Reconciling darkness of mental illness with faith

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DBRANDT

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I am an ordinary person of faith. I have suffered debilitating mental illness all my life which has aided in essentially the destruction of all personal relationships I ever knew. Reconciling the black frame of mind with my faith and suffering has been a huge challenge, one minute at a time. At times I have been unable to bear even being in God’s presence. Can you please direct me to some helps? I have been in treatment my entire life. I am 64 years old and in otherwise excellent health.
 
I’m not sure what you’re asking for since you’re already receiving treatment.
 
You are an inspiration of courage and faith in difficult, and often extreme circumstances, when you are hanging on by your fingernails
Many leave God for less cause.
You are a balm for the torn heart of Jesus, from whom many turn with little reason.

God bless you. may the Lord carry you in His Heart always, when the light glimmers in your life, and also when you only see darkness.
 
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When you say you’re in treatment I assume that means a mental health professional. I would also recommend a spiritual director. I have suffered with depression and anxiety most of my adult life (and probably also as a teen, but we didn’t know what to call it). Seeking out and receiving spiritual direction has been incredibly helpful for me.

God bless you
 
O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell; lead all souls to heaven, especially those in most need of Thy mercy. Amen.
 
From a spiritual standpoint, if you wish to offer your struggles and sufferings to Christ through Mary, there is a group specifically for this in the Mission of the Immaculate: Knights at the Foot of the Cross

Otherwise just be patient and try to remember God loves you very much, no matter what, and wants you in heaven. Stay close to God and to the Church as much as possible. Christ knows what you are going through.

If you struggle with the sacraments, maybe discuss it with your parish priest. Explain the situation. It may come in handy later if your struggles worsen. He’ll know what’s going on and may be more helpful.
 
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Please understand that your mental health issues don’t make you “less-than” and also understand that God isn’t “mad at” you.
Some health problems are healed in this life and some aren’t. If you’re walking with Jesus to the best of your ability, maintaining a prayer life, avoiding sin and receiving the sacraments, then be st peace.

At the same time, your diagnosis presents particular challenges that you would do well to have a spiritual director or a therapist with a Christian worldview to help you navigate.

You mention problems with relationships because of your diagnosis and the way it manifests.
Becuae none of us are there to see what happened, or who “started it”, or how the dynamics played out, we’RE really at a loss to give advice.
Often there is “fault” on both sides.
Maybe family therapy?

I’ll remember you in my prayers ❤️:pray:t2:
 
I to suffer and have done for over 35 years.

I don’t think we ever really can control that side of us. No matter how many pills we may take to ease the pain. Just like a person can’t control not having limb.

All we can do is try our best to cope.

Regarding Faith in the Lord , that’s a very positive out look. I try to remind myself of many blessings in life. There is always someone worse off so to speak.

Everything will come to pass and that is a fact my friend. Everything including the ones we love and our own lives.

Don’t surrender, never give in to this world I tell myself in those dark moments.

You are never alone my friend.
 
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Thank you for your advice. I have had a priest or deacon as spiritual directors all my life. I was kind of looking for reading materials or devotions…
 
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You just made my day. I thank God every day for my brethren both in the Church and without.
 
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Thank you for that. I just mentioned in another post, in spiritual direction all my life, kinda searching for reading materials or devotions. I am also sober 33 years…
 
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I want to elaborate a little, for the sake of others, on how I handle my affliction day to day.
When I arise, as soon as I am conscious, I pray, “Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou O Prince of the heavenly hosts, by the power of God, cast into hell Satan and all evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.”
Then I get up and spend some time in prayer, meditation and examination of conscience. I also meditate on issues related to recovery. I am 33 years sober. Mass, the Sacraments, spiritual direction are absolutes and I could not live without them. Most precious to me are the hours adoring Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament of the altar.
Every morning I look at myself in the mirror and say, “Not today. Satan will not sift me today. I will not take my own life today. Jesus needs my witness every day, no matter how meek I may feel, so that others may live in the amazement of Christ’s kingdom.”
I go out in nature and witness the miracles of God’s mercies.
I ride my motorcycle and join the Holy Spirit in the wind.
I exercise and get plenty of fresh air and try to eat right and take care of this mortal body as best I can.
I read about the saints and their sufferings and glory nearly every day. The Little Flower is my favorite. She is far more profound than at first glance. I can recommend some excellent books about her Little Way.
I attend an AA meeting or study group.
I sew, crochet, embroider or read.
These are just some of the many things I do…and I hope they help others. God bless.
 
