Receiving communion when you haven't gone to confession...

[hellopeople]

I am baptized and confirmed Catholic. I am 23 now, and stopped going to church a long time ago. I masturbate and use condoms with my wife on a regular basis. I am under the impression that I shouldn’t receive communion if I have not gone to confession and had these sins resolved. But I haven’t gone to confession in over 2 years (and the last time I did I mentioned that I was having sex with my wife (who was only my girlfriend at the time) and that I wasn’t really sorry for it because I didn’t think there was anything morally wrong with it).

Anyway, I don’t refrain from receiving communion when I do end up in church. My grandmother’s funeral was yesterday and I received communion without even thinking about it. If my mother, aunts, and uncles saw that I did not receive communion they would think that to be a huge sign of disrespect and it would probably weigh on her heart on the day her mother was being buried. Should I have not gotten communion because, according to the church, I am not fit for it? Or, should I have received communion, as I did, so as not to add any extra stress to my mother and my family?

 

[LilyM]

I am baptized and confirmed Catholic. I am 23 now, and stopped going to church a long time ago. I masturbate and use condoms with my wife on a regular basis. I am under the impression that I shouldn’t receive communion if I have not gone to confession and had these sins resolved. But I haven’t gone to confession in over 2 years (and the last time I did I mentioned that I was having sex with my wife (who was only my girlfriend at the time) and that I wasn’t really sorry for it because I didn’t think there was anything morally wrong with it).

Anyway, I don’t refrain from receiving communion when I do end up in church. My grandmother’s funeral was yesterday and I received communion without even thinking about it. If my mother, aunts, and uncles saw that I did not receive communion they would think that to be a huge sign of disrespect and it would probably weigh on her heart on the day her mother was being buried. Should I have not gotten communion because, according to the church, I am not fit for it? Or, should I have received communion, as I did, so as not to add any extra stress to my mother and my family?

You don’t see anything morally wrong with fornication outside of wedlock? So you expect that you’ll get to the Pearly Gates and God’s just going to say to you ‘yep, I told you so many times in My Word, the scriptures, that fornication is a sin, but hey, as long as YOU think it’s OK, who gives a toss what I think, welcome to Heaven! …’

If offending God and endangering your immortal soul (which is what you do when you receive Communion in a state of sin) is less important to you than upsetting/stressing your family, then you have some serious rethinking of your priorities to do.

Sparing your family’s feelings is NOT necessarily going to save you, obedience to God and His commandments WILL save you (including His commandment via St Paul about not receiving the Eucharist unworthily).

Not to mention the deep significance of communion - part of which is about expressing your ‘communion’ with the Church, which is itself the Body of Christ.

If you choose not to assent to some of the teachings of the Church, and yet choose to make a statement of communion with it by receiving the sacrament, then your action is seriously misguided and misleading, if not an outright lie. A bit like me, being an Australian citizen and not a US citizen, reciting the pledge of allegiance to the American flag (and hence the American nation) alongside my US brothers.

So short answer, no you shouldn’t have received Communion - and if your family asks, thell them that your decision to receive or not is your business and God’s, not theirs.

 

[hellopeople]

If offending God and endangering your mortal soul (which is what you do when you sin) is less important to you than upsetting/stressing your family, then you have some serious reorganising of your priorities to do.

So short anser, no you shouldn’t have received Communion.

I don’t think it is offensive to God or that I endangered my mortal soul. I honestly think communion is not nearly as important as the Catholic church seems to think.

 

[Seatuck]

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=422475

I think you need to be a man and act accordingly. If you are not choosing to practice your faith then let it be know that you don’t and stop living a lie in front of people.

 

[CatofAlexandria]

You should not have received communion that day because you were not in a state of grace. This is true even if your family would have perceived it as disrespectful. The best thing that you could have done that day (and in similar situations) would be to make an act of contrition and then ask the Lord for a spiritual communion, praying for purity of heart.

