Serious Doubts/Questions about Faith

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šŸ™‚ You ā€˜re just a complicated kinda guy Edwin. 😃
I’m keepin’ you in my prayers.:signofcross:
 
I understand this in regards to actions we take here on earth, in our bodies, sure, that makes sense, actions have consequences, I think we all agree on that, if we choose to do something that causes harm to another, or takes anything from them, that should have consequences, that is just…BUT, when it comes to the ultimate choice, whether we feel we should have a relationship with and worship our creator, there is a WRONG choice, this is proven, if we refuse to do this (no matter what the reason may be), we could have been the best person on the planet, donated all their money to help others, never said a bad word about anyone, was a good person at heart, yet they end up in a place that is considered punishment (just due to that ONE wrong choice??)…this means there is a right and a wrong choice…that is NOT free will, not true free will anyway.

So, God is saying its WRONG to not worship ones creator, its wrong not to desire a relationship with our creator.

Its always been said God gave us free will because he didnt want a world full of ā€˜robots’ who just automatically worshiped him…well, that is what he really wants, that is apparent, he just wants us to make the choice, anything less is deserving of eternal punishment?

As long as we dont hurt others thru our actions, I dont believe there should be a right and wrong choice when it comes to if we choose to worship and invite our creator into our lives, free will should make that OUR choice, but there should be no ā€˜wrong’ choice, both would be neutral.
It can’t possibly be neutral, because God is the source of all good.

If you finally and knowingly reject God, you can’t be happy. It’s as simple as that.

People who reject God in good faith, perhaps because of their very love of righteousness and human flourishing, are not truly rejecting God.

Many who are pious and devout on earth may well hear (in fact Jesus warned about this) ā€œI never knew you,ā€ while many an angry atheist discovers on Judgment day that what he was railing against was really a false idol, and he was serving the true God by so doing.

Edwin
 
It can’t possibly be neutral, because God is the source of all good.

If you finally and knowingly reject God, you can’t be happy. It’s as simple as that.
Completely agree. šŸ‘
People who reject God in good faith, perhaps because of their very love of righteousness and human flourishing, are not truly rejecting God.
We can’t know this as the condition of another soul since we are not God so we really cannot say this…even though we may believe it.
Many who are pious and devout on earth may well hear (in fact Jesus warned about this) ā€œI never knew you,ā€ while many an angry atheist discovers on Judgment day that what he was railing against was really a false idol, and he was serving the true God by so doing.
Well yeah…but you need to qualify that with the fact that in the 2 places where that is said, (Matthew 7:23 and Luke 13:7) it says "Depart from me, all you evildoers!’ So the issue is whether they returned to their sins…playing at righteousness.

Again, we are unlikely to be able to know this so 🤷 but we need to be kinda careful of what we say. šŸ™‚
 
Well I deliberately saidā€¦ā€œOther people’s sin is ultimately their problemā€¦ā€
ā€œUltimatelyā€ means they are judged for their sins and I am judged for mine.
Fair enough, if you’re talking about judgment. Not reasonable – ā€˜ultimately’ or otherwise – if we’re talking about the nature of sin! šŸ˜‰
No, my point was that there is no reason - as I said - why two humans can’t ā€œtheoreticallyā€ be good and agree with each other that it is good to be good
That’s the part I was disagreeing with. šŸ˜‰

If there is no source of goodness (i.e., God), how can there be a human reflection of goodness?
And they might just happen to agree that stealing is wrong and murder and adultery etc.without ever having previously heard of God.
The Church teaches that the natural law is written on our hearts; even ā€˜without ever having previously heard of God’, that law can be known by us.
But where their moral framework falls apart is when/if they find themselves in an argument over whether something (like abortion for example) is or isn’t ā€œgoodā€
I would argue that an argument about moral frameworks falls apart if it presumes that there is no God who is the basis for the presence of a moral framework. 🤷
 
I thank everyone for their long and thought out replies that I’ve read with an open mind. After a while spent in contemplation and genuine attempts at praying, I still don’t believe that a higher power is out there. There are simply too many roadblocks for me to become a true believer. Political disagreements and especially theological (what with god not intervening due to the ā€œnatural lawā€ and things of that subject).

