Sent away from confession

[CradleJourney]

You must know the Confession times so why don’t you get there early enough to be near the front of the line?

Of course if everyone thought this way, you could arrive an hour before confessions started - and still not be near the front of the line.

And there are people for whom making an appointment is not a viable option - due to emotional, logistical, or privacy reasons (obviously if you make an appt then the advantage of confessing behind a screen is moot).

For some, building up the courage to go to confession is a big deal - and being sent away could be devastating.

As someone already posted, the answer, of course, is to pray for more priests and that confession times can be extended.

Hopefully long lines will lead to confession times being moved so that they are not tied directly to mass start times. For most parishes here it’s just 30 min before mass - which doesn’t allow room for much error - be it a long-winded confessee or a traffic jam.

 

[thistle]

Of course if everyone thought this way, you could arrive an hour before confessions started - and still not be near the front of the line.

And there are people for whom making an appointment is not a viable option - due to emotional, logistical, or privacy reasons (obviously if you make an appt then the advantage of confessing behind a screen is moot).

For some, building up the courage to go to confession is a big deal - and being sent away could be devastating.

As someone already posted, the answer, of course, is to pray for more priests and that confession times can be extended.

Hopefully long lines will lead to confession times being moved so that they are not tied directly to mass start times. For most parishes here it’s just 30 min before mass - which doesn’t allow room for much error - be it a long-winded confessee or a traffic jam.

That does not fix the OP’s immediate problem.

 

[marytk]

I have experienced this as well. It is a hard thing to plan for because it can really vary how many people want to go. We have confessions before Mass (those have a tme limit because of Mss) Then on Saturday AM after the morning Mass the priest stays there until he is done. Once we had a visiting priest fill in at the last moment and he said at the end of Mass that he could stay only unitl ___. and asked people to judge whether they had to go then. There are times that there are rows filled waiting and others when it is just a few peopple. BUT the priest saying Mass is a good reason to cut off the line. Really when it happened to me I had looked at my watch and knew I wasn’t going to make it

 

[PaulinVA]

People who are suggesting getting to confession earlier, remember, what you are saying is get a better place in line so someone else is turned away.

Yes, the Church is run in a pretty sloppy manner. It’s been sorta limping along for 2000 years. I’m not being sarcastic when I say that. The Church wants you to think everything is black and white, but, really, everything is grey. There is an “except when” to everything.

You just have to roll with the punches. Don’t expect the standards of the business world to be found in your parish. It isn’t going to happen, even if the parish has a multi-million dollar budget.

 

[I_am_learning]

Yeah, this is not an unusual thing. Thats why there are appointments you can make, and specific times only for confessions. Before mass is just another opportunity given to us. If you could not make it, or did not get a turn, simply go at a specific time.

 

[Casilda]

the pastor was hearing Confessions one afternoon and had ended about 5 minutes before the posted end time (Mass was in an hour) A lady came in at three minutes before the posted end time and asked if the priest was still able to hear her Confession. I went looking for Father and explained to him that a lady was wanting to have her confession heard. He said “Sorry she is too late and she will have to come back next week.” This made me very sad. Now I do not know why she came in, but I hurt for her as she looked distraught and really wanted to have her Confession heard. I really had wished Father went to her, she was a soul in distress.

I am going to use a harsh word here: scandalize-to shock, appall, outrage, horrify, disgust, revolt, repel, sicken; offend, give offense to, affront, insult; cause raised eyebrows

I wasn’t going to bring this up in this thread, but it might help others not to get lulled into thinking that what is going on today regarding the availability of priests for confessions is just to be accepted.

I was that distraught lady. I did try calling for an appointment. But my home parish was in a transition. The receptionist didn’t tell me that when I first contacted them, she just kept putting me off. The priest was unavailable because he was being transferred. Then the parish was left without a priest for 18 months. Then finally the interim priest was made permanent. Or whatever you call the process. Once I found that out I showed up 15 minutes early for confession on a weekday. The church was locked. I wait in my car. Then I see the priest leave the church office and walk across the courtyard into the church side door. I walk up to the door, it is now open. I go in to pray in the pew closest to the confessional. A lady comes in to light the candles. I ask the priest if he will hear confessions. He says yes. I tell him its been many years since my last confession and proceed. He is not helpful, he seems rushed. Tells me this is not a confession and asked me to call and make an appointment. I leave the confessional kind of in shock. I sit back in the pew to talk to God. The priest goes off, seems to be busy going back and forth. I sit there for almost an hour. NO ONE ELSE SHOWS UP FOR CONFESSION. A few people start coming in for mass. The children rehearse a song, the priest is greeting people. I am still sitting, in shock in the pew. Then I get up and walk away. I have not been back to that parish.

