Shortly after, she told me she was ready to have sex. I asked if this would conflict with her religion, and she told me she didn’t think God would mind her having sex with the man she loved. She told me she was convinced God would understand the way she felt about me, and that she was sure God would see what she saw in me.
The sex was amazing, still is, and we have been having it for almost 5 months. Her mood did not deteriorate for 4 months. On the contrary, she was even more vibrant, something I really didn’t think possible as she was so full of life to begin with. Her mood has only been plummeting in the last month, and that coincided with her losing her faith. Therefore I have good reason to think that is the primary issue, although the sex could be contributing in some way. I cannot be sure yet. She made an appointment with a psychiatrist connected to the health service provided by the university, so some steps have finally been taken.
Persuader, oddly, the emotions you felt when you first saw her have been known to compel some other men to say “There IS a GOD!”
For those who can’t connect the dots about mortal sin and how people willingly choose it… look at his timeline. Perfect. Because this soul-crushing depression doesnt’ happen immediately.
First, she knows he was casually using other women when she came along, I presume. They have this incredible bond. His foreignness, his intellectual positions, he’s way cooler than the usual college fool, and she’s very impressed. And head over heels in love. They haven’t even known each other long enough for his real character to come out. (Takes at least half a year, but by that point, she’s sleeping with him and turned off her Warning Switch completely.) Hanging out with Mr. Judges the World by His Feelings and Emotions has changed her into someone who now speaks for God and tells him that God doesn’t FEEL bad about her sleeping with the man she thinks she loves.
She now presumes to interpret the mind of God, not according to what God actually said, but what she feels God would “feel.” Yes, Persuader, you’re good! She’s bought into that whole basing your actions on emotions thing. You were using other women, then dumped them when your emotions changed and you found someone new to feel emotional about. How are those girls doing, by the way? And you wonder that her mom has you pegged for a skirt chaser?
So that’s how sin is rationalized. We tell ourselves what God thinks, based on what we want Him to think. God changes the rules just for us! We have to lie to ourselves. Don’t we?
Deep down she has this thing written in her soul called Natural Law. And it is telling her this relationship is not right. Instead of you living up to her higher standards, she had to climb down to your lower standards of friends with benefits and free love. How sad for you both. Instead of her making you a better person, you made her a worse one.
But the sex is confusing her. She is mistaking physical pleasure for emotional happiness. Yes, for a while, being in love and sex made her happy. But that’s wearing off, Mr. Persuader. Sex alone means nothing. Five months… hmm… a little while of using contraceptives from the store. Then after a month she starts the contraceptive implant. Give it two and a half months to really take effect and wreck havoc with her system. Along with the guilt. And a month ago YOU just started noticing her depression. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t creeping up on her before then. I beg to differ. I bet she’s had a huge noticeable side effect to the meds. Depression, just like their own brochure warned her!
It probably took a while of being estranged from God… the guilt… the mental games she played that took her from being quite religious and quite Catholic believing “God has laws and He cares whether I reciprocate His love in Obedience” to “God doesn’t care what I do because He thinks like I do now” to “There can’t be a God at all.” Some people can’t do that in three days. Sometimes it takes about 4 months.
That change all occurred on your watch. She adopted your version of spirituality or whatever you call that which gives your life meaning. It doesn’t give her life meaning.
Living in sin, she lacks the grace to withstand the many spiritual assaults we all come under. She was raised to believe if we love God, we will obey His commandments. Intellectually, she has had to convince herself, not that she doesn’t love God. But that there is no God to love. Who, raised a Catholic and after a lifetime of being religious can wake up one morning and say “I don’t love God anymore.”
I guess I’m not sure what you want us to say to you…