Rural parish placement; what to expect?

[1Lord1Faith]

My worry is that I just don’t “speak rural.” It’s a very different way of relating that I sometimes find offputting, and I wouldn’t doubt that they might find my way of relating somewhat offputting as well.

When in Rome. Anyway, you’ll sink or swim, don’t worry about it.

And as @BartholomewB said, you may be being placed there because it’s an opportunity for you to grow in an area where you are not strong. That is just a standard practice for turning out a well rounded person.

 

[CatholicBlobfish]

My worry is that I just don’t “speak rural.” It’s a very different way of relating that I sometimes find offputting, and I wouldn’t doubt that they might find my way of relating somewhat offputting as well.

This could well be a reason behind assigning you to this place, so you can learn to relate better to us rednecks. I’m from a pretty rural parish, the only Catholic church in my county, actually, without another one for 40 miles in any direction. Our liturgy as actually really solid, with lots of Latin and lots of chant. You may be surprised by what you find at a church out in the boonies.

 

[BartholomewB]

My worry is that I just don’t “speak rural.” It’s a very different way of relating that I sometimes find offputting, and I wouldn’t doubt that they might find my way of relating somewhat offputting as well.

I would hazard the guess that this is exactly the reason why they decided to assign you to that rural parish. They want to see how well you adapt to an environment that you’re inclined to find uncongenial. They’re offering you this opportunity for you to reassure them that they have nothing to worry about.

 

[puer.dei]

My worry is that I just don’t “speak rural.” It’s a very different way of relating that I sometimes find offputting, and I wouldn’t doubt that they might find my way of relating somewhat offputting as well.

Maybe that’s why you’re being sent there, to learn to relate to people who are outside your comfort zone. A priest has to be able to relate to all his parishioners, not just those who are like him.

 

[do_justly_love_mercy]

Has it occurred to you that you may have been sent to this parish because your tutors want you to experience something outside your comfort zone? You say that your previous career was as a teacher. I have a friend who teaches on a teacher training program. She has commented that she sometimes sends her students to schools that she knows will challenge them. If somebody’s experience has been limited to highly academic elite private schools, they may benefit from a placement in a more challenging public school. Or vice versa, of course.

The other way to look at this is to ask what you can bring to the parish. If you have particular skills, you can see this as an opportunity to share them.

Overall, I find your post a bit depressing. I’m afraid you give the impression that your main interests are in a very specific liturgical tradition. As a priest, your job will not just be celebrating the Extraordinary Form Mass, perfecting your chant, studying liturgical music, etc. You will have to be willing to minister to all kinds of people in all kinds of parishes. You can’t just decide that you don’t want to serve among rural folks who don’t share your somewhat niche liturgical preferences.

 

[Irishmom2]

My reaction proves nothing except that you really need to think about your words before you speak.

You have no idea where I live, and if you suspected it is a rural area, you are wrong. Your tone is simply one of negativity.

 

[puer.dei]

Yes, I am. And I think your reaction proves my point, madam.

Actually, your reaction proves our point. Perhaps you don’t mean to, but your last two posts come across as very “I’m too good for these people.” And riding in on your high horse will not go well in any parish, country or city.

 

[Jbrady]

Neither you nor I nor anybody will find every person or situation agreeable, and little is likely to change that. That, I dare say, is what is at issue here.

What’s at issue here is that you seem to be valuing yourself, and your strengths and personal preferences, rather highly, while being condescending and even contemptuous of the people you have been called to serve.

Serve, Serve. Let that word sink in, because unless you are willing to serve your bishop and you parishioners willingly, you might have to reconsider your vocation.

The bishop and the parishioners don’t care as much about what you think your strengths are, as about what strengths you should have or should develop to serve them well.

One thing that you should think about is that it entirely possible that your bishop might well assign you to rural “OF” parishes for the rest of your career. If you don’t learn to “speak rural”, you are going to have a miserable time. The choice is yours.

It also very possible, and very probable, that your bishop will never find much need for your “strengths”, which are a bit niche. He may need you to develop other strengths that are more useful on a parochial setting.

Like I said, if you are not willing to serve, not on your terms, but on those of your bishop and parishioners, then perhaps your calling in life lies elsewhere. You have some serious thinking to do.

