Secret Crushes

  • Thread starter Thread starter KHFW
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
40.png
Katie1723:
This brought back a memory and I had to laugh. More than a few years back a new priest came to our parish. All I knew was that he was young. One Saturday I needed to go to confession. Imagine my surprise when I opened the confessional for face to face and there sat Mel Gibson! I was so unnerved I almost forgot why I was there.
Turned out he was a wonderful priest and the parish was sad to see him transferred some years later.
I think it is very normal to have a crush. But it is just that, and it will pass and someday you will laugh.
I am curious however…what does being good looking have to do with anything? Would he be less of an attraction were he “ugly”?
~ Kathy ~
Click to expand...
Errr…since when is Mel Gibson a priest?
 
40.png
mercygate:
You sound pretty solid to me. I wouldn’t over-pray about it even. Be matter of fact and not over-dramatic when asking the Lord to rescue you. These things may come and go throughout life, and as long as you are intent on keeping your marriage pure and intact, this won’t even look like a speed bump 25 years from now.

A wise old Jesuit I once knew, who had been the spiritual director for formation in his province (when the Society of Jesus was still Catholic [joke]), said about this sort of thing: “These are the kinds of things that men and women just live with.”

His point was that feelings come and go, but the will to sustain our proper (and vowed) commitments in love is what marks our lives.
Click to expand...
Some very good advice here…I will keep you in my prayers. KHFW.
 
40.png
deb1:
What a wise and compassionate priest. He did not make the woman feel foolish but gave her very practical advice.

I think that crushes on authority figures are very common feeling for young women. Certain professions like Drs, Psychologists and Priest are there to listen to us and advise. We tell them our problems and they help us. In many ways they can serve as a substitute father figure.

For some women getting their emotional wires crossed is easy.It doesn’t mean that you can’t overcome these feelings. You have to make a very concentrated effort to push any romantic or even lingering thought out of your head. No matter how hard it is, don’t think about him. This will eventually pass, if you don’t give in to daydreaming about him.
Click to expand...
I definitely agree with you here. I know that I have to be very careful. I had a very bad relationship with my father, and it took me a long time to figure out what was going on with my feelings for male teachers. After a while, I figured out that I wasn’t romantically attracted to them, but I had feelings that mirrored a crush because I had a desparate desire for them to accept me coupled with an intense fear that they would reject me. I’ve gotten past some of these problems, but I still know that I need to be careful, because it doesn’t take much for me to develop an emotional connection to a man. I’ve found that it helps if I talk more to older priests, because then if and when an emotional connection forms, it’s clearly more of an affection for a father and doesn’t get mixed up in my mind with being a crush (or actually develop into a crush). So, for Alan, in my own experience, the feelings are based in the man being like the father I wished for but didn’t have.
 
I secretly have a crush on the seminarian at the church I go to. but i don’t think its a secret cruch anymore cuz I think he knows that I do have a crush on him. But someone told me that the seminarian has a crush on me cuz he tries to flirt when the priest or deacons aren’t around. :hmmm:
 
Maybe we need to establish what “crush” means, and what it doesn’t mean.

If I find a girl physically attractive and/or interesting to talk to, listen to, or whatever, is that a crush, or just someone I admire?

If not, what would make it become a crush? That I get certain feelings when I think about her, or certain dreams of going off together into a low moonset on a raft on a partly cloudy night?

Alan
 
40.png
AlanFromWichita:
Maybe we need to establish what “crush” means, and what it doesn’t mean.

If I find a girl physically attractive and/or interesting to talk to, listen to, or whatever, is that a crush, or just someone I admire?

If not, what would make it become a crush? That I get certain feelings when I think about her, or certain dreams of going off together into a low moonset on a raft on a partly cloudy night?

Alan
Click to expand...
A crush is probably the second choice.
 
40.png
KHFW:
misericordie

misericordie: If you support what Sassy11 has to say about my feelings, maybe you should see what Sassy11 posted about “is that a sin to have sexual thoughts of people who she doesn’t know and she’s married?” Sassy shouldn’t even attack others when she is feeling the same way.

