L
Lazerlike42
Guest
Thanks guys, for your prayers and advice.
I was worried that the way I worded my post it may end up sounding like I was trying to escape. That’s not at all the case. Of course, I would welcome and enjoy whatever “escape” from the world seminary life would bring, but that’s not the reason I want to do it, just something that would probably end up going along with it to one degree or another.
I think one way to describe it would be that my reasons for wanting to enter the seminary have nothing to do with escaping from anything, but my fears of not being accepted do. If I have to wait and enter next year or if I end up discerning a call to some other diocese or a religious order, that’s not what I’d prefer, but it’s ok. I’d prefer to be starting on the track now, so I can begin to serve God in a more radical land dedicated way now and be on the track towards serving him as a priest, but having to wait would be ok - it would be a matter of patience and waiting for His time.
When I talk about all of my dislike of the prospects of waiting, that is because the particulars of the situation I’d be would be detrimental to my spiritual life. I have felt a very long while now the call to serve God in a greater way, and for all that time I have also felt, as I said, suffocated - as though I am not getting enough of God. I am living something like a “spiritually eremitical” life - my soul is cut off from everything spiritual other than God Himself. If I were called to be a hermit, and had gone through all that one does in preparation for that, that would be one thing - but I’m not and I haven’t. Like anyone else not living as a hermit, I need spiritual support, and to be around spiritual things, and to have spiritual friends, and so on, if I am to grow.
I don’t want to enter the seminary to escape from that, but I also really don’t look forward to the prospects of spending another year or more living that way. The number one thing I fear is having to take either an utterly worldly job, or spend time in an utterly worldly school, all of which I’d be doing without any support system. It’s hard enough to stay on the straight and narrow path without all of that influence, and so if I get thrown into that, it’s just a very bad situation. I did everything I could to get away from that sort of situation, in order to grow spiritually. I don’t want to be a dog forced to go back to it’s vomit.
I don’t think removing oneself from the world as far as he can is escaping… I suppose it could be, depending on one’s motivations. My motivation in it has been it to serve God better, to grow in His Love, and to avoid the occasion of sin. The problem I’m facing if I’m not accepted is that the place that would leave me as regards the requirements of life - i.e., paying the bills and all - would be to act against that motivation and even to enter greater occasions of sin.
Peace and God bless
I was worried that the way I worded my post it may end up sounding like I was trying to escape. That’s not at all the case. Of course, I would welcome and enjoy whatever “escape” from the world seminary life would bring, but that’s not the reason I want to do it, just something that would probably end up going along with it to one degree or another.
I think one way to describe it would be that my reasons for wanting to enter the seminary have nothing to do with escaping from anything, but my fears of not being accepted do. If I have to wait and enter next year or if I end up discerning a call to some other diocese or a religious order, that’s not what I’d prefer, but it’s ok. I’d prefer to be starting on the track now, so I can begin to serve God in a more radical land dedicated way now and be on the track towards serving him as a priest, but having to wait would be ok - it would be a matter of patience and waiting for His time.
When I talk about all of my dislike of the prospects of waiting, that is because the particulars of the situation I’d be would be detrimental to my spiritual life. I have felt a very long while now the call to serve God in a greater way, and for all that time I have also felt, as I said, suffocated - as though I am not getting enough of God. I am living something like a “spiritually eremitical” life - my soul is cut off from everything spiritual other than God Himself. If I were called to be a hermit, and had gone through all that one does in preparation for that, that would be one thing - but I’m not and I haven’t. Like anyone else not living as a hermit, I need spiritual support, and to be around spiritual things, and to have spiritual friends, and so on, if I am to grow.
I don’t want to enter the seminary to escape from that, but I also really don’t look forward to the prospects of spending another year or more living that way. The number one thing I fear is having to take either an utterly worldly job, or spend time in an utterly worldly school, all of which I’d be doing without any support system. It’s hard enough to stay on the straight and narrow path without all of that influence, and so if I get thrown into that, it’s just a very bad situation. I did everything I could to get away from that sort of situation, in order to grow spiritually. I don’t want to be a dog forced to go back to it’s vomit.
I don’t think removing oneself from the world as far as he can is escaping… I suppose it could be, depending on one’s motivations. My motivation in it has been it to serve God better, to grow in His Love, and to avoid the occasion of sin. The problem I’m facing if I’m not accepted is that the place that would leave me as regards the requirements of life - i.e., paying the bills and all - would be to act against that motivation and even to enter greater occasions of sin.
Peace and God bless
Hail Mary…