Religious Ed teacher telling kids there is no Santa

[Teelynn]

Our just turned 9 year old granddaughter came home from religious ed crying that the teacher told them there was no such thing as Santa or Rudolf or any of it. It was all a myth. I am intending to find out exactly what the circumstances are around this incident. Did one of the kids in class maybe ask her if Santa was real or not? Or did she just decide on her own the kids need to know this is just a myth? I don’t yet know the details. But what upsets me is really two fold. Especially if she is one of those people who believes in total ‘reality’ thinking for children and came out with this declaration without any prompting, how does she know where a child is in their maturing into the knowledge of ‘The Santa Story’? Both of my older grandkids of course are fully aware of the truth, but we told them the story of course at appropriate ages about St. Nicholas that was so kind and generous to the children, and was in fact the real Santa. And that Christmas because of the birth of Christ is a truly mystical time of year because of that. Not that the birth of Christ is something ‘make believe’ at all don’t misunderstand, but because it is such a miracle that Christ did in fact come to us as a baby in the manger, it is truly a miraculous and mystical, wonderful and joyous time of year, and that many miracles do indeed happen at Christmas. They were not TRAUMATIZED in the least bit. Neither was their Mom when I told her as a child.

Secondly, these grandkids of mine have gone through very some very tough times in their family dynamics recently, and this was the LAST thing my poor little girl needed at this time. Not that the Santa thing is really life shattering, but she is almost at the age where this will be coming up anyway, and if this teacher knew what she has already in the last few weeks been through, I’m at least hoping she would have been wise enough to somehow gloss over the subject.

And I guess my third question is: Why would the Santa story take away from the Birth of Christ unless the Birth of Christ was not emphasized by the family as being number one? Heck, I even remember Mother Angelica on one of her Christmas programs asking one of the little ones about Santa.

And to be fair, I have kind of a bad taste in my mouth about this Parish’s religious ed program, because when I had my daughter there, one of her teachers told them that NOTHING happened when they die. No Heaven, Hell or Purgatory…just NOTHINGNESS. Ha!! Believe me, I went marching down there and demanded that teacher be dismissed for teaching atheism vs. Catholicism…and thank the Lord, she was. Can’t even compare that incident with this one, of course, but I wonder what it is about some of these religious ed teachers? We will probably have to tell her the story of St. Nicholas before she was really ready thanks to this woman, and she has been through quite enough within the last few weeks for a child that just turned 9. So…yep…I am more than a little upset. Not sure how much of a deal to make out of it, or just to forget it and chalk it up to just another set back.

 

[Ph0enix]

Im sorry she had to hear that

I think telling her about Saint Nick is a good idea, after all he existed and is who Santa was based off of(Though Saint Nick was a bit more fit)

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

It is not the religious Ed teachers call to make. I think we can all agree on that. However, 9 years old is a bit mature to actually believe this stuff and the teacher may very well have been caught in a hard place talking about s Saint who’s feast day is coming up. St Nicholas is the 6th and many catholic traditions have families handing out presents then. Btw. Who do your grandkids think st Nicholas is?
We have always played with the idea of Santa but none of my kids ever thought it was real. Santa fake lies, easterbunny lies, tooth fairy lies but flying saints resurrection and the real presence real? At 9 they are supposed to believe in the real presence of the Eucharist but not Santa? That is a hard nuance to ask of a 9 year old. At 9 I’m surprised it didn’t come from other kids. I’m sure the religious Ed teacher assumed most kids knew this and how would you teach about the faith in religious Ed with this subject? Would you lie about a saint?

 

[PhiloMed]

I still very much believed in Santa when I was 9. In fact, 8 or 9 is the first Christmas I really remember “Santa” bringing me gifts. How unfortunate this person chose to destroy that- if that is how it happened.

I would recommend finding out exactly what happened before jumping to conclusions. It may be the teacher assumed all the kids no longer believed- but that seems strange because I was one of the first in my class to lose the Santa magic around 11ish (though in some ways I still have it now).

Maybe this teacher was well meaning but just needs a little education on what is within her range to discuss.

 

[EasterJoy]

We told our children that when someone writes “Santa Claus” as the giver of a gift, it means they want thanks for the gift from no one but God. You aren’t allowed to ask if it was “really” St. Nicholas or not. You give thanks for generosity that is pure gift, without expectation of return. They were forbidden from ever telling anyone that “there is no Santa Claus.” Santa Claus is the persona of magic that comes from secret selflessness. There is no con job involved, no advantage being taken. Never tell someone that this is a fake, then. That is the height of cynicism.

Tell your granddaughter that she should not let this revelation about the “myth” ruin the story and the reality behind the story of Santa Claus for her. Then read her the famous, “yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” letter. I think that will help her.

*Dear Editor—

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O’Hanlon
115 West Ninety Fifth Street

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence.

We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! He lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood*.

