Reasons young adults give about non practice

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I am curious of the reasons that the 18 to 30 crowd, Unmarried especially
Give for no longer attending mass and not practicing their faith.

Any thoughts?
 
fastenatingguy said:
I am curious of the reasons that the 18 to 30 crowd, Unmarried especially
Give for no longer attending mass and not practicing their faith.

Any thoughts?
Click to expand...
My brother for a couple of years had stated that he thought it a waste of time; that the hour he spent in mass could be better spent elsewhere. He was also of the mind that it was better to do good in and of itself, rather than do good for ulterior motives (Christian ideals).

For more… academic reasons, I would suggest this youtube video: youtu.be/s0sspv5npis

It’s not directly related, but I think the core ideas presented in the video can be extrapolated to a growing “me” culture, which in itself ignores the Church’s (and the larger Christian world’s) community-based culture.
 
I’m 31 and am one of the few people my age in my area who still attend mass and practice the faith. When I ask other young Catholics why they don’t attend mass, reasons include:
  1. they were never bought up by their parents to attend mass weekly
  2. they only see it necessary to go at Christmas and Easter
  3. they don’t have the time
  4. they don’t find mass relevant or modern or engaging enough
  5. they don’t agree with all of the church’s teachings (ie. contraception and pre-marital sex)
Many young people I know have been attracted by the Pentecostal churches, which have a stronger emphasis on music and social outings and bible study.
 
My children are now aged 25 and 22.

They both let their Mass attendance drop after leaving home.

My son stopped because he worked in a grocery store while attending university. He worked on Sundays and he didn’t know anyone in the city he moved to that attended Mass. He did not want to go alone, even if he could find the time.
(This was a real shame because for his first year he shared a house with four other guys, three of whom (or: of which?) attended the same Catholic school as my son.)
This past year he has started going to Mass on occasion at a parish near his new abode.

My daughter …
First of all let me say that she was living with her protestant aunt from grades 8 - 12.
Well she only wants to do what her friends do. That does not include going to Mass.:mad:
She has been to Mass recently because after college she began working in ‘group homes’ for the mentally/physically challenged. Some of the residents were/are Catholic and needed to be taken to Saturday night Mass. She was more than happy to go and finally be at Mass.

So …
  1. Mass is not a priority.
  2. Mass is not a ‘cool’ thing to do.
 
AussieAngel said:
I’m 31 and am one of the few people my age in my area who still attend mass and practice the faith. When I ask other young Catholics why they don’t attend mass, reasons include:

1) they were never bought up by their parents to attend mass weekly
2) they only see it necessary to go at Christmas and Easter
3) they don’t have the time
4) they don’t find mass relevant or modern or engaging enough
5) they don’t agree with all of the church’s teachings (ie. contraception and pre-marital sex)

Many young people I know have been attracted by the Pentecostal churches, which have a stronger emphasis on music and social outings and bible study.
Click to expand...
I am well past the 18 - 30 crowd. But, when I was that age, I have to say, I was just never taught that it was something I needed to do. 🤷

Heck, I wouldn’t have even said I needed to go to Confession after missing Mass for months or years. I just wasn’t taught that it was a problem.
 
Most 18-30 year olds give “I don’t know” as their reason for pretty much everything.
 
They think it’s boring, don’t want to get “dressed up” and spend time at church on a day off, and do not believe that their salvation depends on going. Most will just say they pray in their own way/on their own time, or that the Catholic Church makes no sense to them and seems like an anti-intellectual anachronism.

Many wish to lead lives inconsistent with Church teaching, so they leave.
 
Count me in with the “not taught the faith” crowd.

My parents had me baptized and I received Communion. It ended there when my mom decided she didn’t feel like driving us to CCD since my sister and I already had other activities that interfered (our Parish had CCD during the week for some age groups). 🤷

I was taught virtually nothing about my faith beyond God creating the world, Jesus was his only son, my “Our Father” and my “Hail Mary” and that I needed to be a “good” person in order to please God…whatever that meant.
I was given a candy bar when I memorized a prayer during CCD.

Believe me…I was in for quite a shock when I started my conversion (I don’t call it a reversion since I don’t feel I was ever a Catholic to begin with…but, that’s just me) and actually started to read what the Church taught and why.

I converted at the age of 27. So i’m not quite out of the 18-30 spectrum. For me, a big reason is because many of these young adults weren’t taught their faith…at all.
They were either baptized and received Communion for the photo op/please Grandma…or they belong to a family of serious Cafeteria Catholics who pick and choose the doctrine they follow.
 
