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buc_fan33
Guest
Thank you.
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maxblade81
Guest
buc_fan,
I am going to attempt to empathize sympathize and advize here (spelling done for emphasis, bear with me folks!) I spent 21 years celebate and when I lost my virginity (out of wedlock mind you) I felt more empty then I had before…not because the experience wasn’t fun (it wasn’t) and not because she didn’t mean anything to me (she didn’t) but more that I had expected something in me to change (it didn’t).
The fundamental biological “imperative” of a being is to procreate. There is the science. The Catholic prespective is to bring forth new life to serve and honor the Lord. The desire to have sex has absolutely nothing to do with God in the basic sense, as you can read from this I am not an apologist. In God’s perfect design, we humans were gifted with something absolutely amazing…the ability to enjoy sex. Believe it or not, this is not something afforded to all of his creatures (save Dolphins perhaps). And this can be proven by the human desire having no regard for procreation in the basic sense. Animals do not have sex with other animals if they are not “programmed” to by their relative fertility state. So in that, we can safely say that the desire to have sex is the gift God gave us, not the act itself (which most people can tell you is RARELY like the rocket launches we see on TV and in movies).
So to break from your desire to have sex and to focus on the real issue at hand, which is your vocation. I will tell you that for me personally, I sought the question with hesitation (should I become a priest?). The hesitation for me was not sex itself but the mortgages and the “ball and chain”, which was referenced in a previous post using a different vernacular. For you though, I am noticing that your hesitation is not wether or not you can fulfill the ideals of the Priesthood, but rather wether or not the experience of sex might in of itself prove to be a more compelling offer.
Someone in the post did mention that you will always want more. This is more true than anything else. But the concept of it taking different forms doesn’t help your situation. I am married now and we are expecting a child. Allah be praised (sorry, currently learning Turkish so I call the Boss different names then most Catholics, but if you have looked into Islam at all you will note that Allah and Ywyh are both the God of Abraham). I still want to have sex with my wife, nothing ever changes that…no moon alignment, rough day, or even having taken part in the act itself. Ebbs and Flows, someone mentioned, but the desire itself never waines because God’s gift of enjoying the act of inducing the biological imperative is still there.
For you I offer a completely different “Holy Cow that chick is HOT” take into account the words of my God Father: “When I was in the Army, I was once stationed at a place where the Boss had a secretary who love and deserved all the attention she got. She wore provacative clothing and walked with that oh so wonderful bounce. All the soldiers around me would chime in with their inner most desires. To keep myself focused I would simply thank God for making such a beautiful Woman to compliment such a beautiful world. I would marvel in the majesty of God’s artistic flair and by the time I was done thanking God for all his wonderous things she had already been back in the office and the boys back to their work…”
The desire for sex drives all humans, but the desire itself is God’s gift. God, in his absolute love for us, gave us the desire and the enjoyment of the act that would bring to this world another little person destined to follow his word and love him.
The task of a Priest is to guide his followers and to help us understand his faith better, to know God is to love God. A Priest holds a position that is not meant to achieve worldy desires, but to serve as a beacon for other’s to follow. If God intended to have all Priest to not have that desire…wouldn’t he castrate them to some degree? There is a reason and I do not know it. But to understand the desire for sex and still turn away can, and does forever improve your ability to help others.
Think of a smoker who quits…what do they do? They try to get everyone else to quit. Not because they don’t still desire to have that glorious puff of smoke and to feel the slight euphoria and instant acceptance of those other smokers (I do), but because they have seen that there is another path, a more “wholey” path (if you will forgive my play on words). As a former smoker, and as person who has had sex I can DEFINATELY tell you there are similiarities. Sex is not a bad thing, and neither is a good cigar…but anything in excess is inherently evil (even the Bible says that one). But our temptation/desire for it is not evil.
