Selfish divorce confessed but refuses to reconcile marriage

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Do you know the post? I would like to read it. Might answer my question.
 
Who said either of the spouses even brought up abuse? Question included the comment that (If danger, if it ever existed, is no longer present of course). Uses exact language of the teaching referenced.
 
The problem is, we just cannot know what is going on in the other spouses head. There’s obviously some mental obstacle that is making reconciliation impossible for this person and it could be lessening culpability. If God does decide that he or she is culpable, it will be satisfied in purgatory if it isn’t here.
 
In your situation, the person would not be absolved.

One of the requirements for a proper confession is a firm purpose of amendment. (A resolve to make every effort to stop sinning in future.)

If this isn’t present, the sacrament is useless and in fact the person may be committing another serious sin by abusing the sacrament.

This is one of the reasons people found Amoris Laetitia so confusing. You can’t get confession with every intention to go on sinning.
 
mrsdizzyd
Divorce is grave matter but say if a spouse is abused and needing to escape for legitimate reasons, divorce is not a mortal sin.
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Precisely.

And, even if the spouse says they are “reformed” I don’t think there are many priests who will try to force the abused spouse back into the marriage by denying them absolution. At least not in the US.

The question included "If danger, if it ever existed, is no longer present of course), which addresses your concerns. If abuse was still a danger their would be no reason to confess anything as the Church clearly teaches it expects reconciliation specifically when no danger remains.
 
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Church Guidelines for Marital Separation Family Life
I decided to post this, because I was told: “In real life, this is a very little known Canon and I’d imagine that most pastors would not be aware of it let alone lay persons.” http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/_P45.HTM Seems like a very significant canon law to be unknown, especially by Pastors! Do you think this should be a mandatory application for separation?
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Is civil divorce wrong? Family Life
We hear the question all the time these days! And “sometimes” the Church condones civil divorce as justified. But how do we know whether a divorce is justified or not? I have a proposition for those who are in a troubled Marriage and are either themselves considering divorce, or their spouse is threatening divorce. Ask your pastor to put in writing (his opinion) whether or not you or your spouse is justified or not to file, and do not file without being in a state of Grace.
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Please detail what you mean. I am not trying to argue but if one can’t refer to specific statements giving conditions for certain behaviors in the CCC or CL then what good is it? Every Catholic would interpret any teaching they disagreed with to suit them. If one can’t look at Church teaching and determine what is needed to gain absolution then none of us can ever know if we are truly absolved. Using another example. Stealing money. If you steal money, go to confession and expect absolution the Church says you do not have to give the money back to the person you stole it from if their is risk, say to losing your job. You must however not keep the money and reap the benefit of the sin. You can give it to charity instead of your employer but you can’t spend it. Seems similar to confessing divorce (assume it is mortal sin, abandoned innocent spouse) being absolved but refusing to reconcile is enjoying the fruits of sin, like keeping stolen money. That is what is the heart of the question.
 
OP, I think you are onto something here. Is there a moral / sacramental requirement to reconcile, or not divorce in the first place, except for reasons of abuse, / physical harm?
Because don’t Catholics divorce at the same rate as other Americans?
 
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Knowing this section of the CCC also is key. No Catholic married in the Church can’t say they didn’t know the teaching that marriage is forever… it is in the vows and the nuptial blessing…they would know enough to be responsible for finding out more…

CCC [1791] This ignorance can often be imputed to personal responsibility. This is the case when a man “takes little trouble to find out what is true and good, or when conscience is by degrees almost blinded through the habit of committing sin.” In such cases, the person is culpable for the evil he commits.
 
If abuse was ever involved, there is only one person who can decide the danger no longer exists. That is the person who was abused. Long after the abuser stops abusing, the danger of the abuse lurks in the life of the person who was abused. Not good. And certainly not OK for someone else to decide that danger is over.
 
Thanks, never saw it. Didn’t think to look in family life. Question was one of absolution, not enforcing canon law. USCCB seems to violate canon law with requirement to divorce before you can seek an annulment. No Bishop’s speak to needing their approval to divorce either. I was only concerned about absolution since that impacts where, if Church teaching is correct, one might spend eternity.
 
I would say the following.

If:
a person files for divorce and gets a divorce for purely selfish reason, not just cause for doing so, ie he/she effectively abandoned their spouse.
then
to be forgiven he/she must attempt a reconciliation

It is certainly a sin for the person who abandoned the other. It is no sin for the other spouse. I would assume if he confessed the sin accurately, the priest would likely say the same.
 
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“Marriage is forever” means you can’t have another romantic/ sexual/ marital relationship outside the marriage, without an annulment. I think most Catholics understand that, or else have it explained to them during their pre-Cana. Whether they choose to abide by it is another thing, but they generally know.

However, not having another relationship does not necessarily mean you need to reconcile and keep living with your spouse as man and wife if it’s not possible or practical to do so. If there is a question about this, the best way to resolve it is to ask a priest for guidance for the individual situation. And if the other half of the couple is not interested in getting back together, then it’s not going to happen because they can’t be forced to do it.
 
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JMMJ said:
there is only one person who can decide the danger no longer exists. That is the person who was abused.
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So if an individual is the only one who can determine if abuse is present (or any condition mentioned in the CCC for any sin) then the church could never determine when reconciliation should take place. Using the same logic on any sin, then as long as I think it is OK then no one can tell me otherwise, say murder vs self defense. Obviously that is not true. It precludes justice for the other party if no one can offer an opinion, especially the Church.
 
This also sounds very familiar.

To accuse the US Bishops of such is inappropriate at best.
 
justanokdude said:
Can. 1151 Spouses have the obligation and the right to maintain their common conjugal life, unless a lawful reason excuses them.

Can. 1153 §1 A spouse who occasions grave danger of soul or body to the other or to the children, or otherwise makes the common life unduly difficult, provides the other spouse with a reason to leave, either by a decree of the local Ordinary or, if there is danger in delay, even on his or her own authority.

§2 In all cases, when the reason for separation ceases, the common conjugal life is to be restored, unless otherwise provided by ecclesiastical authority.
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So the above are meaningless? Are we not follow Canon law as part of the discipline of being a Catholic? Certainly they are not just suggestions but laws put in place to guide us to holiness.
 
What’s this “we” stuff? I don’t have a marital problem or a separated spouse or a divorce.

If a person has a personal problem of this nature, they need to talk to a priest, try to follow his advice, and remember that their being able to reconcile or not also depends on the feelings and actions of the other spouse and on outside factors, which the priest can help the person sort out.

I’m not sure what you hope to accomplish by posting all this canon law and saying “we” should do this and “we” should do that. If you’re trying to get me to say that all these people who get divorced and don’t reconcile with their spouses are committing horrible sins, that’s not my call to make, it’s up to their confessor.
 
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Question I am seeking answer to concerns only absolution.

How can fact, divorce is required for anyone to approach the tribunal seeking a decree of nullity, be inappropriate? I did not criticize them for it. I merely stated fact. With no comment. Is it not true?
 
I would suggest you speak to your Diocese office of the Chancery for some illuminating education on the process.
 
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