Response to a non-viable pregnancy

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Binary said:
Please keep my sister and her husband in your prayers. A few days ago they went to get a sonogram to determine the sex of their baby, and (I don’t have the exact details) tests revealed that the baby does not have a brain, or at least, so little brain matter that there is no possibility that it could survive outside the womb.

Sometime this week my sister is planning on having an operation to remove the fetus. I can’t imagine that this would qualify as an abortion or would otherwise be immoral. I doubt my sister cares much for what the church teaches anymore, but if she asks me about it, I’d like to give her an intelligent response on why she was justified in doing what she did. Can anyone help me out?
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I just read this post and the thread, so I do not know what has taken place, if your sister has already had the D&C. I am so sorry for the torment this causes you and your family. I’m also sorry that your faith is weak (paraphrasing my thoughts concerning the learned helplessness and disdain you have expressed for the church). Someone in my parish recently experienced a situation like this. The mother was able to have her baby baptized and they had a funeral. The remains of the baby from a D&C are generally considered hazardous waste and there would be no baby to hold.

I think that unless your sister directly asks you if it is wrong, you should probably just be there to listen to her fears and tell her how much you love her. Tell her that a baby that kicks is living and has a soul. She is probably smart enough to know the rest. What she needs from you is love. For ethics, she should talk to a priest.

God Bless You and if you can, please let us know how this turns out.
 
Thanks. For what it’s worth, I asked a moderator to delete this thread about a week ago, because while I have received some excellent guidance here, my posts have not been… spiritually edifying for others to read, to put it lightly.

I haven’t been able to get in touch with my sister since whenever I made this thread. Last monday? I know that despite my lashing out as I have, a lot of you are prayer for my sister, and I thank you for it.
 
Binary said:
Thanks. For what it’s worth, I asked a moderator to delete this thread about a week ago, because while I have received some excellent guidance here, my posts have not been… spiritually edifying for others to read, to put it lightly.

I haven’t been able to get in touch with my sister since whenever I made this thread. Last monday? I know that despite my lashing out as I have, a lot of you are prayer for my sister, and I thank you for it.
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I sent this information to Julian Peters. I hope that the thread will be closed per your wishes.

Again, God Bless You.
 
For those of you who asked, I spoke with my aunt and learned that my sister had an abortion today. Please keep my family in your prayers. Thanks.
 
Binary said:
Thanks. For what it’s worth, I asked a moderator to delete this thread about a week ago, because while I have received some excellent guidance here, my posts have not been… spiritually edifying for others to read, to put it lightly.

I haven’t been able to get in touch with my sister since whenever I made this thread. Last monday? I know that despite my lashing out as I have, a lot of you are prayer for my sister, and I thank you for it.
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I’m so sorry. Will definitely be keeping you all in my prayers. Maybe at some point your sister could contact one of the ministries but probably right now she just needs prayers most of all. And we don’t know her moral state considering the stress she was under, and God is merciful. Hopefully she will come to a point somewhere down the line where she can realize that He grieves with her and wants to heal her.

As for your own emotional and spiritual needs as a family member and witness to all of these heartbreaking events: Someone may have already pointed this out, but at the risk of repeating, know that if you need to vent, God can take it - the prophets themselves expressed their anger at Him at times. Sometimes the most effective prayers are our tears rather than our words. Or even a shout of rage - because it’s like we’re saying “God, I want to believe in Your goodness and that You won’t give us more than we can bear *but right now I’m having a really hard time believing that.”
*
God bless you.
 
Binary said:
For those of you who asked, I spoke with my aunt and learned that my sister had an abortion today. Please keep my family in your prayers. Thanks.
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Absolutely. Prayers–for family and the baby also.
 
Binary said:
Please keep my sister and her husband in your prayers. A few days ago they went to get a sonogram to determine the sex of their baby, and (I don’t have the exact details) tests revealed that the baby does not have a brain, or at least, so little brain matter that there is no possibility that it could survive outside the womb.

Sometime this week my sister is planning on having an operation to remove the fetus. I can’t imagine that this would qualify as an abortion or would otherwise be immoral. I doubt my sister cares much for what the church teaches anymore, but if she asks me about it, I’d like to give her an intelligent response on why she was justified in doing what she did. Can anyone help me out?
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I have not read the entire thread, but I wanted to tell you that my heart goes out to you and your family. My parents have a friend whose granddaughter was born with just a “stem” for a brain. I’m not sure if this was the same diagnosis, but it sounds very similar. The doctors said that she wouldn’t past a year, but miraculously, she lived for about 7 years, although the last few months of her life were very difficult and was only about 17 lbs by the time she passed away and not the size of a 7-year-old. I never met her, but my parents said she was a beautiful little girl. You wouldn’t know just by looking at her that she had no real brain. She couldn’t talk and couldn’t see and apparently would smile when her family would hug and kiss her. They loved her tremendously and despite how difficult it was for them, they were completely devoted to her.

On the other end, I had a friend whose relatives found out that their baby had no skull. I can’t remember the name of this condition. The mother couldn’t give birth vaginally because it would automatically kill the baby for obvious reasons. But she also couldn’t give birth via c-section due to an accident she had years earlier. They agonized over this and went to their priest for help. After considering all the information, his counsel was to abort the baby. That broke my heart. Now, I didn’t know all the information surrounding this, so perhaps there was a truly valid reason and don’t want to think ill of the priest who counseled this.

I pray for your niece/nephew and especially for your sister and brother-in-law. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for them and for your entire family.
 
Binary said:
For those of you who asked, I spoke with my aunt and learned that my sister had an abortion today. Please keep my family in your prayers. Thanks.
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I just saw this after posting my initial post. I am so sorry. My prayers are with you and your family.
 
My prayers go out to you and your family, and of course your sister’s baby.
 
Binary said:
Please keep my sister and her husband in your prayers. A few days ago they went to get a sonogram to determine the sex of their baby, and (I don’t have the exact details) tests revealed that the baby does not have a brain, or at least, so little brain matter that there is no possibility that it could survive outside the womb.
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A baby without a brain is not alive. There is obviously some brain matter present in your sister’s case.
Sometime this week my sister is planning on having an operation to remove the fetus. I can’t imagine that this would qualify as an abortion or would otherwise be immoral.
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The Church most definitely considers this situation an abortion. It is a difficult situation, and I wish you and your family the best.
 
Binary said:
For those of you who asked, I spoke with my aunt and learned that my sister had an abortion today. Please keep my family in your prayers. Thanks.
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I personally think she made the right choice. What is the point of taking a baby to term just to have it die immediately? Without the belief in God this would be completely illogical. I personally believe that if some moral issue becomes illogical without an argument using God, then it probably isn’t the right choice. I think this falls under the category.
 
JimJack, the logic without God is that ultrasound techs make mistakes. See my post above, about the little girl in my area who turned out to be perfectly fine.
 
Binary said:
For those of you who asked, I spoke with my aunt and learned that my sister had an abortion today. Please keep my family in your prayers. Thanks.
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Binary, yes indeed I will keep your sister in prayer and your whole family. I hope that she recovers quickly from the surgery. I will pray that she feels loved. If there comes a time that she feels a loss, you can suggest Rachel’s Vineyard.

God Bless you in this difficult time for your family.
 
jimjack said:
I personally think she made the right choice. What is the point of taking a baby to term just to have it die immediately?
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We’re all going to die eventually. Does that justify murder?

I advise you to read some of the stories at benotafraid.net, and then you’ll see the “point.”
 
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