Everyone carries a cross, everyone sins, and everyone longs for something else. For me, I wish they could make a cancer free cigarette, a key lime pie that made you lose weight, and a 25th hour in the day that was devoted to playing video games and lasted 9999 minutes. These are all worldy desires, and as a conduit of guide, lay person or priest, we are charged with the important task of bringing other’s closer to Christ. My job as a married person is to bring up my children as best as I can in Light, as a priest… your job is to teach me how to teach them, so that one day they may teach others…as lay people or priests. Sex in of itself is not wrong, the desire is the gift, and sometimes our job in life means that we sacrifice luxuries and carry a different cross.
I pray for you and all who have been given the charge of Priesthood. We need help in this day and age and I am just too busy paying the mortgage, learning Turkish, and serving in the military to go to school to learn not only the wonderous treasures and understandings that can be found through being a Priest.
Good luck, God speed, and keep your head down!
Matt Williams, SSgt, USAF
I am going to attempt to empathize sympathize and advize here (spelling done for emphasis, bear with me folks!) I spent 21 years celebate and when I lost my virginity (out of wedlock mind you) I felt more empty then I had before…not because the experience wasn’t fun (it wasn’t) and not because she didn’t mean anything to me (she didn’t) but more that I had expected something in me to change (it didn’t).
The fundamental biological “imperative” of a being is to procreate. There is the science. The Catholic prespective is to bring forth new life to serve and honor the Lord. The desire to have sex has absolutely nothing to do with God in the basic sense, as you can read from this I am not an apologist. In God’s perfect design, we humans were gifted with something absolutely amazing…the ability to enjoy sex. Believe it or not, this is not something afforded to all of his creatures (save Dolphins perhaps). And this can be proven by the human desire having no regard for procreation in the basic sense. Animals do not have sex with other animals if they are not “programmed” to by their relative fertility state. So in that, we can safely say that the desire to have sex is the gift God gave us, not the act itself (which most people can tell you is RARELY like the rocket launches we see on TV and in movies).
So to break from your desire to have sex and to focus on the real issue at hand, which is your vocation. I will tell you that for me personally, I sought the question with hesitation (should I become a priest?). The hesitation for me was not sex itself but the mortgages and the “ball and chain”, which was referenced in a previous post using a different vernacular. For you though, I am noticing that your hesitation is not wether or not you can fulfill the ideals of the Priesthood, but rather wether or not the experience of sex might in of itself prove to be a more compelling offer.
Someone in the post did mention that you will always want more. This is more true than anything else. But the concept of it taking different forms doesn’t help your situation. I am married now and we are expecting a child. Allah be praised (sorry, currently learning Turkish so I call the Boss different names then most Catholics, but if you have looked into Islam at all you will note that Allah and Ywyh are both the God of Abraham). I still want to have sex with my wife, nothing ever changes that…no moon alignment, rough day, or even having taken part in the act itself. Ebbs and Flows, someone mentioned, but the desire itself never waines because God’s gift of enjoying the act of inducing the biological imperative is still there.
For you I offer a completely different “Holy Cow that chick is HOT” take into account the words of my God Father: “When I was in the Army, I was once stationed at a place where the Boss had a secretary who love and deserved all the attention she got. She wore provacative clothing and walked with that oh so wonderful bounce. All the soldiers around me would chime in with their inner most desires. To keep myself focused I would simply thank God for making such a beautiful Woman to compliment such a beautiful world. I would marvel in the majesty of God’s artistic flair and by the time I was done thanking God for all his wonderous things she had already been back in the office and the boys back to their work…”
The desire for sex drives all humans, but the desire itself is God’s gift. God, in his absolute love for us, gave us the desire and the enjoyment of the act that would bring to this world another little person destined to follow his word and love him.
The task of a Priest is to guide his followers and to help us understand his faith better, to know God is to love God. A Priest holds a position that is not meant to achieve worldy desires, but to serve as a beacon for other’s to follow. If God intended to have all Priest to not have that desire…wouldn’t he castrate them to some degree? There is a reason and I do not know it. But to understand the desire for sex and still turn away can, and does forever improve your ability to help others.
