Relationship Advice. What to do when you are the risk to chastity

[Irishmom2]

Would you marry your daughter to a guy who, when you ask him if he’s going to sleep with her before the wedding night, answers: “uh… I dunno”? .

I think you are forgetting that he can only do that if your daughter agrees to sleep with him…And this daughter says that she is not going to, is the point.

 

[Nesrad]

I think you are forgetting that he can only do that if your daughter agrees to sleep with him…And this daughter says that she is not going to, is the point.

I know my daughter would say no, that’s a given. But this guy, if he even entertains the possibility in his mind, isn’t going to cut it.

 

[mayxanh]

Would you marry your daughter to a guy who, when you ask him if he’s going to sleep with her before the wedding night, answers: “uh… I dunno”? Not me. Until his convictions are strong enough for him to answer correctly despite the prospect of getting lucky tonight, he’s not ready for marriage.

And if she replies, “that’s ok, I can live with that,” she’s saying that she’ll settle for less than perfect chastity. I wouldn’t want my boy to marry a girl like that.

What I don’t understand is … Patrick states clearly that

Now fortunately in this case the girl did display the proper conviction regarding her intent to remain a virgin until marriage

What else should he afraid of being firm in this regard?

 

[The_Bucket]

I know my daughter would say no, that’s a given. But this guy, if he even entertains the possibility in his mind, isn’t going to cut it.

Are you human? I was a virgin until my wedding night, as was my wife, but I’d be lying big time if I didn’t say that there were temptations. And quite a few of them. I lived in the same apartment complex from my then-fiancee for months. We were about 500 miles away from family. Nothing they could do to stop us.

So yeah, we stayed virgins. But it was not an easy task. Oh and by the way, that doesn’t mean I was all perfectly pure of heart and whatnot. I was not.

 

[Nesrad]

There is a difference between temptation and mental assent. What Patrick described is clearly a certain degree of assent. The difference is precisely what Christ was talking about when he said that if you even looked at a woman the wrong way, you already committed adultery in your heart. A serious believer shouldn’t go easy on himself by saying: “I’m a human after all…”

 

[PHSshamrock]

Tell her what you told us: apologize for not being more convicted in your answer, explain that you know you are weak in this area (but are trying to become stronger), and ask her if she is still willing to date you now that she understands this weakness.