JackieMom said:
They think it’s boring, don’t want to get “dressed up” and spend time at church on a day off, and do not believe that their salvation depends on going. Most will just say they pray in their own way/on their own time, or that the Catholic Church makes no sense to them and seems like an anti-intellectual anachronism.

Many wish to lead lives inconsistent with Church teaching, so they leave.
Click to expand...
This is a huge reason many will start going to Non-denominational/charismatic protestant Churches. These Churches encourage independence, especially when it comes to prayer, Church attendance and Scripture interpretation.

They still believe Jesus is their savior but don’t like the “rules” of the Catholic Church.
 
I’m older than your target age group, but I have a friend who is 28 and I’m trying to get her to return. She would rather go the Superfun Rockband church because of the community feel and " there’s no guilt".
 
The culture at large is egocentric, children are raised in a world that places a premium on the cult of choice “do what thou wilt is the whole of the law”. The Church was born with Mary’s fiat, her total and unwavering obedience to the will of God; this type of faith and obedience is seen as a weakness and unnecessary nowadays. This spirit of rebellion states: I shall choose for myself what I will be, where I shall go, how I shall worship- if I choose to worship at all.
Add to this the breakdown of the family (the domestic Church), a lack of teaching and understanding (catechesis) and a cold nonchalance toward the Eternal and the state of the soul. In the end it’s the same old lie, “You shall not surely die.”
 
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It is the ‘fast lifestyles’ with every type of ‘negative to our Souls’ ‘mediums/rubbish’ that has ruined mankind’s Love and Respect for God and one-self, for the Family Unit, towards our Brothers and Sisters in Christ, for Humanity.

Take away many of the ‘mediums/rubbish’ and there is a great deal of time to be spent on praying, abstaining from junk food, attending Mass, Reconciliation, coming closer to God as a result.

Advertising is the way to go in each Region, including some Fundraisers such as BBQ’s, Cake Stalls, some Christian Bands/Music Groups on a weekend outside Churches, organising some well advertised fun entertainment to pop the thoughts ie ‘reminders’ into the minds of busy young Catholics getting them to return to Mass and Reconciliation.

Some obstacles arose in my Marriage half way through (husband would not attend Mass through the Marriage) and I was left to do all of the admin work through every night for 8 years, attend work, on top of raising the Children. I should have attended Mass each week regardless of how exhausted and zombie like from 2 hours sleep most nights, but I lapsed. Prayers, but not the Holy Rosaries prayed opening up my Heart fully. Reconciliation lapsed and what followed was a nightmare. It was not until I re-commenced attending Mass and Reconciliation regularly that every aspect in my Life turned around and for my Children more so. Praying The Holy Rosaries are vital, particularly for Couples and Families not attending Mass regularly receiving Jesus (Holy Eucharist).

The sad and dreadful fact is that if we do not get back on track now before we depart there is little hope on the other side travelling back to God (ie by then too late) unless our Family or others do some hard praying for us.

These are the messages I am in the process of delivering to my just grown up Children (young Adults) whether they care to hear about it or not. Especially before they have their own Families to impart Jesus Scriptures and His Commandments and Ways to assist in saving their Souls later.
 
A few of the judgmental comments in this thread might be a clue but I digress. I was born and raised Protestant, my mom was good about sending me to Sunday School and service almost every week weather she went or not at least during my younger and more formative years. We switched churches a lot and over the years never really maintained going to church every week. As a younger adult I would go through “phases” of being really active in church but sometimes things people said or did that were uncharitable and unkind hurt me and I would drift away again. I went through quite a few years where I wasn’t interested in going to anybodies church no matter Protestant, Catholic or anything else. The thing about it is I never stopped praying or reading my bible I just didn’t want to “do” church there was too much that went along with it that I thought was negative and too many people’s actions that didn’t align with how Jesus calls us to be.

Fast forward to me STILL not wanting to have anything to do with church and a former co worker and one of my best friends came back to Catholicism after being away for 13 years. Boy oh boy he would ask me to Mass every Saturday and every Saturday I would say no. After awhile of us hanging out and me not having a car he said it would be easier if you went then I wouldn’t have to make two trips, I would sit through it and at first felt nothing after awhile things started to sink in and I didn’t mind so much, then I actually looked forward a little and so the progression started. Me and him are no longer friends and I ended up in the Catholic church in my old neighborhood where my mother’s babysitter would take them as kids.

I fell in love with the Church deepened my relationship with Christ and eventually went through RCIA and converted. BTW my Catholic Parish has an amazing choir and band. Many other churches I didn’t feel comfortable in also had amazing choirs and bands, that makes it easier to engage but its not the “reason” I doubt many people stay in non denominational churches for the music. For me the reason I “balance” Mass and still attending Non Denom churches is because I was raised Protestant and many of my friends and family are and I AM comfortable there. I can “get into the holy spirit” wherever I worship. I can understand and be deeply moved and LOVE Mass but also appreciate the more spontaneous prayer of a Non Denom church.
 