Though as a volunteer for my local Catholic Charities branch, I understand the power that faith has to offer each of you. For that I have nothing but respect for your traditions.
 
…] He can easily remove all crime from this world for the sake of his people. but he chooses not to seemingly out of pride. …]

,]But when I see friends and family die needlessly, I don’t see God’s tough love. I see something that a truly benevolent creator would have never created in the first place. I don’t know any decent human alive who would make all members of a species suffer to test loyalty, or to avenge the sins of parents from thousands of years ago.
One thing I often discuss with family and friends, is about suffering. People in this day and age abhor suffering, as if suffering is something truly and completely evil. They praise assisted suicide and abortion because the alternative (suffering) is too horrendous.

As a nurse, what I often see is people taking medication to avoid suffering. They take painkillers to not feel pain. They take medication to lose weight so they don’t have to give up their favorite food. They take up oral contraceptives so they don’t have to deal with babies.

All this brings up only more problems. Painkillers end up **masking **the symptoms of more grave diseases - many cancer patients would have felt SOME symptom of the cancer if they weren’t using so much painkillers, antipyretics (to lower fevers), anti-inflamatory medications… Medication to lose weight gives us fatigue, depression, distort our body image in our own minds… Oral contraceptives, and this is an issue we are having in our family, raise cholesterol and, to alarming rates, the risk of a stroke!

In the end, for the fear of suffering, people end up worsening their own lives.

But the Church teaches us that, if God makes us suffer (say, that little headache, and even that cancer), it is because He can make something greater out of it.

One friend who loves to work out (parkour, running, etc), once answered one of my texts about suffering with: ā€œYeah, people are scared. Don’t they know that ā€˜No Pain, No Gain’?ā€. So fitting!

You said that you see friends and family (and good people, and innocent people) suffering needlessly. Was it for nothing? Did you learn nothing from their suffering? Did nothing better come out from all that pain?

My grandmother died of cancer recently, after 7 years living with it. My grandfather (and godfather) died recently of pneumonia, after years with Alzheimer’s. It wasn’t all rainbows and confetti, certainly šŸ˜› But it did bring my family closer together. Uncles who moved too far would come to visit. Some of the sons and daughters who didn’t like my grandpa would have to help taking care of him sometimes. Even I gave up some of my fear, and told both my grandparents that I loved them dearly (how many times can we do that in normal days? We are too scared to say such things to people who were always there).

My grandmother had more time to think about her situation. It was depressing, seeing her not understanding how God could allow that. She looked for answers in Spiritism mostly… and today, as I see what Saints like St.Teresa say about suffering? Man, I would have loved to have this knowledge back then.
ā€œThink you, my child, that merit consists in enjoyment? No, it consists in suffering and in loving. Look at my life, wholly embittered with afflictions. Be assured, my child, that the more my Father loves anyone, the more sufferings he sends him; they are the standard of his love. Look at my wounds; your torments will never reach so far. It is absurd to suppose that my Father favors with his friendship those who are strangers to suffering.ā€ - Our Lord to St.Teresa
ā€œLook Daughter, and learn how to loveā€ and He showed me His five open wounds. "Do you see this cross, these thorns, these nails, these bruises, these tears, these wounds, this blood? They are all works of love; of infinite love. Do you see how much I have loved you? Do you really want to love Me? Then first learn how to suffer. It is by suffering that one learns how to loveā€. - St. Gemma Galgani
ā€˜Loving’ God when you have great health, riches and a happy family is easy. But True Love? It comes in times of suffering, when you have to fight against distrust, against the loss of faith and hope, against a dying body and a sad mind. To live with a happy child is easy, but to live with a rebellious teenager is pure suffering. To do both we need Love, much more so with the teenager. With the angry parent. With the criminal. With the sinner. With our enemies - all of whom we were called to love!