I really wished Father had talked to me, I was a soul in distress. He had the time. I talked to God instead.

 

[I_am_learning]

I am going to use a harsh word here: scandalize-to shock, appall, outrage, horrify, disgust, revolt, repel, sicken; offend, give offense to, affront, insult; cause raised eyebrows

I wasn’t going to bring this up in this thread, but it might help others not to get lulled into thinking that what is going on today regarding the availability of priests for confessions is just to be accepted.

I was that distraught lady. I did try calling for an appointment. But my home parish was in a transition. The receptionist didn’t tell me that when I first contacted them, she just kept putting me off. The priest was unavailable because he was being transferred. Then the parish was left without a priest for 18 months. Then finally the interim priest was made permanent. Or whatever you call the process. Once I found that out I showed up 15 minutes early for confession on a weekday. The church was locked. I wait in my car. Then I see the priest leave the church office and walk across the courtyard into the church side door. I walk up to the door, it is now open. I go in to pray in the pew closest to the confessional. A lady comes in to light the candles. I ask the priest if he will hear confessions. He says yes. I tell him its been many years since my last confession and proceed. He is not helpful, he seems rushed. Tells me this is not a confession and asked me to call and make an appointment. I leave the confessional kind of in shock. I sit back in the pew to talk to God. The priest goes off, seems to be busy going back and forth. I sit there for almost an hour. NO ONE ELSE SHOWS UP FOR CONFESSION. A few people start coming in for mass. The children rehearse a song, the priest is greeting people. I am still sitting, in shock in the pew. Then I get up and walk away. I have not been back to that parish.

I really wished Father had talked to me, I was a soul in distress. He had the time. I talked to God instead.

I hope things are going well in your new parish! I’ve gone to various parishes and most of them are great. I am going to ir Cathedral for confession this week, I have not gone there, so lets see how it goes!

 

[babochka]

I am going to use a harsh word here: scandalize-to shock, appall, outrage, horrify, disgust, revolt, repel, sicken; offend, give offense to, affront, insult; cause raised eyebrows

I wasn’t going to bring this up in this thread, but it might help others not to get lulled into thinking that what is going on today regarding the availability of priests for confessions is just to be accepted.

I was that distraught lady. I did try calling for an appointment. But my home parish was in a transition. The receptionist didn’t tell me that when I first contacted them, she just kept putting me off. The priest was unavailable because he was being transferred. Then the parish was left without a priest for 18 months. Then finally the interim priest was made permanent. Or whatever you call the process. Once I found that out I showed up 15 minutes early for confession on a weekday. The church was locked. I wait in my car. Then I see the priest leave the church office and walk across the courtyard into the church side door. I walk up to the door, it is now open. I go in to pray in the pew closest to the confessional. A lady comes in to light the candles. I ask the priest if he will hear confessions. He says yes. I tell him its been many years since my last confession and proceed. He is not helpful, he seems rushed. Tells me this is not a confession and asked me to call and make an appointment. I leave the confessional kind of in shock. I sit back in the pew to talk to God. The priest goes off, seems to be busy going back and forth. I sit there for almost an hour. NO ONE ELSE SHOWS UP FOR CONFESSION. A few people start coming in for mass. The children rehearse a song, the priest is greeting people. I am still sitting, in shock in the pew. Then I get up and walk away. I have not been back to that parish.

I really wished Father had talked to me, I was a soul in distress. He had the time. I talked to God instead.

Thank you for your story. You are right that this is scandalous and souls are being lost because some priests are so busy that they do not have time or do not make time for their primary duty.

I once met a woman who attended an SSPX chapel. I asked her how she came to go there. She explained to me that she had been away from the faith for a number of years and had reached a crisis point in her life. She called the local parish and left a message, asking to speak with a priest. Nobody ever returned her call. A few days later, she got out the phone book and called every Catholic church listed, among them the SSPX chapel. The only priest who called her back was the SSPX priest. In spite of the fact that he lives in another state and only comes in for weekends and Holy Days, he found time to meet with her. He invited her to church and he showed her love. He provided the pastoral care that everyone refused. This was an appaling lack of pastoral concern for a soul in distress. What could possibly be more important in a priest’s life than providing this sort of care?

