Refusal to attend Confession, yet still receiving Eucharist?

[Luvtosew]

Thank you so much for this reply. You demonstrate exactly why Christ,* right at the beginning,* gave Peter the authority of the keys of the kingdom. Otherwise so many ideas of what is supposed to be come up and make confusion. There was no confusion for centuries. All believed the same.

By your post, you have created the opportunity for us to show the importance of confession. Thank you and God bless you on your journey.

Well that is all debatable about the keys and Peter, but your welcome also.

Matt 6: 14-15 is what bind and loose mean and we should all live my Matt 7:2.

No confusion for centuries, well no one had the Bible but the church.

 

[bmaj]

Someone can definitely give you specific documents but it does not sound like your husband is interested. At this point I think all you can do is pray for him and do your best to live a good life. We are required to do our best to get our spouse into heaven and it sounds like you are trying. I don’t remember where I read it but the good deeds of a spouse can help in the salvation of one who does not believe.

Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut, onceablasphemer. You’re right - he’s definitely not interested. I keep thinking about leading a horse to water but being unable to make him drink… I will keep praying for him.
God bless.

 

[bmaj]

You must also bear in mind that confession is only obligatory for those conscious of mortal sin (see Canon Law 989).

Confession of venial sin is highly recommended, but is not obligatory.

Thanks for that important insight, Paperwight. Is there also a stipulation that one should go to Confession at least once per year, regardless of types of sins committed? I’m not sure if that’s just a recommendation also.

God bless.

 

[bmaj]

I’m in the same position, except that my husband doesn’t believe in mortal sin. So I guess he also doesn’t believe that receiving the Body of Christ unworthily will harm him in any way. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even believe in the Real Presence but yet he continues to receive. All I can do is pray for God’s mercy for him. Sometimes I wish he weren’t a baptized Catholic so God would look on him as being ignorant, but he doesn’t have that excuse.

Don’t get into arguments about this. If you can gather resources for a time when the Holy Spirit whispers to him, that might be helpful. My husband told me outright during one of our tense discussions, that I am not responsible for his salvation. He’s right but I would give anything if he would return to his faith. I just have to pray. My spiritual loneliness is what prompted me to find this on-line community.

I can relate to what you’re going through so much, TRJ. Thanks for sharing the difficulties you’re experiencing with your husband also. Interesting that one of the things mine told me was similar to what yours had told you - to essentially let him worry about his own salvation and not argue with him about it. So, the arguing days seem to be over here because I couldn’t take it anymore, but I like what you say about having resources available for a time when the Holy Spirit might whisper to him. I also continue to pray for this, and I will keep you and your husband in my prayers as well. I’m so thankful for this CAF community and folks like you for all of your (name removed by moderator)ut and assistance.

May God bless you always. Peace!

 

[bmaj]

In the article “Who Can Receive Communion?”, see the section What must a Catholic do to receive communion and why?, which describes the importance of receiving communion in a state of grace, with references to the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

A Scripture passage commonly referred to is 1 Corinthians 11:27-28: “Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a man examine himself, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup."

Excellent link. Thanks, daisybee. I appreciate it.
God bless!

 

[bstorm]

You must also bear in mind that confession is only obligatory for those conscious of mortal sin (see Canon Law 989).

Confession of venial sin is highly recommended, but is not obligatory.

What you have posted is true, but somewhat misleading. Every catholic is obligated (under the pain of mortal sin) to receive the sacrament of reconciliation at the very least once a year. This is part of the so called Seven Precepts of the Church. You can find this in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Also, see here: ewtn.com/vexperts/showmessage.asp?number=519874&Pg=&Pgnu=&recnu=
Or just google “seven precepts of the church”.

 

[paperwight66]

What you have posted is true, but somewhat misleading. Every catholic is obligated (under the pain of mortal sin) to receive the sacrament of reconciliation at the very least once a year. This is part of the so called Seven Precepts of the Church. You can find this in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Also, see here: ewtn.com/vexperts/showmessage.asp?number=519874&Pg=&Pgnu=&recnu=
Or just google “seven precepts of the church”.

I’'m sorry to say it is you who are misleading.

Catechism of the Catholic Church:

1457 According to the Church’s command, "after having attained the age of discretion, each of the faithful is bound by an obligation faithfully to confess serious sins at least once a year."56 Anyone who is aware of having committed a mortal sin must not receive Holy Communion, even if he experiences deep contrition, without having first received sacramental absolution, unless he has a grave reason for receiving Communion and there is no possibility of going to confession.

As I said, the Church requires confession at least once a year of serious (aka grave, mortal) sins. The church does not require confession of non-serious sins once a year. Confession once a year is not a blanket requirement. It is wrong to say that every Catholic is bound to confess every year under pain of mortal sin.

