Really down on being Catholic

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OneAugustKnight

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I have been Catholic since Easter, and I really suck at it. I moved right after my initiation, and I haven’t made any Catholic friends here. My husband and his family have all fallen away from the Church. I can’t inspire them to come back.

I joined this message board so I could practice identifying with Catholics, make Catholic friends and learn more about the Church. But I have failed. I am such a worthless Catholic I can’t even make a Catholic friend on the internet.

Out of the wide variety of Catholics, none of them click with me. In fact, it seems everyone is either vaguely uninterested in me or they just don’t like me.

I am thinking I should not tell that I am Catholic and probably sit in the back during Mass because I really am not a credit to the Catholic faith.

I don’t know how I am going to manage another 50 years of this. I guess I just have to.
 
Since you have becomed Catholic you might discover that fellowshiping is a bit harder, the Mass is used for worshiping GOD not for felloshiping, and most commited catholic tend to gravitate to the dozens of differents apostolates in the Church.
The CC is one big tent of a church and is easy to get lost at the begining
For example;
Have you mystic tendecies? Contact Benedictine Oblates of Secular Discalced Carmelites.
Have you social justice worries? The Franciscan Third Order, the Jesuit Voluntary Corps are for you.
Do you like to help people? Sisters of Mercy and another group or lay organizations.
Pro life groups
Cathequists
Opus Dei
Legion or Army of Mary.
Sovereing Military Order of Malta
Knights of Columbus
Search for those groups for fellowshiping,
 
OneAugustKnight said:
I have been Catholic since Easter, and I really suck at it. I moved right after my initiation, and I haven’t made any Catholic friends here. My husband and his family have all fallen away from the Church. I can’t inspire them to come back.

I joined this message board so I could practice identifying with Catholics, make Catholic friends and learn more about the Church. But I have failed. I am such a worthless Catholic I can’t even make a Catholic friend on the internet.

Out of the wide variety of Catholics, none of them click with me. In fact, it seems everyone is either vaguely uninterested in me or they just don’t like me.

I am thinking I should not tell that I am Catholic and probably sit in the back during Mass because I really am not a credit to the Catholic faith.

I don’t know how I am going to manage another 50 years of this. I guess I just have to.
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In the cloud has some great suggestions about fellowship—I too have found it hard to get to know people by just going to mass. There are prayer groups and all of the other activities and organziations that ITC mentioned—Look on your church bulletin. I decided on a prayer group because from there we do other stuff—visit the retirement homes, hospitols, and generally just communicate with one another about spiritual things.

I sometimes feel people aren’t interested in me—and sometimes I might give the impression to others too:blush: it is not you personally, Monica—people are very “jealous” about their time, esp. if they have families and work outside the home. I don’t work outside the home, and I am STILL very busy with kids—they got me hog-tied half the time:D

You will find some friends–just join some organization:)

Come here often enough too----there are some nice people to talk to. 🙂
 
What kind of thing can I join that is compatible with being a pregnant mother who hasn’t got a babysitter, and whose husband works away from home for one month, and is home 100% of the time the next month?
 
OneAugustKnight said:
What kind of thing can I join that is compatible with being a pregnant mother who hasn’t got a babysitter, and whose husband works away from home for one month, and is home 100% of the time the next month?
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Talk to your parish priest about this:) —maybe he can give you some suggestions, or maybe they have an organization that provides child care.
 
OneAugustKnight said:
What kind of thing can I join that is compatible with being a pregnant mother who hasn’t got a babysitter, and whose husband works away from home for one month, and is home 100% of the time the next month?
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Le Leche League in your area will have meetings. You can hook up with other Catholic mamas there. And you can bring your wee one(s). Plus, you will get a mama support system.
Does your new parish have a pre-school, or offer mommy and me things?
Contact the parish office and ask about the women’s groups. Or contact the diocese and ask the same thing. They will be able to point you in the right direction.
huggles
 
PatienceAndLove said:
Le Leche League in your area will have meetings. You can hook up with other Catholic mamas there. And you can bring your wee one(s). Plus, you will get a mama support system.
Does your new parish have a pre-school, or offer mommy and me things?
Contact the parish office and ask about the women’s groups. Or contact the diocese and ask the same thing. They will be able to point you in the right direction.
huggles
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They have a school, but the school had no room for my daughter, so I am homeschooling, which I have no problem with, and my husband and family want me to do that anyways. Anyhow, I live in one of those “homeschoolers are weird” areas, and there is nobody else that homeschools.

My daughter is in CCD, but cannot park the car for drop offs and pick ups, we have to go through the car line. So I don’t really get to talk to any of the teachers or parents then either.

I also joined an organization, but they called and said that ministry has so many people they don’t really need me, but that they will call if they ever do. I was going to join the choir to play my violin, but they changed the style of music to kind of a rock style that is pretty much incompatible with violins.

I will talk to the priest and contact the diocese. I am supposed to be be in a really good diocese for young people.

The closest La Leche League is 1 hour away. How old does a child have to be to participate in 4-H?
 
I had difficulty geting to know Catholics when I was first received into the CHurch as well. This may be your cross right now. Offer it up to the Lord for the souls in purgatory, your family, or some other just cause. That being said, God doesn’t want you to be lonely. He wants you to find fellowship. The suggestions others have made are good. It may be a good idea to talk to the priest and explain your situation to him. Also, continue to pray. As Our Lord and our Blessed Mother to bless you with good, holy, Catholic friends! In my case it took a couple years, but in time my prayers were answered!
 
