Screaming Babies at Mass

[Allayne]

I find it quite disturbing that there are so many comments about Mass being too important to be interrupted by children. Christ teaches us about love and acceptance, and the Mass is one venue He uses to do it. So how does it work that we’re unwilling to love and accept in the very place where we’re being taught to do so?

Yes, parents should be considerate of others in the congregation, but as it has been posted already, if these children are baptised, they have just as much a right to be in Mass as anyone else. Crying babies are a sign of life within our parish communities. Ours is a church that respects life and does everything to make sure these children are brought into the world. We cannot claim to respect life until a child is born and then banish him to the cry room until he’s old enough to act like a little adult. We can model good behavior and hope that other parents follow the lead, but we need to be tolerant if they don’t. We don’t know what they’re dealing with and we really have no right to judge.

The congregation in my parish understands that there are just things that children are going to disturb and rather than getting angry about it, we celebrate it. When a child starts crying, Father makes a kind comment to put the mortified parent at ease. In the case of an older child, he may ask the child to stand next to him and hold his rosary. When a toddler runs to her daddy as he’s reading from the lectionary, we all smile as he picks her up and continues to read. We purposely do not have a cry room because our priests want the children and their parents to be at Mass…in the same room…as part of the community of believers, not apart from it.

 

[ConstantineTG]

I hate the Noise of screaming babies (not the baby themself obviously)
But I have had MANY sermons and music totally ruined by a screaming kid in my pew!

You can’t separate the screaming and crying from a baby. Its like saying, “I love birds but I hate the tweeting (not the internet kind of tweeting)”.

 

[ardis3958]

Christ teaches us about love and acceptance

I disagree, but that’s for another thread.

if these children are baptised, they have just as much a right to be in Mass as anyone else.

Even if they have tuberculosis? Think, girl, think.

Crying babies are a sign of life

…and a sign of lax parenting. But it’s also a sign of death. A child who doesn’t know you’re supposed to be quiet in church is a child who who hasn’t been to church much.

Ours is a church that respects life

…and one that respects order.

We cannot claim to respect life until a child is born and then banish him to the cry room until he’s old enough to act like a little adult.

Right and wrong depend on the circumstances. Sometimes it is right to banish a child to the cry room until he’s old enough to act like a little adult. Is there a problem with acting like an adult? With the exercise of parental control? Or is the concept of exclusion itself the problem?

We don’t know what they’re dealing with

If they are sitting in the pew in front of you, it shouldn’t be hard to figure it out. All parents everywhere deal with more or less the same things. And certain family situations are pretty obvious if you have eyes to see (Mark 8:18).

and we really have no right to judge.

Judging is how we rule our lives. Indiscriminateness spells the death of a society.

The congregation in my parish understands that there are just things that children are going to disturb and rather than getting angry about it, we celebrate it. When a child starts crying, Father makes a kind comment to put the mortified parent at ease. In the case of an older child, he may ask the child to stand next to him and hold his rosary. When a toddler runs to her daddy as he’s reading from the lectionary, we all smile as he picks her up and continues to read. We purposely do not have a cry room because our priests want the children and their parents to be at Mass…in the same room…as part of the community of believers, not apart from it.

Just because something is cute doesn’t make it OK.

 

[pnewton]

I find it quite disturbing that there are so many comments about Mass being too important to be interrupted by children. Christ teaches us about love and acceptance, and the Mass is one venue He uses to do it. So how does it work that we’re unwilling to love and accept in the very place where we’re being taught to do so?

I agree totally, but will add that this means we also must be accepting of the adult that grumbles about noisy kids. We all have our own areas of weakness and in the Church there are some more sick than others. The adult who gets angry and loses all peace from the noise, the parent who is too selfish to consider others’ needs and refuses to budge on principle, both very much need the Grace of God, as do we all, so that we may learn to put the needs of others before our own.

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

I agree totally, but will add that this means we also must be accepting of the adult that grumbles about noisy kids. We all have our own areas of weakness and in the Church there are some more sick than others. The adult who gets angry and loses all peace from the noise, the parent who is too selfish to consider others’ needs and refuses to budge on principle, both very much need the Grace of God, as do we all, so that we may learn to put the needs of others before our own.

Awesome post as usual pnewton!

 

[Mamanurse]

My priest tells me that he himself has no problems with screaming babies at Mass as he can just speak louder. It also reminds him the Church continues to grow as these screaming babies now are the future of the CC.

