Rural parish placement; what to expect?

[phil19034]

It’s easy to forget that there are so many rural parishes out there that you’ve never heard of… and often when you’ve never heard of them, it’s easy to presume that they’re sleepy and unremarkable. Maybe they are. But even if so, the busy city won’t be running you haggard any longer, as often happens – and I think my formators must have noticed how exhausted I was starting to look at certain points over the past year. It’s a good time to work on the S.T.L., or write that book, or teach a course at the local college as an adjunct. I still have my own work that I’m doing toward a degree, and I anticipate a lot of uninterrupted time to devote to it.

I’m sorry, but why would you think that you would have more free time at a rural parish?

People in rural areas tend to be religious, so it’s quite possible that your evenings would be even busier in the rural parish.

Now, obviously it depends on what kind of rural area & which diocese. I know some of the Northeast rural areas are not very religious, so it most likely isn’t going to be like the rural areas other parts of the country. But in general, I don’t think you will suddenly have more time on your hands just because you are in a rural parish.

Rural parishes are just as busy as urban ones. The only difference, in urban parishes there are sometimes more opportunities for joint-parish activities & regional ministries.

But you should NOT think for one moment that you will have more time on your hands just because you are in a rural parish. You might have less.

NOW: if you meant that you would be personally less distracted in a rural parish from urban activities and nightlife, that’s a different story. But a rural parish is not going to be slower than an urban one.

God Bless

 

[1ke]

But a rural parish is not going to be slower than an urban one.

This, plus WAY more windshield time.

 

[bardegaulois]

You’re correct. I am not a priest. I am there to assist and learn. Nowhere have I indicated here, moreover, that my personal plan and goal this summer is to teach and to write – beyond what is required for the academic courses I’m taking. “Intellectual formation” continues throughout the summer months, after all. My personal goal is actually quite different and much more related to the actual work of the parish, and it will surely modify itself in response to the actual situations I encounter.

Let me clarify: everything I said above is in response to the situation of the priest who left the priesthood rather than accept transfer to a rural area, as noted in JHFamily’s post #86. What potentialities could that gentleman have looked at in the light of an assignment he clearly did not prefer, rather than giving full vent to his pride and frustration? Again, it amazes me – I posit possible benefits to improve one’s initially hostile attitude, and some layfolk would threaten to report a priest considering those to the bishop… You just can’t win. If this were a mere secular profession, rather than a divine calling, you’d see men dropping left and right. It’s a good thing our formators are preparing us for this reality.

 

[1ke]

Let me clarify: everything I said above is in response to the situation of the priest who left the priesthood rather than accept transfer to a rural area, as noted in JHFamily’s post #86. What potentialities could that gentleman have looked at in the light of an assignment he clearly did not prefer, rather than giving full vent to his pride and frustration?

That isn’t at all how what you wrote read to any of us.

Again, it amazes me – I posit possible benefits to improve one’s initially hostile attitude,

Again, that isn’t what you wrote at all.

and some layfolk would threaten to report a priest considering those to the bishop…

No you misunderstand.

This layfolk would be giving feedback to the bishop on fellow layfolk— you— who seem ill suited for parish ministry. (If that were how you came into my parish and behaved).

This rural simpleton is super involved at the diocese, interacts with chancery staff regularly, and wouldn’t hesitate to discuss concerns with the bishop. Involved in parish life and diocesan initiatives— as is her husband who is on the diocesan pastoral council and meets regularly with the bishop.

 

[phil19034]

No you misunderstand.

This layfolk would be giving feedback to the bishop on fellow layfolk— you— who seem ill suited for parish ministry. (If that were how you came into my parish and behaved).

This rural simpleton is super involved at the diocese, interacts with chancery staff regularly, and wouldn’t hesitate to discuss concerns with the bishop. Involved in parish life and diocesan initiatives— as is her husband who is on the diocesan pastoral council and meets regularly with the bishop.

@1ke

Let’s keep in mind that not all priests (even diocesan priests) are assigned to parish ministry. There are some diocesan priests who spend their whole priestly ministry working in the diocesan curia, tribunal, and/or education.

Let’s not attack this seminarian candidate and give him a bad taste for the priesthood. I’m sure he will gain experience over time to determine whether he is called to priesthood and/or parish ministry. Also, I know his seminary formation team & bishop will know whether he is called to the priesthood and whether he’s called to parish or administrative ministry.

@bardegaulois - BTW: have you considered a religious order? There might be one appropriate for you.

God Bless to all

 

[bardegaulois]

Thank you; you are very kind. Unfortunately, I’m no spring chicken any longer, and well beyond the sell-by date as far as any religious orders with whose charism I can strongly identify are concerned.

 

[1ke]

There are some diocesan priests who spend their whole priestly ministry working in the diocesan curia, tribunal, and/or education.

Yes I understand that. But they are the minority, and I see staff rotate regularly between the two.

Let’s not attack this seminarian candidate and give him a bad taste for the priesthood.

You are right. Thank you.

It is difficult to see this level of disdain for rural parishes. It truly breaks my heart.

Thirdly, if you’re so eager to pick up the telephone to call the bishop, then you really have no right to complain about the dearth of priests nowadays.

I’ve given my opinions and concerns about a priest to a bishop exactly once. And that was a very serious matter.

So, no not eager, but willing to do so.

I apologize for comments that probably expressed a lot more attack mode in them than what I really intended.

You’ve really shown a lot of disdain for rural parishes in this thread. It’s heartbreaking to hear it referred to as exile, as boring, as lacking.

I’ve spent a lot of years in a large parish (over 7000 families) in one of the top 4 cities population-wise and a lot of years in a rural parish (70 families) in a midwest state, so I do have a good basis of comparison.

