Saints with SSA

[catholic03]

A faithful Catholic who loves the Church might experience SSA.

You’re very right. I agree.

 

[do_justly_love_mercy]

Of course, it’s up to you who you choose as your confirmation saint, but can I ask why you are focusing on your saint’s sexual orientation? There are so many other characteristics and qualities that go to make up a whole person. You could say, “Because I am American, my saint must be Elizabeth Ann Seton”, “Because I am Polish, my saint must be John Paul II”, “Because I am a doctor, my saint must be Luke”, “Because I am a lawyer, my saint must be Thomas More”, “Because I am multiracial, my saint must be António Vieira”, “Because I have a physical disability, my saint must be Joseph Cafasso”, etc.

When I was choosing my confirmation saint, I had a few people assume that I would want to choose a saint who was black or multiracial or associated with the transatlantic slave trade, or at least American, or perhaps English in honor of my father’s ancestors, or otherwise that I would want to choose one of the traditional patron saints of scholars or students, as I always worked incredibly hard at school. In fact, I chose Jadwiga, the female king of Poland, despite not having any connection with Poland—or being royal!

I suppose what I’m saying is, don’t think that your sexual orientation needs to be your main defining characteristic. It is just a part of who you are.

 

[CaptainPrudeman]

But maybe that saint’s struggle with the cross of SSA is something that inspires our OP? His struggle may not be the defining characteristic of the OP but it may be a prominent part of their faith life and they want to pick a saint to reflect that.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Of course, it’s up to you who you choose as your confirmation saint, but can I ask why you are focusing on your saint’s sexual orientation? There are so many other characteristics and qualities that go to make up a whole person.

Um, because it’s important to him?

Unlike your own situation with people assuming you’d choose a saint associated with your race, I’m not getting the impression that people are assuming the OP needs to pick an SSA saint when the OP doesn’t really want to.

If the OP had said he wants to know some saints who were farmers because he himself is a farmer, nobody would make a post here saying, “Why are you focusing on your saint’s job? There are so many other characteristics that make up a whole person.”

Of course he can pick whatever saint he wants. I’m presuming that he has no trouble finding saints who have his nationality or his job but he was wondering specifically if there are saints with SSA. It’s a fair question as that is indeed part of who he is and it’s okay for him to say so and think about it.

 

[Gripper]

There is no conflict here. A faithful Catholic who loves the Church might experience SSA.

I knew a protestant (Anglican) who has ssa but believes it is wrong and doesn’t pursue sex.

 

[TheLittleLady]

My point is that John Henry Newman desired to, and was buried in the same tomb as Fr Ambrose St John. There was a profound love between these two men to wish to have their human remains entombed so.

 

[Kei]

I am commenting here because the choice of words you have picked seem to possibly suggest that you may be going about this the wrong way.
You don’t “power through” these sorts of things.
Instead, realize that we are helpless without God’s Grace. See if you have any pains or abuses or hurts, emotional or physical, against you through your whole life, but especially when young/in childhood (and especially by loved ones). Openly, honestly admit these in prayer to God, and resolve this. Forgive anyone who has harmed you or will in the future, being open about how these things make you feel. Let God be your refuge. Be honest about any emotional pain or plain old irritation you feel throughout the day-but bring it to God, and honestly forgive whoever has done it.
Realize that we are powerless, but God’s Power is perfected in weakness. Let us throw ourselves to God’s providence, for He will never let us down, and loves us. Let us admit our faults, honestly, and rely on Him.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

You don’t “power through” these sorts of things.
Instead, realize that we are helpless without God’s Grace.

He said “power through it with God’s Grace”, so he seems to be aware of the necessity for grace.

“Power through it” is a colloquial expression, similar to “push through it”, “bull through it”, etc. It just means to get through a difficult situation.
It does not necessarily mean we are actually talking about doing it under our own power.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Why does everybody get so excited when someone suggests that St. John Henry Newman might have had SSA? For the third (or umpteenth) time, there is nothing bad about having SSA as long as you do not give in to the temptation.

I think the “almost certainly” is debatable because we really don’t know, but there is certainly evidence that suggests it is possible that he had SSA. There is also evidence that suggests it is possible he was attracted to women.

 

[Kei]

Thank you for your concern, but yes, I am aware of the expression, which is what we shouldn’t do as it makes it exceedingly difficult to defeat temptation to always run and just go with willpower. Perhaps it is just a meaning to say “resist”, but we must cut the tree at its lowest base, every time we are tempted and wearied, it would seem to me. I have tried the “push through it” approach with temptation, but it merely postpones, it would seem to me, for however long. To truly conquer we must cut down through God’s Grace in our weakness, at least as it appears to me.

 

[pnewton]

It is slanderous to say someone is chaste?

 

[Salibi]

Saying that someone experienced SSA is not “slanderous”. Such a statement can only arise out of a lack of charity for homosexual people and especially the many homosexual Catholics who struggle with their sexuality.

 

[pnewton]

Seriously, here is the Catholic definition of slander:

“Slander is the attributing to another of a fault of which one knows him to be innocent.”

For one, the thing has to be a fault, which did not apply. Second, one has to know it to be false, which did not apply.

I might go with gossip? But the @halogirl was trying to help another person, so I do not see any real fault.

 

[halogirl]

Oh come on now. I’m a big Newman fan he was beatified on my birthday and has helped lead me to the church. I can guarantee you he is not bent out of shape about this so am not sure why you are. Experience SSA is not something shameful anyway

 

[HomeschoolDad]

Why does everybody get so excited when someone suggests that St. John Henry Newman might have had SSA? For the third (or umpteenth) time, there is nothing bad about having SSA as long as you do not give in to the temptation.

