not feeling much joy these days…