Seeking Advice on Unfortunate Situation

[Lara]

I would forget about dating her, but definitely inform the priest that a homily about being pro-life in all cases might be very opportune.

I once phoned a priest before a family gathering at a Mass that one member might accidentally take Communion, suggesting that the priest make the Church’s view clear on this. That is exactly what he did, and my family member didn’t make the error of Protestants that she made the time before. So it was good I called.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I guess I tend to expect a high degree of intellectual honesty. I would expect somebody who is a practising Catholic, let alone somebody who has a role of leadership in her parish, to assent to all the teachings of the Catholic Church.

Having lived through the post-Vatican II era, many if not most of the people involved with Church ministries had differences with the Church over something, whether that “something” was divorce, contraception, women priests, or later on, abortion. For cradle Catholics, the faith is often not an intellectual matter; we consider ourselves Catholic regardless of what issue we might be struggling with or at odds wiith the Church about. That is how we end up with 78-year-olds like Joe Biden.

 

[Anicette]

From what you say, it does indeed sound like this woman is unlikely to be working in a capacity where her opinion on abortion is relevant.

I agree.

I guess I tend to expect a high degree of intellectual honesty. I would expect somebody who is a practising Catholic, let alone somebody who has a role of leadership in her parish, to assent to all the teachings of the Catholic Church.

I agree! We can dissent privately, hopefully on small things.

Unfortunately it is not my experience, even for people in leadership. I don’t think that the people in Church who hire someone, volunteer or with a pay job will ask many questions.
I think the main reason is that there is still few youngs people who stay and few people who is willing to help. So they take without any asking. Another reason may be fear of asking indiscreet questions. Authoritarism in the Catholic Church at the local level is something that is gone a long time ago, at least where I lived. It exists more in the traditionalist communities where the priests tend to lecture more the parishioners and give their opinion without shame.

All that in my experience. Places where the Church is stronger or very different may be very different.

For eg, as a person been employed in a Catholic school, working with students, all I was ask in my interview was if I had gone to Catholic school myself, and adding it will not made a difference anyway. In my work contract it is just specified that I engage myself to respect the character of the school (that’s mean that it is a Catholic school). But I was not even ask to read it before I was ask to sign it.

Later, when I engage as a volunteer in the school ministry nothing was asked. Same with others collegues who propose themselves. Some said they are not believers- it was not perceived as a problem nor by the priest nor the direction. One lived “in sin”. It was “ministry”, not religious lessons, for teenagers. But every student who want can freely come, the muslin as the unbeliever.

When I was a teenager, a youth animator try to convince us, 16 years old girls that to have sex before marriage is something good and we should accept it. If we refuse, we wil have to accept that we will go from break up from break up because men will not accept it, and may end in a bad marriage with a crisis in the 40’s. She also said that many married catholic men probably go to see prostitutes because of the teachings that burden the conjugal life.

We had also a debate on abortion where the final conclusion made by an animator is that we should think a lot before making a choice in any direction. And to go to PP to help us. Of course, th priest didn’t agree, but couldn’t impose his views;

Not to mention that when I was 17 I left the church during the homily because the priest was making a critic (more or less openly) on the Church teaching on the topic of sexuality, and said the Church should be closer to live of people. I did church shopping for a decade after that.

I can continue the list, for eg with cohabiting people …

 

[EmilyAlexandra]

Yes, I can see that if somebody has been born into a religion it is easier to stick with it despite having doubts or disagreements. As a complete outsider, I would feel fraudulent becoming a Catholic while still having big questions about things like, say, indulgences. On the other hand, I guess if somebody was a cradle Catholic they might not think that indulgences were really such a big deal. Not to suggest that indulgences are trivial, but if somebody was otherwise a committed cradle Catholic, I guess they wouldn’t necessarily feel cast out from the Church just because they didn’t quite understand how indulgences are supposed to work.

I’ve known people over the years who seemingly are practising Catholics despite disagreeing with the Church on fairly typical things like premarital sex, contraception, abortion, and homosexuality. Perhaps more interestingly, we have a Catholic family friend who is in her 80s and converted to Catholicism as a child, and she is very involved in her parish. However, she tells me that she has no qualms about receiving Communion at an Anglican church if she is travelling in England/Wales and an Anglican church is often the only option in rural areas. She just says, “I’m all for burying the hatchet”. I’m sure she knows that this isn’t strictly within the rules, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. I guess she’s been a Catholic for so long that she doesn’t mind bending the rules a bit. If I were going into the Catholic Church as a brand new Catholic, I would feel obliged to accept 100% the Church’s position on receiving Communion in Protestant churches. Same with Muslims I know who drink alcohol, don’t wear the hijab, etc or Jews who eat bacon. If I converted to Islam now, I would think it was pretty weird to carrying drinking alcohol and I’d feel obliged to wear a hijab, whereas if I’d been born Muslim, I’d probably still consider myself a Muslim even if I disregarded some of these teachings.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Perhaps more interestingly, we have a Catholic family friend who is in her 80s and converted to Catholicism as a child, and she is very involved in her parish. However, she tells me that she has no qualms about receiving Communion at an Anglican church if she is travelling in England/Wales and an Anglican church is often the only option in rural areas. She just says, “I’m all for burying the hatchet”.

We had one of those on CAF a couple years ago. Her story was that her Catholic priest encouraged it. I think she was in Northern Ireland. I wouldn’t be surprised if some priests do encourage it although they should not.