Relapsed After 291 Days

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imperfectsoul

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Hi everyone.

So, yesterday (against my wish) I relapsed after 291 days of staying clean of Pornography and M. Waking up today, I feel so awful with myself, because I kinda like took a vow/made a promise to God that I wouldn’t ever relapse again…also, I feel like I’m an ingrate to Him right now.

I know I’ll need to get Confession as soon as possible, but I’m scared that I’m going to get punished for breaking my promise. I’ve cried severally today and asked God to forgive me, yet the guilt is so strong and it’s not going away - it’s like this dark blanket covering me since today.

Please advise. Thanks.
 
Hi, thanks for your reply. I’m 20. And I’m seriously considering talking to a priest like you suggested (outside of the confession arena).
 
I actually haven’t, because I find it easier talking to priests and sharing my problems. Will consider that regardless. Thank you.
 
291 days is brilliant! Well done.

Make a note of it and recommence your abstinence. Remembering how bad you felt when you succumbed should help you to achieve more in the future.

God bless.
 
imperfectsoul said:
Please advise. Thanks.
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Stress will do that. You’re just looking for something to distract yourself, for one reason or another. We all need and want pleasure and happiness. God understands this. So you fall? Then keep standing back up, again and again if need be, accepting Gods forgiveness. God not only forgives the sin, but is there in the midst of it, with grace to understand and to overcome, regardless of how much time it takes to keep us standing up in the end.
 
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People focus on masturbation and pornography like they’re the most grave, awful sins imaginable. They’re actually pretty run of the mill. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go to confession, but you shouldn’t beat yourself up this way. You slipped up. Fine, go to confession and move on with your life. Virtually every man (and a ton of women) struggle with this. You’re not weird or uniquely terrible or something.
 
I share in your troubles friend. Don’t worry, God knows you are trying. I would love to experience 291 days of uninterupted sobriety. The longest I’ve ever managed is roughly two months, and only a couple of times at that. I look at your success with awe and amazement, and pray that I will eventually be able to make it as far as you have.

It’s time to get to confession, and then get back on that horse. God knows you are trying to break free of this addiction, and He is there, ready and waiting to welcome you home. When we fail, it is Satan who tells us we are worthless, who tells us to avoid God, and to reject confession. Don’t listen to him. Tell Satan to get back in Hell where he belongs, and turn your heart and mind back towards God.
 
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Thanks for your reply, friend.

I had to find a priest ASAP and I’ve made confession. Now I feel better. Thank God!
Keep fighting the battle, you’ll soon win! I pray God gives you the grace to have a longer uninterupted sobriety, AMEN.
 
BoomBoomMancini said:
People focus on masturbation and pornography like they’re the most grave, awful sins imaginable.
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I agree with you.
Probably one of the biggest drivers of this is the individual’s feeling of not being in control of himself. If it’s an illicit drug or alcohol he can say that the temptation is coming from an outside influence. But when it’s all from within, the question always recurs, “What’s wrong with me that I can’t stop myself?”
 
Well, i stopped watching porn and started watching dancing and other physical activities.
 
Look at the bright side, 291 days!! Wow that is amazing! Most I’ve gone is 81 days, I’m pass 2 month mark right now. It’s tough. I’ve known people who’ve gone over a year and still fall. Don’t beat yourself up so hard for it. We’re all human, I would get to confession ASAP though. I find when I fall and wait I end up making things worse. I know others who struggle with this on a monthly basis too, and they’re very involved with church activities. Don’t think you’re alone, porn is an epidemic. It’s sad. Well goto confession and start anew!
 
on_the_hill said:
But when it’s all from within, the question always recurs, “What’s wrong with me that I can’t stop myself?”
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Well, I guess I can see how someone might feel that way - I take some comfort in knowing that this is perhaps the most common sin of all.

There’s nothing particularly wrong with anyone - especially a male - who finds himself overcome by lustful physical urges. It is tied to the drives that perpetuate the species, after all.

Heck, I salute the original poster for going 291 days without indulging.
 
General advice: Don’t make vows like that to God. Just work your darndest to live holy.
 
imperfectsoul said:
I relapsed after 291 days
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Don’t lose hope. You are a better person than you were 291 days ago. You are making progress.

Think of it as your spiritual journey. Did you ever get lost on a hike? You want to stay on the right path, but you chose a side trail for one reason or another. You soon realized that you were in the wrong place. That’s a disappointment, but all you have to do is return to the right path and take it from where you left off.
 
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Thank you very much for the kind words and encouragement. 🙂
 
You’ll get there friend, as I hope to someday be free as well. God loves us, and He wants us to be free.
 
You’re being a much too hard on yourself. I would encourage you to reflect upon you own goodness and upon God’s love for you, despite the sin. Indeed, realizing that you are still a good person and loved by God may help breaks the cycle of repeated sins. For the darkness of sin becomes powerless before the light of God’s love.

Remember that Jesus did not love sinners because they had changed. They changed because he loved them. He sought them out in the midst of their sinning and His love transformed them.

You might consider making a reflection on God’s love for you your examination prior to going to Confession. For that Sacrament is a celebration of God’s love for sinners. But so many, sadly, think it’s only about getting rid of sin and avoiding God’s vengeance.
 
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