Think of a smoker who quits…what do they do? They try to get everyone else to quit. Not because they don’t still desire to have that glorious puff of smoke and to feel the slight euphoria and instant acceptance of those other smokers (I do), but because they have seen that there is another path, a more “wholey” path (if you will forgive my play on words). As a former smoker, and as person who has had sex I can DEFINATELY tell you there are similiarities. Sex is not a bad thing, and neither is a good cigar…but anything in excess is inherently evil (even the Bible says that one). But our temptation/desire for it is not evil.
Everyone carries a cross, everyone sins, and everyone longs for something else. For me, I wish they could make a cancer free cigarette, a key lime pie that made you lose weight, and a 25th hour in the day that was devoted to playing video games and lasted 9999 minutes. These are all worldy desires, and as a conduit of guide, lay person or priest, we are charged with the important task of bringing other’s closer to Christ. My job as a married person is to bring up my children as best as I can in Light, as a priest… your job is to teach me how to teach them, so that one day they may teach others…as lay people or priests. Sex in of itself is not wrong, the desire is the gift, and sometimes our job in life means that we sacrifice luxuries and carry a different cross.
I pray for you and all who have been given the charge of Priesthood. We need help in this day and age and I am just too busy paying the mortgage, learning Turkish, and serving in the military to go to school to learn not only the wonderous treasures and understandings that can be found through being a Priest.
Good luck, God speed, and keep your head down!
Matt Williams, SSgt, USAF
S
Shlomey
Guest
Here’s my take on the issue.
I am also considering the religious life. However, I have already lost my virginity and let this be said: it is easier to avoid something that you have not yet known, than to know the joys of sin and then afterwards try to avoid it. I know of the “fun” of lust. It is not easy…
But in the end, do we not all pray “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”
Furthermore, sex satisfies only for a couple of minutes.
These minutes are nothing compared to eternity with love, that is God.
I am also considering the religious life. However, I have already lost my virginity and let this be said: it is easier to avoid something that you have not yet known, than to know the joys of sin and then afterwards try to avoid it. I know of the “fun” of lust. It is not easy…
But in the end, do we not all pray “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”
Furthermore, sex satisfies only for a couple of minutes.
These minutes are nothing compared to eternity with love, that is God.
A
Adoro_Te_Devote
Guest
Buc_Fan, I’m going to be very blunt.
I’m a woman, but in this regard, we aren’t different. We are sexual beings, and you and I have BOTH been taught that sex is sacred, no matter what the secular world wants to tell us. TOB is helpful, and has helped me to properly adjust my views. It should be helpful to you, too.
Unfortunately, I was take in by the culture even after Mom taught me the facts and the sacredness of the act.
First…you’re not missing anything. Second…you may be willing to lose your OWN soul for a passing moment of passion, but are you willing to destroy the soul of another? Take a HARD look at this, because that’s EXACTLY what you’ll be doing.
If so, then you’d better rethink priesthood. If you don’t have a zeal for souls, then you’re going to have a tough discernment. ( Don’t answer me…this is rhetorical and something to bring to your SD. I don’t want to discourage your Vocation, just challenge your very bad thought process here).
If you want to pleasure your second brain for something fleeting involving eternal damage for both you and the other you use (and who uses you), well…you have free will. But it’s not worth it. I know from experience.
Thirdly…once you do the deed, the images will never go away, the feelings won’t go away, and you will forever find yourself in Confession wishing you could erase memories that will serve as your temporal punishment. Those images come back as temptations, tortures, etc.
Oh, and if a child is conceived…welcome to parenthood, goodbye to priesthood.