 

[babochka]

I agree, but she’s not there to “stop” you, she’s probably there so the priest doesn’t see people in the Confession line.

Why would a person be stationed to stop Father from seeing people in the Confession line?

 

[thistle]

We have Confession 6 days a week (Monday to Saturday). Not possible on Sundays as we have 10 Masses every Sunday.

 

[Gorgias]

She called the local parish and left a message, asking to speak with a priest. Nobody ever returned her call. A few days later, she got out the phone book and called every Catholic church listed … This was an appaling lack of pastoral concern for a soul in distress. What could possibly be more important in a priest’s life than providing this sort of care?

I guess that depends on the message that she left and the amount of time she allowed before turning to the SSPX priest. “I’d like to speak to a priest” might get a different response than “I’m in a crisis and need to talk to a priest” or even “I’ve been away from the Church for 18 years and need to return to confession”.

Of course, we’re not even considering that the priests themselves probably weren’t answering the phones – chances are, their receptionists/secretaries were. The question, then, is how did the person who took the voicemail react to it? As a priority message to the pastor? With somewhat less urgency? By routing it to someone else on parish staff? We’re making quite a bit of assumptions by just laying this at the feet of the priests…

 

[babochka]

I guess that depends on the message that she left and the amount of time she allowed before turning to the SSPX priest. “I’d like to speak to a priest” might get a different response than “I’m in a crisis and need to talk to a priest” or even “I’ve been away from the Church for 18 years and need to return to confession”.

Of course, we’re not even considering that the priests themselves probably weren’t answering the phones – chances are, their receptionists/secretaries were. The question, then, is how did the person who took the voicemail react to it? As a priority message to the pastor? With somewhat less urgency? By routing it to someone else on parish staff? We’re making quite a bit of assumptions by just laying this at the feet of the priests…

I realize now that my comment has kind of sent this thread off on a tangent, but they are related. Maybe I should start a new thread, because I’d like to explore this topic.

I’m not just laying this at the feet of priests, but pointing out a problem with the system. In the original post, it was not the priest who told the people that he could not hear confessions, it was the “gatekeeper”. It is also the gatekeeper secretaries in various parishes who filter the messages to the priest, decide the urgency of a matter, etc. To this day, this woman has not heard back from anybody at any of the parishes where she left messages. She didn’t know that she was turning to an SSPX priest; she didn’t even know that the SSPX existed! She knew that someone was finally calling her back and she was relieved. It shouldn’t have mattered whether she expressed urgency in her phone calls to the parish, whether she said she wanted an appointment for confession, or whether she left a simple, generic message asking for a call back. Somebody should have gotten back to her! I know of another situation in which a person responded to a Catholics Come Home campaign. He called his local parish (more than once), and was never contacted by anyone. He did, thanks be to God, find his way home, but he had to work at it. And he was responding to an invitation from the parish! This is a cultural problem that we have in the Church, at least in the U.S. and we really need to consider the effect that it is having on souls. This is not something I’m laying on the feet of priests alone, but they can certainly be at the forefront of the cultural shift.

 

[EasterJoy]

For most parishes, the scheduled confession times result in a situation where turning away penitents so that the priest can prepare for Mass is relatively rare. For every week he has to turn away penitents, there are usually many weeks when he spends some time alone in there. Telling him to get a crystal ball so he knows when to arrange to have a brother priest in the other confessional isn’t necessarily practical.

Most of the time, however, the priest saying the Mass following the confession time allows some time in his schedule so he can return to the confessional after Mass, if the need arises. Not always, but it is worth hanging around and asking if this is possible as he exits the confessional.

The other thing to remember is that God sees your honest effort to confess your sins. If you are made to obediently wait longer than you had hoped, you will not be made to suffer for your obedience if you die before you can confess. Rather, a humble and obedient attitude will be counted in your favor. An attitude that does not respect the time needed by others to do their duties towards others is less praiseworthy.

 

[EasterJoy]

Why would a person be stationed to stop Father from seeing people in the Confession line?

Perhaps Father has gotten complaints from penitents who think they ought to be told that there would be no more confessions heard after some certain time, particularly on those days when he cannot stick around after Mass to hear the rest. If he grabbed you as you set up for Mass and said, “I have to leave right after Mass. There probably won’t be anybody, but could you come over at 5:15 and let anyone left in the confession line know that I wouldn’t be able to hear their confessions today?” wouldn’t you do as he asked?

 

[Casilda]

Maybe I should start a new thread, because I’d like to explore this topic.



