Scared of confession

[HelpingStranger]

Hello fellow Catholics!
so I was recently baptised and things have been great, I’ve attended mass regularly and received Holy Communion however I have committed a mortal sin and I’m afraid to go to confession for I’m afraid that my parish priest might perhaps think less of me. It’s a pickle as there isn’t anywhere else nearby that i could go to confess. Has anyone else ever experienced this feeling ? any advice?

 

[Jon_S_1]

Go to confession. The priest will not think anything of you. He hears thousands of confessions and won’t remember yours. Most parishes also let you confess behind a screen so that you are anonymous. Just go to confession and enjoy receiving Gods mercy. It is a very powerful sacrament.

Remember not to receive communion until you go to confession.

God bless!

 

[oldgraymare2]

Hi Helping Stranger,

Please don’t be afraid to go to confession. The priests are there to help us, and to guide us. There isn’t anything that they haven’t already heard before, in terms of sins.

God bless you, and welcome to the church.

 

[808Catholic]

I vote with the other posters so far: go to confession. Mortal sins are pretty serious (or they wouldn’t be termed “mortal”) so take them seriously. I’m sure your confessor will be understanding and I can’t believe you have a new sin that he hasn’t already heard. Don’t give in to the evil one and put it off. Trust in God’s love and know that He will forgive you. God is Great!

 

[AKDee]

I was baptized at Easter. By last weekend I had a number of sins listed, one mortal. I was completely ashamed, and utterly terrified to go to confession. The same priest who had baptized me the week before would hear my confession. What must he think? How depraved must I be that in one week I couldn’t avoid a mortal sin? I was tempted to go to another parish, due to the shame, but decided not to. And I went face to face, and got on my knees before the priest and listed my sins. It was my first confession in my life. My voice quavered, and I felt nothing but shame as I told this priest, standing in for Christ, of my failures.

I’m glad I did. In the end, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. My penance wasn’t so bad, and it felt really good to be absolved. I still feel shame for what I did, but believe I am forgiven. After, I did the prescribed penance there in the Church, and because I knew I was back in a state of grace I followed it up with a Rosary for the Holy Souls in Purgatory, as it would do them some good right then. That felt good.

I’m sure I will always feel shame when I go to Reconciliation and I think I’m supposed to, but I also think I’ll always feel better for having gone.

 

[Jon_S_1]

I vote with the other posters so far: go to confession. Mortal sins are pretty serious (or they wouldn’t be termed “mortal”) so take them seriously. I’m sure your confessor will be understanding and I can’t believe you have a new sin that he hasn’t already heard. Don’t give in to the evil one and put it off. Trust in God’s love and know that He will forgive you. God is Great!

I would recommend since the OP hasn’t been to a Catholic Church since his infant baptism, that he talk to the parish priest and/or director of religious Ed for some guidance and instruction before just going to the sacrament of reconciliation…seeing as he has not made a first reconciliation.

 

[Antegin]

The first observation I would make is see the priest because as a neophyte, it is more likely you are dealing with scruples than mortal sin.
The next observation is, there is no sin you could do that your priest hasn’t heard already many times.
Give yourself a break.

 

[akrulisky]

I have another type of question about Reconciliation. I just came into the Catholic Church at Easter Vigil 2015 and went to confession before that and had a mortal sin to confess. Now I have a different problem, I had confessed to violating the 2nd Commandment during my first confession three weeks ago. Then I messed up and went to confession again last week for the same offense. Last night, I did it a third time. It just popped out when I got angry with my kids. Now I am in the position of having to confess a 3rd time the same sin and am very ashamed and mortified. Is taking God’s name in vain as in the 2nd commandment a mortal or venial sin? I know I need to confess it again, no matter what, but do I need to hurry up and do it, not take communion until I do, or am I being too scrupulous, as someone said to me. Also, what wisdom in avoiding another repeat event. I truly value God’s Holy name. Also, it is hard because at our parish we only do face to face confessions, and although Father is a wonderful and caring priest, his eyes are so searching that it is hard for me to look at him when I make such a confession. I do pray the Rosary daily, do devotions and read the daily scriptures and sometimes go to mass during the week. I just feel so awful right now.

 

[Jon_S_1]

I have another type of question about Reconciliation. I just came into the Catholic Church at Easter Vigil 2015 and went to confession before that and had a mortal sin to confess. Now I have a different problem, I had confessed to violating the 2nd Commandment during my first confession three weeks ago. Then I messed up and went to confession again last week for the same offense. Last night, I did it a third time. It just popped out when I got angry with my kids. Now I am in the position of having to confess a 3rd time the same sin and am very ashamed and mortified. Is taking God’s name in vain as in the 2nd commandment a mortal or venial sin? I know I need to confess it again, no matter what, but do I need to hurry up and do it, not take communion until I do, or am I being too scrupulous, as someone said to me. Also, what wisdom in avoiding another repeat event. I truly value God’s Holy name. Also, it is hard because at our parish we only do face to face confessions, and although Father is a wonderful and caring priest, his eyes are so searching that it is hard for me to look at him when I make such a confession. I do pray the Rosary daily, do devotions and read the daily scriptures and sometimes go to mass during the week. I just feel so awful right now.

