Reliability of NFP vs artificial contraception

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Feanaro_s_Wife

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The main reason I have noticed for people choosing artificial contraception over NFP is that they think that NFP is not very reliable and that artificial contraception is near perfect in preventing pregnancy. I used to be one of those people.

I have a medical condition that would make a pregnancy and subsequent child rearing extremely difficult, if not impossible. I “trusted” the Pill for many many years before my Catholic hubby convinced me that it (artificial contraception) is wrong.

I decided to give NFP a try for hubby’s sake. It lead me to my conversion to the Catholic Church.

One of the main influences for me to try NFP was a forum member named rayne89. She has a life threatening condition that would make another pregnancy fatal for her. She has been using NFP for 9 years successfuly to avoid another pregancy. I say another because she has one child.

A failure could kill her and leave her daughter motherless, but would merely make my life very difficult. If she could trust it, so could I. (thank you rayne!)

What I now would like to discuss is any reports on the actual effectiveness of NFP vs various methods of artificial contraception. I do not what this thread to turn into a debate about right vs wrong… that has been done enough!

To my understanding, when used correctly by the couple, NPF has a 99% effectiveness rate. Condoms, for example, I believe are sitting around 80% for preventing pregnancy.

Why would someone choose a less effective method to prevent a pregnancy, especially when a failure could result in fatal consequences?

I am very interested in hearing your opinions, stories, and being referenced to any studies on the issue.

Please keep it polite and charitable. I repeat,** I do not want any debates on which method is right or wrong**, I just want to discuss effectiveness and people’s reasons for choosing a method.

If you want to have a discussion off topic, please consider a PM or starting a new thread.

Malia
 
Well…a month ago I would have agreed wholeheartedly with you…lol. I chart, temp, and check cm…timing this month between illness and DH being gone for a week was such that “it” only happened 8days before I ovulated and then not again until 6 days after my thermal shift, cm disappeared, etc. To the point, I didn’t bother even testing until I was 6 days late…(you know when you’re charting one day is enough to send you running to the store, no?) – nope, I was sure it couldn’t have happened…but it did. And now I’m in the process of losing that pregnancy…besides the point, but we used it, unintentionally avoided the “window” and still got pregnant…it’s not all man in this equation, I’m firmly convinced…tho it makes it hard to understand this loss after a seemingly “meant to be” positive test result, kwim?
 
leaner, I am so sorry for your loss. Some things are just so hard to comprehend. And I completely agree with you that it is not just man in the equation. I think that is the point.

Personally, if I were to get pregnant using NFP properly, then I would believe that it was God’s will. If I were to get pregnant while using contraception then I would be freaking out, but that’s just me.

Again, I am sorry for your loss. I hope you have the comfort of believing that your precious baby’s soul is in heaven and will be waitng for you one day.

Malia
 
Feanaro's Wife:
Why would someone choose a less effective method to prevent a pregnancy, especially when a failure could result in fatal consequences?
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Two answers I can think of, both of which have an admittedly shallow take on human nature:
  1. With ABC, sex is always “available”, while NFP does require the couple to abstain for a while every month. A lot of people never get past this. Society has effectively painted choosing to control one’s sexual urges as a hiedously unnatural decision.
  2. Bad press, coincidently propagated most often by those seeking to justify thier use of ABC falling under reason number one. I’ve had to flat out tell my mother (raised Baptist and a nominal convert) to quit the snide remarks about NFP becase no matter how many times she said it was just the ryhthm method and used refernces to large families to “prove” it didn’t work, I still knew better and her unwillingness to look at the science didn’t make the science wrong.
Though they never talked about it, I also know my youngest brother is a condom baby and I suspect she tried hte pill for a while right after the second youngest was born, so she’s got a peronal stake in defending it.
 
We totally thought we had it down, charting, taking temp, etc. We have had one “surprise” baby – she’s number 5, and we are so thankful. As far as which method “works” better, I don’t think you can accurately determine because one method (artificial contraception) allows the couple to be intimate at any time and avoid conception, and NFP places restrictions on the days and times of intimacy. If you want to be intimate at any time on any day, then clearly the artificial means would be more reliable. I heard someone say once, “Birth control means ‘no birth’ and ‘no control’” – I thought that was funny.
 