 

[nunsuch]

@bardegaulois, I urge you to read this article. The priest who it is about was actually the man who baptized me; he is now retired, and in his 90s, and still remarkable. He is holy and humble, and found great joy in the rural parish to which he was kind of exiled late in his career. He went with the assumption that he would be happy–and he was. He went with the assumption that he would both learn from and be blessed by those he served–and so he was. He is a brilliant and learned man. His life has something to teach you.
https://www.questia.com/magazine/1G1-20232876/poetry-helps-mindful-priest-grasp-bit-of-it-gerald

 

[catholiclala]

There comes a point along any career path where your fantasy of what the job is confronts what the job actually is. I had this happen with my corporate career. I interned at two companies in my field and didn’t like it but it never dawned on me that the field wasn’t for me and it would not matter what company I was at. It took me working in the field two years to figure out my dream was not the right fit.

I am now pursuing a new path and happy that I volunteered in this new field first and got a job to see if the reality was for me before applying to grad school to advance. The veil has been lifted and I see the negatives but I can live with them and know this is the right place. It isn’t a glamorous environment but it is where I can find the most fulfillment through serving.

All that to say, this may be the point in your career where you see life as a priest for what it really is. Passion can only carry you so far. And you cannot dictate where the Church leads you, where God leads you.

 

[catholiclala]

You are correct. Perhaps the problem here is viewing it as a career, if that makes sense.

 

[JulianN]

That’s a question I’d frankly like to ask my formators… but everything I say can and will be used against me, and so it’s best to hold my tongue. I hate to say it, but clerical formation is much more Machiavellian than you’d like to imagine.

What you’re describing as Machiavellian actually sounds like reasonable testing of a person’s vocation.

If you’re coming across to the vocations director the way you are here, it would not be unreasonable, nor “using it against you” for him to suggest the priesthood might not be your vocation.

 

[VonDerTann]

I’ve spent a lot of time in big cities, and in some very rural parishes as well.

The rural parishes were poorer - MUCH poorer.

Having said that, I found the rural people generally nicer and more sincere, than their big-city brethren (many of who, were Jesus Himself to walk into mass, would gasp at a man who worked with his hands). They were also the kind who could survive a nuclear war.

I would add that the priests in the rural areas - where I spent much less chronological time growing up - were formative enough to me that I can remember each and every one of them, much better than I can remember the big-city priests where I spent the bulk of my time.

(So this is a shout-out to 2 rural priests who were real-life brothers, both former military chaplains IIRC, and both priests obviously; they were the ones who always told people every mass that when we received communion, we were to “hold our hands high and make a throne for God!” They were the only priests I’ve ever met who said that; I can still remember them saying so, in their “military voices,” 40 years later, as if they said it to me and me alone, this morning, and I still remember to do that to this day; if anyone knows who those brothers were, I’ll bet you remember them too and where geographically I’m talking about; if so, send me a PM. How’s that for being formed by rural priests!)

 

[do_justly_love_mercy]

I am trying to think of the most polite way of saying this, but, to be quite honest, you are coming across as a bit of a snob. You sound pretty disdainful toward the people among whom you are being asked to serve. You also seem rather hostile when people have given replies that you don’t like. You must see that it’s a bit odd to address people as “madam” on an internet forum. At the very least, it sounds disingenuous.

I am wondering whether there are other settings in which you would be unwilling to serve. How would you feel about working in a prison, for example? Or in an urban parish which had a lot of problems such as poverty and crime? You describe being attracted to city life because you like the respectful distance that people maintain, because you were able to form relationships, initially on a professional level (which would suggest that you were dealing with educated, professional, middle-class people). Not every city parish will be like that. It sounds like you want to go to a parish that isn’t just urban but urbane. As a priest, you cannot make that decision. You have to be prepared to minister to criminals, gang members, the unemployed, the homeless, drug addicts, alcoholics, people who are mentally ill, illegal immigrants - people who could be even more challenging than rural people!

 

[Jbrady]

So, I approach this with some trepidation, fearing at worst a very boring summer.

Am I justified in thinking so, or is there something I might be missing?

I just noticed that you are already 40 years old. A 22 year old can adapt and learn a lot faster and a lot better than someone your age, at which you have already become set in your ways. All the more so because your posts indicate that you are resistant to the idea of leaving your comfort zone, which appears to be quite narrow.

And you will be in your late forties before you get your first real assignment.

