Sacramento Church Implements Dress Code

[margya]

In Sacramento, the temperatures tend to get hot i.e. 90 or above. There is a tendency to dress to be cool. People show up in tank ups/shorts/flip flops. The attitude that anything goes and that is o.k. to dress that way. Christ is present in the Mass. We are celebrating his death and resurrection. It is about Him and not about us.

 

[maryjk]

Last Sunday just before the last blessing, our Pastor asked everyone to dress modestly and appropriately for mass. He said that most of the congregation does, but wanted everyone to think about what they are wearing. He ended saying that the ushers would be at the doors at future masses and turn away anyone inappropriately dressed! Pretty strong words! I wonder how the ushers feel about this duty.
I was happy that Father brought the subject up. Inappropriate attire is usually just “not dressy”, it is exceptionally tight, low cut or too short.
Appropriate clothing can be just as comfortable as jeans & a T-shirt…and looking at the crucifix…how comfortable does Jesus look?

Wow. Too bad it is against forum rules to post the parish name.

That way if anyone is traveling through that area would know to avoid that parish.

Most people think a dress code is great. Right? But what about the time that I was at the hospital with my sick mother all night, then most of the day. I left the hospital and went to Sunday Mass. I was in shorts and a t-shirt. Now, I didn’t HAVE to go to Mass. I had been caring for a sick parent. But I got so much from that Mass.

So what were my options?
Go to Mass, receive the graces and blessings of attending Mass and receiving Him in communion.
OR
Go home and miss Mass. That way no one would have to sit next to the woman that wasn’t dressed “right.”

 

[SwizzleStick]

Wow. Too bad it is against forum rules to post the parish name.

That way if anyone is traveling through that area would know to avoid that parish.

Most people think a dress code is great. Right? But what about the time that I was at the hospital with my sick mother all night, then most of the day. I left the hospital and went to Sunday Mass. I was in shorts and a t-shirt. Now, I didn’t HAVE to go to Mass. I had been caring for a sick parent. But I got so much from that Mass.

So what were my options?
Go to Mass, receive the graces and blessings of attending Mass and receiving Him in communion.
OR
Go home and miss Mass. That way no one would have to sit next to the woman that wasn’t dressed “right.”

Of course, there are situations that occur when one might not be able to dress for Mass due to emergencies, illness, whatever. We all have those things happen sometimes. Also, sometimes a particular person may work a job such that he or she may not ever be able to dress for Mass. Those situations could be explained and accepted. But, in general, isn’t it likely that most people can wear something that is modest, and while not fancy, respectful and nice enough for Church?

The article does state that the church will not turn anyone away for wearing something that does not meet the dress code, but it does hope people will follow the recommendations. That way, folks would not miss Mass due to attire on occasion, but they will dress for Mass on most occasions. Thus, standards would improve. That is not a bad thing.

 

[ampridgen]

It has a lot to do with how/where you were raised and the expectations of that area or community. It is one of my personal soapbox issues though. Our priest regularly wears flip flops and simple attire. That’s who he is and who he has always been, and it never seems inappropriate somehow. Here in SC, heat is often an issue, but it really is more than that. I had gone away from the church for over 10 years. I thought I had valid reasons. What it boiled down to was that it was easier to walk away from God than admit the magnitude of my sin and doubt. I found my way back to Him about 6 1/2 years ago, but not to the church until Holy Thursday of last year.

I attended different churches, Episcopal, Lutheran, Baptist, Methodist, but nothing felt right. It took me a while, but I realized how much I missed my church, watching the babies grow up in church (read no quiet rooms, children’s church, separation of families during the readings). I was very uncomfortable in some of the more affluent churches. It’s not my intention to draw attention to myself, but the dress codes, some written, some just understood, were something I could never get my head around.

I’ve had discussions about it several times with two close friends, both of whom are staunch Baptist. They feel strongly about dress code and use many of the same criteria to
illustrate why it ‘should be’ this way. Christ wore robes and sandals. That was the dress code of the day. He chose to be with common sinners, regularly, not the wealthy, not the affluent, but with those that no one wanted to be around.

