Save This Sinner!

  • Thread starter Thread starter scapularkid8
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

scapularkid8

Guest
(I’m not sure if this is the correct location, please feel free to move!)

I am a huge Catholic.
I am a huge sinner.

I look at pornography, I ‘touch myself’, I miss Mass, I’m gay and out, and I get drunk.
All of these are/include regular occasions.

I don’t want to go to hell. I love God and I feel sad to feel separate from Him. I can’t feel connected to Him so I just keep looking. Does He listen to my prayers if I sin in such huge ways? I pray everyday and have good intentions but I just mess up a lot. I don’t want to be punished for just messing up 🤷
 
Jesus who spent time in the company of tax collectors, prostitutes and sinners, please be with this young person, and draw him deeply into Your life.
Please heal what needs healing and help this young person to live the gospel life.

I guess I don’t need to suggest you go to regular confession and to seek God’s grace
and that you honestly determine to avoid occasions of sin. I ask God’s grace for you.

You probably need to use practical means to overcome succumbing to occasions of sin. You might sometimes find it helpful to change your habits so you are less likely to fall into the same old patterns.

It could be helpful to do more for others, remembering that Jesus commands us to act towards others as we wish to be treated. And He backs that up in Matthew 25 verses 31-48 by saying He judges souls on whether or not they have lived lives of practical kindness to others, which He accepts as love given to Him.
 
(I’m not sure if this is the correct location, please feel free to move!)

I am a huge Catholic.
I am a huge sinner.

I look at pornography, I ‘touch myself’, I miss Mass, I’m gay and out, and I get drunk.
All of these are/include regular occasions.

I don’t want to go to hell. I love God and I feel sad to feel separate from Him. I can’t feel connected to Him so I just keep looking. Does He listen to my prayers if I sin in such huge ways? I pray everyday and have good intentions but I just mess up a lot. I don’t want to be punished for just messing up 🤷
You’re blinded to the real beauty of freedom, chained to the visceral by your fleshy desires. You have to step up and make sure you turn your back on this stuff. You may fail, but don’t give up! Fix your eyes firmly on the cross and push forward. This is the cross you are being asked to bear at the moment so shoulder it and keep putting one foot in front of the other!
 
(I’m not sure if this is the correct location, please feel free to move!)

I am a huge Catholic.
I am a huge sinner.

I look at pornography, I ‘touch myself’, I miss Mass, I’m gay and out, and I get drunk.
All of these are/include regular occasions.

I don’t want to go to hell. I love God and I feel sad to feel separate from Him. I can’t feel connected to Him so I just keep looking. Does He listen to my prayers if I sin in such huge ways? I pray everyday and have good intentions but I just mess up a lot. I don’t want to be punished for just messing up 🤷
So go to confession and stop sinning.

Stop looking at pornography,
Stop touching yourself.
Stop identifying yourself as a person who is attracted to people of the same sex, you are so much more than that so why identify yourself as a negative part of your sinful nature? Reject that inclination as the sinful inclination it is and fight against it.
And stop getting drunk.

All of the above are things you are deciding to do, and you can decide to stop doing them. It is your choice.

Lust seems to be your big problem so I advise you to consider fasting to help you get it under control as a good place to start.
 
So go to confession and stop sinning.

Stop looking at pornography,
Stop touching yourself.
Stop identifying yourself as a person who is attracted to people of the same sex, you are so much more than that so why identify yourself as a negative part of your sinful nature? Reject that inclination as the sinful inclination it is and fight against it.
And stop getting drunk.

All of the above are things you are deciding to do, and you can decide to stop doing them. It is your choice.

Lust seems to be your big problem so I advise you to consider fasting to help you get it under control as a good place to start.
Although teh above may sound harsh, it is very good advise. NOT EASY - But GOOD.

Growing in Holiness is like dieting. it requires effort, commitment to the goal, an understanding that you might slip-up on the journey, and the desire to pick yourself up each time and recommit to the goal.
  • Make confession a HUGE part of your routine, weekly if at all possible.
  • Get to Mass EVERY Week and more often if possible. Go every day if you can. Get there early and spend extra time there after in prayer.
  • Get rid of EVERY connection to pornography that you possess (books, mags, websites etc.) If you can block them on your computer then do so.
  • You’re “gay” and “out” - as such you are called, as all single people are to Chastity. Do not seek an intimate relationship with another until you have your relationship with God sorted out.
  • Stay away from Bars and other places where drinking is going on. While for many people, occasionally “tying one on” may be OK, but you are in a serious spiritual situation that requires your constant attention. Alchohol will only weaken you so get on the wagon and stay there.
  • Go and sit before the blessed sacrament as often as you can.
I hope that the above will be of use to you.
I also recommend the book in my signature. It can be a great help to you.

