S
sleeping_gecko
Guest
Hello, everybody, this is my first post.
Up until last fall, I was very confidently Protestant, to the point of occasionally scoffing at Catholicism and its aspects which I saw as foolish. I was yet another Protestant who assumed the communion of saints was pretty much just praying to false idols.
My father is a Protestant minister who, for most of my life was ordained in the Foursquare church (a Pentecostal denomination). He is into the emerging church movement, and, as such, has a tendency towards high church, and his enthusiasm for religious symbols has worn off, you could say.
Raised Protestant, I believed that Catholics could be saved, but I thought Tradition was more of a hindrance (IOW, Catholics could get to heaven in spite of the communion of saints, Marian doctrines, etc).
A Catholic friend from another messageboard was giving away some books and gave me a copy of Why Do Catholics Do That?. I read it, and was blown away. While reading it (and Karl Keating’s Catholicism vs. Fundamentalism), I started realizing how great my misunderstanding of Catholicism has been. I told my father and father-in-law (also a pastor, more specifically, the pastor of my church) that, if God were to convince me that Catholicism is the most authentic form of Christianity, I would be positively obligated to convert. Neither of them was too enthusiastic about my statement.
Now, a few months later, after reading a few more books on Catholicism and listening to around 2/3 of the Luke E. Hart audio series (haven’t had time to finish), EWTN Radio, prayer, and, of course, studying the Scriptures (even the Protestant versions, which are all I have right now), I’m becoming more and more certain that God is leading me to Catholicism.
Last night, as I prepared to go to sleep, I prayed that God would give me clarity (as I have been doing for some time now about this subject). If He did not desire for me to join the Catholic church, I asked him to quell my interest in Catholicism, at least for a while. If He did desire me to convert, I asked Him to make my interest in Catholicism grow intensely, and above all, that it would be clear.
I listened to Mass on EWTN this morning, and it resonated so beautifully with me. I spent some time in prayer as I got ready for work, and, I decided to read some in Why… (as I’m re-reading it anyway). For the first time, Purgatory was no longer an obstacle to faith in my mind. Before, I had thought, “Well, I guess I can see how it could be…” But today, it made sense. I can’t really explain it, it just made sense.
By the end of my prayer time, I was crying tears of both joy and sorrow. Joy because I believe God has given me clarity on the subject. Sorrow because I’m sure it will cause a lot of tension in my marriage, family, and friend relationships.
Also, I am officially the youth pastor in my church, and I know that this change would be a huge shift in that area, as well.
My wife has said that, if I converted, she would “go with” me, but I told her I won’t force her to do anything, or force her to change her beliefs. Anyway, she is supportive, though not completely in agreement. I haven’t discussed this with her, as we haven’t had time to talk about it today.
I don’t know which question I should ask first (or where this thread should be, for that matter), or at all.
What do I do now?
What about that calling I have believed God had for me? Was I completely wrong about it, did I make a grave error in getting married, or is it just different from what I thought about it?
Was I being presumptive? I was trying to lay a fleece before God, as Gideon did, but did I test God inappropriately?
Up until last fall, I was very confidently Protestant, to the point of occasionally scoffing at Catholicism and its aspects which I saw as foolish. I was yet another Protestant who assumed the communion of saints was pretty much just praying to false idols.
My father is a Protestant minister who, for most of my life was ordained in the Foursquare church (a Pentecostal denomination). He is into the emerging church movement, and, as such, has a tendency towards high church, and his enthusiasm for religious symbols has worn off, you could say.
Raised Protestant, I believed that Catholics could be saved, but I thought Tradition was more of a hindrance (IOW, Catholics could get to heaven in spite of the communion of saints, Marian doctrines, etc).
A Catholic friend from another messageboard was giving away some books and gave me a copy of Why Do Catholics Do That?. I read it, and was blown away. While reading it (and Karl Keating’s Catholicism vs. Fundamentalism), I started realizing how great my misunderstanding of Catholicism has been. I told my father and father-in-law (also a pastor, more specifically, the pastor of my church) that, if God were to convince me that Catholicism is the most authentic form of Christianity, I would be positively obligated to convert. Neither of them was too enthusiastic about my statement.
Now, a few months later, after reading a few more books on Catholicism and listening to around 2/3 of the Luke E. Hart audio series (haven’t had time to finish), EWTN Radio, prayer, and, of course, studying the Scriptures (even the Protestant versions, which are all I have right now), I’m becoming more and more certain that God is leading me to Catholicism.
Last night, as I prepared to go to sleep, I prayed that God would give me clarity (as I have been doing for some time now about this subject). If He did not desire for me to join the Catholic church, I asked him to quell my interest in Catholicism, at least for a while. If He did desire me to convert, I asked Him to make my interest in Catholicism grow intensely, and above all, that it would be clear.
I listened to Mass on EWTN this morning, and it resonated so beautifully with me. I spent some time in prayer as I got ready for work, and, I decided to read some in Why… (as I’m re-reading it anyway). For the first time, Purgatory was no longer an obstacle to faith in my mind. Before, I had thought, “Well, I guess I can see how it could be…” But today, it made sense. I can’t really explain it, it just made sense.
By the end of my prayer time, I was crying tears of both joy and sorrow. Joy because I believe God has given me clarity on the subject. Sorrow because I’m sure it will cause a lot of tension in my marriage, family, and friend relationships.
Also, I am officially the youth pastor in my church, and I know that this change would be a huge shift in that area, as well.
My wife has said that, if I converted, she would “go with” me, but I told her I won’t force her to do anything, or force her to change her beliefs. Anyway, she is supportive, though not completely in agreement. I haven’t discussed this with her, as we haven’t had time to talk about it today.
I don’t know which question I should ask first (or where this thread should be, for that matter), or at all.
What do I do now?
What about that calling I have believed God had for me? Was I completely wrong about it, did I make a grave error in getting married, or is it just different from what I thought about it?
Was I being presumptive? I was trying to lay a fleece before God, as Gideon did, but did I test God inappropriately?
You posted on CAF.