Screaming Babies at Mass

[zab]

There are some things that can be helpful to those parents who are having a difficult time with their children. One thing for a sympatheic, compassionate person to do, it to get up and sit at the end of the pew, thus making a barrier so the little ones won’t get out of the pew. We have had another good example given to us about the priests who got together and tried to write up something to say to the parents letting them know that it was OK to get up and take their children out when they start acting up. We have also had, in my opinion, a bad example from the OP’s first post of a similar attempt to solve the problem.

I think it all depends on the attitude of the person trying to help. If a person is genuinely trying to help that is one thing, but it does no good to throw mean looks at the parents, or as was the case with my daughter- to get up and follow the pregnant mother with a four year old and a misbehaving two year old to the back of the church and stand directly behind her breathing down her neck. She was visiting out of town and attended Mass at a small older Church. The vestibule was small and the noise from the echo was much louder so she went back into the Nave and stood in the back. If it hadn’t been raining she would have taken her two little ones outside. The treatment that she received from some was not very nice. But after Mass she cried when, another couple told her that she had beautiful children and they appologized for the lack of hospitality shown by some of their members.

 

[Faith1960]

Well, when/if I’m a Priest, the way I would handle the situation is to ignore it during Mass, and then after speak with the parents about it, tell them that it distracts people from the Mass (And impairs them from hearing), and then tell them that if it happens again to simply take their baby out until it comes down. I would do the same with smaller children as well.

Yay!

 

[MissRose73]

I would never approach a parent after Mass to tell them about their children misbehaving. I have at times complimented parents after Mass if their children are exceptionally well behaved even if they are young. I know my mother made sure I knew to behave in church even when young but I did have a few moments as most kids do.

When I go to the EF Masses, the parents who have toddlers and/or infants sit in the back for the most part, if they have older children in the middle sometimes. If the child fusses during Mass, they try to calm the child down in some way, if not working after a minute or so, they remove the child to a separate section outside the sanctuary then return when the child is calm again. None of the places have cry rooms or nurseries with toys in them either. I’ve noticed for the most part that the kids (usually from age 5/6+ )going to EF Masses are generally much more well behaved, dressed appropriately, and participate more/better in the prayers/singing/responses using a missal.

 

[zab]

I would never approach a parent after Mass to tell them about their children misbehaving. I have at times complimented parents after Mass if their children are exceptionally well behaved even if they are young. I know my mother made sure I knew to behave in church even when young but I did have a few moments as most kids do.

When I go to the EF Masses, the parents who have toddlers and/or infants sit in the back for the most part, if they have older children in the middle sometimes. If the child fusses during Mass, they try to calm the child down in some way, if not working after a minute or so, they remove the child to a separate section outside the sanctuary then return when the child is calm again. None of the places have cry rooms or nurseries with toys in them either. I’ve noticed for the most part that the kids (usually from age 5/6+ )going to EF Masses are generally much more well behaved, dressed appropriately, and participate more/better in the prayers/singing/responses using a missal.

Children are all different. Some are not as much as a problem to handle in church as others. That does not mean that the ones who act up are bad. Nor does it necessarily mean that the parents are “oblivious”. It just means that mom has a more difficult time handling some than others. My quiet child who is an adult now, was married now divorced , and no longer goes to Mass. Out of all of my children I had one to throw tantrums beating her head on the floor. She was the most difficult two year old that I had to handle. As an adult, she is the least of my worries. She is married with 5 children attends Mass, Confession and other devotions regularly and yes even the EF . Being a good parent takes practice. And there is a lot of trial and error. They learn what works and what does not work. Sometimes sitting up front so the children can see better works and sometimes it doesn’t.

As far as pointing out that children who attend the EF are generally more well behaved, I don’t think that it is wise for us to make others who perhaps do not attend Mass as often to feel that they do not belong. We should be glad that they are there, with their children. And we should make them feel welcome so that they may bring their children to church more often and get the practice they need

 

[pismopal]

I don’t see how a crying baby can make it impossible to take part in a mass. You can still worship in union with the child. He in his way, you in yours. I can see how it would be difficult to worship the way you want; but the mass is not the way you want, it is the way God wants. And He has not revealed that we are to take those who are uncomfortable (screaming babies) and relegate them to a remote site.

Perhaps the child will be the only one giving proper worship.

I love babies. It’s sort of a Christian thing. Their intrinsic dignity allows, even compels us to ask them the come to mass. For of such is the kingdom of God made.

