School bans 9-year-old boy's My Little Pony backpack

[Orogeny]

So its wrong for this little boy to like a wholesome show? I dont get the mentality that its wrong for boys to like things like My Little Pony. The show teaches good values. Isay let the poor kid like whatever he wants. Its ok for girls to like action figures and things aimed at boys, but god forbid a young boy likes my little pony. With all the violent and pointless shows aimed at young boys these days, I would rather my son like a show like my little pony. My fiance is a brony by the way.

That is not the point. The school doesn’t care if he likes My Little Pony.

Peace

Tim

 

[Sarcelle]

As I posted earlier, I was bullied because I was smaller than the bullies. Nothing I could do about that and, like you, I had my share of black eyes and fat lips.

HOWEVER.

To say removing the apparent reason for the bullying equals blaming the victim is ridiculous. You couldn’t change the way you looked and I couldn’t change my size, but this boy can stop carrying the backpack. That isn’t blame, that is a solution to HIS specific problem. That doesn’t excuse the bullies at all. Would it be better that the bullying continued just to make a point?

Peace

Tim

Would you say the same thing if the controversial item was a scapular or a crucifix?

Catholicism isn’t the most popular thing around and I bet bullies wouldn’t hesitate to bully someone who wears a crucifix or scapular.

Would you recommend that they take it off rather than make a point?

Even if the kid takes off the backpack bullies would still.find an excuse to bully.

 

[Dulcinea2721]

This is my 2 cents.

I have a 9 year old daughter and if SHE brought a my little pony backpack to school SHE would probably be made fun of.

The assumption is that it is inappropriate because the child is a boy, could be the other kids just think it is dumb because of the age-appropriateness.

Still do not think that bullying is OK. Why did the mom not call the other parents herself?

I have 4 kids around that age and have received/placed calls to parents when behaviours need to be checked.

 

[Orogeny]

Would you say the same thing if the controversial item was a scapular or a crucifix?

Yes.

Would you recommend that they take it off rather than make a point?

Or wear it beneath a shirt? Yes.

Even if the kid takes off the backpack bullies would still.find an excuse to bully.

Perhaps. Perhaps not. However, if leaving the backpack at home stops the bullying, isn’t that a positive thing?

Peace

Tim

 

[signit]

This is my 2 cents.

I have a 9 year old daughter and if SHE brought a my little pony backpack to school SHE would probably be made fun of.

The assumption is that it is inappropriate because the child is a boy, could be the other kids just think it is dumb because of the age-appropriateness.

Still do not think that bullying is OK. Why did the mom not call the other parents herself?

I have 4 kids around that age and have received/placed calls to parents when behaviours need to be checked.

According to another version of the story, the classmates were saying it was “for girls.”

wric.com/story/24951935/school-wont-let-bullied-boy-bring-my-little-pony-bag-to-class

Even if it wasn’t for that reason, even if it was age-inappropriateness, the bullying still wouldn’t be right. What if one of those kids still plays with stuffed animals? Would it be right to get in their face over it?

 

[DeniseNY]

I have 4 kids around that age and have received/placed calls to parents when behaviours need to be checked.

:clapping:

I wonder who, if anyone, is speaking to the parents of the bullies?

 

[Dulcinea2721]

Even if it wasn’t for that reason, even if it was age-inappropriateness, the bullying still wouldn’t be right. What if one of those kids still plays with stuffed animals? Would it be right to get in their face over it?

I clearly said that bullying was not OK even if it were an age issue.

Bullying is wrong no doubt about it.

Some bullies will change their behaviours once they have been shown the error in their ways ie. how damaging it is to others etc.

Some bullies will always be bullies no matter what.

Now what?

Kids have to learn that when they make a decision to go against popular opinion, some people will take it upon themselves to ridicule or intimidate you for it. They are called bullies.

As a parent I feel the need to teach my kids that standing up for your beliefs (choice of backpack, scapular, crucifix, voicing opinion re: controversial things) will at times cost you.

If your belief (or backpack or professing God)) is that important to you, then it is OK to be independent of the opinion of others. IOW who cares what they say.