Peace
James
 
Read Jason and Crystalina Evert’s stuff. It’ll really help you.
 
You’re not alone, hun.

Only recently in my promise to be a practicing and devoted Catholic have I given up stuff like porn and being active in my bisexuality.

To be quite honest, looking at the porn was a bit easier to stop, because I felt ashamed of it. (It’s fictional/drawn porn, but because of the subjects and context, it still caused guilt in me)

But, giving up my bisexual lifestyle was tricky (I’m actually a virgin, to be honest, but I’ve still done stuff that is considered acting on it), especially since I’m a supporter of gay rights and equality in terms of things not romantic, such as the work place and the right to not be harassed.

In fact, it’s easy to say I don’t fully understand why homosexuality is wrong, but I follow the church personally out of trust in God and obedience.

Sometimes I get sad about it, thinking “Why should I give up being me for God?” then I think of all the great things Jesus did and figure, “Well, HE gave up everything for ME, so perhaps it won’t hurt to give up something like bisexuality for him.”
 
(I’m not sure if this is the correct location, please feel free to move!)

I am a huge Catholic.
I am a huge sinner.

I love God and I feel sad to feel separate from Him. I can’t feel connected to Him so I just keep looking. Does He listen to my prayers if I sin in such huge ways? I pray everyday and have good intentions but I just mess up a lot. I don’t want to be punished for just messing up 🤷
The first step to acheiving real holiness is acknowledging our faults and sinfulness. Real saints do that. Rear saints are not perfect. Truth be told, Scap, we are all sinners. You are simply more honest and forthright about than most. I really believe God honors that in you. He hates your sin and knows that your sins are keeping you from loving Him more.

I am certain that God loves you very much. He knows your struggle and He knows how much it means to you to stop sinning.

So, take a deep breath…You are doing just fine. Now, go to work and do the things that several of the previous posters have written. Avoid those near occasions and let God work through and on you. Pray always especially when temptations overwhelm you. Invite the Holy Spirit into your life, your home, your bedroom or wherever your sins take place.

After all, if you know the Holy Spirit is in the house, you won’t even want to sin…

God bless your walk to sainthood…
 
(I’m not sure if this is the correct location, please feel free to move!)

I am a huge Catholic.

>>Keep reading what that means (faith and act, not faith alone). I tell my protestant friends the same thing so that they will someday better understand truth.

I am a huge sinner.

>>We are all sinners, but if we are honest with ourselves, we are working to be better Christians, not ones that are constantly justifying our actions that contradict the Church.

I look at pornography, I ‘touch myself’, I miss Mass, I’m gay and out, and I get drunk.
All of these are/include regular occasions.

>>It sounds like you have some work to do. I suggest spending more time in God’s house (not just the 60 minutes a week) and praying, keep learning about your faith, unite yourself with Christian Catholic role models that you want to be like…i.e. join some ministries, leverage the Sacramento of Reconciliation (not just once a year), and sacrifice by giving to the poor and needy through charities and other means. After you do this for a while, reassess where you’re at and where you want to go. Until then, I’m sure you can continue to justify your actions.

I don’t want to go to hell. I love God and I feel sad to feel separate from Him. I can’t feel connected to Him so I just keep looking. Does He listen to my prayers if I sin in such huge ways? I pray everyday and have good intentions but I just mess up a lot. I don’t want to be punished for just messing up 🤷

>>We’re all on a journey, so I hope yours becomes a good one. You don’t know what you don’t know. God is a loving God, so take advantage of him/her. 😉
 
First off, as someone else said, you are not alone!

I’m just concerned as to why you have felt the need to ask for advise here, when these problems (which, again, you are not alone with!), belong first in the confessional.

You didn’t mention confession in your post. Perhaps you are confessing frequently, or perhaps not. We cannot guess. But it makes all the difference to any response. So, my first advise, is to go to confession, frequently (weekly, if possible), and trust the pardon you receive, and also trust the advise you receive from your confessor. If you are already confessing frequently, and still feel frustrated with your habits (which is understandable), then that is a different matter (although, “trust the confessional” still applies as the first, second, third and last maxim).
 
So go to confession and stop sinning.
Stop looking at pornography,
Stop …
Stop …
And stop getting drunk.

All of the above are things you are deciding to do, and you can decide to stop doing them. It is your choice.
(Emphasis added)

And how did that work out for you, when **you **decided to stop sinning? Never been to confession since?
 
(Emphasis added)

And how did that work out for you, when **you **decided to stop sinning? Never been to confession since?
Ah come on now. That’s a low blow.