Just one thought, Christ said let the children come to me…not the well behaved children or only the children above the age of reason, but ALL the children. Why should this excuse a crying baby? I am quite disturbed by some of the responses. My DH does not attend mass with me as he is not Catholic. I attend Mass with my 5 yr old son with Down syndrome and I have another one on the way…If my newborn is screaming and I am just as flustered trying to deal with two children, I can only hope that I am not sitting near any of these posters who seem to think of kids as a burden.

 

[ColNY]

My priest tells me that he himself has no problems with screaming babies at Mass as he can just speak louder. It also reminds him the Church continues to grow as these screaming babies now are the future of the CC.

Just one thought, Christ said let the children come to me…not the well behaved children or only the children above the age of reason, but ALL the children. Why should this excuse a crying baby? I am quite disturbed by some of the responses. My DH does not attend mass with me as he is not Catholic. I attend Mass with my 5 yr old son with Down syndrome and I have another one on the way…If my newborn is screaming and I am just as flustered trying to deal with two children, I can only hope that I am not sitting near any of these posters who seem to think of kids as a burden.

My father once told me when I was a baby and a bit squirmy and my father was gettinig embarrassed by it and trying to keep me quiet, a kind older gentleman behind him tapped my dad on the shoulder and said to him “it bothers you more than it bothers the rest of us.” I’ve watched my dad pay that message forward to parents since then—and I’ve done the same since then.

I once had a parishioner—my pediatrician from my youth–say to me after Mass one day when one of my kids was more restless (and frustrating) than other times (he learned at 18 months if he did misbehave, the “reward” was going to the crying room and hanging with the kids), that she was impressed with how good my kids were. . .I started to laugh since I was feeling like that “prideful” parent some of the more judgemental posters have talked about. Well, she looked at me and said “hey–don’t you think Jesus tested Mary and Joseph too? C’mon–he got lost on them!” I hugged her!

We wink, smile and wave at curious kids, offer a sympathetic smile to a frazzled parent, and for those that cry, we just learn to tune out and offer up—because we never know what else is going on.

 

[ColNY]

The congregation in my parish understands that there are just things that children are going to disturb and rather than getting angry about it, we celebrate it. When a child starts crying, Father makes a kind comment to put the mortified parent at ease. In the case of an older child, he may ask the child to stand next to him and hold his rosary. When a toddler runs to her daddy as he’s reading from the lectionary, we all smile as he picks her up and continues to read. We purposely do not have a cry room because our priests want the children and their parents to be at Mass…in the same room…as part of the community of believers, not apart from it.

I wish all priests were like that–because it sets the tone for the entire parish. It makes parents feel at ease and lets others around them know that this acceptance is expected from them as well.

Contrast that with the parish in which a young family takes a seat and before they’ve even put down the kneeler, they’re getting dirty looks from those who wish “not to be disturbed” and assume that there will be noise—suddenly, this family no longer feels welcome, the parents’ tension plays off the kids, and affects their behavior.

I’d rather be in Mass with a few restless kids than to worship somewhere that life is discussed as paramount, but the message is be like me or be gone.

 

[Granola_Catholi]

There are many ways to survive mass with kids . A crying baby has many causes, it is best to evaluate why the baby is crying, is it the normal nap time? Is it a time when the baby might be hungry? If the baby is a nursling these issues can both be solved by a quick feed right before mass, try to get there a few minutes early, find a quiet spot. I used to use a classroom, or the bridal room. Someone once told me that the most beautiful sound to God was that of a baby. It means that the church has a future.

 

[Faith1960]

My priest tells me that he himself has no problems with screaming babies at Mass as he can just speak louder. It also reminds him the Church continues to grow as these screaming babies now are the future of the CC.

Just one thought, Christ said let the children come to me…not the well behaved children or only the children above the age of reason, but ALL the children. Why should this excuse a crying baby? I am quite disturbed by some of the responses. My DH does not attend mass with me as he is not Catholic. I attend Mass with my 5 yr old son with Down syndrome and I have another one on the way…If my newborn is screaming and I am just as flustered trying to deal with two children, I can only hope that I am not sitting near any of these posters who seem to think of kids as a burden.

Scripture also says:

Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

 

[PatriceA]

Scripture also says:

Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Which can be interpreted to mean that the parishoners should put young families needs before their own and welcome ALL ages to the mass. After all it is in the best interest of the future of the Catholic Church to encourage future members of the Church to fully participate in the Mass and the best place to start is with the baby that is only disturbing a few and not the many present at mass.

 

[ConstantineTG]

Scripture also says:

Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

So you want other families to be concerned about your needs but you are not concerned about theirs?

 

[Faith1960]

So you want other families to be concerned about your needs but you are not concerned about theirs?