Loving is hard, and often comes with great suffering. Maybe that is why we have to suffer so much - so that God may teach us how to truly love as He loved us when He died on the Cross…
 
And sorry for the long reply after your thankful words… but I had to say it šŸ˜›

You are loving God a great deal right now. Mother Teresa had 40 years without feeling God in her life, and yet she kept on searching for him - and, in doing so, did many great things.

In suffering we learn a lot about ourselves. My sister has been on contraceptives for years now, while I have never used. She is dealing with killing headaches, high cholesterol and constant faint spells. Me? I have to deal with cramps for 2 days every month. But in suffering I have come to understand my body - when my period starts and how long it lasts, how the pain feels and how to position myself to stop it. I learned to understand and love my body, even when it hurts to walk. A small suffering for a small grace! :rolleyes:

The bigger the suffering, the bigger the teaching on love. I once had depression, and I almost died because of it. I lashed out against family and friends, against God and against myself. Coming out of it? I learned to be kinder. Humble. A bit more patient.

We all have our Cross to carry in the suffering we are given. We can either learn to love it, or hate it. I, for one, would rather love the Cross I am given than have to carry something I hate all the way to the end. šŸ‘

Soooo… yeah, sorry for the long post. I hope you all the best in your search!!
 
For a while now, I have considered myself an atheist of sorts. But it seems as if an internal intuition keeps compelling me to rejoin the faith community. At times of anxiety I often suddenly feel as if I can just pray and become calm; however, I purposely stop myself (despite an intense feeling) because of my lack of religion. Frequently I feel like and ask about going to church and partaking in its traditions, but this is stopped by what I believe to be irreconcilable differences about the theology. The bottom line is, I want to return to Catholicism. I feel God’s presence and will, I sense how powerful community is. But there are a number of significant roadblocks in the way.

Questions:

1) Why does God allow suffering to exist in the world?

-I’ve seen answers from the Catechism, this very website, and many other sources. And I am not satisfied with them. Why would an all-powerful and all-loving creator feel the need to ā€œtestā€ his children with temptation (referring to the fall of man in Genesis), willing to rain fire and condemn an entire species to misery for something he established? Why do we seem to exist for his pleasure alone and not ours? He can easily remove all crime from this world for the sake of his people. but he chooses not to seemingly out of pride (you play bad due to an imperfection that I can fix, but you will still be the full one to suffer for it). It doesn’t add up. Honestly, it seems like an endorsement of crime just so we can learn to follow him and sacrifice much, almost deriving pleasure from teaching a lesson that hurts innocent people.

Murder, theft, systemic crime, poverty, etc. These can be attributed to human fallibility. But what about hurricanes, tsunamis, droughts, cancer, and so on? Why does God afflict us with these ailments? Again, apologists say it’s to ā€œtestā€ our strength/faith. But when I see friends and family die needlessly, I don’t see God’s tough love. I see something that a truly benevolent creator would have never created in the first place. I don’t know any decent human alive who would make all members of a species suffer to test loyalty, or to avenge the sins of parents from thousands of years ago.

2) Why is politically opposing civil same-sex marriage so central to the faith?

-I understand and am willing to follow the church’s teachings on this matter. Marriage only being between a man and a woman. However, who are we to force this belief on other people? Furthermore, many scientific organizations/studies have demonstrated that children raised by LGBT parents are not likely to show any sort of deficiency long term, nor are they less likely to be heterosexual. Thus gay and lesbian families can provide great homes for needy children. What matters to me is not gender, but love. This should trump any argument people make for ā€œdivinely inspired design.ā€

3) Why is ā€œGodā€ necessary for "good?"

-More specifically, why would good people go to hell simply for not believing in Catholic doctrines? I know many friends and fellow citizens who are dedicated to their communities. I myself have founded and am in charge of many volunteer youth groups and civic clubs (helping to raise much for charity). Despite the fact that we are honest people who want to make the world better, why does the church warn that we will be damned for not attending mass or eating the body and blood? For worshiping a different deity or none at all? If one is truly all-loving and all-knowing, it seems as if helping others and demonstrating character should be enough to earn everlasting life.

