Relationship advice

[Lea101]

Is her defect her eyes? (I’m really curious sorry)

 

[Lou2U]

You sound like my possible future boyfriend. I’m quite ugly (I have a deformity too).

Honestly, the easiest (but could be hurtful) way is to tell her that you love her a lot and you want to spend your life with her, but you keep thinking that you could “do better”. And then if she stays with you, great. If she dumps you, she obviously doesn’t want someone like you. This is not me being an arse towards you, but she deserves to know your feelings-good and bad. If she thinks you think that she is the best person and that you do not question your “choice”, well, that sucks. She deserves to know everything, it could be a deal breaker for her, and she does not know it!

That’s what I (a fellow ugly female) would want. Chances are, she knows that she is not that attractive according to society. Personally, I want my husband to be 100% confident about marrying me. If I know my spouse is thinking that he could get someone better, even if he only meant beauty-wise, i would be crushed. And that’s the last thing i want in a marriage. My husband should be delusional and think I’m the most gorgeous

In conclusion, you can ask us and get angry at the (wise) responses we give you, or you can talk to her and see where she stands. It would be incredibly unfair if she doesn’t know what you feel about this. You love her, so you should want her to have the spouse she wants, whether it is you or not.

(And yes, she apparently wants to marry you now, but don’t assume she will still feel that way when, not if, she finds out about this. If she still wants to marry you, then yay! You’ve got yourself a great partner, if not, graciously let her go and don’t hold back information that could change her mind about this relationship)

It doesn’t benefit you to refer to yourself (or the OP’s girlfriend) as “ugly”. I do agree with you that the OP should be 100% sure about getting married before he does so.

(If you’re still reading, OP) - Trident’s right. Good for you that you found what you needed. But we aren’t saying what we say to hurt you, we’re saying it to try and help. Make sure your thoughts aren’t being influenced by your family.

Lou

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

I have not seen any keyboard warrioring on this thread. Though it certainly exists everywhere. I can only speak for myself but I think everyone here on this entire thread has posted pretty much what we would have said had the op told us this in our own parishes over coffee and doughnuts after Mass.

I have to admit I chuckling a bit at the idea that the op would have asked strangers this in real life. I think the keyboard warrior thing goes both ways. I’m picturing Kip from Napoleon dynamite telling us about lafawndah.

“I’m just getting T.O.ed. Because she hadn’t sent me a body shot yet…” All of us would be telling kip or lafawndah they were crazy.

Then I picture kip at the end. “Napoleon, I am one hundred percent certain lafawnduh is my soulmate…” And well he was right. No matter how the families looked at thier relationship. Come to think if it, that is a pretty good parallel here…

The op should be more like kip.

I read all the posts finally. My opinion is moot now though. Op made a decision about his relationship. I got’s nothing else to say