Quoting: No=celibacy. Please, if you read my reply carefully, I DO NOT have lustful, sexual thought with the priest, just infatuation. And please, I know what a priest can and cannot do, please do not lecture me on that subject because I have been a catholic all my life. And I do NOT agree a priest should be allowed to marry. Give me a break.

Maybe this is not a forum that offer prayer and support.
Click to expand...
A little to much self love an dpride is comming into effect here now. You bring the topic up, but when someone points out something that is NOT what you want to hear, then you become defensive. Will you at least be willing to talk about that “infatuation” (yes, sorry, usulayy does come from lust unless there is actual LOVE involved here) with an older much experienced priest???
 
40.png
Tazgurl21:
I secretly have a crush on the seminarian at the church I go to. but i don’t think its a secret cruch anymore cuz I think he knows that I do have a crush on him. But someone told me that the seminarian has a crush on me cuz he tries to flirt when the priest or deacons aren’t around. :hmmm:
Click to expand...
And what do you do to STOP the flirts? Do you giggle? Do you smile much at him? This is a total injustice that the seminarian is doing on himself and one in which here you seem to actaully like and go along with. Some immature women see it as fun to seduce a seminarian, and some of the seminarians are stupid enough to put themselves in too much close proximity and familiarity with the opposite sex. The devil plays much here as well as lust may as well in your case=stop and think=logic is useful. By the way, be careful by going by the “someone told mees.” In other words, gossip.
 
40.png
KHFW:
To all, please pray for me…and him:

I have developed a secret crush on a young and handsome priest in my parish. Recently, he was assigned to another parish and my wedding is no longer officiate by him. I am absolutlely crushed. Please pray for me to help me fight this temptation and for his new endeavour.
😦
Click to expand...
Hey, kid.

Good men get these “crushes” throughout their lives, and then they cast them aside as against order. That is why they are good men.

If you pray, the feeling will subside quickly. If your prayers don’t work, pray for a good heart before you pray for the crush to die.

Use your imagination to “give” to your husband-to-be in a special way: For example, buy a set of clippers, scissors and comb, and cut his hair. He’ll love the half hour of fussing over him, which a good haircut takes.
 
40.png
misericordie:
A little to much self love an dpride is comming into effect here now. You bring the topic up, but when someone points out something that is NOT what you want to hear, then you become defensive. Will you at least be willing to talk about that “infatuation” (yes, sorry, usulayy does come from lust unless there is actual LOVE involved here) with an older much experienced priest???
Click to expand...
She asked for prayer. That is all. It’s clear to me (and others, I believe) that she knew this wasn’t an ideal situation. I don’t think she wants to “talk” about infatuation or anything. I think it’s you who wants to talk about it. For some reason.
 
Bruised Reed:
She asked for prayer. That is all. It’s clear to me (and others, I believe) that she knew this wasn’t an ideal situation. I don’t think she wants to “talk” about infatuation or anything. I think it’s you who wants to talk about it. For some reason.
Click to expand...
You’re right. How insensitive it is to offer opinions when none are asked.

Well, let’s pray and then the thread can be closed or go off into oblivion.

God, please help KHFW and the priest in question. I ask this through Christ Your Son.

Amen.
 
40.png
misericordie:
And what do you do to STOP the flirts? Do you giggle? Do you smile much at him? This is a total injustice that the seminarian is doing on himself and one in which here you seem to actaully like and go along with. Some immature women see it as fun to seduce a seminarian, and some of the seminarians are stupid enough to put themselves in too much close proximity and familiarity with the opposite sex. The devil plays much here as well as lust may as well in your case=stop and think=logic is useful. By the way, be careful by going by the “someone told mees.” In other words, gossip.
Click to expand...
Now don’t try to make me look like the bad person here, its not like if I lead him on or anything it just happens. There isn’t nothing wrong with just haveing a crush on someone or is it?:hmmm: He’s only human. plus i’m not going by someone told mees, i know he’s a seminarian he’sllowed to have a crush or two ain’t he/ or is it againt any rules/? I am not immature aitn’ even trying to lead him on. Even if i was it would be stupid of me to do so in your case. wouldn’t it? Just let it be and if god wants him be a priest than he will if not well he won’t become one. but I am not trying to talk him out of it i totally respect him lets leave it as is.
 