We understand this, but there are Christians who do not — they think you can “pray the gay away”, that it’s a choice, that if you will just set your mind to it and get saved, it will disappear. Not sure how that works for those who try it and aren’t able to quit being SSA.

“Pray the gay away” should indeed be the first choice for someone who discerns themselves to be SSA, but as we know, unfortunately this fails to work more often than it succeeds. If you try that, and it doesn’t work, you are no less precious in the sight of God, nor are you any less virtuous, as long as you remain chaste.

I want to be clear that I do not have first-hand experience at this. Just in case it could appear otherwise.

My point is that John Henry Newman desired to, and was buried in the same tomb as Fr Ambrose St John. There was a profound love between these two men to wish to have their human remains entombed so.

That doesn’t indicate being gay.

Marlon Brando and Wally Cox were boyhood friends, grew up together in the same small town, remained close friends for life. Marlon said that if Wally had been a woman, he could have married “her” and been very happy. When Wally died, Marlon kept his ashes in his home. Marlon was, by his own admission, bisexual, but he never indicated this was a factor in his friendship with Wally. And as plain-spoken as he always was, in all likelihood he would have brought this up. Or maybe not.

 

[Thorolfr]

Tis_Bearself:

Why does everybody get so excited when someone suggests that St. John Henry Newman might have had SSA? For the third (or umpteenth) time, there is nothing bad about having SSA as long as you do not give in to the temptation.

We understand this, but there are Christians who do not — they think you can “pray the gay away”, that it’s a choice, that if you will just set your mind to it and get saved, it will disappear. Not sure how that works for those who try it and aren’t able to quit being SSA.

“Pray the gay away” should indeed be the first choice for someone who discerns themselves to be SSA, but as we know, unfortunately this fails to work more often than it succeeds. If you try that, and it doesn’t work, you are no less precious in the sight of God, nor are you any less virtuous, as long as you remain chaste.

I think that the idea that someone can “pray away the gay” is mostly a conservative Protestant thing, and not a Catholic thing. Also, so called “conversion therapy” is strongly discouraged by most mental health professionals precisely because it so rarely ever works. Repeatedly trying to change but failing to do so usually contributes to increased depression, anxiety and self-hatred.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

I think that the idea that someone can “pray away the gay” is mostly a conservative Protestant thing, and not a Catholic thing. Also, so called “conversion therapy” is strongly discouraged by most mental health professionals precisely because it so rarely ever works. Repeatedly trying to change but failing to do so usually contributes to increased depression, anxiety and self-hatred.

Agreed. I simply meant that, for instance, if I woke up tomorrow morning and realized “hey, I like men instead of women”, the first thing I would do, is to pray that God would take this away from me and make me heterosexual again. If He left me in this condition, that would be His Will, and would be similar to St Paul’s pleadings that his “thorn in the flesh” — whatever that might have been — would be taken away from him, which did not happen. If someone is so unfortunate as to have unalterable SSA, their calling then is to be chaste and to accept these attractions as their cross to bear in life, that thing that Almighty God has given them to bring them to holiness and sanctity. The Catholic approach is far more merciful and compassionate, than to suggest that the involuntarily SSA person is evil and reprobate.

I would be very interested to know how the various evangelical denominations deal with the issue of involuntary SSA that just won’t go away. Do any of them say “it’s okay, God loves you, be chaste and pray to remain chaste, you are saved in Christ Jesus”, or something to that effect?

It is highly “politically incorrect”, and disliked by the spirit of the modern age, to suggest that someone who is homosexual should seek to become heterosexual. All of the media and the opinion leaders urge us to rejoice in our differences, to celebrate “what we are”, regardless of what that is.

The world is turned upside down from what it should be.

 

[Thorolfr]

If someone is so unfortunate as to have unalterable SSA, their calling then is to be chaste and to accept these attractions as their cross to bear in life, that thing that Almighty God has given them to bring them to holiness and sanctity.

If some young 13 year old boy discovers that he’s attracted to other boys and is taught that this is something that is “so unfortunate,” that’s probably not going to be very good for his mental health and self-esteem, either.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

If someone is so unfortunate as to have unalterable SSA, their calling then is to be chaste and to accept these attractions as their cross to bear in life, that thing that Almighty God has given them to bring them to holiness and sanctity.

So what would you suggest?

My son is on the cusp of turning 13. I teach him according to traditional Catholic moral theology and doctrine — that the sex act is only for married people, without artificially preventing conception, should God see fit to allow that to happen. Anything else — acts even within marriage that are contraceptive, acts with the opposite sex outside of marriage, self-gratification, or homosexual acts, as well as attempting marriage invalidly outside the Church — is gravely immoral, as are other sins against chastity such as looking at pornography or deliberately entertaining impure thoughts. I have taught him that even though it’s never a good or desirable thing, some people, through no fault of their own, are involuntarily attracted to the same sex, and if they cannot overcome this, then they must remain celibate. It does not make them bad people, not in the least, but we are never allowed to commit sin, least of all mortal sin, just because we have the urge, or because it makes life easier, or what have you.

The media onslaught to normalize gay behavior, to represent it as cool, hip, enlightened, and possibly even to make it preferable, is relentless. We would all do well to keep passive media out of our homes as much as possible, though for many reasons, people’s mileage will vary. I was pleasantly surprised to see the other evening that the Oscars, and I saw most of them, were almost entirely non-political and inoffensive to traditional morality. Especially given the events of recent days and weeks, I expected it to be an anti-Trump hate orgy, and of course the requisite celebration of gayness on top of that. It was neither one. Very enjoyable to watch. Felt like old times.

 

[goout]

Everyone has issues to deal with. All the saints. Having temptations and inclinations is not an embarrassment or a disqualification. These are the very opportunities to pursue sanctity. It forms in a crucible, as Sirach says.

Who is the saint with issues? YOU are.