Roman dating Byzantine Catholic help

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confusedcatholicgirl

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Hey! I grew up Roman Catholic and been engaged for a few months now to a guy who is also Roman Catholic but wants to transition rites into Byzantine. Im fine with this, since they are in communion with each other, but he’s been talking about how he wants to become a married priest, since that rite allowed you to do that. (He was discerning Roman Catholic priesthood before we started dating). Having grown up a Roman Catholic, knowing I would be married to a priest seems wrong to be. Should I feel that way? Opinions, please!
Thank, AJ
 
I don’t think it’s wrong for you to feel that way; it’s just that you are not accustomed to the idea of married priests.

It was not allowed in the US for a very long time; it’s only fairly recently that it’s once again being allowed.

May I ask if your fiancee is genuinely interested in the Byzantine Rite?
 
Married priests are allowed in the Eastern rites and in a few select cases in the Roman rite. We probably can’t tell you how you should feel about it but we can tell you it is perfectly legitimate in the eyes of the Church.

Good luck whatever happens!!!
 
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seems a little bit strange

why would a roman rite catholic engaged to a roman rite decide to become a “byzantine” priest?

is your fiancee prepared to undergo theological training in the “byzantine” church ; go to “byzantine” seminary & support a family in the meantime?

hmmm…
 
He is interested in the Byzantine right! He loves the traditions and has been wanting to do the transferral of rites for a while now!
 
confusedcatholicgirl said:
Having grown up a Roman Catholic, knowing I would be married to a priest seems wrong to be. Should I feel that way? Opinions, please!
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The Church does not feel wrong about that; therefore, no, you should not feel wrong about that.

Expand your horizons beyond the Roman Rite Church - there are 23 other Churches in the Catholic Church.
 
Thank you! This makes me feel a lot better, actually!
 
Have you attended an Eastern Catholic church yet? Do you know if there are any married priests that you could talk to? It might give you a better insight into the life of a married priests family. At my church or priest is married and has children and grand children who attend Divine Liturgy.
 
Chaz_G said:
Have you attended an Eastern Catholic church yet? Do you know if there are any married priests that you could talk to? It might
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Definitely @confusedcatholicgirl.

Familiarize yourself with the most venerable and ancient Byzantine/Constantinipolitan Rite (in both its Greek and Slavic usages) - it is the second largest, most widespread Rite in all of Christendom (behind the Roman Rite of course).

It cannot be overstated how important it is for a Catholic to familiarize themselves with the Eastern Rites - ESPECIALLY the Byzantine Rite. (The other families of Rites are the Coptic/Alexandrian which also flows into the Ethiopic and Eritrean usages. The Armenian Rite. The West-Syrian/Antiochian Rites. The East-Syrian/Chaldean/Indian Rites.)

These 6 families of Rites are what all 24 Catholic, all 14 Eastern Orthodox, all 6 Oriental Orthodox, and the 1 Assyrian Catholic Christian Churches use. These 4 Apostolic Communions of Christian Churches comprise about 1.6 billion of all the worlds 2.4 billion Christians (the other 800 million of course being the other Western descended Protestant Christian Churches.)

It’s pretty important for a Catholic who wants to have a truly Catholic - wholesome, universal - understanding of Christianity to understand this stuff.
 
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confusedcatholicgirl said:
he’s been talking about how he wants to become a married priest, since that rite allowed you to do that. (He was discerning Roman Catholic priesthood before we started dating).
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He should be talking to bishops and seminary directors.
The idea of a person changing rites so that they can marry and still become a priest may be seen as an impediment to transfer or ordination. It would be preferable that an interest in a particular church is the well-rooted origin of the desire to transfer.
 
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dvdjs said:
He should be talking to bishops and seminary directors.
The idea of a person changing rites so that they can marry and still become a priest may be seen as an impediment to transfer or ordination. It would be preferable that an interest in a particular church is the well-rooted origin of the desire to transfer.
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I agree, well said.
 
Yes, I do not believe he will be allowed to transfer rites in order to be a priest. I thoight in general changing rites is not that easy.
 
A roman rite catholic man isn’t allowed to switch rites to bypass the law against being a married priest. I doubt his bishop will allow it and I doubt that the Byzantines would accept him given that his reason is to be a married priest. Since he’s roman now he should remain roman. If he is discerning the religious life he should do so in seminary and take a break from relationships. Not switch rites. He needs to talk to his priest.

Idk why this is true but I heard father Mitch say it on ewtn once
 
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At least until recently, Roman baptism was an absolute bar to Eastern ordination after marriage.

Even unmarried, there is a minimum period of active membership in a Byzantine parish before clerical discernment (3 years? five years?). Note that it appears that this period can start before formal change of rite (personally, I’ve been active more than a decade and haven’t changed rites).

It may be the case that with the changes in which Pope Francis lifted the wrongful limits on EC ordaining married men that the absolute bar is gone. However, even lifted, changing rites for purpose of ordination will not lead to ordination.

hawk
 
Before discerning any sort of priest vocation, I think it would be important if he took a look into the rite to get used to it and to find out if he really would like to switch first.
 
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You will be fine. I am Byzantine Catholic and have never even dated another Catholic. Be glad you ran into him. My mother is Byzantine Catholic and my father was Roman Catholic. He switched to Byzantine after they got married.

Dating is hard for us Byzantine Catholics. Roman Catholics often fear dating us like we are super different, but we are not.
 
My father also switched when he married my mother. But he wasn’t considering religious life!
 
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Are you religious enough to be able to cope being married to a priest? A priest’s family requires a lot of sacrifice from the wife since, even though he’s married, he has to put the Church first and the family second. This leaves the wife pretty much in charge of the family many times. For example on holidays there will be very little time left for the family since he has a lot of rituals and activities within the church. When we go from church home on Christmas and Easter and have the main fun there a priest will come home more tired and after all things he has to do around that time of year. It is something worth considering too.
 
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