Unrequited generosity, given freely for the purpose of putting magic into another person’s life? Yes, it is very real. This year, have your granddaughter help you buy gifts for children whose parents are not in a position to buy them any. Santa Claus will be real for them, and God alone will thank you and your granddaughter for working under the reputation, grace, and intercession of St. Nicholas, the patron saint of children. Few things you do in a year are as real as that.

By the way, our children are in high school, and they still get presents from Santa. They know it is the one meant to be a little extra magical, a “pay it forward” kind of gift. Tell your granddaughter that she is not too old to believe in Santa Claus, but she is old enough to pursue the graces that go to those who make Santa Claus real.

 

[Teelynn]

It is not the religious Ed teachers call to make. I think we can all agree on that. However, 9 years old is a bit mature to actually believe this stuff and the teacher may very well have been caught in a hard place talking about s Saint who’s feast day is coming up. St Nicholas is the 6th and many catholic traditions have families handing out presents then. Btw. Who do your grandkids think st Nicholas is?
We have always played with the idea of Santa but none of my kids ever thought it was real. Santa fake lies, easterbunny lies, tooth fairy lies but flying saints resurrection and the real presence real? At 9 they are supposed to believe in the real presence of the Eucharist but not Santa? That is a hard nuance to ask of a 9 year old. At 9 I’m surprised it didn’t come from other kids. I’m sure the religious Ed teacher assumed most kids knew this and how would you teach about the faith in religious Ed with this subject? Would you lie about a saint?

First of all, all of my grandchildren including this one, knows the story of St. Nicholas and that he was the original Santa, and a real live man that gave presents to children in need, and when he died became a Saint; And that’s how ‘Santa’ came to be. I guess we really thought either last year or this year would be her last year and we would talk about the magic of Christmas with St. Nicholas loving idea of gift giving to children plus the three wisemen who came bearing gifts for the Christ Child (which of course they all know) The older ones kind of eased right into this, but with all that these kids have been through in the last year, maybe she wasn’t ready for this yet. The last few weeks have been very traumatic for all of them which is not the fault or responsibility of the teacher to ‘walk on eggshells’ but I do think there is a way to bypass the ‘Fake Santa’ story as you say, and still tell the story of St. Nicholas. And NO, I wouldn’t lie about a Saint and tell kids this Saint flies around distributing presents. Yes, I would agree that kids probably talk about this and that she may have also heard this elsewhere. It could be that she was just on the verge of not believing but was hanging on. And all of my grandkids do believe in the real presence even the older ones who are of course wise to the Santa thing. I know there are some parents who out and out tell kids from babies that Santa is non existent, but our family is not one of them. And NONE of our kids has ever been traumatized by believing as children that Santa came on Christmas Eve and then finding out as they matured on their own that Santa was actually parents and relatives carrying on in the ‘tradition’ of St. Nicholas, and that indeed there is something very special and magical about Christmas. And it so far anyway, has not damaged any of their faith in either the Resurrection of Christ or the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist.

This all said, I will find out the circumstances of how this came about as maybe it was a non planned revelation.

 

[mommy_k]

I would be very mad if this happened in our family.

I think this was out of line for the teacher, no matter what the age of the child-a parent knows when it is time. Children are pushed to grow up too fast these days. I also think even if a direct question was asked-she could have diverted it back to the parents, and then changed the subject.

The magical time of belief in santa should not be ruined by an adult. This does not in any way detract from Jesus’ birthday if the family is Catholic and the main focus is on that.

If someone else wants to parent their children wihout this belief-it is their business and I respect that, but the respect should be mutual. To hear it from a teacher is wrong wrong wrong.

Shame on this teacher and hugs to you.

 

[shainski]

I don’t think the revelation should have come from the religious ed teacher - and I would be interested in knowing what led to that.

However, I will say that I had the discussion last year with my two boys (now aged 11 and almost 10). I felt I had to tell them together.

I regret that I told them before Christmas, and not after (It was December).

The reason I told them was that my oldest was telling me that there was an incident at religious ed - and the kids were debating the reality of Santa Claus. My son was telling me how he had argued his point (about the reality of Santa).

At that point, I thought that the kids have all enjoyed the fantasy - but I didn’t want them going on limb and then feeling embarrassed when the truth came out. At that age, there is a lot of discussion going on between the kids.

So I would try to find out what occurred that caused the teacher to discuss this openly with the kids.

 

[pianistclare]

Was the lesson about St. Nicholas, whose Feast day is around the corner?

I wouldn’t jump to conclusions.
Meet with the teacher and express our concerns and your child’s disappointment.

 

[MomaMary8]

Until you know for certain that her intent was malicious, how about erring on the side of charity? Nine years old = 4th grade? This RE teacher may be a volunteer with kids who figured it out by 6 or 7 and never dreamed of a child not knowing the truth at the age of nine.

 

[Xantippe]

My daughter’s CCD teacher told her class, “The kids in my family that don’t believe in Santa get underwear for Christmas!”

