Same-Sex Attraction - A cruel joke?

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When I wrestle with my own cross (severe disability), I have found help in reading the psalms - God knit me together in my mother’s womb. As someone who does knit/crochet, I know what it is like to work on a piece and when it is finished, there are some “imperfections”, some dropped stitches, some missed counts. That does not mean that the finished work is not beautiful and does not have a purpose.

I have also spent much time meditating on both Isaiah 49 and Romans 9 - the clay cannot say to the potter “why have you made me this way”.

For some reason we do not know now, we all have a few dropped stitches - some of us far more than others. It is best to trust the maker. The key is to look at the Stations of the Cross, know when to embrace our own cross and when to let the Cyrene help us to carry it.
I just wanted you to know that I found a great deal of comfort from this post. I too as a young man (26 years old) suffering from same sex attraction can relate to the opening post - about loneliness, depression, low self-esteem, longing for a vocation to marriage or the priesthood but not being able to pursue either. It is easy to give in to self-pity, there are times I cry to God how could He have made me like this, I would do anything to not have these attractions - but ultimately, such cries betray a lack of trust in our Lord. Thank you for sharing your own reflection on the subject - how true that we need to look at the cross of Christ in the midst of our own sufferings. God bless you.
 
I have little knowledge about SSA, but I will try to do what I can to help you. You said that Jesus was persecuted, but he chose his burden. This is true.

There is, however, someone I feel you could relate to and he asks God a similar question. God actually answers him in the end too. I think you would get a lot out of reading the book of Job.
 
. No apparent meaningful vocation. Both the priesthood and marriage are closed to people with SSA. In my case, the single life holds no excitement or prospects for joy…refer to #1.
If the person lives chastly they can enter the priesthood than it dosent matter what attraction they have thats what I know at least.
 
I don’t know how realistic this us, but what if you and another Catholic person with SSA were a couple that didn’t have sex? Then you would not be committing a sin, since it’s only the act of sex that’s considered a sin, and neither would be lonely?
This was my first thought, too. Just as unmarried straight Catholic couples might sometimes live together chastely, the OP could do the same thing.
 
This too saddens me. I wish those with SSA that strive for holiness and abide by the Church’s teaching, with in the limits of their humanity, were able to pursue a vocation to the priesthood. It seems to me there ought to be some way to waive this prohibition. I will pray that the way you are to go will be opened up for you.
they can if they live chastley also the attraction has degrees
if they live chastley regaurdless of the inclination but when it comes to extreme cases I would think it is uncharitable for the person to try but for a person with a SSA that is of a lesser controlable degree IF THEY CAN live chastly than they can enter, This is my knowledge of the subject.
 
As a person afflicted with same-sex attractions (SSA), I can’t help to think sometimes that I am the hind-end of some sort of cosmic joke. Here’s why:
  1. Apparent condemnation to a life of loneliness.
  2. Hatred, or at the very least suspicion, by people in the Church (not the Church herself) as well as other non-Catholic Christians. On these very boards, there have been posters who have almost come right out and said that a person with SSA is beyond any hope of salvation, whether they are trying to live in accord with the Church’s teachings as stated in the CCC.
  3. No apparent meaningful vocation. Both the priesthood and marriage are closed to people with SSA. In my case, the single life holds no excitement or prospects for joy…refer to #1.
So…SSA…cruel cosmic joke or cruel fate? Either way, I don’t see why God would allow a person to turn out to be hated and despised by His OWN people, even when said person tries to do the right thing, they are considered suspect, except as a joke.
SSA is not cosmic cruel joke, just like those who were born blind isn’t. Jesus said that the reason of the man who was born blind was that the kingdom of God shall be glorified through him. Having said it, Jesus then healed him. SSA is more like a disordered condition, that even if the world may not be able to heal such condition, God in Jesus name can. The question is whether the person want to be healed.

Just like many people who are disabled/ sick, SSA does come with some degree of suffering. If I were born blind, would I entitled the right to say that blindness is a normality that people entitled to choose, in order that I would not be so lonely? No instead I acknowledge my condition honestly and try to seek treatment and healing. Meanwhile, I try to live my life as much as i can without having to question about whether i am condemned or being a cosmic joke.
 
LCMS_No_More, sometimes it does seem that God is really being tough on those of us with SSA.

There kind of seems to be a double standard among a lot of Christians. A person who admits to having SSA, but is chaste and has been chaste, is regarded with suspicion as if they are about to fall into sexual sin any minute now, but a straight person who is actually living in sin, well, that’s kind of ignored, they wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings by saying anything.

But then there are the folks who will actually listen to me when I say I am a chaste Gay person and will accept me as a sister in Christ. (Yeah, I know, I said the ‘G’ word.)

Maybe we need a pride movement for chaste same-sex attracted Christians (the love that REALLY dare not speak its name…)

I’m praying for you.
 
LCMS_No_More, sometimes it does seem that God is really being tough on those of us with SSA.

There kind of seems to be a double standard among a lot of Christians. A person who admits to having SSA, but is chaste and has been chaste, is regarded with suspicion as if they are about to fall into sexual sin any minute now, but a straight person who is actually living in sin, well, that’s kind of ignored, they wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings by saying anything.

But then there are the folks who will actually listen to me when I say I am a chaste Gay person and will accept me as a sister in Christ. (Yeah, I know, I said the ‘G’ word.)