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DBRANDT said:
I am 64 years old and in otherwise excellent health
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I’m 62 and can say your post is pretty much a mirror image of my own struggles. Although I am considered recovered and managing very well, the years I have spent coping with mental illness have left me with a very depressive and fatalistic view of the human experience. Medication helps a lot but is not, by itself, the final answer. At the same time I have found this illness be a source for wishing to be of help to others, as my health care people call me their model student.

I recommend the books of Dr. Claire Weeks, who passed away some years ago. Her books were my life raft and I read them constantly when in my worst states. The best of them, from my point of view, is titled Peace from Nervous Suffering but all of her books are available on Amazon. 🙂
 
Do you watch Bishop Barron’s youtube videos? One thing he mentioned was “the Jesus prayer”, which I’ve come to find provides comfort and encouragement and insight, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

fwiw, and peace to you.
 
The only devotion I can think of to suggest to you (if you’re not already doing it) is to cultivate the habit of offering up your sufferings. I suffer from Tourette’s Syndrome, depression, and severe anxiety. I also suffer from neuropathy which makes it impossible for me to sit or stand for more than a few minutes. Most of the day I am lying down. My life is very frustrating. I also don’t sleep well. The only thing I have besides my family is my faith in God and in particular the belief that my sufferings are helping my soul and the souls of others. I do a lot of intercessory prayer for the conversion of souls. I have been collecting quotes over the years that help to solidify this Catholic belief in my mind and soul. Here are a few of them that might help you:

“If the angels were capable of envy, they would envy us for two things: one is the receiving of Holy Communion and the other is suffering…You will save more souls through prayer and suffering then will a missionary through his teachings and sermons alone.” St. Faustina

“Patient suffering is the most enviable state of man.” Blessed Anne Catherine Emmerich

“If God allows you to suffer much, it is a sign that He has great designs for you and that He certainly intends to make you a saint.” St. Ignatius Loyola

“From the vantage point of eternity, even the most miserable life on earth will seem like only one night in a lousy hotel.” St. Teresa of Avila

God Bless you!
 
(YOU SAY by Lauren Daigle)


[Verse 1]
I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know

[Chorus]
[You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, You say I am Yours
And I believe, I believe
What You say of me

[Verse 2]

The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
[In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity

[Chorus]
[You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, You say I am Yours
And I believe, I believe
What You say of me
I believe

[Bridge]
Taking all I have and now I’m laying it at Your feet
You have every failure, God
You’ll have every victory

[Chorus]
[You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, You say I am Yours
And I believe, I believe
What You say of me

I believe

(YOU SAY by Lauren Daigle)
 
Dear DBRANT. I can relate. I have found constant prayer to the Holy Spirit, practising forgiveness and prayer for all who have hurt me, and the writings of Fr Jacques Philippe, most helpful. Try and get help from an experienced Catholic counselor to uncover the roots of your moods - it is often trauma in childhood for which we carry inarticulate resentment and even hatred and fear, into our adult lives. You can do a lot to improve your mental health. Ask the Holy Family to adopt you and take care of you as though you were an abandoned child. We are each in this position, in reality. Miracles can occur. I’m older than you, but my real spiritual life began when I discovered the spirituality of Opus Dei. God Bless you. I will pray for you.
 
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God bless you for your faithfullness.
I love Roman Guardini’s books “The virtues that lead you to God” and his classic “The Lord”. He is a great writer for the anxious person who is beset by weaknesses and regrets. Guardini also struggled with depression and speaks in a way that brings peace.

There are many devotions, so many it can be bewildering. For the suffering person a good imagination is a help. By imaging we can place ourselves at the foot of the cross and participate with Christ by “offering it up” with him.

I try to remember God does not have a heart for the powerful and perfect who have no need for mercy. He has a heart for those who know they are broken and desperately need God. (that’s really everyone, if you look at yourself in proper perspective).

I also love Henri Nouwen. This is the first part of a great video series, the others are easily watchable:

 
may have this totally wrong, but it sounds as if there may be things in your life that require the healing power of forgiveness.

Prayers and blessings,
Eric

The Lord no doubt revealed this to you, for I am resentful and full of anger for perceived wrongs against me which in most instances arose directly from mental illness, that is, unacceptable words, actions and behaviors. I felt family and friends should understand I’m ill, cut me some slack, love me in spite. At this season of my life, I have begun to authentically let it all go to God, but readings, devotions, on point would help most because I’m picking at the scabs.
 
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