Yes, I am sure he is the ONLY guy in your area? Seems some objectivity over feelings is needed here. Again, a good spiritual director who is older and experienced will help you sort this out. can it be that you may be looking for an authority figure because you lacked this?
Actually I hate to burst your bubble here but there IS something wrong with having a “crush” on a guy who is going to be a priest and will have choosen a life of celibacy, especially in today’s church climate. By the way, mature women don’t have “crushes.” They either go for guys that are available for dating which will lead to a marriage as the church says, or will not. It is almost the same as if you had a crush on a married man.Now don’t try to make me look like the bad person here, its not like if I lead him on or anything it just happens. There isn’t nothing wrong with just haveing a crush on someone or is it?He’s only human. plus i’m not going by someone told mees, i know he’s a seminarian he’sllowed to have a crush or two ain’t he/ or is it againt any rules/? I am not immature aitn’ even trying to lead him on. Even if i was it would be stupid of me to do so in your case. wouldn’t it? Just let it be and if god wants him be a priest than he will if not well he won’t become one. but I am not trying to talk him out of it i totally respect him lets leave it as is.
Would you go so far as to compare having a little “crush” on a seminarian to “being a little bit pregnant?” How about just a “little” envy of anothers’ spouse (the Church’s spouse).
Its just a crush doesn’t mean anything unless you act on it which i’m not so blah. Like I said it will eventulally go away. Its not like he is already ordained.
oh yeah he sure is hmmm maybe i need to move to another huh? Naw he ain’t the only guy in my area. its just a little crush dang big deal huh?
Really, quit picking on this poster. She is simply enrolling herself to be part of this seminarian’s discerment process. She is only being human, not breaking any written rules. As she stated, “I am not immature”.Now don’t try to make me look like the bad person here, its not like if I lead him on or anything it just happens. There isn’t nothing wrong with just haveing a crush on someone or is it?
I am going to be blunt and well since you are posting in a public forum and hence asking for other’s opinions, I will now give it: First, how old are you? I ask because your wordings such as “crush” and “blah” among other things seems immature. Further, you post as if rightly knowing it’s not kosher to have this crush on an unavailable guy, but then when this is further pointed out to you you justify the “crush” and become defensive. You don’t address any suggestions given such as seeking an older experienced priest for advice on this very issue. In conclusion, this leads to the possability that this all boils down to one thing: lust. If so, at least admit to it, and then you can face the problem.
ALL, I rest my case, this speaks for itself.:tiphat:
:clapping:
In my opinion, failing to recognize the boundaries of having a crush on someone who is unavailable is dangerous. I see it the same way as having a crush on an engaged man- he belongs with someone else, so there is no room for you. Obviously, he has made up his mind that this is what he wants to do with his life and your failure to respect that shows your immaturity and selfishness. You may not be in a place in your life to recognize this, but someday you’ll hopefully grow to understand the need for setting limits and boundaries for your own good and the good of someone else. If God has seriously called on him to go into the service of the priesthood, then who are you to meddle with his vocation? It is not “harmless, no big deal, etc.” because it could have serious moral implications. And by the way, as you stated that “all people have crushes” that is not true that everyone has a crush on someone who is unavailable (committed in other ways). This is where the immaturity remarks come in- through maturing as a person, part of that is coming to see that just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should. Even if he is the one acting inappropriately (flirting with you, etc.) then you should step up and put up a larger hedge between you two. I join in others praying for you and I suggest you pray for yourself and this man. All in all, strive to make the decisions that respect yourself and other people- don’t compromise your dignity or his. God bless you.
Like i sad don’t want ot discuss this anymore and i’m not being immature I do respect that of him. Its not like i’m talking him out of it cuz I’m not. So just leave it alone already. Plus I already talked to my uncle about it so yeah we had the talk no big deal even he said it himself. He even said it wasn’t immature of me its pratically normal. don’t know why y’all make it seem like its a big deal. now end of conversation
So your uncle is infallible in his decision? I am 24, and I have been discerning a vocation myself, and I think it is very immature and hazardous to the both of you as well…
I am sorry to continue this against her wishes, that shows my lack of respect in that manner and I appoligize.
. Now, someone that’s already a priest…that’s a no-no.
Again, I have to say that I would consider him “engaged” in a way. I think that his discernment is something for him to figure out. I don’t think anyone should try to influence his feelings (by flirting or making crushes known); he’s made his intentions known (as for a man who is engaged) so it is up to him to decide if this is the life God has planned for him or not. “If he is so easily swayed” doesn’t mean he still shouldn’t seek the priesthood; I imagine it is a struggle in the beginning. Fellow brothers and sisters in Christ shouldn’t make that struggle more difficult than it has to be. If a man were engaged, another woman who is attracted to him should keep her feelings to herself while she knows he is engaged, maybe put some distance in between. If, therefore, he decides that his fiancee is not the one to marry and makes that known, ending the engagement, then it would be acceptable for the other woman to approach him. It is just my opinion that the other woman shouldn’t influence the situation one way or the other- it should be resolved between the two fiancees as the seminarian should resolve his feelings with God. That’s just how I see it.I don’t know though, guys. I’ve heard that when a man is discerning his vocation that part of that discernment, even though he may already be in the seminary, is whether he wants to continue with his studies and become a priest or maybe that God is calling him in another direction. If this young guy is so easily swayed by a girl, than maybe that’s something telling him that maybe he shouldn’t become a priest. Not a bad thing, just part of deciding what his true vocation is…'course, I could be wrong. It’s been known to happen
If you really don’t want to discuss this further, then just don’t respond and let the rest of us discuss it. Either way, it’s an interesting topic.
Is the converse true if the man is discerning a married vocation and is already courting a young lady, though not yet engaged?I don’t know though, guys. I’ve heard that when a man is discerning his vocation that part of that discernment, even though he may already be in the seminary, is whether he wants to continue with his studies and become a priest or maybe that God is calling him in another direction. If this young guy is so easily swayed by a girl, than maybe that’s something telling him that maybe he shouldn’t become a priest. Not a bad thing, just part of deciding what his true vocation is…'course, I could be wrong. It’s been known to happen