 

[puer.dei]

and some layfolk would threaten to report a priest considering those to the bishop

No, that’s not what was said. But when anyone points out where you’re thinking of yourself first, instead of the parish, you take it as a personal attack.
That wouldn’t go over well out here “in the sticks,” either.

 

[goout]

I think the first point is, you shouldn’t be agonizing through a vocational crisis on the internet. You ought to be praying with your peers and superiors and thinking about docility.

 

[bardegaulois]

You are correct. I have, incidentally, been speaking to my fellows (none of whom are quite thrilled about their own placements either) and to some trusted priests on this issue. Visiting my spiritual director is inadvisable at this point due to his advanced age (though I surely plan to after this pandemic has passed), and vocations staff do not direct us internally in these regards; see my comments about that above. To discuss here is not best, but the back and forth we’ve all had on this has done much to help clarify my questions, though. For that, please accept my gratitude.

 

[bardegaulois]

I apologize for comments that probably expressed a lot more attack mode in them than what I really intended.

Apology accepted. And it’s completely understandable that I too might be coming off the wrong way as well, for which I sincerely beg your pardon.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

People either overly romanticize country life or overly look down on it.

 

[PetraG]

OK, but let’s be fair. How many of us had ideas about married life and especially ideas about how we would go about our duties as parents that weren’t remotely realistic? How many of those ideas were all about us and what we wanted our children to be? If we’re honest, we have to admit that a lot of us are happily married to someone we wouldn’t have described as our ideal before we were even old enough to marry. We may even be happily married to someone we didn’t particularly like when we met them!

I would give the OP this advice: The main difference I have heard between seminarians who are thought highly of and those who are thought clueless boils down to one thing. The ones who aren’t well-received either jump in and enthusiastically change a lot of stuff the parishioners didn’t want to see changed (into the dumpster go old things the permanent residents had grown fond of) OR they aren’t seen as hard-working. The ones who impress are the ones who are friendly, unassuming and hard-working. They look for the projects everyone would like to see done but no one has the time or energy to do: scraping and painting, clearing out brambles, seeing to the parish pick-up list of hardware that needs replacement, and so on. When there is a parish work project, they show up early, do what they’re told and stay until the last person leaves. They take the attitude of people with something to learn. Rural, suburban, urban: You can’t go wrong if you’re humble, respectful of the decisions made before you arrived, and hard-working. That, and don’t forget to say thank you often and honestly.

Think of yourself as the most junior monk, and you’ll do fine. This isn’t a situation where people are looking for you to be the engine of innovation.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Our OP is not yet a seminarian, so, better he work through these issues now!

 

[bardegaulois]

The ones who impress are the ones who are friendly, unassuming and hard-working.

That’s the plan of attack. If my fears are borne out, though, and this truly turns out to be an ill fit, I’ll just keep my poker face on and offer it up. Unpleasant situations are frequently those times that lead to the most spiritual growth, after all.

 

[PetraG]

That’s the plan of attack. If my fears are borne out, though, and this truly turns out to be an ill fit, I’ll just keep my poker face on and offer it up. Unpleasant situations are frequently those times that lead to the most spiritual growth, after all.

Yes, exactly! Fear not! You know, I’ve found you can decide to like anybody.

I did this for Lent with a teacher no one liked (not even the other teachers). When I graduated, she came up while I was talking with the principal and very nicely said she’d miss me. After she walked away, the principal asked how I could stand her. I said that I had decided to be nice to her for Lent, and it kind of got to be a habit. The principal just about died laughing. Honestly, though, I understood a lot of why she was the way she was and after deciding to look past the little things that rubbed me the wrong way. I honestly did kind of genuinely like her.

Have you ever heard of Satre’s play, No Exit? What is heaven, then, if not a collection of souls who can see each other with the same merciful love that God has for each of us, who can love each other in our (relative to God) lack of fullness? What can it be to be like God, if not to love people who have nothing to give us that we need? The more I decide not to let my arbitrary likes and dislikes poison me against someone else, the happier I am. I don’t always do it, but I’ve done it enough to recommend it. It beats the alternatives!! People are pretty lovable, all in all, if you put on agreeable mercy. (And be thankful! It is not your duty to correct any of them! You’ll not be in that situation forever.)

I don’t mean, by the way, that a sociopath or psychopath–a manipulator who objectively uses other people by all sorts of deceits–can become “likable” in the sense that you would put them in a position of trust. Even in that case, though, withholding open dislike will keep you off the radar of those who are always on the lookout for competitors and possible enemies.

 

[bardegaulois]

I’m not too worried about that. I can do cool and cordial with just about anybody. I’m rather more worried that whatever I’m set to do might be rather understimulating. Again, an opportunity to offer it up.

 

[Wesrock]

I’m late to the topic and may have missed this already being said, but you asked how this plays to your strengths. Perhaps this placement serves as an opportunity for growth, maybe even is an appropriate challenge to see if you are really prepared for the responsibilities and assignments that may come when you’re further along. I don’t know all the ins and outs, this area is far from my areas of study I’ve focused on, but in regards to placement you would owe total obedience to your bishop, yes? Better to test now whether you’re suited to this than have it done when you’re further along or after ordination.

That sounds a little brusque but I mean it charitably.

 

[BartholomewB]

@bardegaulois, would you consider the possibility of coming back here in September, say, after it’s all over, to tell us how it went?

 

[bardegaulois]

That’s the probability here, and don’t worry about being direct. I wrote my priest-supervisor yesterday about putting together the contract that we need to for the diocese and asking to tell me a little about the character of the parish and of the area and what he needs there. I didn’t go into my biography or tastes and interests just yet; certainly he knows which questions he may want to ask me. Through these conversations, I’ll surely get a better sense about why the brass wants me there – something about which I won’t inquire now, and only may after the fact if it is still unclear to me.