Because my family is Protestant and I am Catholic, I am often in a similar situation. I do not participate in their breaking of the bread because it would be a sin for me to do so. I know that my relatives do not understand this and are likely offended by this, but I pray for myself and for them while I politely refuse because I know that this is the right thing to do. I also know how hard it is to go to Mass without receiving communion – I went to Mass for two years before I was Catholic, and golly did I get some looks! But the fact of the matter is that the opinions of others carry very little weight in Catholic moral theology. Jesus said time and again in the Gospels that such opinions are of no consequence (see, e.g., Matthew 6:5-6).

It’s great that you’re asking these questions right now. Go to Confession – don’t worry about the long lapse! God forgives and heals all sins.

 

[LilyM]

I don’t think it is offensive to God or that I endangered my mortal soul. I honestly think communion is not nearly as important as the Catholic church seems to think.

I re-edited my post to address just those topics. Reread it, and please prayerfully read Corinthians Chapter 11, where God, through the pen of St Paul, instructs us on HIS views about the significance of the Eucharist. Also please prayerfully consider the NT verse where God again instructs us, through the pen of St Paul, that fornicators will not inherit the kingdom of God.

I note also that you didn’t address my points about communion meaning that you assent to the teachings of the Church, that you are in communion with IT, and receiving it when you are otherwise being deceptive. Think about them also, please.

 

[hellopeople]

I re-edited my post to address just those topics. Reread it, and please prayerfully read Corinthians Chapter 11, where God, through the pen of St Paul, instructs us on HIS views about the significance of the Eucharist. Also please prayerfully consider the NT verse where God again instructs us, through the pen of St Paul, that fornicators will not inherit the kingdom of God.

I note also that you didn’t address my points about communion meaning that you assent to the teachings of the Church, that you are in communion with IT, and receiving it when you are otherwise being deceptive. Think about them also, please.

27Therefore, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. 28A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup. **29For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment on himself. 30That is why many among you are weak and sick, and a number of you have fallen asleep. 31But if we judged ourselves, we would not come under judgment. 32When we are judged by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be condemned with the world. **

Look at the part that I bolded. Paul is stating that if you eat the bread and drink the blood in an unworthy state, we are disciplined here and now in this world. He says that we are judged by the lord, and we are disciplined (hence why people are weak, sick, and asleep) and this discipline is so that we will NOT be condemned with the world. So, according to paul, if God disapproves of the state I was in when I received communion, I will be disciplined here and now, and not in the after life.

 

[Lancer]

27Therefore, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. 28A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup. **29For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment on himself. 30That is why many among you are weak and sick, and a number of you have fallen asleep. 31But if we judged ourselves, we would not come under judgment. 32When we are judged by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be condemned with the world. **

Look at the part that I bolded. Paul is stating that if you eat the bread and drink the blood in an unworthy state, we are disciplined here and now in this world. He says that we are judged by the lord, and we are disciplined (hence why people are weak, sick, and asleep) and this discipline is so that we will NOT be condemned with the world. So, according to paul, if God disapproves of the state I was in when I received communion, I will be disciplined here and now, and not in the after life.

God bless you…and may He enhance the faith that you have…and may He increase your theological and scriptural knowledge and understanding…by and through the power of his Most Holy Spirit.

Keep at it…don’t give up!

Pax Christi

 

[Eris_Discordia]

I was a Catholic, and I left. It was hard to tell my family, and we were also very involved with our church at the time, and my mom was embarrassed because people would see my not take communion. However, I stuck to my guns, because I felt it was disrespectful to put on a front. I still occasionally go to Church, and people do say things behind my back about the fact that I no longer receive communion, but I refuse to be disrespectful to the sacrament, because it was important to a lot of people.