To this day, this woman has not heard back from anybody at any of the parishes where she left messages. Somebody should have gotten back to her! I know of another situation in which a person responded to a Catholics Come Home campaign. He called his local parish (more than once), and was never contacted by anyone. He did, thanks be to God, find his way home, but he had to work at it. And he was responding to an invitation from the parish! This is a cultural problem that we have in the Church, at least in the U.S. and we really need to consider the effect that it is having on souls. This is not something I’m laying on the feet of priests alone, but they can certainly be at the forefront of the cultural shift.

When I brought up my own problems coming home 18 months ago, I was met with disbelief here at CAF. Even being called a liar. I left CAF for 6 months, thinking this place had the same gatekeepers my local diocese had. I did NOT come home to my cradle Latin/Roman roots, I had to transfer into Eastern Catholic. I personally know several cradle Catholics who have reverted into Eastern Orthodoxy because of the same difficulties in our diocese.

 

[Gorgias]

I realize now that my comment has kind of sent this thread off on a tangent, but they are related. Maybe I should start a new thread, because I’d like to explore this topic.

No, I think it’s exactly on topic, although you’re addressing the issue at its core, rather than anecdotally!

I’m not just laying this at the feet of priests, but pointing out a problem with the system.

Fair enough. Let’s identify ‘the system’, then. We’re talking either about volunteers or about paid personnel who – let’s admit it – aren’t being paid what other professionals in their roles are being paid in the secular world. Some are very good; others, well… ‘you get what you pay for’?

Perhaps the problem is that priests (who, generally, aren’t attempting to limit access or place roadblocks) might (reasonably) presume that, when they tell folks what they want… actually get what they’ve asked for. Or, perhaps, they naturally expect that someone who’s nice to them on an interpersonal basis likewise takes a gentle, pastoral tone with others. And, of course, especially given the number of priests today (or, more importantly, the priest-to-parishioner ratio), priests are running at full speed, and once they give direction, don’t have cycles to double back and verify “does Mary speak with people with a pleasant disposition? Does she explain things in a way that don’t give people the wrong impression about ‘gatekeepers’?” Or, perhaps, he doesn’t have a line of people just waiting to volunteer, so he realizes that if he tells Mary that she just doesn’t have what it takes to be a ‘confession-line-coordinator’, then he’ll have no one to take her place.

That, I think, is the ‘system’ you’re talking about.

 

[thistle]

I don’t know how the ratio of priests to Catholics compares here in the Philippines with other countries.
For the country as a whole we have 1 priest for 8,500 Catholics. The Archbishop said ideally it should be 1 priest to 2000 Catholics.
I guess our parish is relatively well off as we have 14,000 parishioners and 3 full-time priests so a ratio of 1:4,700.
We need these priests as we have 80% Mass attendance and 10 Masses every Sunday to accommodate them.

 

[Gorgias]

We need these priests as we have 80% Mass attendance and 10 Masses every Sunday to accommodate them.

You are truly blessed!

 

[babochka]

Perhaps Father has gotten complaints from penitents who think they ought to be told that there would be no more confessions heard after some certain time, particularly on those days when he cannot stick around after Mass to hear the rest. If he grabbed you as you set up for Mass and said, “I have to leave right after Mass. There probably won’t be anybody, but could you come over at 5:15 and let anyone left in the confession line know that I wouldn’t be able to hear their confessions today?” wouldn’t you do as he asked?

SuperLuigi said this:

				Originally Posted by **SuperLuigi** 					[forums.catholic-questions.org/images/buttons_khaki/viewpost.gif](http://forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=12977926#post12977926) 				
			*I agree, but she's not there to "stop" you, she's probably there so the priest doesn't see people in the Confession line. :shrug:   *

and I said this

				Originally Posted by **babochka**

				[forums.catholic-questions.org/images/buttons_khaki/viewpost.gif](http://forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=12999377#post12999377) 				
			*Why would a person be stationed to stop Father from seeing people in the Confession line? *

Your response doesn’t address my question at all. Of course I would help Father out if he asked me to let people know that he needed to stop seeing confessions. What I don’t understand is why someone would be stationed there so that the priest doesn’t see people in the confession line.

 

[thistle]

You are truly blessed!

I know. We are indeed.

As you might gather the priests have the dispensation to receive Communion more than twice on Sundays. From time to time we additionally have guest priests from other parishes to help out.

On Holy Days other than Sundays we have the Sunday Mass schedule of 10 Masses to allow everyone the opportunity to fulfill the obligation.