Refusing penance at confession?

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Patrick_Joshua

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Can I refuse penance at confession and ask for something more harsher?
 
You may absolutely NOT refuse a penance even if you think it’s not severe enough. In fact, many saints were told by their confessors that they were to stop doing extra penances and mortifications. It might be a sign of not trusting enough in God’s Mercy which is really another form of pride. God Bless, Momfortune :signofcross:
 
It is Christ Who speaks the penance to you through the Priest. To refuse the penance may invalidate the confession. You always may perform additional penance, even ask for more, but always accept that which is given you. If it seems not enough, you are simply experiencing God’s mercy. Be thankful for it, and know that His mercy is enough for you. Neither doubt it nor judge it, simply complete it in thankfulness and reverence. Rather than experience difficulty with the penance, you should experience difficulty with your sins, which made the penance necessary.

Next confession, please ask your priest before he assigns a penance, rather than after.
 
Patrick_Joshua said:
Can I refuse penance at confession and ask for something more harsher?
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One can CERTAINLY ask for a different penance at that moment…but it is up to the Priest to give you a penance and you of course must intend to do it…

(you do not “refuse” but ask for another. Or you “accept this one” receive absolution and then ask him to change it …if you do not have time to get a word in at that moment)
 
Thanks for clearing this up for me!

I think I structured this question wrongly!:o

My original intention was to find out if I could change my penance, obviously I would never refuse penance in confession, I was just wondering if It is possible to ask for a different penance what is alot harsher, but you have cleared that up!
Next confession, please ask your priest before he assigns a penance, rather than after.
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I’ve never actually asked for a different penance, I was just wondering if I could! 🙂

Questions

So is it possible for me to ask for an “additional penance” what is harsher aswell as the penance I am giving?

Or must I ask for a strict penance before I am giving penance?
 
Patrick_Joshua said:
So is it possible for me to ask for an “additional penance” what is harsher aswell as the penance I am giving?

Or must I ask for a strict penance before I am giving penance?
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You may certainly ask for either. I suggest only that you mention it before confessing, to allow the Priest time to ponder while you confess. Since God knows your heart, you may perform any penance above and beyond what He assigns through the Priest.
 
4thelamb said:
Jesus said your penance is to “Go and sin no more”.
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Yes, and Jesus also founded His Church to bring people to Him and help them grow in holiness until He returns in Glory at the end of time. That Church is today called The Catholic Church and the OP is interested in what is taught by His Church. But thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut anyway.
 
On a similar thought…
I had a priest once that would, as your penance, have you bring “X boxes of your favorite cereal” to donate to the poor.

My first confession, I went in, and he gave me this. I was scared to say anything b/c I couldn’t afford it. Literally- I couldn’t afford to feed myself! So months and months later I went with a different priest and confessed I didn’t do my penance. 😦 He told me next time, it is ok to tell the priest I cannot do the one he gave!
 
Patrick_Joshua said:
Can I refuse penance at confession and ask for something more harsher?
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I suppose you could but it is not exactly in the spirit of humility in which we should approach confession and also seems to imply that we ourselves, rather than the priest who stands in the person of Christ himself, know best about our spiritual needs, which is a concept foreign to sound Christian spiritual direction. There is nothing to prevent you from doing another penitential practice in addition to the assigned penance.
 
I think before you ask the priest for another or a harsher penance you should examine why you want this harsher penance. Really sit down and examine your conscience and see if you can figure out why you believe you need the penance. See if it will be spiritually beneficial to you or not. If you can’t answer those questions or until you do perhaps you just need to accept what the priest gives.

ChadS
 
ChadS said:
I think before you ask the priest for another or a harsher penance you should examine why you want this harsher penance. Really sit down and examine your conscience and see if you can figure out why you believe you need the penance. See if it will be spiritually beneficial to you or not. If you can’t answer those questions or until you do perhaps you just need to accept what the priest gives.

ChadS
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I agree with this. But there are certain instances in which one “needs” a stronger penance. A close acquaintance of mine once asked the priest for a fairly strong penance because of a fairly serious sin. Once the sin was confessed and the penance was done, my friend had great peace of mind despite the serious nature of the sin.

I think this is appropriate and I do think that priests should consider giving more serious penances (like quite a bit more serious) for serious sins. But of course, this is a matter of prudence because in our day and age you can easily “quench the smoldering wick”, as it were, drive someone away from the sacraments entirely with what in another age would be considered very light treatment. We’re extremely soft, IMO (including me :rolleyes:)
 
DavidPalm said:
I agree with this. But there are certain instances in which one “needs” a stronger penance. A close acquaintance of mine once asked the priest for a fairly strong penance because of a fairly serious sin. Once the sin was confessed and the penance was done, my friend had great peace of mine despite the serious nature of the sin.