Ahh. New topic. Now we are moving from loving (a theological virtue) to enjoying (a contemporary priority when paying for an experience)

No. I would not enjoy a crying baby in that setting. But that is not a community event. It is targeted for paying customers. Few are the babies with the wherewithall to gain admittance to such a venue. In that case, I could request a refund and try again later. Complain to management. Have the caregivers banned forevermore. Write a letter to Congress outlawing such behavior. O so many choices.

Don’t you love these discussion

You can’t dismiss the feelings of some by saying that you “love babies”. That is, as you say ,another topic. What isn’t another topic is whether or not a screaming child disturbs some…many, in a religious service. The liturgy of the word consists of…words…words that are intended to be heard including the gospel. You don’t mind a disturbance in the mass but you don’t want a disturbance in a movie. We will agree to disagree. I don’t want to get into silly options such as in your last paragraph. By the way…our “protestant” breatheren do not welcome disturbance in their religious gatherings. That is one of the only things I miss.

 

[dconklin]

Are screaming babies worse than the old guy sitting behind me that snored throughout the homily?

 

[pismopal]

Are screaming babies worse than the old guy sitting behind me that snored throughout the homily?

No…and not worse than the “street person” who shouted insults during mass and then stomped out. Next question.

 

[ConstantineTG]

Yes, Our Lord did say ‘Let the little children come to me’, but three points.

1. He was not in the Temple or synagogue at the time, and so was not saying they had to keep quiet and still in His presence for an hour. We are told He took them in His arms and blessed them - nothing about having to sit down quietly while the grown-ups talked.

Are we going to get to this kind of literalism? C’mon. Consecration doesn’t take place on a dinner table in the upper room during Ceder meal, does it?

Jesus praises the innocence of children, something that we are all sorely lacking in. Children run around church not because they want to be disruptive, but they are oblivious to things going on. Its innocence. Its what God loves.

1. We do let them come, when they are baptised.

And thats the last we see of them. Until their wedding, and then funeral

1. Evidently the Church does not interpret this verse in the same way as some posters, in that attendance at Mass is not required of young children. Do you argue with the Church’s interpretation of the Scriptures?

Care to share what the Church says?

 

[paperwight66]

Since the Church says that very young children do not have to attend Mass, I think it is reasonable to conclude that the Church does not interpret the saying of Jesus,‘Let the little children come to Me’ as meaning that they have to attend Mass.

 

[jimrob]

Sinite parvulos venire ad me, et ne prohibuerunt eos. Talium est enim regnum deum.

 

[ardis3958]

Are screaming babies worse than the old guy sitting behind me that snored throughout the homily?

I just say to myself, “1 Corinthans 15:6, many remain until this present, and some are fallen asleep”.

 

[ardis3958]

No…and not worse than the “street person” who shouted insults during mass and then stomped out. Next question.

This happened often enough in my old huge urban cathedral parish that it became routine.

One day the Cardinal was in the middle of saying mass and some guy busted in the back and demanded to see him. An usher, without skipping a beat, turned to him and said, “He’ll be down here at the end of mass if you want to see him”. Brilliant.

Predictably, the guy disappeared in the mean time.

 

[pismopal]

This happened often enough in my old huge urban cathedral parish that it became routine.

One day the Cardinal was in the middle of saying mass and some guy busted in the back and demanded to see him. An usher, without skipping a beat, turned to him and said, “He’ll be down here at the end of mass if you want to see him”. Brilliant.

Predictably, the guy disappeared in the mean time.

It is amazing the way the way people behave in a Catholic mass…never ceases to amaze, perplex and sometimes *****'s me off. The same people leave mass after taking Holy Communion…right out the door. We all have pressing things from time to time but the same disrespect by the same people. Shouting street people is usually restricted to certain city areas but I live in a beach community and we get this behavior too. Unlike unhappy loud infants which we must tolerate as Christians…adults are where I draw the line.

 

[ardis3958]

It is amazing the way the way people behave in a Catholic mass…never ceases to amaze, perplex and sometimes *****'s me off. The same people leave mass after taking Holy Communion…right out the door. We all have pressing things from time to time but the same disrespect by the same people. Shouting street people is usually restricted to certain city areas but I live in a beach community and we get this behavior too. Unlike unhappy loud infants which we must tolerate as Christians…adults are where I draw the line.

My sentiments exactly. I was disappointed at the backlash I got for daring to voice the opinion that parents are to be held responsible for children who obviously cannot be held responsible for themselves, but that’s water under the bridge. Yes, “Cellphone with sound on = children” because both are unable to control themselves and are rightly expected to be under the control of responsible adults.