I just read another mediation using Mary and Martha as examples. Martha acted within her scope of female behavior, and did the things that were expected of her. Mary broke tradition, and her actions would still be considered scandalous in the Orthodox Jewish community, but Christ said that she made the best choice.

We can all interpret the bible as we wish, but our priest chooses to help us focus on humility, rejecting pride and love of God above all things. I can’t begin to count the times he’s mentioned how much he worries about the parishioners not going to church. It would never matter to him what they wore if they were to come back.

Here’s a rundown of some of the folks last night…two of the men that attend daily, are extraordinary ministers, set up for mass and just do absolutely anything needed - both wore jeans, one is disabled; the mother of six, who just needed to come to mass, came in just as mass started. I know for fact that she had to wait until her husband came home to even be able to get out. She looked tired and frazzled in her blue jeans when she arrived. She was calm, peaceful and smiling wide at the end of mass. I came straight from our field office, in jeans. I would have missed adoration as well as office of the hours to go home to change. The rest were a mix of whatever. I know all of their names (OK - not all, I have a hard time - but they all know me, too). You can’t go to a restaurant anywhere in our town on a Saturday after mass and NOT see someone from our church, and they always speak.

I spent six months in a church when I first moved here. It had an unwritten dress code. One person spoke to me, the pastor was very friendly, but when I saw people outside of church, no one ever did. They looked through you when you weren’t dressed to their code or didn’t meet their standards. Given a choice of the two, I’ll take the folks in blue jeans, that will drop anything for someone in need.

On a final note, we are in church to worship as a community, to open our hearts and spend time with God. If we are paying attention to God as we should, there really isn’t any time to even consider what others are wearing.

In love and service,
Anne Marie

 

[SwizzleStick]

It has a lot to do with how/where you were raised and the expectations of that area or community. …

That could very well be the case. In thinking back, when we were growing up, my mom, sisters and I always wore dresses and hose (or tights when we were younger) to Mass. My Mom allowed we girls to wear slacks only if it was bitterly cold outside and it was more practical and safer to wear slacks. My dad and brother always wore a dress shirt and slacks or if Dad was an usher for the Mass, he wore a suit and tie. He also wore a suit and tie at Christmas and Easter. Back then, everyone else dressed for Mass as well. It was not fancy dress, but nice, modest clothing. We were a part of a very Catholic farming community, though the larger surrounding community and area (St. Louis) is also very Catholic, as well. Of course, back then, when we went to daily school Masses, we girls had to wear little, black, lace chapel veils, so that is another area where things have changed.

 

[maryjk]

Last Sunday just before the last blessing, our Pastor asked everyone to dress modestly and appropriately for mass. He said that most of the congregation does, but wanted everyone to think about what they are wearing. He ended saying that the ushers would be at the doors at future masses and turn away anyone inappropriately dressed! Pretty strong words! I wonder how the ushers feel about this duty.
I was happy that Father brought the subject up. Inappropriate attire is usually just “not dressy”, it is exceptionally tight, low cut or too short.
Appropriate clothing can be just as comfortable as jeans & a T-shirt…and looking at the crucifix…how comfortable does Jesus look?

**The article does state that the church will not turn anyone away for wearing something that does not meet the dress code, but it does hope people will follow the recommendations. ** That way, folks would not miss Mass due to attire on occasion, but they will dress for Mass on most occasions. Thus, standards would improve. That is not a bad thing.

No, the article didn’t say that they would turn anyone away. But the parish quoted above will be.

But it seems that the minute a dress code is brought up, it is brought up how to implement the code. Someone says, why have a a code if we don’t enforce it. ( I am not saying YOU do this, just in general.)

To have a dress code and not enforce it, is to not have a dress code. If a parish does enforce a dress code, then they might be turning away people that have no options other than what they are wearing; either because they own nothing else or they have been doing something that precludes them changing into something else.

Places like the Vatican does it because in addition to being churches, they are tourist attractions. I also understand that places like that also have paper clothes or baskets of donated clothes for people to use.

 

[BlsdBGd]

Anne Marie, Amen to what you wrote!

