S
Sojourner1989
Guest
Hello members of CAF. I have been a long time reader-only of this forum and have now begun the adventure of joining it. 
As to why Iām even here, let me start with my history. I was raised Catholic and confirmed. I then began attending a Congregational Church (non-UCC thank God) and began to live as a protestant Christian. When I went to college I joined Campus Crusade and really began to open the Bible properly for the first time. Through life experiences I began to be decidedly convinced that I was an incredible sinner and truly wondered what Jesus was asking of me to be a follower and forgiven. I wanted to be a real Christian and understand what that meant so I read the entire Bible (non-Catholic ESV) in 7-8 months. Now all of my Christian friends and respected teachers were Calvinists (4.5-5.5 if that means something to you). John Piper was our Pope more or less. I then joined staff with Campus Crusade (now Cru) and have been working with them as an intern for the last 9 months.
I live with 5 other guys and one of my roommates is studying at Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary to become a Pastor. Now I greatly respect and admire these men as people who take Jesus very seriously so when they say something I listen. So my roommate who is about to graduate from Seminary is very strong on matters of authority in regards to following the law. Now Iāve argued with him about the seemingly pointlessness of a law that the lawmakers themselves break like speeding, but I admitted that in the spirit of Christ that I must submit to authority whether I view it as pointless or not recognizing that authority comes from God.
Then a few months later, I was given the book Orthodoxy by Chesterton, which I know many of you have read, and it made a lot of sense. He brought up how the reformation released the virtues of the church in unbalanced ways where you now have the prosperity gospel, calvinism, asceticism, various iconoclasms, etc. I looked at all the varied doctrine around me and all of the clearly ludicrous interpretations of the Bible. What then struck me was that why did I think my interpretation was better than theirs? That question haunted me night after night. I came to the realization that the authority for Biblical interpretation was an assumed right that I had. I clearly believed in the Trinity and would say that anyone who doesnāt is not a Christian. However even that was based on interpretation. A Catholic one at that. (since Iāve come to realize how many Catholic theological interpretations that I hold like the Bible for instance)
So I began to look at the doctrines of the Catholic Church with which I had learned to hate like the power of the keys, absolution, infallibility, Marian dogma, free will, etc. In m y search, the first thing that I realized was that I no longer agreed with Calvinism. I couldnāt hold that people could not lose their salvation. I had seen people who had clearly been walking with God at one point proceed to walk away. Now my Calvinist friends would say that they never had the faith to begin with, and to that I say shenanigans. I had seen far too many people profess faith and walk away. Another argument was endurance of the Saints. Why do we need to pray or work for something that is guaranteed? That seems like a waste of time. When I read Psalm 51, I donāt read about someone who is just lamenting because he has done something less than ideal with no punishment. But someone who is fearfully crying for God to forgive him and not take the Holy Spirit away!!!
I began to realize my primary āprotestā against the Catholic Church was its dead people, and not its Doctrine. The only doctrine that I canāt firmly grasp is Papal Supremacy. At the moment I have more of an orthodox position on that issue. However, with Pope Francis, suddenly the issue doesnāt seem to matter. It took becoming an evangelical protestant to know what it meant to be a real Catholic. What a comedy!
My issue now is the fact that I work for an Evangelical Ministry that while strictly speaking isnāt technically anti-Catholic, practically it is. While I do believe that the Catholic Church has a fuller picture of the Gospel, clearly Godās Spirit rests on many of the members of Cru. So I am torn and twisted inside because the people in Cru are more fully living their beliefs than all of the Catholics around me, but they are not totally in the truth even though they love Jesus. I donāt wish to cause incredible division which I could easily do if I act carelessly, but at the same time, teachers are held to a higher standard and so help me God I do not want to proclaim anything less than the truth.
Thank you for reading this and for your prayers. I am not driven to despair, but I am perplexed. My current plan is to do a class for all of the Catholics and former Catholics in our Cru movement looking at the doctrines of the Catholic Church, which is never talked about in Cru. Now in the process of moving towards the truth, I dont want to teach falsely so I will probably teach straight from the CCC.
I come here looking for opinions and counsel on what to do in regards to working with Cru, the students I minister to, loving my roommates, and returning officially to Church, which I have not yet done.
