Self-harm

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TheHopeless said:
Hi,
It is great with all the responses to this thread, especially all the new one from here in August. I still don’t feel that I have got any final answer to my question - and now I see that other peopler are very interested as well (so it is not just me wondering… kind of a relieve…). So I still hope someone out there can give me (and all others in need of it) an answer 🙂
TheHopeless
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The short answer is no, it is not a mortal sin. Self harm is a coping skill (not a good one) for dealing with past trauma. Someone who is unable to emotionally deal with trauma is not held liable for their actions. My wife and I heard this from 3 different priests.
 
iamrefreshed said:
The short answer is no, it is not a mortal sin. Self harm is a coping skill (not a good one) for dealing with past trauma. Someone who is unable to emotionally deal with trauma is not held liable for their actions. My wife and I heard this from 3 different priests.
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Thankyou for answering. I think it might still be helpful to bring it up in a confession though. Wouln’t it be great to have someone to talk to about all that guilt even if it is false guilt. I am hoping to go to confession at some point and I hopw I am able to talk freely about the things that have plagued me for so long. I’m sure it is part of what a priest does in teh confessional, to support, listen to and help his parishioners to cope with guilt and sin. Almost like a therapist but maybe even better! 🙂
 
Thank you Iamrefreshed, that helped me 🙂
And Linno, you are probably right that it would be helpfull to bring it up under confession - it is just very very difficult 😦 !!!
TheHopeless
 
i am confused, i called into a Catholic talk show and asked if it is a sin. They priest said yes, that our bodies are temples. To me this is a human sin, meaning that he thinks it is wrong. Not that God thinks its wrong. Saying this, after i do “self harm” i feel guilty. Now, i do not know if God is telling me something or i am guilty for not being normal.

i was going to Confession today, should i not? i am confused…

Chyna
 
Chyna said:
i am confused, i called into a Catholic talk show and asked if it is a sin. They priest said yes, that our bodies are temples. To me this is a human sin, meaning that he thinks it is wrong. Not that God thinks its wrong. Saying this, after i do “self harm” i feel guilty. Now, i do not know if God is telling me something or i am guilty for not being normal.

i was going to Confession today, should i not? i am confused…

Chyna
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If you are able to bring it up in confession it would probably be very helpful. If it is a sin you can get absolution and if it isn’t a sin then it may be a helpful experience having someone to talk to about it. Any priest will be more than willing to help you or to find you help to become more able to use other coping strategies. I haven’t been back to confession for years because I’ve not felt able or not felt worthy to:(
 
Linnyo Quote:
If you are able to bring it up in confession it would probably be very helpful. If it is a sin you can get absolution and if it isn’t a sin then it may be a helpful experience having someone to talk to about it. Any priest will be more than willing to help you or to find you help to become more able to use other coping strategies. I haven’t been back to confession for years because I’ve not felt able or not felt worthy to
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Linnyo,

i went to confession right after i posted this, i was shaking so hard, it was very difficult. i practiced what i would say. When he first spoke his voice was steady, the more he spoke after my silence his voice became shaky. i was flooded with pain and guilt for causing his discomfort. i was so ready to run, that i almost ran before he could absolve me.

After, i tried to go sit with the Blessed Sacrament, the door was locked.

Right this minute i can not say if it helped or not.

Chyna
 
Hey,
I’m sorry you didn’t have a positive experience.😦 I expect priests are like us in that they can feel pain in what you say. That doesn’t mean thet you have done wrong to the priest. He may have been shaky because he was sad for your suffering. Maybe, that showed that he cares. Maybe he was hesitant and shaky because he wasn’t aware of whether it was a sin or not. There could have been any number of reasons he sounded shaky. But please know that priests are there for us. They are partly responsible for our pastoral care. He will not have minded you talking to him. He might wish he had done something differently. Please don’t be afraid to go back and don’t be ashamed because you have taken steps towards getting help.

Sometimes when people talk to me about issues that I find difficult I feel shaky in my responses but sometimes, it helps others just to be listened to. I think that’d meke it worthwhile.
Chyna said:
Linnyo,

i went to confession right after i posted this, i was shaking so hard, it was very difficult. i practiced what i would say. When he first spoke his voice was steady, the more he spoke after my silence his voice became shaky. i was flooded with pain and guilt for causing his discomfort. i was so ready to run, that i almost ran before he could absolve me.

After, i tried to go sit with the Blessed Sacrament, the door was locked.

Right this minute i can not say if it helped or not.

Chyna
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No, i understand that. This is my shame not anything on him. i just feel ashamed because his voice became shaky. i do not EVER was to cause discomfort to anyone. He is a very very good man. i like him very much. Because of this man i came Home again. i just, i don’t know, i just don’t want to fail, i know that i will. i now would not just be failing him but failing God. It was not clarified by him if it is a sin. i would love to speak with him, but 1) he is busy 2) i am not sure i have the courage. Anyway i did go…
 
You’ve gotten some wonderful advice for coping with stress that results in harmful behavior to yourself.