 

[RyanBlack]

Last Sunday just before the last blessing, our Pastor asked everyone to dress modestly and appropriately for mass. He said that most of the congregation does, but wanted everyone to think about what they are wearing. He ended saying that the ushers would be at the doors at future masses and turn away anyone inappropriately dressed! Pretty strong words! I wonder how the ushers feel about this duty.
I was happy that Father brought the subject up. Inappropriate attire is usually just “not dressy”, it is exceptionally tight, low cut or too short.
Appropriate clothing can be just as comfortable as jeans & a T-shirt…and looking at the crucifix…how comfortable does Jesus look?

If I were an usher there, once that direction had been given by the Pastor, I would no longer be an usher, and I would make sure to let the Pastor know why. I would be too fearful that my action of turning someone away from Mass might turn that person’s heart away from the Church, and I want no part of scandalizing someone in that way. The Lord, as he told Samuel when he sent him to anoint David, looks not on the outward appearance, but upon the heart. I do agree that we should dress modestly-and not just at Mass-but some people seem not to know any better. They are no less in need to coming to Mass than are those of us who do know better. Then, those who do know better and still dress immodestly, perhaps they need to come to Mass even more so.

 

[stanncie]

I think we have to try to encourage and police each other in terms of a dress code. Sometimes like some posters say people don’t know any better.

Just yesterday at my parish’s children’s mass a woman came in with a truly obscene dress on. I mean it was extremely provocative and only appropriate for maybe a south beach night club. The kicker was that she was with her husband and her small baby. It’s clear this woman didn’t know any better. I mean here she is coming to Mass with her family!

Thankfully it was still early and she was lingering in the vestibule of the church and looking at various rosaries and prayer cards that were on sale. After a few minutes I noticed two older ladies covering her with a wrap that they had gotten from I don’t’ know where lol!.

The funniest thing is that they were securing the wrap around her with safety pins haha! She didn’t seem upset and just let them work on her. The point is that these ladies obviously were kind and explained to her that she couldn’t come into church dressed that way and helped her out. My friends and I that were just giggling along because we are always saying our parish is full of lady busybodies but hey it’s better coming from them in this occasion than maybe if it had come from the ushers of the priest.

 

[maryjk]

I think we have to try to encourage and police each other in terms of a dress code. Sometimes like some posters say people don’t know any better.

Just yesterday at my parish’s children’s mass a woman came in with a truly obscene dress on. I mean it was extremely provocative and only appropriate for maybe a south beach night club. The kicker was that she was with her husband and her small baby. It’s clear this woman didn’t know any better. I mean here she is coming to Mass with her family!

Thankfully it was still early and she was lingering in the vestibule of the church and looking at various rosaries and prayer cards that were on sale. After a few minutes I noticed two older ladies covering her with a wrap that they had gotten from I don’t’ know where** lol!. **

The funniest thing is that they were securing the wrap around her with safety pins **haha! **She didn’t seem upset and just let them work on her. The point is that these ladies obviously were kind and explained to her that she couldn’t come into church dressed that way and helped her out. My friends and I that were just giggling along because we are always saying our parish is full of lady busybodies but hey it’s better coming from them in this occasion than maybe if it had come from the ushers of the priest.

I’m sad that you got such enjoyment out of her ignorance. :nope:

After saying that it was clear she didn’t know better, you then laughed at her education. If you have children, I hope you are a little more understanding with them. :sad_yes:

 

[Sherry_G]

I applaud the ladies at stanncie’s church. I agree we do need to help each other and cure our ignorance if such exists. i did not take it that stanncie was taking enjoyment out of the obscenely dressed woman’s ignorance. She enjoyed the facct that some of the ladies in the parish took appropriate and kind action to help the poor woman so she would not suffer embarrasment from the parish priest during the Mass.

 

[sojo]

That sign from Italy was hilarious! If we had that dress code, our priest couldn’t be in attendance. He wears flipflops and jeans under his cassock, and he routinely brings his enormous dog to daily Mass.

In the summer when its sweltering (and we have no air), he stops at vestibule to pull off his cassock and we greet him as we exit with him and he’s wearing only flipflops, jeans or shorts and a t-shirt.

He had a serious heart attack last year, and almost didn’t survive, so we are happy to take him any which way makes him most comfortable in this heat. The poor man also drives hours and hours on his rounds (he is the only celebrant for 4 different locations).