Here are some resources for you to read. I suggest you try to stop this habit, but at your next confession spend some time talking to the priest about it. Ask him if it’s mortal sin and ask for recommendations on changing it.

vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c1a2.htm

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=49607&highlight=lord%27s+name+vain

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=190568

 

[acadiANNA]

Do not think of confession as something to dread or be afraid of. Think of how a good confession will remove the stain of sin. Knowing you are in the good graces of God is a freeing feeling. You can better serve Him.

The priest will never think less of you for the sins you confess. He will not remember them.

From a list I have from a Catholic Church:
Using God’s name frivolously is a venial sin.
Using God’s name as a purposeful curse is a mortal sin.

On this same list is: Putting off confession is a venial sin.

Pray daily for the strength to avoid the occasion of sin, especially for those sins you have just been absolved from.

God bless you.

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

You are starting to exorcise your humility, and obedience. These are hard spiritual graces to awaken. During your confession mention your embarrassment of confessing to local priest because it diminishes your pride. This will help for future reconciliations.

Sometimes when I goto confession and there is a long line. I also lime to pray for each person who goes into confession before me because of this prayer:

I confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do; and I ask blessed Mary, ever virgin, all the angels and saints, and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God.

 

[nodito]

I would recommend since the OP hasn’t been to a Catholic Church since his infant baptism, that he talk to the parish priest and/or director of religious Ed for some guidance and instruction before just going to the sacrament of reconciliation…seeing as he has not made a first reconciliation.

The OP said he was recently baptized, leading me to believe he is an adult and was likely baptized at Easter. It may be his first reconciliation, but they probably covered how to do it at RCIA.

 

[KD8TZC]

I can’t add more than what others have said, but also think of confession as God saying to you, please give me another chance to love you by confessing your sins to me.

 

[akrulisky]

Jon Said, “Here are some resources for you to read. I suggest you try to stop this habit, but at your next confession spend some time talking to the priest about it. Ask him if it’s mortal sin and ask for recommendations on changing it.”

Although it happens rarely, it just pops out in the heat of the moment and am now I a state of deep remorse. From what I read from your references, there are some who say it is a mortal sin, so to confession I will go this Saturday. I will definitely ask this question of Father, but there is little time for such discussion in the confessional, as things move very quickly and he usually says little. That said, I have no other sins to confess, so it might not take long. I am extremely upset with myself and endeavor to find God’s Grace to help me NEVER commit this sin again. Thanks for your reply.

 

[Jon_S_1]

The OP said he was recently baptized, leading me to believe he is an adult and was likely baptized at Easter. It may be his first reconciliation, but they probably covered how to do it at RCIA.

I wrote this back in the wrong thread…oops!! EDIT: actually maybe you copied it from a different thread??

 

[CatholicRaven]

You may or may not be mortally sinning, so it’s best to ask your priest about it to help you determine that. Even so, going to Confession each time you do it will probably help break a sinful habit (whether venial or mortal) faster than without Confession.

Remember that you’re still “unlearning” bad habits (as are we all). It takes time to break bad habits and replace them with new (good) ones, so be firm and consistent, but gentle with yourself when you make a mistake. The best way to break a bad habit is to just keep chipping away at it; each time you fall, get back up and try again!

You’d probably be surprised how many of us confess the same sins over and over, because each of us has a vice with which we particularly struggle throughout our lives. With God’s grace, we can overcome them–but that’s not to say it will be easy or that we’ll get it right every single day, every single time. That’s why we have the gift of Confession!

As for Confession, as others have said, it’s very unlikely that your priest will even remember what you said in the Confessional.

In fact, I have a relative who is a Catholic priest and whom we see often, and he was recently hearing (not quite face-to-face, but sort of side-by-side) Confessions at a fairly large retreat my teenaged daughter attended. As luck would have it, she ended up with him as her Confessor (she was embarrassed, but went through it anyway). A week later, at a family gathering, she mentioned the retreat, and he commented that he was there, too, but didn’t see her there. He didn’t even realize he’d heard her Confession (and she wasn’t about to remind him)!

And even if by some chance your priest did remember, he’s aware that some habits are difficult to break and he doesn’t expect you to be perfect overnight. He’s not there to judge you; he’s there to heal you.

Our parish priest has said that one of the things he loves about being a priest is that Confession truly gives him a sense of Fatherhood–that when someone comes to him for Confession, he feels so proud of them for that! And he loves that he can extend God’s mercy to them and be a part of their healing and reconciliation with God.