 

[lax16]

Would you say the same thing if the controversial item was a scapular or a crucifix?

Catholicism isn’t the most popular thing around and I bet bullies wouldn’t hesitate to bully someone who wears a crucifix or scapular.

Would you recommend that they take it off rather than make a point?

Even if the kid takes off the backpack bullies would still.find an excuse to bully.

When I was in college I attended summer school in Spain with a small group of students from my university (which is in California). Before we went, we attended a mandatory meeting and were given a checklist of what to wear, what not to wear, how to not stand out, etc.

I followed the suggestions to the letter and had zero problems. In fact, I blended in so well in Madrid that I was often asked for directions by Spaniards.

Several of the other gals in my school “insisted that it wasn’t fair that we can’t act like Americans when we travel.” One girl, who everyday wore short-shorts and tank top (unheard of at the time in Spain) was repeatedly groped on the subway.

Another girl went jogging in a local park (unheard of that time in Madrid) in shorts and had on a large piece of jewelry around her neck. A man walked up to her and ripped the necklace right off of her neck.

Do I think they caused the problems? No, I think there were people out there looking to victimize someone and they found an easy target. Same thing here. There are tons of bully-kids just waiting to pounce on their next victim.

Until these bullies stop, kids need to learn how not to become their target. That is what the research shows and I agree.

 

[St_Francis]

I recently attended a conference for educators and it was stated that kids are bullied because they have something about them that makes them a target. He stated that the future of anti-bullying is to focus on removing the bullseye from the back of the victim.

I think this is what the school is attempting to do.

I don’t know why we let androids who clearly have no capacity for human interaction become our educatuonal specialists!

There is a target on the victim’s back because bullies put it there. A different child or a different year, a boy could use a Little Pony backpack and the next day all the kids would have one.

Bullies have an infinite number of targets they toss one at a time at tgeir victims until one sticks. Then they hammer on that target. This is the way of bullies.

The ones who need to be dealt with are the bullies. They are the ones doing the wrong thing. Telling the victims they have to change a possibly unchangeable aspect of themselves helps no one and validates the bullies’ actions.

Ugh! I shudder at what our society is becoming…

 

[Dulcinea2721]

StFrancis

While I agree with most of what you said, and I agree that bullies have to be dealt with.

At times it is more fruitful to deal with the importance we give the bully. Working on yourself will often yield better results than attempting to change others.

Why are we teaching our kids that they require the acceptance of bullies? to change in order to conform to public opinion?

 

[Sarcelle]

When I was in college I attended summer school in Spain with a small group of students from my university (which is in California). Before we went, we attended a mandatory meeting and were given a checklist of what to wear, what not to wear, how to not stand out, etc.

I followed the suggestions to the letter and had zero problems. In fact, I blended in so well in Madrid that I was often asked for directions by Spaniards.

Several of the other gals in my school “insisted that it wasn’t fair that we can’t act like Americans when we travel.” One girl, who everyday wore short-shorts and tank top (unheard of at the time in Spain) was repeatedly groped on the subway.

Another girl went jogging in a local park (unheard of that time in Madrid) in shorts and had on a large piece of jewelry around her neck. A man walked up to her and ripped the necklace right off of her neck.

Do I think they caused the problems? No, I think there were people out there looking to victimize someone and they found an easy target. Same thing here. There are tons of bully-kids just waiting to pounce on their next victim.

Until these bullies stop, kids need to learn how not to become their target. That is what the research shows and I agree.

I agree. One has to exercise prudence in daily life.

When I was in the military we were told that when traveling internationally to wear civilian garb and not military uniform. We were also told not flash around our passport.

That makes sense. However there are aspects of ourselves that we cannot change. I was at times bullied because I was not white. I cannot change my race. I cannot be responsible for a bully’s behavior nor can I always remove myself as a target.

 

[Cider]

Exactly! Kids who are bullies will find some excuse to pick on other kids. The back pack isn’t the problem.

I completely agree. I’m actually astounded that so many people are just saying get rid of the backpack. Sure if the kid wanted to get rid of it fine but the school handled the situation poorly IMO. Giving in to bullys just empowers them more. As usual the kid being picked on is the one that has to remove himself from the abuse, instead of punishing the abusers.