If you have been taught that, please ask the person responsible for a link to the appropriate official church document (not some local catechism or church bulletin).

 

[metan]

All I can say , don’t carry the load,heavy or light, big or small, go to confession and reconcile with our Lord Jesus , you will receive million of graces from Him.

 

[bmaj]

Of course he should be going to confession!
However, as you can see, he’s digging in his heals and you aren’t budging him. His heart is hardened. Pray for him every day (I’m sure you are!) and offer small sacrifices to God that his heart gets changed. His heart and many other Catholics! May they discover what a great and wonderful gift it is, to be able to talk to another human being (who cannot disclose anything about your confession, or that you even went! Friends and neighbors aren’t so kind!), to have access to graces to battle the sins that hold us down. To have kind words spoken, and good advice. Someone who knows what a struggle it is in daily living. It’s a wonderful gift, and we should be thankful for it!

Don’t fight over this but love him to the best of your ability and offer the ache in your heart to God as a sacrifice of love.

God can bring another *man *into his life who will be able to show him the benefits to going to confession. Someone who’s integrity and love will make an impression on him. Sometimes man to man is more effective!

I love what you’ve written, Penny! Thanks so much for the wonderful advice. God’s time frames are so different than ours, but I know He’s working on it!
God’s blessings to you.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I can relate to what you’re going through so much, TRJ. Thanks for sharing the difficulties you’re experiencing with your husband also. Interesting that one of the things mine told me was similar to what yours had told you - to essentially let him worry about his own salvation and not argue with him about it. So, the arguing days seem to be over here because I couldn’t take it anymore, but I like what you say about having resources available for a time when the Holy Spirit might whisper to him. I also continue to pray for this, and I will keep you and your husband in my prayers as well. I’m so thankful for this CAF community and folks like you for all of your (name removed by moderator)ut and assistance.

May God bless you always. Peace!

Thank you, and my prayers will include you as well! I try so hard not to fixate on my husband’s soul’s condition. Of course it is difficult, as he is one of the 3 people I love the most in this world, and I want him to go to Heaven! In fact, I have taken to offering up whatever personal suffering I experience as a prayer for his return to faith in God. I am not good at suffering, I complain altogether too much about discomfort or inconvenience, but as I remember to do this, it makes the pain or whatever a little bit more bearable. I know a lot of Catholics who do this as a matter of course, but I was fallen away for over 20 years and only had 10 years as a Catholic before that. Thank God for my devout convert mother! May she rest in the arms of Jesus and may I see her again one happy day!

:hug3:

 

[TheRealJuliane]

God can bring another *man *into his life who will be able to show him the benefits to going to confession. Someone who’s integrity and love will make an impression on him. Sometimes man to man is more effective!

Thank you for this reminder! I sometimes forget to pray for this man who will help lead my husband back to his faith in Christ! My husband has had one man ask him to join “That Man is You” to no avail. Since DH doesn’t identify himself as being a Catholic man, that program would not fit with his current self-image. It’s strange because he has gone through the motions for 21 years, since I returned and since our sons were brought up as Catholics (as best I could, without their Dad’s help), yet inside, he can’t even say he believes in God, or the Trinity. He’s not an atheist, as I once feared, he does still believe in a “Higher Power,” just not necessarily God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

I worry so much about him receiving unworthily but then I have to turn it over to God to deal with. How could I tell him NOT to receive? And perhaps God is giving him graces through the Eucharist. After all, only God knows the condition of his heart.

 

[styrgwillidar]

…

No confusion for centuries, well no one had the Bible but the church.

…

Not sure where you are going with that comment. The early Church didn’t have a bible, they had the teachings of the apostles as handed down by both word of mouth and letter.

Note, those early Christians participated in auricular confession, it was the accepted practice throughout the Church. It was what was taught by the apostles.

As time passed the Church decided to collect those works which it deemed to be inspired into the canon of scripture. ~400 AD. The collected works were never intended to be a textbook or the sole repository of the faith or the teachings of the apostles. But from that point the Church had the Bible. But it supplemented the teachings and doctrine of the apostles, it did not replace, supercede, or become a catechism. Which is very clear when you see the number of different interpretations of scripture by the numerous christian denominations. A book can’t be the sole basis for a faith if it can’t even be reliably interpreted, if it is that unclear.
Since all Bibles were handwritten, painstakingly copied requiring a lot of labor they were very expensive. This led to many churches chaining them to the pulpit to ensure they would be available to the parishoners and more difficult to steal. (Kind of like the phone company used to chain phone books to the phone booths to ensure folks didn’t walk off with them and would be available to anyone needing to use the phone).