I once heard a story about a priest who dispatched a pair of acolytes armed with lit candles to go follow someone out the door who left immediately after taking communion

 

[ConstantineTG]

Since the Church says that very young children do not have to attend Mass, I think it is reasonable to conclude that the Church does not interpret the saying of Jesus,‘Let the little children come to Me’ as meaning that they have to attend Mass.

The Church also doesn’t obligate us to pray the Rosary. Maybe we should all stop that as well.

This is the problem with legalism, just because its not legislated as a “must-do”, we start interpreting it that “then we don’t have to”. Children definitely get something out of Mass, even though there is no legislation for them for the Sunday Obligation. Unless you believe God’s graces is limited to those of the age of reason.

 

[ConstantineTG]

My sentiments exactly. I was disappointed at the backlash I got for daring to voice the opinion that parents are to be held responsible for children who obviously cannot be held responsible for themselves, but that’s water under the bridge. Yes, “Cellphone with sound on = children” because both are unable to control themselves and are rightly expected to be under the control of responsible adults.

I once heard a story about a priest who dispatched a pair of acolytes armed with lit candles to go follow someone out the door who left immediately after taking communion

Wow. Really. I’m just at that point I’m about to lose charity and start breaking forum rules here.

But before I do, think about this, cellphones do not have souls that need to be saved by God’s grace.

 

[freddo]

People need to learn to put their loud children in the sound proof rooms and that the mass is far too important for them to bring their loud children into to it .

Mass is way too important to be interrupted by children .

Are you serious? The Mass is too important for children? What about the children’s parents? Our parish doesn’t have a sound proof room anyway.

Yes. Most families I know with young children (mine included) never step inside a movie house with small children. Apparently that is whats happening. Is that really want we want to happen? Drive away families from church?

It’s true. We never take our kids to movies (except the Smurfs :lol, but I like to attend Mass, and I feel that it’s important for me to do so. This means the kids have to come. Of course, I also think it’s important for them to attend Mass anyway.

Yes, “Cellphone with sound on = children” because both are unable to control themselves and are rightly expected to be under the control of responsible adults.

Well…our priest’s cell phone went off during one of his homilies. I guess that means it’s okay for me to bring my kids to Mass then.

Our priest is sometimes nice about kids, sometimes a jerk, so I don’t really know where we stand with him. But, for the most part, the other parishoners have been really supportive. My husband got up to take a crying baby out once, and the man in front turned around to tell me not to worry about bothering people by taking crying babies out, that it was a sound we should hear more often. A priest in another parish, a lovely man, once said it was nice to hear the sounds of praise coming from the back (my baby was making happy baby noises). This morning, as I took my seat in the very back, the sacristan came and asked us to sit closer because the mikes weren’t working or something. Afterwards, I asked the couple in front of us if my kids had bothered them. The lady gave me a huge smile and said of course not, she’d had six herself and remembered what it was like.

Overwhelmingly, I have found that people are really nice about having kids at Mass. Reading threads like this makes me wonder how many are sitting, seething in the pews. I try to be very conscious of my kids bugging everybody else, and sit in the back. But I also want my kids to grow up with an appreciation of the Mass, and having it be a very normal part of their lives. I can’t do that if they never attend.

 

[pnewton]

Yes, “Cellphone with sound on = children” because both are unable to control themselves and are rightly expected to be under the control of responsible adults.

Wow! What a comparison. I have two questions. Have you ever had children? How does one put a child on vibrate or mute?

 

[ConstantineTG]

Wow! What a comparison. I have two questions. Have you ever had children? How does one put a child on vibrate or mute?

Do you also get free upgrades to children if you renew your contract every 2 years?

 

[Sarabande]

Wow! What a comparison. I have two questions. Have you ever had children? How does one put a child on vibrate or mute?

Well, they do sell pacifiers with the words “Mute Button” on them.

In all seriousness, I agree you can’t compare a non-living, soul-less instrument to a human. While I understand not liking screaming babies at mass, I think this is a rare occurrence when parents just sit there and let their baby scream uncontrollably without doing anything. I’ve seen more of parents being able to either calm their babies and children right in the pews or take them out.

One thing that I’ve always remember was what a former boss of mine said at mass. It was Christmas Eve and there were lots of children and babies. The church was filled with the sounds of little babies. During the homily he mentioned how wonderful of a sound it was to him to hear so many babies at mass. He stressed that those babies and the children were the future of the Church and he wished he heard more of those sounds at every mass.