 

[Cider]

You are correct, and banning this child from using his back-back is an ignorant idea. Yes I said ignorant. It places blame and responsibility on potential victims of bullying instead of placing it on bullies. Bullies should be expelled from school, social services sent to their homes to see what is wrong there and be held accountable for their actions. The victims of this behavior need to be reassured they did nothing wrong and allowed to go on in peace.

I would also require the parents of a “bully” to attend classes with them the first year they returned to school. Bet the bully problem would come to a sharp end.

I completely agree. This is learned behavior and the only way to stop it is to go to the source.

 

[Dawnia]

I just saw another article on this case and they are reporting that it was a lunchbox. Anyone know which it is?

 

[EIF5A]

Is it possible some of the replies here are influenced by the perception that society is somehow becoming less traditional and that this bagpack fiasco is really just a symbol for perceived gender (non)-conformity?

 

[signit]

I just saw another article on this case and they are reporting that it was a lunchbox. Anyone know which it is?

According to the picture in this article, it’s a bag rather than a traditional lunchbox.

theblaze.com/stories/2014/03/15/9-year-old-boy-bullied-over-my-little-pony-lunch-bag-school-reportedly-plays-hardball-but-not-with-who-youre-thinking/

 

[Orogeny]

Giving in to bullys just empowers them more. As usual the kid being picked on is the one that has to remove himself from the abuse, instead of punishing the abusers.

How do you know the bullies were not punished?

Peace

Tim

 

[Back2Church]

I think a lot of people are overlooking something simple in this story.

Can you imagine a nine year old kid that would rather stick with his backpack choice to the point of being so scared of going to school that he didn’t even want to get out of the car, rather than ask his parents for a new one?

I agree he should be free to wear whatever backpack he wants, and I also agree that the bullying needs to be dealt with. I’m not blaming the victim or saying that it was his responsibility to change backpacks to stop the bullying. I’m not saying that at all.

I’m simply saying that it’s highly unlikely that he never wanted to get rid of the backpack.

There are victims of bullying that go to great lengths to try and get the bullying to stop. Getting new clothes, new hairstyle, new hair color, new glasses or switch to contacts, start dieting or taking drugs to lose weight, abandon friends that don’t fit in, etc. etc. In essence, many bully victims will actively alter their personal identity just to be free of the bullying. Some even commit suicide to escape.

It’s all horrible and none of it should ever happen. None of it. Ever.

But it does, and many bully victims do what they can to alleviate it, even at the cost of their own personal freedom. That’s why I find it very hard to believe that this boy never wanted to ditch the backpack. My gut feeling is that his mother pushed him into this crusade. Not that her argument against the school is wrong, or anything. But if the child had wanted to get rid of the backpack and she made him stick with it, then she’s practicing her own form of bullying.

 

[signit]

How do you know the bullies were not punished?

Implied by a quote from his mother saying she hoped the bullies would be punished, but instead her son was.

I’m not saying I think the bullies should have been “punished,” but maybe taught, or educated, or corrected.

orlandosentinel.com/features/blogs/gone-viral/os-my-little-pony-bullying-20140318,0,1920109.post

 

[St_Francis]

StFrancis

While I agree with most of what you said, and I agree that bullies have to be dealt with.

At times it is more fruitful to deal with the importance we give the bully. Working on yourself will often yield better results than attempting to change others.

Yes, I agree with you wrt the victim. What I am talking about is the school and tgeir actions. For schools to abandon their responsibility of creating a safe environment for students is abominable.

Removing triggers to bad behavior on the part of some students is not te way to go–it is a stupid Rouseauean idea that the children without triggers will somehow learn to behave? Oh, if we just adjust the environment sufficiently, their innate goodness will come out.

The schools should instead be sorting out how to teach bullies to behave properly, alternatives when they need to be able to speak out, some compassion, etc.

Why are we teaching our kids that they require the acceptance of bullies? to change in order to conform to public opinion?

One does wonder about the motives of the androids…