I seriously doubt God cares what we wear - after all, we were born naked and not in modest dress at all. But it is a kindness not to expose each other to too much bare skin, especially since so few Americans have the bodies to carry it off!

 

[stanncie]

I applaud the ladies at stanncie’s church. I agree we do need to help each other and cure our ignorance if such exists. i did not take it that stanncie was taking enjoyment out of the obscenely dressed woman’s ignorance. She enjoyed the fact that some of the ladies in the parish took appropriate and kind action to help the poor woman so she would not suffer embarrassment from the parish priest during the Mass.

Thanks Sherry that’s exactly why we were giggling! These ladies are literally everywhere and in every committee . We were also laughing because we don’t understand where they got that shawl from because it literally materialized out of thin air. The fact that they were putting safety pins all over made it amusing as well because it looked like they were wrapping her like a mummy!

I actually felt bad for the lady because our pastor has been know to be less than tactful when confronting parishioners but that’s why all of the old ladies love him! I actually love him too even though he’s always cutting our group’s announcements short at the end of mass

We spent 5 hours in the vestibule of the church on Sunday so it was nice to have a bit of distraction too, and it ended well and no one was put off

 

[Cathern]

Men are not above criticism. Just this last Sunday, there was an adult man in front of me who wore a ball cap all through Mass, even to receive communion. He had his whole family with him, but his wife said nothing.

Men wearing hats while eating has become very common, and it is now occurring in church more and more often. I find both revolting.

 

[Sherry_G]

Cathern:
I have been noticing that too! Wha’ happened? Even older men who definitely were raised to take off the hat indoors are dining while wearing ball cap or even cowboy hats here in AR! Perhaps the balding of men has something to do with wanting to keep the hat on? Like many old customs and manners, this one has been kicked to the curb also. We went to live theatre and a man in front of us had on a huge ten gallon cowboy hat and refuesed to remove it! We just moved to a different seat. Thank goodness there was another seat available.

 

[MissRose73]

I wish more churches would implement dress codes and enforce modesty for both genders. But the biggest offenders tend to be females of various ages with the skimpy clothes at Mass. It can be distracting to others when they come in wearing sleeveless shirts/tanks/spaghetti straps, short shorts, and flip flop sandals.

I understand in some areas summer weather means dress in little as possible but you can dress appropriately without getting overly warm. I even have some light weight shirts and skirts that are modest for summer. No need for the various types of concert/booze tees and sporting stuff unless you had no time to change clothes.

I do not mind if people wear jeans instead of khakis or dress pants/trousers. I just prefer they be neat, clean, not ripped, not overly baggy and/or very tight fitting and a nice shirt & nice pair of shoes worn with them. I would rather they wear nice clothes overall but the clergy needs to enforce the fact that our clothing for Mass should be neat, clean, not ripped, not revealing/tight, and most of all modest.

 

[ampridgen]

I feel truly blessed that our priest is MUCH more concerned with our immortal souls than with our dress code.

In God’s service,
Anne Marie

 

[SwizzleStick]

My family and I were out of town on vacation this past Sunday, so we attended Mass at one of the local parishes. We arrived about 25 minutes early and sat about 3/4 of the way back. As visitors, we didn’t think we should sit too close to the front. While we sat quieting our hearts and minds and preparing for Mass and receiving our Lord, hubby and I noticed that most of the women and girls wore either a dress or skirt and top. The other ladies wore slacks and a top. The men and boys wore slacks and a collared shirt. We saw a few suits and ties. I saw two pairs of blue jeans and three pairs of shorts.

Both hubby and I found it noteworthy enough to comment to each other about attire after Mass. We weren’t looking for it, but it stood out because it is unusual. And, I thought of this thread too.

We both found it refreshing to see folks so attired for Mass. It took me back several years because I haven’t seen the majority of folks in the Church dressed nicely but not fancy for quite a while. Sure, people dress up at weddings and First Communions and for Confirmation. But, to see simple, but nice attire at a Sunday Mass was a very nice thing to see indeed.