Thankyou – that wasn’t a ploy for sympathy-- I just didn’t want to have to explain if someone offered congratulations, kwim? Before this month, I would have sworn on the 99% thing…lol. Been using it for 9yrs, gotten pregnant 5 times, only this last one was “a surprise” – so I believe in it, and am more likely to believe I read the thermometer wrong, or double ovulated or something freaky like that…or, that for some reason or another, God wanted this, and I have to trust in that, no matter what my mortal brain/emotions feel…thankyou for your kind words; I love discussing NFP, and have gotten SOOO many “ohhh, the rythmm method” – uhh, no…LOL!
 
Avoiding times: 100% effeective.
Trying to conceive: 33% effective. (2 for 6 cycles!)

Billing Method.
We’ve been married nearly 6 years. Now discerning magnitude of some health troubles as to whether to try for more.

Abstinance times are harder on me than her. Inability to use decongestants for fear of affecting THAT mucus is harder on her!

I’m convinced that the Billing method reliance on mucus symptoms is superior to the sympto-thermal method.
 
Well, I have a friend with a pill baby and a sister with a tied tubes baby. I figure if God want you to have a baby, you will not matter what you try to do to avoid it.

Then there’s the other side of the coin.
Hee Hee I was going to say there are those who do everything but stand on their head, and then I remembered OH, I DID THAT, TOO!!! :yup: :whacky: 😃
 
The “oops” stories may be endearing to those with no medical issues. But for some women out there, and yes, they are out there, for whom a pregnancy would be a life-threatening adventure, ABC and/or sterilization can offer a form of assurance, mental and physical that NFP can’t. If you are interested in some comparative statistics on fertility awareness, barrier,chemical and sterilization methods (broken down by “perfectly practised” and “typically practiced”) check out this website: engenderhealth.org and type in the “search” box “contraceptive method effectiveness.”
 
Island Oak:
The “oops” stories may be endearing to those with no medical issues. But for some women out there, and yes, they are out there, for whom a pregnancy would be a life-threatening adventure, ABC and/or sterilization can offer a form of assurance, mental and physical that NFP can’t.
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As long as one ignores the spiritual consequences of engaging in behavior that is gravely sinful, I guess there’s a point in there somewhere.

– Mark L. Chance.
 
Island Oak says:
The “oops” stories may be endearing to those with no medical issues. But for some women out there, and yes, they are out there, for whom a pregnancy would be a life-threatening adventure, ABC and/or sterilization can offer a form of assurance, mental and physical that NFP can’t.
Island Oak,
I see “oops” stories from all methods. I don’t see how using ABC or getting sterilized would offer more assurance…that is why I started this thread. That doesn’t make sense to me.
By using NFP, I am in control. I can see what my body is doing by observing certain signs. When I was on the Pill I had no idea what was going on…when I might have been fertile…etc.
To me, using ABC is acting more on blind faith and is less reassuring to me. Unless of course you are talking about using ABC and NFP together.
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mlchance:
As long as one ignores the spiritual consequences of engaging in behavior that is gravely sinful, I guess there’s a point in there somewhere.

– Mark L. Chance.
Click to expand...
I understand your point Mark, but please don’t get this thread on the track of sinful behavior. I really don’t want it to go there…
 
Feanaro's Wife:
I understand your point Mark, but please don’t get this thread on the track of sinful behavior. I really don’t want it to go there…
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Mea culpa maxima, and kudos to you for taking responsibility the way you have in your own life. Rest assured, you are not alone.

– Mark L. Chance.
 
Malia:

Perhaps you (and many others) have readily discernable and/or predictable physical symptoms of ovulation. If so, I absolutely agree on many levels that working with the natural cycles of your body is optimal. However, not everyone does. Did you look at the comparisons of the methods described in the web-site I posted? That seemed to be at least part of the “data” you were interested in finding.
 
:banghead: I know many people think this is the case with us. They assume we have a large family because NFP doesn’t work. Actually we have a large family because NFP does work.

**The first 4, we were just happy to continue on with more. After all, the ones we’d been given so far were keepers.😉 **

The 5th, dh went into a “phase” … “Good Lord woman!, did you know this means I’ll have 5 to provide for! This is getting a wee bit out of hand!” pacing the floor wondering if she’s going to want a big wedding or if she’ll be ashamed if all he can afford is a nice little family one in a church. :whacky: So we trotted off to the NFP classes because the pill nearly killed me years and years ago, and we didn’t want to do anything permanent.

One problem though. I was already pregnant. I was sooo worried about telling him. But my man took it like a trooper and just said our girl needed a sister anyhow. But I could see that deer in the headlights look in his eyes. Poor guy, it’s not easy being the sole provider for all us eating machines!