However, no one has really addressed the issue of mortal sin. Mortal sin is actually somewhat diffucult to commit. For a sin to be mortal it must meet THREE requirements:

The sin must be of a grave matter, one must have full knowledge of the sinful nature of the act (or ommission) and give deliberate consent to the sin.
 
therefore when you have a mental illness, and your idea of reality and self worth are distorted it is probably not a sin. If I were to cut just now then it would be deliberat, thought out and controlled - that would be a sin? But if I was in the midst of a panic attack and couldn’t regain control, my sense of balance would become distorted and although I know it to be wrong, the ability and will to stop myself may be gone then whilst it is still wrong, it probably isn’t a sin.
 
The sin must be of a grave matter, one must have full knowledge of the sinful nature of the act (or ommission) and give deliberate consent to the sin.
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I guess the two first part is clear in the case of self harm - it is grave matter and one have full knowledge. The problem is if it is deliberate… I don’t know… and it seems to be difficult to know for sure… 😦
 
TheHopeless said:
I guess the two first part is clear in the case of self harm - it is grave matter and one have full knowledge. The problem is if it is deliberate… I don’t know… and it seems to be difficult to know for sure… 😦
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It is not deliberate as the person doing it is hurt and vunerable. Ask yourself, would you do it if you were not compelled to? God does not hold these actions against us. He loves us. He cries when these things happen.
 
TheHopeless Quote:
I guess the two first part is clear in the case of self harm - it is grave matter and one have full knowledge. The problem is if it is deliberate… I don’t know… and it seems to be difficult to know for sure…
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Wouldn’t guilt play apart of it. Meaning after, guilt comes. Now knowing that i confessed and repeat this action. i have lied, have i not? i am a cheater am i not?
iamrefreshed Quote:
God does not hold these actions against us. He loves us. He cries when these things happen.
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i hurt God, do i not?

i don’t know…i want to stop, i want to be like an outsider. i want what they have. i want…yet i can not. i disappoint Him. And that part kills me.
 
originally posted by** Linnyo**
But if I was in the midst of a panic attack and couldn’t regain control, my sense of balance would become distorted and although I know it to be wrong, the ability and will to stop myself may be gone then whilst it is still wrong, it probably isn’t a sin.
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I never made the connection with cuttings to panic attacks.I outgrew cutting myself. Then I had panic attacks when I was in my early twenties but they went away. Do you believe people who cut often have panic attacks???

My brother started having panic attacks in his fifties. He had never had them when he was young. Panic attacks are a strange thing.
 
gam197 Quote:
I never made the connection with cuttings to panic attacks.I outgrew cutting myself. Then I had panic attacks when I was in my early twenties but they went away. Do you believe people who cut often have panic attacks???
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My brother started having panic attacks in his fifties. He had never had them when he was young. Panic attacks are a strange thing.
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i have horrible panic attacks and yes sometimes, in my case followed by self harm. i am in a “group” via Internet, many say the same thing.
 
I was like that. I cut as a teen then I stopped. I started again when I developed depression and an anxiety disorder and cutting often calmed the panic attacks in the same way as sedatives but cutting worked immediately. I don’t really self harm now but have very strong compulsions to cut when I have a panic attack.
gam197 said:
I never made the connection with cuttings to panic attacks.I outgrew cutting myself. Then I had panic attacks when I was in my early twenties but they went away. Do you believe people who cut often have panic attacks???

My brother started having panic attacks in his fifties. He had never had them when he was young. Panic attacks are a strange thing.
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i was given the answer to our question. i just do not know whether to enter it here. i am so very hurt by it and i do not want y’all to hurt as well. i know why it is done in my case. i don’t know how to handle this. i remain on the fence. The answer is what we already knew. It is why we had to ask.

Chyna :crying:
 
I never made the connection. I cut myself as a sixteen or seventeen year old but stopped at around age eighteen. I had panic attacks and PMS in my early twenties but they both went away. Since I didn’t associate the panic attacks to the cuttings, I never looked to cutting as a solution to the panic attacks but worked myself through them.

I once was in a store and couldn’t physically move. I had to talk to myself to simply move-one step at a time. I made it to the car. Panic attacks are scary.

I also had some postpartum blues after my pregnancies but I was able to get through them.

Someone on here said self-hatred was one reason people cut but I don’t remember feeling that. Maybe it was subconscious?
 
I had a huge panic attack today and I haven’t had one for ages. I didn’t cut myself but I battered my legs. I lost control and it was awful.😦
 
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