 

[HelenRose]

This is how I handled with my children when they asked about Santa Claus.

I said, “Santa Claus is magic. When you start asking questions about magic, the magic disappears. Jesus is real, a matter of faith. When you start asking about faith, faith increases.”

They never asked me about Santa again. But as they grew older, we have had wonderful discussions about Jesus.

 

[Blessedwithfive]

Sorry this happened.

As a teacher I believe it is very hard for children to understand and believe the true presence of Christ and the whole resurrection story if they still believe in made up stories like Santa and the tooth fairy. Separating fact from fiction is hard for kids at this age. I think kids that still believe in myths like these probably should not be receiving Communion.

In my experience kids know (or want to know) the truth about Santa by first grade.

 

[alphawoman]

I have two thoughts that aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive.

1. The Santa myth is a dominant cultural narrative among Catholic families. It is the responsibility of parents, not teachers, to determine if and when such a story is maintained or revealed.
2. We, personally, do not do Santa. I could discuss why, but that isn’t the point of the thread, and the reasons for this decision are based on factors specific to our family. I have always been conscious to teach my son that other children value the story, and not to disrupt their enjoyment. It’s just not hard to have a respectful live and let live philosophy, and the teacher could have consulted with families first.

For us, it was convenient that my son, at 2, said that the whole concept of Santa was ridiculous after a long question and answer session where he grilled me on the physics of flying reindeer and the legality of breaking into people’s homes.

 

[HelenRose]

Sorry this happened.

As a teacher I believe it is very hard for children to understand and believe the true presence of Christ and the whole resurrection story if they still believe in made up stories like Santa and the tooth fairy. Separating fact from fiction is hard for kids at this age. I think kids that still believe in myths like these probably should not be receiving Communion.

In my experience kids know (or want to know) the truth about Santa by first grade.

I agree. Children don’t ask if they don’t want the truth. Finding a gentle way to explain is important. I could explain the difference between magic and faith however. They understood this at a very young age. They were allowed to believe in magic as long as they wanted to. But they knew the difference. They also knew that I would not lie to them.

 

[Allegra]

I’m a teacher and I wouldn’t take it upon myself to tell high school children that Santa isn’t real, much less 3rd graders! Bad form, lady!

 

[UbiCaritas]

I’m a teacher and I wouldn’t take it upon myself to tell high school children that Santa isn’t real, much less 3rd graders! Bad form, lady!

Not a teacher, but I should think that “Miss, is Santa real?” is one of the top-ten Worst Teaching Scenarios out there.

 

[Teelynn]

This is how I handled with my children when they asked about Santa Claus.

I said, “Santa Claus is magic. When you start asking questions about magic, the magic disappears. Jesus is real, a matter of faith. When you start asking about faith, faith increases.”

They never asked me about Santa again. But as they grew older, we have had wonderful discussions about Jesus.

This is a good approach, I do believe. When they are ready parents need to take an approach like this or similar to explain. I have always thought myself, even as an adult that Christmas was a mystical special time, and I realize not everyone feels that way, and I certainly do not agree with some that if kids believe in Santa they can’t really believe in the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharist and shouldn’t receive Communion! As evidence with my older grandchildren, that hasn’t at all held true to form, either when they still believed or when they became aware of no real Santa bringing presents.

 

[Mary_Estelle]

A lump of coal for that teacher! First of all St Nickelas is a wonderful legend based on the true accounts of St. Nickolas, the Bishop. Over time myth and embellishments have been added to the historical and saintly account of “Good o;’ St. Nick”

Remember that many Rel. ed. teachers are volunteers that are not steeped in theology, phycology or even good sense at times. Perhaps you could sit down. and tell her the true meaning of Advent and the real story of Saint Nickolas and THAN suggests way to make Christmas meaningful to others-the poor-the homeless-the elderly-the sick. What a wonderful teaching tool sat before you! the child and you can now be “Saintas helpers.” Make light of what the Rel. Ed. said, but go heavy on the message of Advent. ALL education starts in the home…be a good teacher yourself.

Second: Any nine year old is going to figure it out sooner than later. Kids cry. Adults cry. All of us cry at some time. You can not protect a child forever, but you can ease all the bumps and bruises. Love and compassion make a good Band Aid. By this time next year the pain/suffering will be healed if you take the view that “this too will pass.” By the way, do you need my address for my own lump of coal? I hear it is gonna be a cold winter.

 

[Phemie]

I’m a teacher and I wouldn’t take it upon myself to tell high school children that Santa isn’t real, much less 3rd graders! Bad form, lady!

I knew one family where the youngest believed in Santa in junior high. Her parents went to great lengths to keep her believing and she was very upset with her classmates who didn’t believe. Personally I always thought that was setting her up to be the butt of merciless teasing but “not my kid, not my decision.”

I didn’t grow up with the Santa myth. In my family, Baby Jesus filled the stockings. Everything else came fron humans with names.