On the contrary…this is one of the most profound random things I came across from a modern priest:
“Jesus comes to His people through my fingers…” (Enter profound humility and amazement…)
THAT is eternal Fatherhood. To bring Christ through your fingers, through a special calling, a special annointing, to be a Father unlike a biological Father, a TRUE Father in a world of sexual license that doesn’t even have a valid impression of Fatherhood…
Choose well. Maybe you are called to marriage. That is wonderful, if so! Discuss these things with your SD, but I BEG you…don’t go out out looking for a sexual experience for its own sake. It’s not an experience to be “had”.
Read Hosea, read Jeremiah, and look at all the comparisons to adultery…and God’s response. Do you love God…or yourself?
I’m a woman, but in this regard, we aren’t different. We are sexual beings, and you and I have BOTH been taught that sex is sacred, no matter what the secular world wants to tell us. TOB is helpful, and has helped me to properly adjust my views. It should be helpful to you, too.
Unfortunately, I was take in by the culture even after Mom taught me the facts and the sacredness of the act.
First…you’re not missing anything. Second…you may be willing to lose your OWN soul for a passing moment of passion, but are you willing to destroy the soul of another? Take a HARD look at this, because that’s EXACTLY what you’ll be doing.
If so, then you’d better rethink priesthood. If you don’t have a zeal for souls, then you’re going to have a tough discernment. ( Don’t answer me…this is rhetorical and something to bring to your SD. I don’t want to discourage your Vocation, just challenge your very bad thought process here).
If you want to pleasure your second brain for something fleeting involving eternal damage for both you and the other you use (and who uses you), well…you have free will. But it’s not worth it. I know from experience.
Thirdly…once you do the deed, the images will never go away, the feelings won’t go away, and you will forever find yourself in Confession wishing you could erase memories that will serve as your temporal punishment. Those images come back as temptations, tortures, etc.
Oh, and if a child is conceived…welcome to parenthood, goodbye to priesthood.
On the contrary…this is one of the most profound random things I came across from a modern priest:
“Jesus comes to His people through my fingers…” (Enter profound humility and amazement…)
THAT is eternal Fatherhood. To bring Christ through your fingers, through a special calling, a special annointing, to be a Father unlike a biological Father, a TRUE Father in a world of sexual license that doesn’t even have a valid impression of Fatherhood…
Choose well. Maybe you are called to marriage. That is wonderful, if so! Discuss these things with your SD, but I BEG you…don’t go out out looking for a sexual experience for its own sake. It’s not an experience to be “had”.
Read Hosea, read Jeremiah, and look at all the comparisons to adultery…and God’s response. Do you love God…or yourself?
1
1234
Guest
Any updates, Buc?
Most men greatly value sex as they can achieve orgasm easily. Many women require sexual experience with a single, trusted parter before they are able to achieve orgasm.
You’re a man and have had enough experience to know that sex is very pleasurable. It is natural for both men and women to desire sex, companionship, a home, a family, and to be a member of an extended family. You will have to sacrifice all of this to be a Catholic priest.
Rome is not going to change its mind about this. The priesthood in the US is going to continue to be very short-staffed and overworked.
In the past, and I think especially among poor immigrant families, the special nature of the priesthood, its prestige, the power to ‘bind and loose’,the power of the mass, the rituals, the Latin-- had a special appeal, as in James Joyce’s “Portrait of the Artist…”. Now, with greater opportunities for everyone, I suspect that a lot of this appeal has broken down.
If you are attracted to the service aspects of the priesthood, you can fill many of these roles as a layman. If you manage to marry a women with a lucrative career who can support you both psychologically and monetarily, you can do it without being paid much, and can have a satisying life with a happy career, marriage, and children.
I suspect that not a few Catholic laymen interested in the priesthood are looking into joining one of the eastern rite churches, with a view down the line of entering a seminary–and being able to marry.
T
Trilor
Guest
I find the very concept of sex to be repulsive, so for me celibacy is easy. I’ll pray for vocational clarity for you 
J
juan_math_geek
Guest
Fill yourself with a desire to bring souls to Christ! Get busy with apostolate! It is wonderful to relate to people, a great adventure to initiate conversations friend after friend, soul after soul, and giving Christ that chance, through your words and actions, for others around you to encounter Him. Isn’t that what the priesthood and spiritual fatherhood is about after all? Learn about their situation, their problems, joys, loves, sorrows, ambitions, dreams, and teach them to bring everything for Jesus. Think of the Eucharist how He waits… and find a friend each week to join you and adore.