Thanks for all of the insight and answers.

My daughter is 27 now and “not really going to mass anymore…” She went to a Catholic HS and Catholic College. She attended mass and served as a Kairos leader for five years, often in Spanish (her second language) for a poor parish. She did lots of service work that was related to the Church.

Then she moved to Denmark to play womens’ professional hockey for two years. There are virtually no Catholics in Denmark, so she would only make it to mass in Copenhagen every few months. She had no interest in attending a Lutheran Church. I wanted her to do that (kind of weird, I know, but I thought something was better than nothing).

So she moved back and settled in NYC and works for a big company. Many of her college friends that she hangs with are no longer active either. Just “Chreasters” and weddings. Most of them are single. She works across the street from St Patrick’s Cathedral, but has never even ventured in. 😦

A good priest friend said “she’ll be back in due time” (wedding, children, etc) but none of those are near term goals for her. 🤷
 
The people of that age that I work with at the hospital say that “they don’t believe in it anymore.”

They believe in “God” (vague), but not any organized religion or religious organization.

So sad.

The main reason they don’t believe in it is because they think that there are many religions in the world, and no one has a right to say that their religion is “the only truth.”

Another reason they don’t believe is because the Church condemns gay marriage, abortion, co-habitation, and other practices that many young adults see as “good” and normal.

A third reason they don’t believe in it is because Jesus seems like a fictional character to them. He’s not a real person to them. Spirituality is a very vague concept, and to many of the young adults, their yoga class or their mountain biking trip or sex with someone they love provide a greater spiritual experience than “church.” Christianity seems like just another “story” like Santa Claus–sweet for children, but not relevant to them.
 
ewtn.com/library/PRIESTS/COULSON.TXT

Dr. Coulson influenced the thinking of many nuns and priests after Vatican 2. he taught them to “think for themselves and to question authority” etc. etc.
Because of his teachings, nuns and priests left the convents and churches. Teachers who listened to him taught his ideas to their pupils. After much harm was done, Dr Coulson realized how wrong he was and has been trying to undo what he has wrought.
 
Good morning:

Miss Felicity - I think your experience is amazing and beautiful AND hopeful. Attending Sunday Mass takes more or less an hour out of our week, yet no where else do we encounter The Lord in quite the same way.

What many Catholics who leave the practice of the faith then come home to the Church say is that ultimately they felt there was something missing, the Sacraments, especially the Holy Eucharist.

Personally I think the music at Sunday Mass is very important and should be the highest quality possible. It doesn’t have to be very “contemporary” though. Young people can and will respond to beauty and authenticity. There’s a saying that if it was just about guitars and drums providing the worship music, the Catholic Church should be filled to overflowing, which, of course, is not the case.

I also think that if young people knew WHAT and WHY the Church teaches about those issues that are so much in the news, they would better understand, even respect it. They swim in the water of our culture and have all the nonsense and superficiality of the media shoved at them 24/7. If they were given the message of Christ’s love for them and the Church’s good and loving teachings, maybe it would give them a different viewpoint.

Have a good day all.
 
Statistics/ demographics help here.

Typically people return to the faith once they have married and begin raising kids. In the US, and unfortunately elsewhere, there is this unpleasant (in many ways) trend of cohabitation.

This enormously messes with the development of the next generation, children and the creation of stable families. It also pushes off the age of first marriage, looking at the group.

In 2013, we see the start of the birth dearth cohort coming in, which means that it’s easier to say there’s a large drop, since there’s fewer to begin with.

I think the 1960s generation raised their children without developing a commitment to the faith: they did the whole “I’ll let Johnny decide for himself” business, or worse, “I won’t influence Johnny’s spiritual direction” (which in practical terms means Johnny’s totally lost and losing in this area—kind of like if parents let their kids teach themselves calculus if they want to). I don’t want to crank on this much, but it’s a factor.

And of course, during this span of years, young people are enjoying a blast of nice independence and the ability to fornicate, use drink and drugs, party and socialize. To some extent, our society has Boy meeting Girl – pair bonding — in some questionable ways.

Marriage itself has lost an economic basis, as men’s wages have been stagnant and women have entered the workforce so that the boat can stay afloat. Economic gains have gone to the Elite, not Joe Sixpack. This impacts families, as well as the disappearance of stable jobs.

Cheap stuff from Walmart is pricey in reality.
 
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