Really Lost Right Now...Need Some Help

[Pax]

I have read over all of y’all responses.

Today, I just kinda “lived on auto.” I didn’t even bother to pray or seek Christ. Then later someone told me to write down what I thought God was saying to me. I thought that might be a bad thing, but I figured that maybe one of the ways God speaks to us is through the catechetical teachings we have received. So I sat down and I prayed asking God to use my hands and my pen to speak to me, and I let go with the trust that this letter would be orthodox and from God.

Here is what I wrote (I embellished a little)…(from Jesus)…it also includes some auricular statements that I said randomly.

That was the message. After reading the original one over I decided to come to Christ in prayer. I audibly (not easy) confessed to Him every act I did…no euphemisms…just the hard truth. I told Him that I was sorry and that I would get back up, stop wallowing in shame, repent, and follow Him again. I firmly resolved to meet with Him in the Confessional Saturday.

Tonight, I am going to seek Him in prayer. I am going to seek the face of the Living God, the Holy One of Yisrael. Please pray for me (as I know you will).

Thanks again for the responses. May the Living God bless all of y’all immensely for your help in this.

-Anthony John

God is good and has touched your heart. The Father loves you and Jesus will lead you by the Spirit. May the Lord’s mercy and peace be with you.

Please pray for us as we pray for you.

 

[Kathrin]

And I WANT to seek my Master. To tell Him what I’ve done, to rest again in His arms.

That is what matters, isn’t it?

God knows you so well, He knows your very heart and soul, He knows everything about you.
He also knows we are only human.

I will pray for you.

Kathrin

 

[Antonius_Lupus]

Dear brethren in Christ,

I come here today to proclaim the healing power of Jesus Christ. About three hours and thirty minutes ago I met with Jesus Christ in a confessional at my home parish. I told Him all the stuff I did…I didn’t hide anything from Him…just told Him it all. It wasn’t easy, but I did it…and I am so glad I did.

My pastor witnessed the confession and gave me some excellent advice. He told me that now I have a chance to start anew. He told me that if I ask Christ’s grace; He would provide it. Basically, there is nothing that will “make” me have to fall into these sins again. He thought it was funny to hear my assertion that being a practicing Pagan was easier than being a Christian.

Then came the moment I had longed for: when the priest, acting in the person of Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit, gave me the absolution.

In the name of the Holy Trinity, the Blood of Jesus Christ washed me and cleansed me of all my stains. He took my baptismal garment, which I had defiled, and made it white as snow. Then I heard Jesus’ gentle words in my ear: “Go in peace……”

As I left the confessional, I saw one of my spiritual mothers sitting in one of the pews. I had asked her to pray for me, and to see her there was……moving. As I sat down away from her to pray, I felt overcome with emotion. “Thank you Master!” was all I could say. The analogy that came to mind was as though my chains had been loosed and I could breathe again; air rushing back into my lungs. I prayed in thanksgiving the prayer that the Master taught to us.

I then went to speak with my spiritual mother. She was so kind. I could hardly talk to her at first because I was emotional. She was gentle and patient. I thanked her for her prayers and gave her a big hug. I almost cried.

She told me that Confession actually brings us closer to Christ because when we sin, we cut the rope that bonds us to Christ, but in Confession Jesus reties the rope and in doing this, we are drawn closer to Him.

As I left the Church to go to Mass in the gym (our Church is too small for Sunday Mass), I started to sing this song……emphasis mine:

Matthew West - Only Grace
From the album History

There is no guilt here
There is no shame
No pointing fingers
There is no blame
What happened yesterday
Has disappeared
The dirt has washed away
And now it’s clear

Chorus:
There’s only grace
There’s only love
There’s only mercy
And believe me it’s enough
Your sins are gone
Without a trace
There’s nothing left now
There’s only grace

You’re starting over now
Under the sun
You’re stepping forward now
A new life has begun
Your new life has begun

Chorus:

And if you should fall again
Get back up, get back up
Reach out and take my hand
Get back up, Get back up
Get back up again

Chorus: (2x’s)

Anyway, I cannot tell you of the depth of how my Master revealed Himself to me today. I was healed, restored, brought back to life in Christ Jesus.

I came to the Cross today………and I was washed with the Blood of the Lamb who was slain. Glory, honor, power and majesty be to Lamb; unto the ages of ages. Amen.

To you, brothers and sisters, I give you my heartfelt thanks. You will never know how your posts encouraged me to get back up on my feet and seek the mercy of my Master. And now, He has healed me.

NOW I CAN WALK AGAIN! NOW I CAN BREATHE AGAIN!!! NOW MY BURDENS ARE GONE……MY SINS ARE NO MORE AND I AM HEALED!!!

ALLELUIA!!!

Thanks to all of you. I offer each of you a kiss of peace.

I am now returning to walking in my Master’s footsteps. I am still trying to find time for Bible Study and Prayer, so I will not be posting until a later time. However, I continue to ask for your prayers as they have no doubt lifted me up from my despair. God only knows how your prayers will sustain me in the future.

Tomorrow I am making a pilgrimage to St. Ignatios of Antioch, Melkite Greek Catholic Church in Augusta, GA. I go to worship in the Divine Liturgy with my Eastern Orthodox Catholic (aka. Byzantine Catholic) brethren. I go to tell them of my Initiation into the Faith, and to see a relic of St. Ignatios of Antioch himself (bone-fragment). I will also be able to receive the Holy Eucharist in the tradition of the Eastern Orthodox, something that I have longed for since my first communion with Christ in the Eucharist.

I now know that if I have any problems in my walk as a disciple, I can come here for wisdom, encouragement….but above all….LOVE IN CHRIST.

PEACE be upon ALL of you,

-Anthony John

 

[Koopa]

:harp: How wonderful! Confession is odd, isn’t it? You go in all scared about confessing your sins and come out with a peace you’d never known. It’s so great! :bounce:

If only all Catholics would realize the healing power of Confession.

Could we all pray for that, please?

Thanks for giving us all a good day, Antonius!

 

[Kathrin]

Thank you for sharing with us this account of God’s wonderful mercy!!