Now, you say your position is because something is or isn’t in the bible, or scripture- however, which version of the bible are you referring to. With or without the entirety of the septuagint? What is your authority for accepting either version as scripture? Do you rely on the apostles having faithfully handed on Christ’s teaching and the authority he gave them to establish a Church, forgive sins, that their decisions to bind/loose on earth would be bound/loosed in heaven? Or do you rely on Luther’s as your authority? And if you do- which pastor’s of which denominations individual interpretation of scripture that he’s passing on? Or do you believe there is no Church as such, but just each of our own individual interpretations with each of us guided separately by the Holy Spirit?

Which leads back to being OT for the OP. The apostles taught auricular confession, they taught the real presence and the necessity to be free of mortal sin in order to receive Christ. I would recommend having anyone with doubts about these matters to study the writings of the early christians, prior to the declaration of the canon of scripture. Faith of the Early Fathers, volume I edited and translated by Jurgens is a good place to start.

 

[bmaj]

John 20:21-23

"Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.”

Thanks, Victor… I keep remembering that one, too! God bless.

 

[bmaj]

Well, it comes down to respecting the authority Christ gave the Church. Remember, one of the things He bestowed on the Church was the authority to forgive sins. Yes, one can pray to God for forgiveness, but auricular confession provides certainty.

John, chapter 20, 19-23

19 In the evening of that same day, the first day of the week, the doors were closed in the room where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews. Jesus came and stood among them. He said to them, ‘Peace be with you,’ and, after saying this, he showed them his hands and his side. The disciples were filled with joy at seeing the Lord, and he said to them again, 'Peace be with you. ‘As the Father sent me, so am I sending you.’

After saying this he breathed on them and said: Receive the Holy Spirit.

If you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven; if you retain anyone’s sins, they are retained.

Note that the apostles taught this, the earliest Christians followed this teaching, and as so many things- it pre-dates the declaration of the canon of scripture.

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut, s. It sure does pre-date a lot, and it holds important significance. God bless.

 

[Luvtosew]

Not sure where you are going with that comment. The early Church didn’t have a bible, they had the teachings of the apostles as handed down by both word of mouth and letter.

Note, those early Christians participated in auricular confession, it was the accepted practice throughout the Church. It was what was taught by the apostles.

As time passed the Church decided to collect those works which it deemed to be inspired into the canon of scripture. ~400 AD. The collected works were never intended to be a textbook or the sole repository of the faith or the teachings of the apostles. But from that point the Church had the Bible. But it supplemented the teachings and doctrine of the apostles, it did not replace, supercede, or become a catechism. Which is very clear when you see the number of different interpretations of scripture by the numerous christian denominations. A book can’t be the sole basis for a faith if it can’t even be reliably interpreted, if it is that unclear.
Since all Bibles were handwritten, painstakingly copied requiring a lot of labor they were very expensive. This led to many churches chaining them to the pulpit to ensure they would be available to the parishoners and more difficult to steal. (Kind of like the phone company used to chain phone books to the phone booths to ensure folks didn’t walk off with them and would be available to anyone needing to use the phone).

Now, you say your position is because something is or isn’t in the bible, or scripture- however, which version of the bible are you referring to. With or without the entirety of the septuagint? What is your authority for accepting either version as scripture? Do you rely on the apostles having faithfully handed on Christ’s teaching and the authority he gave them to establish a Church, forgive sins, that their decisions to bind/loose on earth would be bound/loosed in heaven? Or do you rely on Luther’s as your authority? And if you do- which pastor’s of which denominations individual interpretation of scripture that he’s passing on? Or do you believe there is no Church as such, but just each of our own individual interpretations with each of us guided separately by the Holy Spirit?

Which leads back to being OT for the OP. The apostles taught auricular confession, they taught the real presence and the necessity to be free of mortal sin in order to receive Christ. I would recommend having anyone with doubts about these matters to study the writings of the early christians, prior to the declaration of the canon of scripture. Faith of the Early Fathers, volume I edited and translated by Jurgens is a good place to start.

I have thank you, read them all, and don’t share the RC opinion. PS: I have the RC Bible, KJV and Niv, so its not a matter of which Bible one reads, I have the NAB , now if I had the DR that makes a huge difference.

No confusion for centuries , no your right, people did what they were taught, heck I even did what I was taught in CCC in the 50’s, never read the bible or started to till the early 90’s, and I don’t see auricle confession in it, but I’m not saying its a bad thing, for people who need spriitual advice or need to talk, but I see nothing that says a Church has the power to forgive sins.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

…my husband seems to be one of many “Cafeteria Catholics” who simply only follows those teachings of the Church which he “agrees with.” And he does not agree with going to Confession. He cites the “hypocrisy” of the Church (and some Priests) regarding sexual abuse cases as one of the reasons.

I can’t say this for sure about your husband, but I’ve experienced it with my own relatives. I believe that lack of use of the sacrament of confession is a symptom of a much bigger problem, which is a lack of faith altogether.