Okay, here- if it makes you feel any better- I know how you feel and I am not "new;) ". I have tried, I have volunteered, ect. All of that. Now, things may get better because my child is in the school now, so we will see. I just dont know what to say, except- stay. Just like I am doing. It’s not easy but that’s the way it can be.
I dont recall seeing any of your posts, and I am sorry if you have not found freinds here yet. I’ll bet everyone here posting would be proud to have you as a friend.
 
Hellisreal said:
Okay, here- if it makes you feel any better- I know how you feel and I am not "new;) ". I have tried, I have volunteered, ect. All of that. Now, things may get better because my child is in the school now, so we will see. I just dont know what to say, except- stay. Just like I am doing. It’s not easy but that’s the way it can be.
I dont recall seeing any of your posts, and I am sorry if you have not found freinds here yet. I’ll bet everyone here posting would be proud to have you as a friend.
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I “second” your post, Hellisreal—good advice:)

I hope it works out for you and your child in school—it does change:D I felt like a single person again without them when they went to school…but now with a baby again…oh well…back to the grind:D
 
Hellisreal, I intend to stay. I can’t imagine anything worse than being separated from the Church. I guess in 6 more years my youngest will be in school if my husband doesn’t want me to continue homeschooling, and then I’ll have more opportunities.

The thing is, although I do go out and meet and talk to plenty of people, it never goes further than polite aquaintances. I speak differently than people where I live, and have had a different life. When I mention things I like sometimes “nobody is into that here.” I feel like a foreigner.
 
OneAugustKnight said:
Hellisreal, I intend to stay. I can’t imagine anything worse than being separated from the Church. I guess in 6 more years my youngest will be in school if my husband doesn’t want me to continue homeschooling, and then I’ll have more opportunities.

The thing is, although I do go out and meet and talk to plenty of people, it never goes further than polite aquaintances. I speak differently than people where I live, and have had a different life. When I mention things I like sometimes “nobody is into that here.” I feel like a foreigner.
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Hey there Kiddo…!! 🙂

Anything that’s on your mind, I’ll talk about with 'ya.

I’m SURE I’m nowhere near alone in that.

You’re a great credit to the Church…! I can tell that already. Your humility is WAY ahead of 98% of the people that I run into, Catholic or not, and to be humble is THE greatest obstacle to being a real person conversing with real people about REAL stuff.

I, for one, am looking forward to hearing what you have to say…!

Biggest lump of aloha to 'ya…!

Mahalo ke Akua…!
E pili mau na pomaikai ia oe. Aloha nui.
 
Have you checked to see if there is a homeschool group in your area? There usually is one. I live in a town right outside a big city and our home school group makes up about seven or eight towns that surround our city. We all meet and do things and the parents keep in touch with one another and “support” one another. See if you can find something on the internet about a homeschool group in your area. Everyone else has made really great suggestions. I’m praying for you. You do not “suck” at being Catholic. You are just having a little trouble finding Catholic friends, and it probably has to do more with your area than yourself.

Smile! 🙂
 
May God’s peace, love and mercy be with you and your loved ones!

Welcome! Do not feel bad about being alone, for Our Good Lord Jesus surely keeps you company and is always with you. And I am very sure that He surely enjoys every moment that you spend with Him.

The good thing about belonging to the Catholic Church is that you now belong to a bigger family. So big it is beyond human comprehension. You have Our blessed Mother, all the angels, saints, poor souls in Purgatory and all of us members of the Catholic Church all throughout the world.

Do not be discouraged, just pray and ask for God to make His most Holy Will known to you, so you can go where He wants you to go, and be with people whom He wants You to be with, for His greater honor and glory. God always has the Perfect Plan. We just have to be open to it and be willing to follow Him no matter what the cost may be.

Regardless of what happens, always cling to Jesus, stay close to Him by receiving the Sacraments of confession and holy eucharist frequently. Offer/ surrender all (your joy, pain, sorrow, loneliness, abandonment, difficulties, trials etc.) to Jesus through Mary in union with His Suffering on the Cross and He will take care of the rest.

May Our Good God continuously bless us with an unwavering and filial faith, hope, and love, and an unlimited confidence and trust in His Mercy.

Blessed be Jesus and Mary!
 
Home all the time? Maybe you could teach CCD? I know our group is always begging for volunteers, and they might have a program or daycare for your daughter. It’s a great thing to do for Christ’s Church, and gets you in touch with the other adults in the group, many of whom probably have children themselves.
 
I’m sorry that you’re having a rough time of it. I will pray for you.
 
BTW, since your are alone at home you could use the time to study online.
Also some should start a prayer and contemplation in the world online sort of junior OPUS DEI for housewives and people who lives alone. Liturgy of the Hours, Rosay prayers, Spiritual Exercises.
 
OneAugustKnight

What is your idea on what a Catholic is suppose to be?

Jim
 
OneAugustKnight said:
What kind of thing can I join that is compatible with being a pregnant mother who hasn’t got a babysitter, and whose husband works away from home for one month, and is home 100% of the time the next month?
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Monica, you will make friends here. Consider becoming involved in scripture study, or a service related activity that will apply to your husband as well, in case he tags along with you. With a month off, the two of you need some spiritual fulfillment.

Remember human nature when you join a new parish, or new activities at the parish. Those already in it have some sense of ownership, whether right or wrong. Bide your time and allow the established members to lead and instruct. There will come the time when you may begin to participate, contribute, or even lead them.

It took a long time for my wife and I to be accepted at our parish, which is in a small town and whose members have known each since birth, and their parents, grandparents etc. There is a ‘small town’ or “parrochial” attitude that you simply must overcome. It’s human nature and we all display it to some extent.

There will be someone there who will bond with you-likely someone who experienced the exact thing you are going through now. But persevere, as the widow did in Luke 18:1-5 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’ "For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’ "

Christ’s peace be always with you.
 
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