Revisiting baby showers, with a twist

[leonie]

I hate these threads because if you say that you don’t approve of baby showers in these situations, you are called a hypocrite and holier than thou, etc.



But, I’m going to be brave, risking the wrath of those who will brand me a self righteous prig, and express my opinion. In my opinion, baby showers are inappropriate for unwed mothers and for “in vitro” fertilizations.

because…not to punish the parents for a sin, but just to elevate the dignity of marriage as a safer place for babies.

I just think we need to preserve the special status of marriage for having children. It just seems that in society,unwed pregnancy has become very accepted.

I don’t think the baby will know if I gave my present at the hospital or in a after birth visit versus a shower. So, I quietly send my regrets and bring my presents after the baby is born or at the baptism.

I know that moms in these difficult situations need lots of support, but I just think it is better to express that support in different ways than a party.

The in vitro thing is along the same lines of logic. At the same time, I’m hoping that the parents haven’t been public with their method of conception.

In either case, I send my regrets with no explanation and plan a present for later.

btw, I have four nephews and one niece who have been born out of wedlock. I love them very, very much. And, I have been as generous or more generous with them than my nephews and nieces born in wedlock. And, I do know it’s very painful thing for grandparents who know that their grandchild and his mother will have a harder time in life.

 

[AmyS]

Well… I think it is a entirely different situation being the soon to be mom of a child out of wedlock, vs a grandparent or aunt. Grandparent is one thing, but, aunt??? Me, well my daughter was conceived out of wedlock when I was 21. Yep… I went down that road, but, had a bunch that brought me there that I am not going to go into here. The minute I found out I was pregnant I knew it was my time to turn my life around. The funny thing was I was always the good, on the straight and narrow, type kid (no alcohol, drugs, worked hard, I was in college). But, that doesn’t keep you from getting pregnant. I got plenty of comments and looks and judgements from people who knew me, and didn’t know me. But, I KNEW my daughter was a gift from God, and I KNEW what I had to do to get my life on the straight and narrow for my little angel. I think that is the way God often works. I look at her and thank him because he had bigger, better plans for me. I am so blessed.

I finished college, got a good job, all through out building up excellent credit. I bought a house for my daughter and I when she was 4. She is the love of my life, and my proof of how much God loves me. Sure it all was a cross, but, God believe in me that much. It is pretty mind boggling.

Now, I have been married to a wonderful man for almost 7 years (not her dad). My daughter has a great relationship with her biological father (whose wife is one of my best friends)… My life is good. So is my daughters. She is now 13 and the most well rounded person I have ever known. With God all things are possible.

Overall, I think the key is I kept God in our life, and sought his guidance along the was. Before I found out I was pregnant my whole family feel away from the Church a bit. My pregnancy, got us back on track. My church has always been so supportive, I am so thankful for that.

My new husband and I have not been blessed with a child of our own, I am not sure why, but I don’t feel discouraged. I will never get IVF, I don’t agree with it. I can’t place judgement on those who do though. I don’t think we know what they are going through until we have been there, and the best we can do is be supportive and pray for them. I can taste a bit of their pain because my situation with my husband now. Not everyone knows what it is like to feel “this could be it,” “could it actually be.” Only to be disappointed by your womanly cycle. I put God first, some people aren’t that strong, not that I have some iron women strength, I just know the ache. Overall, babies should always be celebrated.

 

[mizznicole]

While reading this I was thinking about how Jesus went to parties with sinners. They knew what he taught, they knew he spoke the truth, and they still wanted to be around him. Shouldn’t this be our model? Or how about the Father who runs out to the prodigal child while he was still “a long way off”?

There’s got to be a way for us to stand for the truth while still “prodigiously” loving. Pray for prudence and you won’t go wrong.