Reconciling Feeling God in Mass but Not Outside of Mass

[takers]

Is anyone else out there that feels the way I do? How are they attempting to resolve these feelings?

I was raised Catholic, my husband was not. In an attempt to try to start going to church more regularly I agreed to try out a non-denominational church. After a few Sunday services I’m come to the realization that, while I’m still working through my faith, I really enjoy liturgical calendar style of worship. I missed the Advent season of mass. I missed the reverance one had upon walking into worship (as opposed to seeing band equipment and projector screens). I also missed the traditional style hymns instead of rock-like worship music. So I’m finding that I enjoy the style and cadence of mass.

My ‘problem’ is that outside of mass I don’t always feel God in the Catholic opportunities our parish has. I’m a stay at home mom of a young child. There are no young mom groups or bible studies that provide child care so that I can participate. Kid get togethers focus on school aged children. It’s almost like the focus is so much on Sunday worship and CCD that there’s no thought of anything else. In the non-denominational (ND) church we went to there’s a great women’s bible study and a Mothers of Pre-Schoolers group; both of which provide child care. These women are full of faith, fun to be around, inspire me to try to get to know God better, and don’t mind a whit that I’m Catholic. When providing bible quotes they even include the Catholic version of the quote (something which I figured would never happen). There are also a multitide of men’s bible studies, retreats, speakers, gatherings, etc.

So how do you reconcile feeling torn between the two? Wanting the reference of the mass but also the community feeling of the ND church?

 

[PermanentMarker]

As long as you are solidly grounded in your Catholic faith, I think it is great to join in on the non-Catholic social activities you may find at other communities. You may even be a Catholic witness for them.

But yeah, I understand what you mean by the lack of activities outside of Mass. Not every parish suffers from that problem, though.

 

[grasscutter]

I totally understand! In spite of the fact that they also worship Our Lord Jesus Christ, I am only able to feel close to God in a Catholic Mass. However, I’m still glad that people in other denominations are worshiping God and doing their best to live out his Law.

 

[po18guy]

Although it may not solve the lack of community feeling that you have (or it just might), please consider spending a holy hour before our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. That is the worship of Christ outside of the mass, and will help lend a feeling of His presence outside of the mass and outside of the sanctuary. As well, prayer before our Lord tends to being many solutions into our lives - oftentimes in surprising ways.

In my diocese, they have a MOPS program (Mothers Of Pre-Schoolers) program for just such a purpose. Check with your diocese and see if they offer that, or a similar program. Maybe start one, since you are not alone in your thoughts.

 

[Corki]

Is anyone else out there that feels the way I do? How are they attempting to resolve these feelings?

I was raised Catholic, my husband was not. In an attempt to try to start going to church more regularly I agreed to try out a non-denominational church. After a few Sunday services I’m come to the realization that, while I’m still working through my faith, I really enjoy liturgical calendar style of worship. I missed the Advent season of mass. I missed the reverance one had upon walking into worship (as opposed to seeing band equipment and projector screens). I also missed the traditional style hymns instead of rock-like worship music. So I’m finding that I enjoy the style and cadence of mass.

My ‘problem’ is that outside of mass I don’t always feel God in the Catholic opportunities our parish has. I’m a stay at home mom of a young child. There are no young mom groups or bible studies that provide child care so that I can participate. Kid get togethers focus on school aged children. It’s almost like the focus is so much on Sunday worship and CCD that there’s no thought of anything else. In the non-denominational (ND) church we went to there’s a great women’s bible study and a Mothers of Pre-Schoolers group; both of which provide child care. These women are full of faith, fun to be around, inspire me to try to get to know God better, and don’t mind a whit that I’m Catholic. When providing bible quotes they even include the Catholic version of the quote (something which I figured would never happen). There are also a multitide of men’s bible studies, retreats, speakers, gatherings, etc.

So how do you reconcile feeling torn between the two? Wanting the reference of the mass but also the community feeling of the ND church?

You volunteer and start something. I felt much the same way you do. I got permission to start a women’s Bible study. One of the women from the Bible study used the fellowship as a springboard to organize a group of women with kids to take on service projects. And as soon as your child is old enough to not need constant attention, volunteer for CCE. The friendships and learning opportunities can’t be beat.

 

[takers]

Thanks everyone for letting me know I’m not alone. Most of my Catholic friends either A) attend a parish is too far away for us to attend but has the desired outside of mass activities or B) do not desire to attend outside of mass activities so this sometimes makes me feel like I am a lone fish in the sea. I appreciate knowing that this isn’t the case.

At this point in my journey I’m not able to volunteer to start up any groups at my parish, but I will keep this in mind as our family grows up.

 

[po18guy]

Thanks everyone for letting me know I’m not alone. Most of my Catholic friends either A) attend a parish is too far away for us to attend but has the desired outside of mass activities or B) do not desire to attend outside of mass activities so this sometimes makes me feel like I am a lone fish in the sea. I appreciate knowing that this isn’t the case.

At this point in my journey I’m not able to volunteer to start up any groups at my parish, but I will keep this in mind as our family grows up.

You could learn Spanish.

 

[englishredrose]

I have recently struggled and tried hard on my own. When Serving it was easy to hang onto the practicalities of Serving and when singing I get drawn into the music. But at home it was so all very different. But it was affecting me in church. I had been there before where I had just walked away because I didn’t know though still joined in the sidelines of churchy related stuff.

This time I thankfully recognised the pattern and had about 3 month of trying I finally gave in and rang the priest. I have a very private form of communication with him anyway. But it still took that effort of asking to talk to him about God.

We spent an hour out in the cemetary (believe it or not) and he did most of the talking which was fine by me. I tried hard not to hope that I would feel better nearly so instantly but I did. On the way out of the cemetary I ungrammatically correct declared to him ‘that was good that’. I walked into the cemetary feeling empty and er yes, dead. but came out of the cemetary feeling very alive and renewed. I think the cemetary was totally unplanned because there was someone unexpectedly in church fitting the carpets and I was greatful for his insight of meeting me at the door and giving me an alternative option, because I would have felt too conscious. Though amazingly busy in the cemetary but we were left well alone with nodds of acknowledgement- though must have looked odd to the regular visitors to the cemetary that morning. (It was a glorious summer day last week it was on that day and God was there.)

I do encourage you to ask time with your priest to talk it through and listen to him. It not 100% perfect though I did have one whole week of being totally 100% at peace with God. It has settled down to a comfortable position as such and I just have to remember what he said to me about not being empty.

 

[Corki]

At this point in my journey I’m not able to volunteer to start up any groups at my parish, but I will keep this in mind as our family grows up.

Please do. As someone who works in several parish projects, it is very frustrating to hear people lament the lack of this or that. The parish wants there to be more activities, believe me. But when it comes to getting someone to start or organize something new, everyone disappears.