40.png
Tazgurl21:
Now don’t try to make me look like the bad person here, its not like if I lead him on or anything it just happens. There isn’t nothing wrong with just haveing a crush on someone or is it?:hmmm: He’s only human. plus i’m not going by someone told mees, i know he’s a seminarian he’sllowed to have a crush or two ain’t he/ or is it againt any rules/? I am not immature aitn’ even trying to lead him on. Even if i was it would be stupid of me to do so in your case. wouldn’t it? Just let it be and if god wants him be a priest than he will if not well he won’t become one. but I am not trying to talk him out of it i totally respect him lets leave it as is.
Click to expand...
I’m sorry that I, apparently among others, misunderstood your initial post.

You asked for prayers to help fight temptation. Well, in my mind when you ask for prayers, you invite at least silent speculation as to What We Are Really Praying For.

It sounded like this was a temptation you wanted to get over, and now you’re saying it’s no big deal.

If it is a temptation, then you should be happy, not remorseful, that it was taken away from you. If it is not a temptation, they why did you say it is, and ask for prayers for that cause?

Nobody is saying you are good or bad, or if they are then I must have skimmed it. We are just trying to find out what you have communicated to us and how we can best help with the situation. Remember Faith and Works? Well, in faith we pray but in works we try to talk to you in an honest way.

Hey, if you are in our family of posters, then don’t we get to hassle you? If anybody tries to say you are a bad person because of what you are tempted to do or say, or what you honestly let on in public, then they need to refer back to yesterday’s Gospel reading. We will stick up for you against condemnation, but want to understand what you are saying and for that we need to communicate clearly. Asking questions, and even stating presumptions, provides you valuable feedback which you can use to correct our misunderstandings as you already have.

Let us know what you would like us to do. If you would like a prayer, then please tell us what it is for, or just say it is for a personal intention you’d rather not disclose. Partial information just makes us curious cats, and you know what curiosity did to a cat.

I pray that Tazgurl and KHFW both find peace in Your love and in your Church. If it be your will, Father, please let them live long and productive lives, as wonderful witnesses of Your love. In Your Son Jesus’ name I ask these things, Amen. :love:

Alan

P.S. Sorry it seems I might have gotten stories mixed up. Oops. I’ve guess I’ve slept since I read the top of the thread. :o Well, I’ll leave the post alone, FWIW.
 
I’m not trying to say is ts not a big deal nevermind its just to persoanl to discuss i’ll deal with it on my own.
 
40.png
Tazgurl21:
I’m not trying to say is ts not a big deal nevermind its just to persoanl to discuss i’ll deal with it on my own.
Click to expand...
OK no big deal.

I’m not surprised that girls get crushes on priests. They are symbols of authority, and plus they are either presumed “safe” or “challenges.” I did notice that once I became engaged, it seemed other women suddenly became interested in me.

Alan
 
40.png
Tazgurl21:
I secretly have a crush on the seminarian at the church I go to. but i don’t think its a secret cruch anymore cuz I think he knows that I do have a crush on him. But someone told me that the seminarian has a crush on me cuz he tries to flirt when the priest or deacons aren’t around. :hmmm:
Click to expand...
Uh oh gurl, still crushing on the seminarian huh? Don’t worry it will eventually go away.
 
40.png
Shorty22:
Uh oh gurl, still crushing on the seminarian huh? Don’t worry it will eventually go away.
Click to expand...
Yeah i know it will but it takes time.
 
This whole thread makes me glad I am the age I am…51 wonderful years.
~ Kathy ~
 
40.png
AlanFromWichita:
You’re right. How insensitive it is to offer opinions when none are asked.

Well, let’s pray and then the thread can be closed or go off into oblivion.

God, please help KHFW and the priest in question. I ask this through Christ Your Son.

Amen.
Click to expand...
Actually when a person starts a thread on a public forum, they ARE asking for everyone’s public opinion. As for “insensitive” we are not talking about feelings but of Objective truth.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top