But then, I miscarried a few months later. My poor dh was absolutely devastated. He didn’t know how much he wanted that lil’ guy after all. The next morning he said he wanted us to start back up to the NFP classes - but to try for another!

I’ve had 2 more dc since and 2 more m/c since. But dh has never once mentioned # of kids again. The baptist up-bringing he had has him convinced we lost that baby because he hadn’t wanted it from the very beginning. He said all he could think about while I was in the hopsital being taken care of was that God was showing him all the joy he could be turning away by not being open to His children.

We still use NFP at times. So I could get my back x-rays w/o harm. So I could go on a business trip with dh without puking the entire time. In other words, NFP is 100% effective in letting us have a large family.

BTW, we didn’t even start going to a catholic church until my 3rd pregnancy and I didn’t complete RCIA until after the 6th was born! (Kept getting pregnancy bedrest and missing classes! )
 
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mlchance:
Mea culpa maxima, and kudos to you for taking responsibility the way you have in your own life. Rest assured, you are not alone.

– Mark L. Chance.
Click to expand...
Thank you:)
 
Island Oak:
Malia:

Perhaps you (and many others) have readily discernable and/or predictable physical symptoms of ovulation. If so, I absolutely agree on many levels that working with the natural cycles of your body is optimal. However, not everyone does.

No, I don’t. It is finally getting better now, but due to being on the pill for over 14 years and symptoms from my chronic illness, I am just starting to be able to rely on my fertility signs.

This has meant a lot of abstinence for hubby and I. But we feel it is our only choice. We will never go back to using any form of artificial contraception.

But thank you Island Oak… being unable to use NFP because a woman finds it impossible to chart her cycles is one of the types of reasons I was looking for.

Did you look at the comparisons of the methods described in the web-site I posted? That seemed to be at least part of the “data” you were interested in finding.

yes, thank you, I did.
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Rob’s Wife said:
:banghead: I know many people think this is the case with us. They assume we have a large family because NFP doesn’t work. Actually we have a large family because NFP does work.
Click to expand...

I am sad to admit that I used to be one of the people who used that reasoning.😦

Thank you for sharing your experiences, and I am terribly sorry about your miscarriages.

Malia
 
i do not like this debate. i am ‘anovualory’ which means i might not get my period for 70 days one cycle and then could be 50 the next cycle. it is so very depressing when you are trying to conceive…it took 9 months for us to get our 2nd child. now we are happy with our 2 beautiful healthy girsl, we are estatic with our family of four. now, being anovualtory could be very stressful if we did not take other actions.

i love my faith, jesus knows what is in my heart!
 
We used NFP for several years. Both temp and mucus were charted. We had 3 surprise pregnancies during that time. 2 ended in miscarriage. We had one planned child using NFP.
We had one suprise pregnancy using condoms (broke) and I have had a few instances of condoms coming off during intercourse.
After the birth of our 3rd child (three was the number we both wanted) my hubby had a vasectomy. That was 13 yrs ago and we have had no suprises since then.

cheddar
 
My husband and I used NFP for almost two years after my second child (we used NFP to conceive the first two, and conceived first try) and my sweet baby girl was a sweet surprise! I am so thankful that NFP didn’t work at that moment. It was actually the first attempt at using NFP to avoid pregnancy.I found out I was pregnant with her right after returning from my grandmother’s funeral. Her middle name is Grace, because God gave me the grace to get through the death of my grandmother through my new daughter’s life. Needless to say, I have not had the experience of using NFP to prevent pregnancy successfully, but it works really well to choose the right time for conception.

As some of you may have read, I had some serious complications during and after her birth. My doc recommended that we seriously consider not getting pregnant again. I was firmly set on using NFP, but my poor husband was terrified at the prospect of “killing me” and, no matter how I tried, I coudln’t convince him not to have a vasectomy. It has been two years and now we* both* regret it. I am not angry with him, nor do I blame him, how can I? He did it for what he truly believed to be a protection of my health and safety, and I could not convince him that it was a sinful thing to do. He grew up protestant and is still in a conversion process to the Catholic Church.

I do know that God can do anything! So I always pray to him that I am still open to life and may His will be done. This has been the most difficult and painful hurdle in my life, the issues regarding birth control. I had always assumed I would have 6 + children, but my husband grew up with the concept drilled into him that more than 2 is irresponsible. He feels differently now.

I am very satisfied with the size of my family, although I always wonder if I was meant to have more, and interfered with God’s will which can be quite unsettling.
 
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