Maybe we need a pride movement for chaste same-sex attracted Christians (the love that REALLY dare not speak its name…)

I’m praying for you.
inaekyo - you make some excellent points.
www.ssahope.com

God Bless,
Darrell
 
LCMS

2. Hatred, or at the very least suspicion, by people in the Church (not the Church herself) as well as other non-Catholic Christians. On these very boards, there have been posters who have almost come right out and said that a person with SSA is beyond any hope of salvation, whether they are trying to live in accord with the Church’s teachings as stated in the CCC.

I have never heard this said at CAF. Nor have I heard it almost said.

The only person I’ve ever heard it said about is a person who dies unrepentant of his sins. And that includes any mortal sin. SSA is not even a mortal sin unless we yield to it, as in the case of sodomy.
 
Why would the priesthood or any other vocation be closed to you? It is not closed to heterosexuals. I don’t understand the double standard.
 
Why would God place such a heavy burden on human beings? It seems that the only answer that is available to us is the idea that God in his infinite wisdom sees a greater good that cannot be actualized without suffering, and thus for the sake of that good, God permits suffering. Whether we agree with Gods actions will depend on whether we value the greater good above and beyond our own suffering.

While there might be some biological elements involved in the manifestation of same sex attractions, it is my opinion that SSA is predominantly born out of the sexual insecurity and also the sexual ignorance which inflicts humanity as a whole. I believe that same sex attraction is a social phenomena which manifests itself in relation to ones own contextual and social experiences of other human beings of the same sex. It isn’t the fault of the individual. If there is a fault, i would argue that it is to be found in the human community as a whole in regards to how they express themselves as sexual beings. Of course, there are probably other factors involved.

We are in general wounded insecure creatures; and in most cases we spend a lot of our lives in ignorance of what we really are, where we came from, and the purpose for which our nature is intended. In light of that fact it is not at all surprising that human beings develop sexual or psychological conditions or disorders. Same sex attractions evidently is one of the most humiliating conditions in existence since it undermines one of the most fundamental aspects of what we are; the fact that we are evidently male and female. It oppresses the potential expression of what it objectively means to be a man or a women, and thus destroys the good of that unitive teleological purpose which is self evident in human sexuality. If you are a man and you are unable to express your nature as a man sufficiently, this is bound to cause a deep depression in the victim, especially if they feel forced to remain silent out of fear of social rejection. Also the experience of those attractions in and of themselves are surely degrading to those who value their heterosexual nature. The same would be true of somebody who had sexual attractions to animals or children. These kinds of attractions are heavy burdens, not just because of social rejection, but because they undermine and oppress the good of what we are fundamentally and objectively.

Nobody asks for SSA, and not only that; having these burdens can be extremely dangerous. In a world where sex is everything, to have that kind of condition is often met with rejection by ones heterosexual female and male pears since you are perceived as less than a man or less than a women - a freak of nature; and thus one is treated with exclusion, ridicule, violence and irrational fear due to the psychological insecurities of human beings in general.

This is very unfortunate, as i believe the plight of those dealing with SSA would be greatly lessened if they received understanding inclusion and respect by people of the same sex.
It is even more unfortunate that the prejudices of human beings have been exploited as an excuse to justify homosexual behavior as something normal or moral. This agenda is just as corrupt. In terms of believing in the value of ones self in the face of discrimination, this cuase is one thing that the gay movement can be applauded for. However, pretending that we are not dealing with something that is a disorder of what we are as men and women, is causing an even greater problem. Its causing an ignorance of what we are; not an acceptance of what we are. It is ignoring what we are fundamentally and objectively (that we are men and women) for the sake of fulfilling some attraction; in effect saying that attractions are more important than the purpose that our objective sexuality evidently serves, and thus in effect saying that attractions are the only things that has the authority to define us. Instead of healing the wound, it is now gaping leaving human beings open to spiritual destruction and manifest-ignorance.
 
As a person afflicted with same-sex attractions (SSA), I can’t help to think sometimes that I am the hind-end of some sort of cosmic joke. Here’s why:
  1. Apparent condemnation to a life of loneliness.
  2. Hatred, or at the very least suspicion, by people in the Church (not the Church herself) as well as other non-Catholic Christians. On these very boards, there have been posters who have almost come right out and said that a person with SSA is beyond any hope of salvation, whether they are trying to live in accord with the Church’s teachings as stated in the CCC.
  3. No apparent meaningful vocation. Both the priesthood and marriage are closed to people with SSA. In my case, the single life holds no excitement or prospects for joy…refer to #1.
So…SSA…cruel cosmic joke or cruel fate? Either way, I don’t see why God would allow a person to turn out to be hated and despised by His OWN people, even when said person tries to do the right thing, they are considered suspect, except as a joke.
If people in your Parish are being rude and / or antagonistic towards you because of your nature, then GET OUT! And find a Parish where the laity are more charitable and willing to help. Find people who represent the teaching of the Church. Same-sex attraction is your cross to bear and you are called to a life of celebacy, but that is no reason to be ostracized by your Catholic community. If, as you imply, you wish to follow the teaching of the Church, then you must remain chaste, but your cross if borne with dignity will make you a saint. The teaching of the Church is that homosexual acts are evil, not necessarily a homosexual inclination.

Read my articles at:

colewebbharter.com
 
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