If I understand your position correctly you are saying two things. First, you are saying that if a man and woman share the same dwelling with no intent, at the outset, of establishing a relationship, over time they will establish one, and that will include a sexual aspect.
I do not say they will necessarily happen. But even it is a very real possibility. And there are other issues of modesty and over-familarity too. And even other possible sins outside a relationship as others have noted. Or even sins of thought.
Second, you are saying that even if they co-habit without being in a relationship, sexual or otherwise, others will believe they are in a sexual relationship. This will cause scandal to the community. They, the co-habiting persons, have a responsibility to not cause such scandal.
Correct. Such scandal is very likely.
I agree with you to a certain point. It is within human nature for men and women to be attracted to each other. There is always the possibility that if a man and a woman co-habit in the same dwelling they may end up as a couple. However, I do not believe that this is always going to happen. Even if they do end up in a relationship are we to automatically judge that they have mo morals and they will engage in a pre-marital sexual relationship?
The point I am making is that I do not think we as a community should have such a default low opinion of our brethren to arrive a such a conclusion. Equally, I am not sure that it is the responsibility of a co-habiting couple to prevent scandal. Scandal should be avoid by the community not making a rash judgement without the evidence to support their beliefs.
Again. It is not about us judging that they are in a sexual relationship. It is the effect of their actions on those around them. It is somewhat reasonable in this day and age to assume such (not saying we should…but that it will happen). Yes there is the moral principle of avoiding “rash judgment” But this is not about THAT moral principle. But the moral principle of avoiding such scandal and avoiding near occasions of sin.
I am speaking of our *responsibility to avoid such scandal. *
And for that matter I think simply living as a Christian. On the norm I do not think such is really a way for Christians to be choosing to live. We are to live differently than those around us. Just as the early Christians did.
(though one could argue that a unrelated guy and girl living together being presumed to be engaging in what such couples do these days who live together…may not be so rash of a judgment…for there is the evidence of their living together…but I am not saying one should make such a judgment …and yes we need to presume the best)
It also seems that this only applies to people of the opposite sex. If several males share a dwelling then by the same irrational arguments the community should come to the conclusion that these males are participating in homosexual orgies. That sounds ridiculous and it is. Making the same rash judgement about anyone based on gossip or uncharitable thoughts is ridiculous too.
Such is not what would normally be presumed. One can read the various works of moral theology and find that there is yes a very real responsibility to avoid scandal (as the Bishops pointed out in that document). But there are cases where it can be beyond reason to be concerned with such (this is not one of them).
A woman decides to wear extremely immodest clothing. She says --“hey they should control their thoughts. I just like wearing this”.
Well yes they should control their thoughts. But she has a responsibility to not dress so immodestly.
Another woman wears reasonably modest clothing that is though attractive. She is not behaving in any immodest way and has dressed particularly modestly though she is still attractive. She has done her part. The guys need to do theirs.
A man and a woman share an apartment who are not married. Such can be a very real cause of scandal of various kinds.
A man and woman go out to dinner. Some people make the rash judgment that they are sleeping together. It is not their responsibility to not go out to dinner.
I am saying that really a man and a woman sharing an apartment (flat if you like) is simply one of those living arrangements that we ought not choose as Christians and is a real source of scandal and near occasions of sin.
And again I am not discussing our responsibility to avoid rash judgment. Yes such is our responsibility. But here we are discussing* our* responsibility to avoid scandal. And aside from the scandal to the Christian community who yes on their part should not judge rashly…many who are going see such a living arrangement are not going to be Christian or at least not living as such. We need to also be lights set on a hill.
Readers can also read my other post above…it gives a summary of things.