Are you sure that you will be able to adapt yourself to what us really needed out there, rather than to some fantasy of what you think the priesthood is?

You really need to talk this over with several experienced priests who can give you realistic advice.

 

[CTBcin]

Fellow seminarian here! As others have said, you’re probably getting a rural assignment because it’s an area you’re not too familiar with. We’re all called to grow pastorally, and an internship assignment is a great way to do that for a seminarian.

I wouldn’t dismiss your assignment before you even start. Take things with an open mind. Maybe it will be great; or maybe it will be a struggle. Either way, you’ll be better off for the experience. I’ve been involved in a couple of more rural parishes (before going to seminary), and I’ve always met good, down to earth people. It’s always been a worthwhile experience.

Liturgies- well, you don’t get to decide that until you’re a priest. I’ve seen country parishes with beautiful liturgies and urban parishes with liturgies that, well, were not to my taste. It goes both ways.

My advice for you is to reflect on the areas where you’re called to grow. Also, ask God what he wants for you in this assignment. Blessings!

 

[adamhovey1988]

As someone that lives in a rural area, with the closest Catholic church nine miles away, I find the OPs tone a bit offensive.

 

[InThePew]

As the pastor of a rural parish, I thought I’d share some thoughts. I’m not from a rural background - I’ve lived in cities all of my life so definitely don’t “speak rural”. I know one end of a cow (or sheep) from another but not much more! Still, I’ve never been adverse to a rural placement simply because such parishes are part of the diocese I was ordained for.

You’re obviously familiar with rural life (although it’s an hour from here to the nearest city parish) so I’ll focus on ministry. The first this I’d say is that ministry here is a lot more personal than in a urban parish; I don’t know everyone’s name but I do recognise most names and faces which would have been impossible in my last placement. Of course the downside to this is that there’s nowhere to hide - I’m constantly running into people I know and wearing a collar ensures I’m easy to spot. That takes a bit of getting used to but, at the same time, it’s also part of being a priest - a man for others.

Secondly, the pace of life is slower - I don’t have four schools and three rest homes and a hospital to minister to but that’s a blessing because I have more time to spend talking with parishioners - I’m not rushing off to get to the next job. In this way, the cup of tea after mass can be as important as mass itself.

Third, being a small parish, we don’t have the resources (human or financial) that an urban parish might enjoy. Particularly when it comes to music, I’m grateful for what little I’ve got; a Gregorian schola might be nice but it’s not going to happen! Obviously, I control the liturgy (advantages of being the pastor) - of course as a seminarian you have to put up with what’s on offer (good, bad or oh so ugly). Every priest has his way of doing things - meaning there’s always something to learn from, some idea to take away and store up for later. If you don’t like the liturgy, put up with it - you’ll have to as an assistant so get used to it. Remember, as a priest, people aren’t going to love or hate you for your liturgical style (extremes excepted), they’ll love or hate you based on for your pastoral concern them (or lack thereof). We’re there to lead people to God and, while liturgy has a role to play, it’s far from the most important thing.

everything I say can and will be used against me, and so it’s best to hold my tongue. I hate to say it, but clerical formation is much more Machiavellian than you’d like to imagine.

Not entirely untrue, but describing it as Machiavellian is OTT. Believe it or not, your formators aren’t out to get you (surprising though it may seem at times); they want to see you develop as a person and to be as prepared as possible for ministry. This necessarily involves placements which take you outside of your comfort zone.

Ultimately, the placement will be what you make of it; that doesn’t mean it’ll all be peachy and trouble free but your own openness to what the Lord wants from youwill help enormously. Finally, the best advice I can give you is something more former parish priest used to say “just be about”.

 

[bardegaulois]

Thank you for the reply, Father. Even though this is only 2 1/2 months, it is rather much a wake-up call that I’m not necessarily going to be dealing with the demographic whence I derive in a priestly ministry. I’ll be contacting the pastor there (whom I’ve never met) tomorrow to see how he might want to use me.

 

[CTBcin]

Not entirely untrue, but describing it as Machiavellian is OTT. Believe it or not, your formators aren’t out to get you (surprising though it may seem at times); they want to see you develop as a person and to be as prepared as possible for ministry.

Haha! This made me chuckle. We seminarians can certainly be a bit dramatic at times. Still, I can certainly see where the OP is coming from, being subject to formation myself. Despite that, I know that formators really do want what’s best for us.