It would be ideal if we could all just stop sinning, but all of us have moments of weakness. The point is to move towards recognizing those and avoiding them for starters. Even then though, there will probably be other things or maybe the same thing. Be sorry for it, go to confession, ask God to help you to sin no more. It’s a hard life, but that’s why Christ gave us confession.
I look at pornography, I ‘touch myself’, I miss Mass, I’m gay and out, and I get drunk.
All of these are/include regular occasions.
The bolded one is one you really need to think about. By being “out”, what you’ve done is defined yourself by 1 characteristic. You’ve put your sexuality before everything else, and that is not healthy. What about likes, dislikes, favourite sports teams, favourite bands, hobbies, skills, jobs, school? You need to realize that there is more to you than just sexuality.
 
Ah come on now. That’s a low blow.

It would be ideal if we could all just stop sinning, but all of us have moments of weakness. The point is to move towards recognizing those and avoiding them for starters. Even then though, there will probably be other things or maybe the same thing. Be sorry for it, go to confession, ask God to help you to sin no more. It’s a hard life, but that’s why Christ gave us confession.

The bolded one is one you really need to think about. By being “out”, what you’ve done is defined yourself by 1 characteristic. You’ve put your sexuality before everything else, and that is not healthy. What about likes, dislikes, favourite sports teams, favourite bands, hobbies, skills, jobs, school? You need to realize that there is more to you than just sexuality.
Actually I haven’t defined myself by that characteristic alone. I never have and never will. I’m very happy and proud that God made me gay, but it is also a cross, so that’s why I decided to share it. I resent that you expound on my entire personality claiming you know my entire psychology based on reading two sentences I’ve posted and not knowing me from atom.

I didn’t ask for advice on how to hate myself and effectively closet myself again, I asked for advice on how to continue to build a relationship with Christ in the face of sin. Something we all struggle with, gay or straight. Thank you!
 
I asked for advice on how to continue to build a relationship with Christ in the face of sin. Something we all struggle with, gay or straight. Thank you!
Here’s a start…

humility against pride
kindness against envy
abstinence against gluttony
chastity against lust
patience against anger
liberality against greed
diligence against sloth

Good luck on your journey!
 
We, as human-beings, are imperfect. You are no different. I would say that the first thing you need to recognize is this.

The second thing you need to know is that God longs to forgive you. Tomorrow is always a new day, and it is never too late to start over. Hell, if you wanted to, you could start over right now, at this very moment. Clearly, God knows you, is in you, because you are contemplating your sins, and you are sad because you are far away from him.

The third thing you need to realize is that, because you fall short of all that God can do, you must know that you cannot go this one alone. You do not have the strength or endurance to do so. None of us do.

The fourth thing you need to know is that, no matter what, you will always be God’s child. In the most important way of all, you are his little boy, and he delights in you, and is very proud of you. It makes him sad that you have chosen to stray from him, but he will always forgive you, especially knowing what kind of mind-set you are in right now.

You clearly love God. You need to know that he loves you, too, and that he will never stop loving you.

I know that this is hard for you. I also have a problem with pornography and masturbation, and am bi-sexual. However, I am trying to take steps to stop. I’m thinking of buying the series, “Pure of Heart.” I might be a woman, but I have the same problem as you do, and I hope that this series helps.

I have a little prayer that I had made up a couple years ago for occasions as difficult of yours. It is simple, but effective, and he answers me. It goes like this:

God, please help me, because I can’t do this by myself.

Usually, during times at which I recite this prayer, I’m at my lowest point, and have gone down as far as I can go. But, after I say it, I feel that I can talk to God. We ‘discuss’ the issue: I talk, and he listens, and, if I allow myself to open my heart to him, I can literally feel his presence around me.

Brother, we are both children of God, and, therefore, in a very spiritual way, that makes me your sister. Families were always meant to support each other in hard times, and I am supporting you.

Let’s support each other on this journey. Let’s start right now. Please understand that I want to get to know you better, that I want to help you. I know it’s hard. I know it hurts. I just want you to know: you are not alone.

I’m going to send you an invitation to be my friend. I get on my computer every day for several hours. Part of being a ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ in Christ means that we are a family, and families always help each other. They listen to each other. Brother, let me listen to you. Let me help you.

You don’t have to do this alone. We can walk this road together, and we may not be able to climb this mountain in a day, but, with team-work and faith that God wants to help us, we can make it to the summit. It’s not going to be an easy ride. It’s going to be a bumpy road, with a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. I can’t promise you a rose garden, because I’m not God, after all. But we’ll get there.

Together, we can do this. You and me. All you have to do is take my hand. Returning to God isn’t easy, brother, but I am here for you. You may not know me, but I am here, and I am here to help.

Dry your tears, get up, take my hand, and let’s start walking. A journey like this one doesn’t start with you just sitting around. It’s time to start again.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top