 

[MissRose73]

That is unusual to notice especially when traveling to areas well known for visitors. I was visiting a church and wore a nice short sleeved black dress that went to my knees as it was really hot outside. I noticed several preteens/teen girls wearing those short shirts and skirts or shorts, and wondering why their mothers allowed those outfits.

If I know I will be in a touristy area, and will attend Mass, then I will make sure I have something appropriate yet modest so I do not look like a tourist.

My family and I were out of town on vacation this past Sunday, so we attended Mass at one of the local parishes. We arrived about 25 minutes early and sat about 3/4 of the way back. As visitors, we didn’t think we should sit too close to the front. While we sat quieting our hearts and minds and preparing for Mass and receiving our Lord, hubby and I noticed that most of the women and girls wore either a dress or skirt and top. The other ladies wore slacks and a top. The men and boys wore slacks and a collared shirt. We saw a few suits and ties. I saw two pairs of blue jeans and three pairs of shorts.

Both hubby and I found it noteworthy enough to comment to each other about attire after Mass. We weren’t looking for it, but it stood out because it is unusual. And, I thought of this thread too.

We both found it refreshing to see folks so attired for Mass. It took me back several years because I haven’t seen the majority of folks in the Church dressed nicely but not fancy for quite a while. Sure, people dress up at weddings and First Communions and for Confirmation. But, to see simple, but nice attire at a Sunday Mass was a very nice thing to see indeed.

 

[music2]

Thanks Sherry that’s exactly why we were giggling! These ladies are literally everywhere and in every committee . We were also laughing because we don’t understand where they got that shawl from because it literally materialized out of thin air. The fact that they were putting safety pins all over made it amusing as well because it looked like they were wrapping her like a mummy!

I actually felt bad for the lady because our pastor has been know to be less than tactful when confronting parishioners but that’s why all of the old ladies love him! I actually love him too even though he’s always cutting our group’s announcements short at the end of mass

We spent 5 hours in the vestibule of the church on Sunday so it was nice to have a bit of distraction too, and it ended well and no one was put off

Wow.You people are the reason why i’m leaving Catholicism and going far far away from religion.
I’ll just have to somehow find a way to accept going to hell,because i can’t be like you people.
I thought Catholicism was something better and different but really its no different from muslim extremists or Baptist Christians with your requirements,rules,judgments,condemnations,fear mongering and hurts etc.
I guess Catholicism will have to remain an “exclusive club” that is only for people that are only willing to wear skirts knee length or below,and that gossip about other’s clothes not being to their modesty standards.
I don’t want this extremist mindset and people like on this thread have caused me much much tears,fear and agony.
I do wish to be a normal healthy human being.I do wish to wear skirt that are above knee length and don’t fit into the modesty police on heres standards,i do wish to wear normal swimwear at the beach,and i do wish to wear makeup etc.

Some Catholic women even go so far as to on one hand complain that they don’t want to be judged or have misconceptions about them for wearing a mantilla or headscarf while in the next breath say things like “i see women down the street dressed so immodestly” and “which parent would want their daughter dressed as a streetworker” and they don’t even see how what they are saying is wrong or the hypocrisy or irony of their words.

One of you even mentioned that you believed we should pocive each others clothing.
Yeah right,because policing peoples clothes and refusing services to people wearing certain clothing that has really worked for Iranians or for muslims?

Personally,i also prefer people to wear neat clothes but i understand the difference between my personal preference vs imposing MY views on others.
I’m not big on micro micro miniskirts,or mens tshirts with pictures of womens naked silhouettes on them,or tops that push your boobs half outsifde over the top like a “balcony” but at the same time,if i had a shop i wouldn’t refuse to serve people dressed like this.
I don’t know why people choose what to wear each day,it can be many varying reasons and i don’t consider it right for me to make assumptions from their dress that day about their charcter,life situation,heart,morals etc…

I’d be lying if i said i was crying now with much fear and agony.
So i hope you people on his thread and similar catholics out there enjoy your life of excessive focus on others attire,but just keep in my that there is someone at the receiving end that is possibly getting very affected or hurt by your actions and maybe also turned off from the Church.
I am one of the them.

Next time your viewing that girl “down the street” and whining “how could her mother let her dress like that” keep in mind that the better way is to treat others how we ourselves would wish to be treated.