I have had discussions with a few different Catholic relatives about these types of things. They go in two ways. One way it goes is that I cite my sources really well, and I make a great case. But the person I’m speaking with doesn’t accept my sources. Who says the catechism must be believed? Who says the bible means what you think it means? Who says the Bible must be followed to a tee. I can give answer after answer, slowly moving back through the line of authority, until we get to the issue of whether or not there is such a thing as absolute truth, whether or not the statement “God is real” is absolutely true. It comes down to the fact that the person I’m arguing with admits (without being willing to use the term) to being agnostic. If you don’t believe in God, what good will arguing about the Cactechism do? That person is missing the foundation, which must be built before worrying about the roof.

The other way it goes is I make a good argument, but the person I am arguing with shuts down the conversation very quickly. This is a person who hasn’t thought as deeply about the issues and doesn’t have the ability to debate this topic. They are sure that they don’t want you to change your mind though, so they stop talking. This may be a result of agnosticism, or it may be that the person is choosing selfishness over figuring out right from wrong. That person, rather than hearing arguments, needs to have their heart touched, so that they CARE about the arguments.

Ultimately, when faith is lacking, you can be prepared to answer questions when they arise. But often it is a matter of the heart, or a matter of receiving faith as a gift from God, or having the grace to hear what they otherwise wouldn’t. Best thing to do is to live the best you can, to show love, the best you can, and to pray.

 

[bmaj]

What you have posted is true, but somewhat misleading. Every catholic is obligated (under the pain of mortal sin) to receive the sacrament of reconciliation at the very least once a year. This is part of the so called Seven Precepts of the Church. You can find this in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Also, see here: ewtn.com/vexperts/showmessage.asp?number=519874&Pg=&Pgnu=&recnu=
Or just google “seven precepts of the church”.

Thanks for that (name removed by moderator)ut, bstorm. Much appreciated. God bless.

 

[bmaj]

All I can say , don’t carry the load,heavy or light, big or small, go to confession and reconcile with our Lord Jesus , you will receive million of graces from Him.

Truer words were never spoken, metan! The graces are unending, for sure. Just so hard for some people to understand that.

Thanks, and God bless.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I can’t say this for sure about your husband, but I’ve experienced it with my own relatives. I believe that lack of use of the sacrament of confession is a symptom of a much bigger problem, which is a lack of faith altogether.

I have had discussions with a few different Catholic relatives about these types of things. They go in two ways. One way it goes is that I cite my sources really well, and I make a great case. But the person I’m speaking with doesn’t accept my sources. Who says the catechism must be believed? Who says the bible means what you think it means? Who says the Bible must be followed to a tee. I can give answer after answer, slowly moving back through the line of authority, until we get to the issue of whether or not there is such a thing as absolute truth, whether or not the statement “God is real” is absolutely true. It comes down to the fact that the person I’m arguing with admits (without being willing to use the term) to being agnostic. If you don’t believe in God, what good will arguing about the Cactechism do? That person is missing the foundation, which must be built before worrying about the roof.

The other way it goes is I make a good argument, but the person I am arguing with shuts down the conversation very quickly. This is a person who hasn’t thought as deeply about the issues and doesn’t have the ability to debate this topic. They are sure that they don’t want you to change your mind though, so they stop talking. This may be a result of agnosticism, or it may be that the person is choosing selfishness over figuring out right from wrong. That person, rather than hearing arguments, needs to have their heart touched, so that they CARE about the arguments.

Ultimately, when faith is lacking, you can be prepared to answer questions when they arise. But often it is a matter of the heart, or a matter of receiving faith as a gift from God, or having the grace to hear what they otherwise wouldn’t. Best thing to do is to live the best you can, to show love, the best you can, and to pray.

All of your post is great, but the first paragraph is where I find myself with my husband. His issues are with God and if there is a God. I have let go of that, and put a green scapular under his side of the bed, and I pray for him every day. If a Catholic doesn’t believe in the authority of the Church, he’s not going to care if he’s receiving the Holy Eucharist unworthily, because to him, it’s just a wafer.

 

[Cristiano]

What you have posted is true, but somewhat misleading. Every catholic is obligated (under the pain of mortal sin) to receive the sacrament of reconciliation at the very least once a year. This is part of the so called Seven Precepts of the Church. You can find this in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Also, see here: ewtn.com/vexperts/showmessage.asp?number=519874&Pg=&Pgnu=&recnu=
Or just google “seven precepts of the church”.

What he said is not misleading at all:

CCL Can. 989 After having reached the age of discretion, each member of the faithful is ob-liged to confess faithfully his or her grave sins at least once a year.

You are making a generalization, that is not described in the CCL. You also talk about seven precepts while the CCC talks about five.