Revenge

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Mr_Lonely

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In Romans 12:19, it says, Beloved, do not look for revenge but leave room for the wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

For those of you who may have read some of my other posts, you know that I’m going through some “stuff” right now. I look at myself right now in recovery, or attempting recovery. I strayed very far into anger. Didn’t actually do anything, but a rage overtook me so much so that I desired nothing but vengeance for those who hurt me. In fact, at one point, I only considered myself Catholic to believe in the existence in Hell hoping that those who hurt me would suffer there. Yah, I know, I was in a dark place.

My question is this…is it wrong for me to anticipate the Lord’s vengeance on others? Anyone else go through something similar? How’d you recover from it?
 
Mr_Lonely said:
My question is this…is it wrong for me to anticipate the Lord’s vengeance on others?
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Yes
Anyone else go through something similar? How’d you recover from it?
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I didn’t feel too good about it when one of the people who I was wishing for vengeance upon after he did me dirt, actually suffered a very serious work accident, almost died, and ended up paralyzed for life. Also, getting old and realizing we all end up in the grave, coupled with the passage of time since the wrong that was done, made a lot of my anger go away.

That doesn’t mean I’m rushing to make amends with people or be their buddies again (these are not members of my family or people I have to see on a regular basis and from a logical standpoint they were not healthy for me to be around) but it means I can in my heart forgive them for real. If your anger is actually at a family member or someone you see regularly then you may need to work harder on the communication and forgiveness things.

I pray for my “enemies” now. I got a Pardon Cross and say the associated prayer every time I see the cross (it’s on my rosary so I see it a lot) and say “I forgive my enemies, Lord please forgive me as I forgive them”. Do it enough times and it starts to have an effect.
 
I have found that when I actually pray for my enemies, the anger dissipates. Not always right away, but it really does work.
 
You will remain in self-imposed torment - a living hell - until and unless you learn how to, desire to, and actually let go of this millstone of anger and resentment that is around your neck. It appears that you need to talk with a priest and possibly a professional counselor.

The first thing that you can do - right now - is to humble yourself and pray for those who persecute you. Pray from the heart for their good. You might just see them change, but even better, you will change. See Matthew 5:38-48.

Isn’t that what you want?
 
po18guy said:
You will remain in self-imposed torment - a living hell - until and unless you learn how to, desire to, and actually let go of this millstone of anger and resentment that is around your neck. It appears that you need to talk with a priest and possibly a professional counselor.

The first thing that you can do - right now - is to humble yourself and pray for those who persecute you. Pray from the heart for their good. You might just see them change, but even better, you will change. See Matthew 5:38-48.

Isn’t that what you want?
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You’re right, but I am so torn.

I’m soo tired of getting beaten up in life. I hate that people wish to see me suffer. And yes, I mean that literally. I struggle to take the high road and turn the other cheek, when it seems like everything/everyone around me is against me.

No one on these boards know me personally, but I can honestly say, hand on bible I have done nothing ill-intent, or provoked to anyone. The events that have caused me to spiral into this anger were all instigated on me. I don’t understand how people instinctively, whether that be sub-consciously or not, think I am a bad person and think the worse of me.

“God, please help me…”
 
A desire for revenge is a natural part of the human condition. It is not wrong.

“Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.”
Exodus 21:24-5
 
peter26 said:
A desire for revenge is a natural part of the human condition. It is not wrong.

“Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.”
Exodus 21:24-5
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It is human, but it is still wrong to let such thoughts rule you rather than working to overcome them. Jesus taught that we should turn the other cheek and love our enemies and pray “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” He essentially overruled that old “eye for an eye” thinking.

Having said that, anger is a human emotion and sometimes it’s better to just express it in some safe environment, like a therapy session, and get it all out of your system, rather than bottling it up or suppressing it. The thing is, once you’ve worked through it, it’s time to get rid of it and not be carrying it around with you forever because it will destroy you inside.

I can see how the OP would be angry at being unjustly accused or persecuted. That would make most of us mad. And it happens to all of us sometimes. It even happened to Jesus and they killed him for a crime he didn’t commit when all he did was try to be nice to people and help people. So when people do this to us then we’re being put in the position of Jesus and our challenge is to try to be like Jesus. We’re probably going to fall short because we are not Jesus, but we can try and ask Him to help us.
 
Mr. Lonely, I am so sorry that you are enduring this. Right now, I am struggling with forgiving the person that caused one of my children to cease going to Mass.

It’s even harder when it seems like people are delighting in our suffering. I am finding that offering my suffering for the Poor Souls in Purgatory helps. You aren’t alone here. :hug1:
 
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