Much love,
A fellow Sojourner
As to why Iām even here, let me start with my history. I was raised Catholic and confirmed. I then began attending a Congregational Church (non-UCC thank God) and began to live as a protestant Christian. When I went to college I joined Campus Crusade and really began to open the Bible properly for the first time. Through life experiences I began to be decidedly convinced that I was an incredible sinner and truly wondered what Jesus was asking of me to be a follower and forgiven. I wanted to be a real Christian and understand what that meant so I read the entire Bible (non-Catholic ESV) in 7-8 months. Now all of my Christian friends and respected teachers were Calvinists (4.5-5.5 if that means something to you). John Piper was our Pope more or less. I then joined staff with Campus Crusade (now Cru) and have been working with them as an intern for the last 9 months.
I live with 5 other guys and one of my roommates is studying at Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary to become a Pastor. Now I greatly respect and admire these men as people who take Jesus very seriously so when they say something I listen. So my roommate who is about to graduate from Seminary is very strong on matters of authority in regards to following the law. Now Iāve argued with him about the seemingly pointlessness of a law that the lawmakers themselves break like speeding, but I admitted that in the spirit of Christ that I must submit to authority whether I view it as pointless or not recognizing that authority comes from God.
Then a few months later, I was given the book Orthodoxy by Chesterton, which I know many of you have read, and it made a lot of sense. He brought up how the reformation released the virtues of the church in unbalanced ways where you now have the prosperity gospel, calvinism, asceticism, various iconoclasms, etc. I looked at all the varied doctrine around me and all of the clearly ludicrous interpretations of the Bible. What then struck me was that why did I think my interpretation was better than theirs? That question haunted me night after night. I came to the realization that the authority for Biblical interpretation was an assumed right that I had. I clearly believed in the Trinity and would say that anyone who doesnāt is not a Christian. However even that was based on interpretation. A Catholic one at that. (since Iāve come to realize how many Catholic theological interpretations that I hold like the Bible for instance)
So I began to look at the doctrines of the Catholic Church with which I had learned to hate like the power of the keys, absolution, infallibility, Marian dogma, free will, etc. In m y search, the first thing that I realized was that I no longer agreed with Calvinism. I couldnāt hold that people could not lose their salvation. I had seen people who had clearly been walking with God at one point proceed to walk away. Now my Calvinist friends would say that they never had the faith to begin with, and to that I say shenanigans. I had seen far too many people profess faith and walk away. Another argument was endurance of the Saints. Why do we need to pray or work for something that is guaranteed? That seems like a waste of time. When I read Psalm 51, I donāt read about someone who is just lamenting because he has done something less than ideal with no punishment. But someone who is fearfully crying for God to forgive him and not take the Holy Spirit away!!!
I began to realize my primary āprotestā against the Catholic Church was its dead people, and not its Doctrine. The only doctrine that I canāt firmly grasp is Papal Supremacy. At the moment I have more of an orthodox position on that issue. However, with Pope Francis, suddenly the issue doesnāt seem to matter. It took becoming an evangelical protestant to know what it meant to be a real Catholic. What a comedy!
My issue now is the fact that I work for an Evangelical Ministry that while strictly speaking isnāt technically anti-Catholic, practically it is. While I do believe that the Catholic Church has a fuller picture of the Gospel, clearly Godās Spirit rests on many of the members of Cru. So I am torn and twisted inside because the people in Cru are more fully living their beliefs than all of the Catholics around me, but they are not totally in the truth even though they love Jesus. I donāt wish to cause incredible division which I could easily do if I act carelessly, but at the same time, teachers are held to a higher standard and so help me God I do not want to proclaim anything less than the truth.
Thank you for reading this and for your prayers. I am not driven to despair, but I am perplexed. My current plan is to do a class for all of the Catholics and former Catholics in our Cru movement looking at the doctrines of the Catholic Church, which is never talked about in Cru. Now in the process of moving towards the truth, I dont want to teach falsely so I will probably teach straight from the CCC.
I come here looking for opinions and counsel on what to do in regards to working with Cru, the students I minister to, loving my roommates, and returning officially to Church, which I have not yet done.
Much love,
A fellow Sojourner