I’ve been a practicing Catholic for 15 years, and I still feel anxious about Confession sometimes, I admit. Something that helps me is to remember that the Sacrament of Confession isn’t about shame or judgment, it’s about God’s mercy and love.

Will pray for you!

 

[akrulisky]

You may or may not be mortally sinning, so it’s best to ask your priest about it to help you determine that.

Remember that you’re still “unlearning” bad habits (as are we all). It takes time to break bad habits and replace them with new (good) ones, so be firm and consistent, but gentle with yourself when you make a mistake. The best way to break a bad habit is to just keep chipping away at it; each time you fall, get back up and try again!

You’d probably be surprised how many of us confess the same sins over and over, because each of us has a vice with which we particularly struggle throughout our lives. With God’s grace, we can overcome them–but that’s not to say it will be easy or that we’ll get it right every single day, every single time. That’s why we have the gift of Confession!

As for Confession, as others have said, it’s very unlikely that your priest will even remember what you said in the Confessional.

Thank you for your well written and helpful reply. I will keep in mind what you have said and, first, ask Father if it is a mortal sin. Regardless of whether it is or not, I will ask for his help. It is vey hard, because we only have one priest at our parish and confession is done face to face with a Father who can look straight into your soul with his eyes. I know he DOES remember, because the second time I confessed this sin, his eyes spoke volumes, not judgmentally, just that searching movement of the eyes. It would be easy to remember for him, also, because for my first confession, it was only me and I had my whole life to confess. That said, I need to remember that whether he remembers or not, is not the point, he is there as Jesus vehicle and to guide me. I have to especially remember this because he is a very stern and serious priest, so it is easy to have that strike fear in my heart with having to confess again such a sin.

It is helpful to know that I am not the only one who struggles with repeating mistakes and must confess the same sin again and again. I also will remember to not be so hard on myself, as you state, for I have been forgiven worse things, I am afraid. What is hard, is that I truly love His Holy Name and do not wish to displease Him.

Again, your reply was very helpful. Thank you.

 

[KCT]

Hello fellow Catholics!
so I was recently baptised and things have been great, I’ve attended mass regularly and received Holy Communion however I have committed a mortal sin and I’m afraid to go to confession for I’m afraid that my parish priest might perhaps think less of me. It’s a pickle as there isn’t anywhere else nearby that i could go to confess. Has anyone else ever experienced this feeling ? any advice?

We’ve all experienced this feeling!!

Go to confession. As others have said, the priest does not remember. Personally, I think the forgetting is one of the graces of holy orders. (can you imagine how bogged down they would be carrying around knowledge of all those sins?!)

 

[akrulisky]

We’ve all experienced this feeling!!

Go to confession. As others have said, the priest does not remember. Personally, I think the forgetting is one of the graces of holy orders. (can you imagine how bogged down they would be carrying around knowledge of all those sins?!)

You are exactly right, they have way too much on their plate to keep a catalogue of who has done what. However, that said, I am struggling with the same thing, but have come to realize that it doesn’t matter if he remembers or not, it is a good experience to have to humble yourself by saying, “Bless me Father for I have sinned, this is my first confession.” Then say what it is you have done, then simply say you are deeply sorry for it. He may or may not give you advice, Father, as a stand in for Jesus Christ, will absolve you of your sin, and give you a penance. You say, “Thank you Father.” Say your act of contrition, then cross yourself and go and do your penance knowing that you are forgiven. It doesn’t get much simpler than that. It sounds like you have not gone to confession yet, since you were baptized and didn’t need to at that time, but because of our sinful nature we need to come to terms with that and accept the gift of Confession and how it builds character in us to have to be contrite about things we would rather keep hidden.

Trust me, as a long time Protestant, I bore the burden of carrying a lifetime of sin. all alone and I willingly accept the discomfort and pain of confessing what I need to be forgiven of. Those few minutes in the Confessional, even if he remembers, which is unlikely, is so much better. The wait to see Father for confession usually takes far longer than your actual confession. God Bless you, and I will be thinking of you when I sit waiting anxiously for my own confession this coming Saturday.

 

[808Catholic]

Jon Said, “Here are some resources for you to read. I suggest you try to stop this habit, but at your next confession spend some time talking to the priest about it. Ask him if it’s mortal sin and ask for recommendations on changing it.”

Although it happens rarely, it just pops out in the heat of the moment and am now I a state of deep remorse. From what I read from your references, there are some who say it is a mortal sin, so to confession I will go this Saturday. I will definitely ask this question of Father, but there is little time for such discussion in the confessional, as things move very quickly and he usually says little. That said, I have no other sins to confess, so it might not take long. I am extremely upset with myself and endeavor to find God’s Grace to help me NEVER commit this sin again. Thanks for your reply.

Confess your sins to the best of your memory and ask for forgiveness for those you can’t remember at the time. Whether they are mortal or venial sins, the priest will determine. If you remember other sins after you complete your penance, you can go back and confess again (another day.)