 

[LilyM]

27Therefore, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. 28A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup. **29For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment on himself. 30That is why many among you are weak and sick, and a number of you have fallen asleep. 31But if we judged ourselves, we would not come under judgment. 32When we are judged by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be condemned with the world. **

Look at the part that I bolded. Paul is stating that if you eat the bread and drink the blood in an unworthy state, we are disciplined here and now in this world. He says that we are judged by the lord, and we are disciplined (hence why people are weak, sick, and asleep) and this discipline is so that we will NOT be condemned with the world. So, according to paul, if God disapproves of the state I was in when I received communion, I will be disciplined here and now, and not in the after life.

Not so fast.

Of course you can receive unworthily, get sick or otherwise be punished in an earthly sense (by the way Paul doesn’t say that their judgement and punishment ONLY relate to this life or only consist of physical suffering). You can then avoid condemnation by putting two and two together, realising your sin and its material consequences if any, AND repenting as a result.

By the way - you’re happy to suffer? Happy to live with the knowledge that you are even MAYBE guilty of Our Lord’s sacred Body and Blood? Funny attitude for anyone who claims to have any sort of relationship with Him.

The main question, of course, is what happens to those who do NOT repent. THEIR guilt against Our Lord’s Body and Blood certainly isn’t wiped clean by their earthly sufferings if they remain unrepentant. For we all suffer on earth, and yet some of us still have more suffering to do in the hereafter in atonement for our sins. It doesn’t work the way you seem to think it does.

As long as they are unrepentant they will remain condemned (as Paul says, they have eaten and drunk condemnation upon themselves) - and if they die unrepentant their guilt will remain upon their souls and they will be condemned in the hereafter.

Of course you still haven’t addressed other equally important issues where there’s no such leeway -

a) your sin of fornication - clearly and explicitly condemned in scripture as gravely sinful - ‘fornicators will not inherit the Kingdom of God’ is but one example. Premarital sex is explicitly included in scripture among condemned sexual behaviour, and has since earliest days of the Church always been understood to fall under the category of ‘fornication’.

b) your profession, by the act of receiving communion, that you are in fact in communion with the Church, meaning you accept its teachings. Why would you want to profess such things if you are in fact NOT in communion with the Church and DON’T accept its teachings? Do you think God doesn’t care that you’re professing communion with the Catholic church when in fact you aren’t?

As I said, it’s like me as an Aussie pledging allegiance to the American flag and hence to the US.

Wrong on SO many different levels!

Insulting to Americans, insulting to Australians, a lie as I don’t truly HAVE any sense of allegiance to the US flag or the US, deceptive, as those around me will assume I am American.

 

[KostyaJMJ]

If you’ve stopped being Catholic in any meaningful sense why are you worried about the morality of receiving the Eucharist in the state of mortal sin?

 

[hellopeople]

Not so fast.

Of course you can receive unworthily, get sick or otherwise be punished in an earthly sense (by the way Paul doesn’t say that their judgement and punishment ONLY relate to this life or only consist of physical suffering). **

Paul states that you will be punished in this life so that you will not be condemned with non-Christians. This is explicit and I don’t see how it can be read in any other way.
**

You can then avoid condemnation by putting two and two together, realising your sin and its material consequences if any, AND repenting as a result.

**Paul does not say that this will result in condemnation. For Paul, one must believe in Jesus to be righteous before God. And, to be honest, it doesn’t seem like Paul views Jesus to be fully human and fully divine. If this were the case, then why would he write this passage? (1 Corinthians 11:3) " 3Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." This passage seems to suggest that Paul himself does not view Jesus as fully divine. Paul says other things that suggest this as well. Paul definitely views Jesus to be above humans in a divine sense, but not one and the same with God. **

By the way - you’re happy to suffer? Happy to live with the knowledge that you are even MAYBE guilty of Our Lord’s sacred Body and Blood? Funny attitude for anyone who claims to have any sort of relationship with Him.