I think this is appropriate and I do think that priests should consider giving more serious penances (like quite a bit more serious) for serious sins. But of course, this is a matter of prudence because in our day and age you can easily “quench the smoldering wick”, as it were, drive someone away from the sacraments entirely with what in another age would be considered very light treatment. We’re extremely soft, IMO (including me :rolleyes:)
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Yes, I agree that sometimes a stronger penance can be warranted and many times it can have a spiritual benefit. I was just cautioning that the penitent’s motivation had to be correct and not one of spiritual pride. I would just think it better to have everything thought through before rejecting a priest’s counsel and asking for something of your own. The priest may have a very valid reason for why he is giving out what he does for a penance.

ChadS
 
DavidPalm said:
I agree with this. But there are certain instances in which one “needs” a stronger penance. A close acquaintance of mine once asked the priest for a fairly strong penance because of a fairly serious sin. Once the sin was confessed and the penance was done, my friend had great peace of mind despite the serious nature of the sin.

I think this is appropriate and I do think that priests should consider giving more serious penances (like quite a bit more serious) for serious sins. But of course, this is a matter of prudence because in our day and age you can easily “quench the smoldering wick”, as it were, drive someone away from the sacraments entirely with what in another age would be considered very light treatment. We’re extremely soft, IMO (including me :rolleyes:)
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ChadS said:
Yes, I agree that sometimes a stronger penance can be warranted and many times it can have a spiritual benefit. I was just cautioning that the penitent’s motivation had to be correct and not one of spiritual pride. I would just think it better to have everything thought through before rejecting a priest’s counsel and asking for something of your own. The priest may have a very valid reason for why he is giving out what he does for a penance.

ChadS
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One potential concern here with the OP is the possibility of lapsing into scrupulosity. I would suggest that the OP ponder this and make enquiry of his Priest in regard to it. We live in an age of doubt, indeed are surrounded by it. The evil one leads us to doubt God’s mercy, and the fact that it is God in Christ Who speaks to us through the Priest. We can develop a disordered sense of personal justice that may not fully recognise God’s mercy.
 
po18guy said:
One potential concern here with the OP is the possibility of lapsing into scrupulosity. I would suggest that the OP ponder this and make enquiry of his Priest in regard to it. We live in an age of doubt, indeed are surrounded by it. The evil one leads us to doubt God’s mercy, and the fact that it is God in Christ Who speaks to us through the Priest. We can develop a disordered sense of personal justice that may not fully recognise God’s mercy.
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Indeed. Some very wise comments.

ChadS
 
momfortune said:
You may absolutely NOT refuse a penance even if you think it’s not severe enough. In fact, many saints were told by their confessors that they were to stop doing extra penances and mortifications. It might be a sign of not trusting enough in God’s Mercy which is really another form of pride. God Bless, Momfortune :signofcross:
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Our parish priest who is also the RCIA director, said you absolutely CAN request another penance.
 
Patrick_Joshua said:
So is it possible for me to ask for an “additional penance” what is harsher aswell as the penance I am giving?
Or must I ask for a strict penance before I am giving penance?
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Are you expecting the priest to ask you to crawl through broken glass? You can- and should- do acts of penance on your own. Saying prayers of repentance (certain Psalms, acts of contrition, etc.) as well as certain devotions like the Stations of the Cross are good things for anyone to add to their spiritual life. As for your penances during confession, please trust in God- and in his instrument, the priest- to ask you to do an appropriate penance. Sometimes the penance is accepting with humility a seemingly-small penance.
 
I think the only time you can ask for a different penance is if you thought you would be, for some good reason, unable to complete the penance (although I can’t think of a penance right now that you could not perform)

Also, for the worst sin I ever committed the priest gave me one Our Father. When I looked surprised and said "that’s all?’ He said he could have assigned me a penance of sleeping on a bed of nails but since I already beat myself enough with guilt and finding the courage to confess the sin, all I needed was an Our Father in thanksgiving for God’s mercy.

BTW, that was the lengthiest Our Father I ever prayed.
 
DavidPalm said:
A close acquaintance of mine once asked the priest for a fairly strong penance because of a fairly serious sin. Once the sin was confessed and the penance was done, my friend had great peace of mind despite the serious nature of the sin.
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I’m very nervous with a penance being done to have “great peace of mind.” One of the doctrines of the Church is that our priests and confessors are our religious superiors, therefore we are to be obedient to them. When they give us an order, we are expected to follow it (unless it is to sin). By saying that you need a stronger penance because the penance that a priest standing In Persona Christi issues isn’t strong enough is (in my opinion) going down the road to serious error.

Perhaps part of the penance is learning to accept the penance that you don’t feel is strong enough. Reminding us that God’s ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts.

That being said, I do not think there is anything wrong with asking for a clarification, or if there are problems with your ability to complete the penance asking the priest for possible assignment to a different penance.
 
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