I do not ask these questions to be hostile. As I’ve stated above, I want to return to the Catholic Church. Every day I feel a strong urge to (sort of like a craving for food), but these obstacles are simply too strong and expose too many holes in what I would profess.
I recommend a couple of books.

Making Sense Out Of Suffering by Peter Kreeft.

Why Does God Permit Evil by Dom Bruno Webb, O.S.B.
 
I thank everyone for their long and thought out replies that I’ve read with an open mind. After a while spent in contemplation and genuine attempts at praying, I still don’t believe that a higher power is out there. There are simply too many roadblocks for me to become a true believer. Political disagreements and especially theological (what with god not intervening due to the ā€œnatural lawā€ and things of that subject).

Though as a volunteer for my local Catholic Charities branch, I understand the power that faith has to offer each of you. For that I have nothing but respect for your traditions.
http://qmbarque.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/miracleacolph.jpg?w=894&h=1199
qmbarque.com/2013/11/19/an-astounding-miraculous-photograph-taken-during-eucharistic-adoration/
 
For a while now, I have considered myself an atheist of sorts. But it seems as if an internal intuition keeps compelling me to rejoin the faith community. At times of anxiety I often suddenly feel as if I can just pray and become calm; however, I purposely stop myself (despite an intense feeling) because of my lack of religion. Frequently I feel like and ask about going to church and partaking in its traditions, but this is stopped by what I believe to be irreconcilable differences about the theology. The bottom line is, I want to return to Catholicism. I feel God’s presence and will, I sense how powerful community is. But there are a number of significant roadblocks in the way.

Questions:

1) Why does God allow suffering to exist in the world?

-I’ve seen answers from the Catechism, this very website, and many other sources. And I am not satisfied with them. Why would an all-powerful and all-loving creator feel the need to ā€œtestā€ his children with temptation (referring to the fall of man in Genesis), willing to rain fire and condemn an entire species to misery for something he established? …
Have you ever gone up to a teacher and asked, why do you feel the need to test me? Why do you feel the need to fail ME if I fail your tests…

It’s really getting to the purpose of tests anyway…right?
J:
Why do we seem to exist for his pleasure alone and not ours? He can easily remove all crime from this world for the sake of his people. but he chooses not to seemingly out of pride (you play bad due to an imperfection that I can fix, but you will still be the full one to suffer for it). It doesn’t add up.
We are the only creatures God created, that have free will. We are the only ones in creation that God made to His image and likeness. We are the only ones in creation that can say no to God.
J:
Honestly, it seems like an endorsement of crime just so we can learn to follow him and sacrifice much, almost deriving pleasure from teaching a lesson that hurts innocent people.

Murder, theft, systemic crime, poverty, etc. These can be attributed to human fallibility. But what about hurricanes, tsunamis, droughts, cancer, and so on? Why does God afflict us with these ailments? Again, apologists say it’s to ā€œtestā€ our strength/faith. But when I see friends and family die needlessly, I don’t see God’s tough love. I see something that a truly benevolent creator would have never created in the first place. I don’t know any decent human alive who would make all members of a species suffer to test loyalty, or to avenge the sins of parents from thousands of years ago.
We all have a time to sojourn in this imperfect world for a relatively short time, with hopes of living in that perfect world in the next life that lasts forever.

until that time comes

God is giving us choices.

  1. *]live a relatively few decades in an imperfect world, being obedient to His wishes, doing whatever He says, even with all it’s pitfalls that appear in life, but when this life ends, if we persevere, knowing of the promise He gives for the future that is unimaginably wonderful and lasts forever.
    *]OR have great happiness here for the same few decades of life doing opposite to what God wishes, only to have the opposite result ( grief beyond belief) in the next life that also lasts forever.

    What do we choose? Door #1 or door #2?
    J:
    2) Why is politically opposing civil same-sex marriage so central to the faith?
    It is total arrogance to think 5 fools on a court can override God’s natural laws that HE made and wrote on our hearts from birth.
    J:
    3) Why is ā€œGodā€ necessary for "good?"