**I just don’t think that I will suffer because of this. If I suffer because of this, and God is punishes me, I will accept the punishment over hurting my mother on the day of her mother’s funeral. I will gladly take any punishment that God dishes out for me to keep my mother from suffering. If that doesn’t exemplify “love your neighbor as yourself,” I don’t know what would. As for my relationship with God, I don’t view it through the church. My relationship is very personal and I feel he has blessed me with the Spirit. I do not need to go to church to express my love for God. **

The main question, of course, is what happens to those who do NOT repent. THEIR guilt against Our Lord’s Body and Blood certainly isn’t wiped clean by their earthly sufferings if they remain unrepentant. For we all suffer on earth, and yet some of us still have more suffering to do in the hereafter in atonement for our sins. It doesn’t work the way you seem to think it does.

**Well, this certainly isn’t Paul’s understanding. According to Paul, we have died to sin and been baptized in Jesus Christ. As long as we believe, we will be righteous before God. Paul even states in Romans that Jewish rituals of repentance do not work, so why would rituals of repentance made up after Paul work better? Our repentance comes in our belief in Jesus, and even this is a bit ambiguous, because Paul himself did not believe that Jesus was one and the same with God. **

As long as they are unrepentant they will remain condemned (as Paul says, they have eaten and drunk condemnation upon themselves) - and if they die unrepentant their guilt will remain upon their souls and they will be condemned in the hereafter.

**Paul definitely doesn’t mention the sacrament of confession, I can tell you that much. Paul’s repentance is in belief in Jesus. **

Of course you still haven’t addressed other equally important issues where there’s no such leeway -

a) your sin of fornication - clearly and explicitly condemned in scripture as gravely sinful - ‘fornicators will not inherit the Kingdom of God’ is but one example. Premarital sex is explicitly included in scripture among condemned sexual behaviour, and has since earliest days of the Church always been understood to fall under the category of ‘fornication’.

**Can you find me a passage from Jesus about premarital sex? **

b) your profession, by the act of receiving communion, that you are in fact in communion with the Church, meaning you accept its teachings. Why would you want to profess such things if you are in fact NOT in communion with the Church and DON’T accept its teachings? Do you think God doesn’t care that you’re professing communion with the Catholic church when in fact you aren’t?

**I don’t accept the Chruch’s teachings on a lot of things. I don’t believe everything that is professed in the Nicene Creed. But I will continue to receive communion in front of my mother as to not stress her out. I will take any punishment that comes to me because of it too. I would rather be punished than punish my mother. **

As I said, it’s like me as an Aussie pledging allegiance to the American flag and hence to the US.

Wrong on SO many different levels!

Insulting to Americans, insulting to Australians, a lie as I don’t truly HAVE any sense of allegiance to the US flag or the US, deceptive, as those around me will assume I am American.

My answers in bold.

 

[RainDown]

I was a Catholic, and I left. It was hard to tell my family, and we were also very involved with our church at the time, and my mom was embarrassed because people would see my not take communion. However, I stuck to my guns, because I felt it was disrespectful to put on a front. I still occasionally go to Church, and people do say things behind my back about the fact that I no longer receive communion, but I refuse to be disrespectful to the sacrament, because it was important to a lot of people.

I honestly think that’s nice to hear. I hate the thought that the Eucharist is being received in a state of mortal sin and those who simply do not believe what the Church teaches on the matter.

When you don’t receive the Sacrament, as far as others know, you just had a sandwich before Mass. It is not right for them to speculate and judge.

 

[hellopeople]

If you’ve stopped being Catholic in any meaningful sense why are you worried about the morality of receiving the Eucharist in the state of mortal sin?

I’m not to be honest. I was just wondering the church stance on it. Maybe there was some sort of loophole if it would be seriously offensive to someone.

 

[LilyM]

If you’ve stopped being Catholic in any meaningful sense why are you worried about the morality of receiving the Eucharist in the state of mortal sin?

Got to say, brother, it does rather seem that you’ve well and truly made up your mind on this issue already, well before you came here, and aren’t seriously prepared to consider the possibility that you might be wrong.

