We really want to put emphasis and love into the wedding itself and have the reception as a nice gesture to accompany it, but we really don’t wish to have a big reception. And it all stemmed from the hurtful things they said. They even said that the church would not look nice enough without decorations. I mean, really? I know they meant well, but they really broke our hearts. So I really would like to apologize, taking it out on you guys didn’t make my words any less hurtful or right to do.
I’m really glad that you both have decided to have something for your guests- I think it’s the right thing to do. Also, getting engaged and planning a wedding are both very stressful, even though they are good things, so go easy on yourself
As for the opinions about what the church will look like, first, your relatives will live if it’s not overflowing with flowers, and secondly, I’d recommend getting married during the Christmas season if you really care. I did, and the Church was gorgeous and we didn’t pay a dime for the decorations. There were Christmas trees, poinsettias, and of course the nativity.
Overall though, it sounds like you have a lot of people sticking their noses where they don’t belong. Some people who do this mean well, some are just nosy, and some really like to stir things up. The best thing you can do is limit what details you give these people, and learn to repeat “that is what we are doing” over and over. You will get people commenting about the guest list, your choice of a wedding date, you name it, you will hear about it. And then when you get married these same people will ask you a week later when you’re going to have kids. And when you have kids they’ll have an opinion about everything you do then as well. I don’t say all this to scare you away from having a reception, but rather because the busybodies will always be around, and it will save you a lot of grief and bring you peace if you can learn to deal with them now by setting boundaries.
Also- I understand not wanting to have a big reception. I didn’t want one either, and we kept ours rather small and informal. We had a morning wedding, followed by a nice afternoon meal. My husband and I both dislike a lot of attention, so we didn’t have dancing or a bouquet toss and it was still a really nice time. Of course we got comments, but we decided that although we wanted show our gratitude to them for coming, we did not need to make our reception into something we didn’t want. Overall, we enjoyed ourselves and I think most people had a nice time eating and socializing. It wasn’t the most exciting wedding of the century, but it was still nice and it was comfortable for us. And- since we had our wedding in the morning and our reception in the afternoon, everyone was gone by about 4-5pm and we had the whole rest of the night to ourselves.
Don’t worry about your reception not being “good enough”. As long as you provide a space for people to gather and some kind of refreshments, you only need to concern yourselves with what’s good enough for you.
I’m glad you seem to be working it out, and hope you’re able to plan something nice while ignoring unsolicited comments and advice.