It is really a great wonderful exciting adventure, with many surprises, and definitely fulfilling. Raise your imaginations, feelings by actually doing it, form discussion groups among your friends, neighbors, to talk about the Catechism, or the Pope’s message etc. or go on special missions to the poor, sick, needy, homeless. There should be no time left to wonder whether you are missing out on a lot from sex! (you know of course that you are not)
Don’t miss out on the great adventure of apostolate. One soul after another… make a list of all your friends and see how Christ has placed you with respect to each of them. Perhaps he wants them to meet Him but through you… and maybe some of them only have you to bring Him to them (though they don’t know it) so why wait?
You must practice this, even now, as you discern even before you have formalized your commitment to celibacy, because otherwise temptations surely will come. Intensify your apostolic activity.
The days I had the greatest resistance, the most steadfast rejection of temptations in purity were days when I had for some reason been involved relating to others and planning and having wonderful things to do and to serve together with them.
The days when purity was extremely difficult were times of idleness, procrastination, or the absence of apostolic desire.
Bring Him to your imagination. His Spouse, the Mystical Body, is to be your Spouse too, Holy Mother the Church, and so you will have to learn how to have that spousal relationship, the desire to love a partner singularly, learn it from Christ.
The struggle for purity works out only if it is an active struggle - and it shouldn’t be the most important thing either, probably should come 4 or 5th place among your spiritual concerns. First place should be Charity, the desire to bring Christ to souls and to bring souls to Christ. This is should be the context of the discernment, not trying to overcome the anxiety of that sacrifice, of feeling emptied (deprived) of physical pleasure.
Sorry if I’m not making sense / if this reply is just now too long and perhaps emotion-driven. But I just wanted to point out that there is a profound noble desire and a very exciting adventure in becoming a shepherd of souls. Struggle positively!
It is really a great wonderful exciting adventure, with many surprises, and definitely fulfilling. Raise your imaginations, feelings by actually doing it, form discussion groups among your friends, neighbors, to talk about the Catechism, or the Pope’s message etc. or go on special missions to the poor, sick, needy, homeless. There should be no time left to wonder whether you are missing out on a lot from sex! (you know of course that you are not)
Don’t miss out on the great adventure of apostolate. One soul after another… make a list of all your friends and see how Christ has placed you with respect to each of them. Perhaps he wants them to meet Him but through you… and maybe some of them only have you to bring Him to them (though they don’t know it) so why wait?
You must practice this, even now, as you discern even before you have formalized your commitment to celibacy, because otherwise temptations surely will come. Intensify your apostolic activity.
The days I had the greatest resistance, the most steadfast rejection of temptations in purity were days when I had for some reason been involved relating to others and planning and having wonderful things to do and to serve together with them.
The days when purity was extremely difficult were times of idleness, procrastination, or the absence of apostolic desire.
Bring Him to your imagination. His Spouse, the Mystical Body, is to be your Spouse too, Holy Mother the Church, and so you will have to learn how to have that spousal relationship, the desire to love a partner singularly, learn it from Christ.
The struggle for purity works out only if it is an active struggle - and it shouldn’t be the most important thing either, probably should come 4 or 5th place among your spiritual concerns. First place should be Charity, the desire to bring Christ to souls and to bring souls to Christ. This is should be the context of the discernment, not trying to overcome the anxiety of that sacrifice, of feeling emptied (deprived) of physical pleasure.
Sorry if I’m not making sense / if this reply is just now too long and perhaps emotion-driven. But I just wanted to point out that there is a profound noble desire and a very exciting adventure in becoming a shepherd of souls. Struggle positively!
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