A bit dishonest framing your original post as a question, isn’t it, when, apparently, there’s no question at all in your mind, and all you are really here to achieve is to tell us that wer’re wrong and you’re right?

 

[hellopeople]

It appears he didn’t even come on the forum with a genuine question or concern for which he was honestly seeking outside (name removed by moderator)ut.

Rather, it seems, he is here to tell us that he has already made up his mind that what he’s doing is fine. Already made up his mind that Church teaching about communion, as on any other point on which he disagrees with it, is just wrong.

He’s here to preach his point of view to us, in other words. To tell us that we’re wrong and he’s right. That there’s no possibility of the opposite being the case.

The opposite? That you are right and that I am wrong? You are right, I did not come here to tell you that. You should rebut what I have written in your quote though.

 

[dusza]

I am baptized and confirmed Catholic. I am 23 now, and stopped going to church a long time ago. I masturbate and use condoms with my wife on a regular basis. I am under the impression that I shouldn’t receive communion if I have not gone to confession and had these sins resolved. But I haven’t gone to confession in over 2 years (and the last time I did I mentioned that I was having sex with my wife (who was only my girlfriend at the time) and that I wasn’t really sorry for it because I didn’t think there was anything morally wrong with it).

Anyway, I don’t refrain from receiving communion when I do end up in church. My grandmother’s funeral was yesterday and I received communion without even thinking about it. If my mother, aunts, and uncles saw that I did not receive communion they would think that to be a huge sign of disrespect and it would probably weigh on her heart on the day her mother was being buried. Should I have not gotten communion because, according to the church, I am not fit for it? Or, should I have received communion, as I did, so as not to add any extra stress to my mother and my family?

Others have already spoken about not going to communion in that state, so I will only add that to be absolved of your sins in the confessional, you need to be repentent of the sin and have a firm purpose of amendment. In other words, if you don’t believe you’re doing anything wrong despite the church’s teaching, your confession is as invalid as your communion was sacrilegious. I assume the priest would have told you that in your last confession.

Would your relatives be mad if after abstaining from communion you explained that it’s because you didn’t go to confession? Safe full repentance, I think that would have been the most righteous route to take.

 

[hellopeople]

Others have already spoken about not going to communion in that state, so I will only add that to be absolved of your sins in the confessional, you need to be repentent of the sin and have a firm purpose of amendment. In other words, if you don’t believe you’re doing anything wrong despite the church’s teaching, your confession is as invalid as your communion was sacrilegious. I assume the priest would have told you that in your last confession.

Would your relatives be mad if after abstaining from communion you explained that it’s because you didn’t go to confession? Safe full repentance, I think that would have been the most righteous route to take.

To be honest I went to a Catholic grammar school and high school and I do not ever remember being told that you cannot receive communion if you are in a state of sin. I am pretty sure that not going to confession would not be a good reason in my mother’s eyes to not receive communion.

 

[Eris_Discordia]

I honestly think that’s nice to hear. I hate the thought that the Eucharist is being received in a state of mortal sin and those who simply do not believe what the Church teaches on the matter.

When you don’t receive the Sacrament, as far as others know, you just had a sandwich before Mass. It is not right for them to speculate and judge.

Thanks. My mom has gotten a lot of underhanded comments from people who see that I don’t receive communion. I really dislike it. I think it’s unfair to judge her on MY actions. Just because I’m her daughter doesn’t mean they should say things about my upbringing when I am an adult. Also, it should say that she taught me how to be respectful. I wouldn’t want to take the easy way out and be disrespectful just to keep up appearances.

 

[hellopeople]

Thanks. My mom has gotten a lot of underhanded comments from people who see that I don’t receive communion. I really dislike it. I think it’s unfair to judge her on MY actions. Just because I’m her daughter doesn’t mean they should say things about my upbringing when I am an adult. Also, it should say that she taught me how to be respectful. I wouldn’t want to take the easy way out and be disrespectful just to keep up appearances.

lol, what great Catholics these people must be to judge you and your mother.