Why would a family need to allow their child to scream and be disruptive during Mass?

 

[ConstantineTG]

Why would a family need to allow their child to scream and be disruptive during Mass?

I don’t think any parent in his right mind allows their children to scream and cry. At some point one realizes there is nothing they can do.

 

[Sarabande]

I’m starting to think that there must be some strange parishes out there because it seems by the way some people are talking, there are tons of families allowing their little ones to scream throughout the entire mass, or much of it. Of the literally 100+ parishes I have freelanced in and worked in regularly, I’ve seen this phenomenon happen very rarely. Where are these parishes located that this problem is a common occurrence?

I agree that parents should not just allow their child/baby to scream and be a disturbance and I also believe that children after a certain age have no excuse to be noisy, but for the most part people either calm their child down within a couple of minutes or less than that or they do take them out. It just seems really odd that there is so much vitriol about this when it appears to be such a rare occurrence. I’m wondering if there is something lost in the communication of the written word or that people are just not truly reading what each other is saying. I mean, I don’t think there is anyone here advocating allowing babies and toddlers to scream and make noise throughout the entire mass. Or are there actually people on here who truly believe that no sound is permissible and that babies/toddlers should be banned from mass, unless they are absolutely still and quiet, even if their parents can calm them down in a reasonable amount of time?

 

[Faith1960]

I don’t think any parent in his right mind allows their children to scream and cry. At some point one realizes there is nothing they can do.

They’re unable to take the little one out?

 

[zab]

We went out to dinner tonight and there was a baby screaming there. Guess what? The parents didn’t allow their child’s noise to inturrupt the other diners; they calmed the child down within 30 or so seconds.** If they’d been unable to, I guess they would’ve picked the baby up and taken him/her away from the tables until he/she quieted down.** I’ve noticed that that happens most often when babies or kids are loud when we go out to eat. Perhaps some parents feel that if one has to pay for an experience, it’s worth it to show others some courtesy. :tsktsk:

Why would a family need to allow their child to scream and be disruptive during Mass?

 

[Jesus_123]

:bible1:
But Jesus said to them:
Suffer the little children, and forbid them not
to come to me:
for the kingdom of heaven is for such.
- Matthew 19:14

+In all charity and peace . . I’m sorry but I found the original post depicting babies as . . . “screaming” . . . “out of control” . . . and . . . “monsters” . . . incredibly sad . . . and . . . really . . . really . . . ugly and **self-centered ** judgemental word choices . . . which exhibit an essentially hostile and prejudicial attitude against innocent vulnerable infants . . . who in actuality are warmly and lovingly received and greatly beloved of our Wonderful Lord . . . the revealed unforgiving negative and hostile attitude toward children . . . in particular toward babies . . . exhibited in the original post’s wording . . . *to my mind *. . . exhibits a far more worse problem . . . adult selfishness and antipathy toward children . . . which is a spiritually toxic and contagious attitude that poisons even the air we breath during the Holy prayer of the Celebration of the Mass . .

*God bless the little :thankyou: shaw: children . . . and their beleagered parents . . . *

. . . all for Jesus+
. . . thank You Lord for so wonderfully
and mercifully loving our little ones+
​

 

[zab]

They’re unable to take the little one out?

I think that they would do everything that they could, just like you think that the perfect little family in the restaurant would.

 

[Jesus_123]

Well, when/if I’m a Priest, the way I would handle the situation is to ignore it during Mass, and then after speak with the parents about it, tell them that it distracts people from the Mass (And impairs them from hearing), and then tell them that if it happens again to simply take their baby out until it comes down. I would do the same with smaller children as well.

+:twocents:

When my three children were little ones 15 and 19 months apart . . . for the most part . . . by God’s grace . . . they were well behaved in Church . . . but if a priest had taken it upon himself to act in the way described above . . . as the rather shy young mother that I definitely was . . . I wouldn’t have felt welcome to ever return to that church from that point on . . . probably even if the priest apologized at a later time I still would have felt that his real feelings had been expressed in his first conversation on the subject . . . and from that point on I wouldn’t have placed either the priest, the church or myself and my children in that situation again . . .

We live in a predominantly pagan society in this day and age where children are frequently openly called . . . “mistakes” . . . and are deliberately planned . . . “against” . . . and are more often than not . . . sadly most unwelcome . . . and as such are aborted/murdered by the millions and millions and millions . . . *we need to be thankful that there are children to be found amongst us as **God’s ** people in our churches during Holy Mass . . . *

. . . all for Jesus+
​