    -More specifically, why would good people go to hell simply for not believing in Catholic doctrines? I know many friends and fellow citizens who are dedicated to their communities. I myself have founded and am in charge of many volunteer youth groups and civic clubs (helping to raise much for charity). Despite the fact that we are honest people who want to make the world better, why does the church warn that we will be damned for not attending mass or eating the body and blood?
    The Church teaches that because that’s what she was taught

    Heb 10:25-29 is about the mass on Sunday (the day) CCC 2178

    Here is Heb:25-29 examined #22
    J:
    For worshiping a different deity or none at all? If one is truly all-loving and all-knowing, it seems as if helping others and demonstrating character should be enough to earn everlasting life.
    That should be obvious. There are NO other deities. NONE.

    As I’ve said previously, Satan loves the word ā€œWhyā€.

    Ideally, when God says to us, do this, or don’t do that, our answer in return is ā€œyes Lord, my pleasureā€ā€¦ :cool:
 
I thank everyone for their long and thought out replies that I’ve read with an open mind.
No worries. šŸ™‚
After a while spent in contemplation and genuine attempts at praying, I still don’t believe that a higher power is out there.
Okay.
There are simply too many roadblocks for me to become a true believer.
Okay, for me personally it’s the opposite. There are too many roadblocks for me to deny the existence of God.
Political disagreements and especially theological (what with god not intervening due to the ā€œnatural lawā€ and things of that subject).
No offense, but I have to be honest with you here, this sounds crazy. In my opinion, Political disagreements and theological issues have really nothing to do with whether or not it’s reasonable to deduce the existence of God.

To disbelieve in God due to the problems you raised in your original post is crazy in my opinion, as those I believe have nothing to do with whether or not God exists.

May I ask whether you read the two links in my last post to your reply?

forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=13006282&postcount=2

forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=13006283&postcount=3

As for the problem of pain & suffering, the following I believe will greatly help.
Jesus to Catalina:
I Have Given My Life for You - loveandmercy.org/Eng-IHG-Reg.pdf
(Roman Catholic Imprimatur)

**4) I wish to speak to you again about My Passion because when I do so, I want to spread in your hearts feelings of union with Me, of compassion… to show you My Love.
  1. When I was led to Calvary, there was condensed in Me all suffering which I always experienced, while thinking about the wickedness of mankind that so greatly offended a Father who is so good. That offended Love was what made Me suffer most, piercing My Soul at every sigh, at every step which brought Me closer to the crucifixion.
  2. How I wish that mankind would cultivate greater devotion to My Passion! For that reason, I insist upon it, even though many ā€œtheologiansā€ feel repulsion in their stomachs when they contemplate a statue representing Me weeping or bleeding.
  3. My Passion is a compendium of Holy Love and supernatural Wisdom itself. Everything can be found during My hours of the Passion: every evil in the world transformed into good for eternity, and all the supernatural goodness of present mankind, united to the promise of the good that they may attain if they die protected by My Passion.
  4. It is for that reason that time and time again I insist on it for those who gaze upon My crucified self, and I invite them to be with Me in order to relive the dreadful, bloody hours that led Me to sacrifice Myself.
  5. Those who do not meditate on My sufferings, who do not compare them with their own, do not extract from the treasure chest of My Passion, the treasures that I have stored up for each one of you.
  6. I assure you that those who meditate on My sorrowful Passion will derive many Graces, because it is a treasure chest of infinitely enormous benefits. By the same token, those who have paid no attention or have forgotten My sufferings will always find emptiness and spiritual poverty.
  7. My sufferings will always be the Glory of My Father and My Glory, as well as the greatest demonstration of the Spirit of Love for you on earth.
    …
  8. If you keep Me company while meditating on My Passion, I will make smooth your hardships, because as I have said, I always repay love with Love.**
Jesus to Catalina:
I Have Given My Life for You - loveandmercy.org/Eng-IHG-Reg.pdf
(Roman Catholic Imprimatur)

**4) My Passion contains everything that you need today and tomorrow and it works marvellous miracles on all those who forget the world and themselves, in order to think of Me.
  1. When everything is subordinated to My sufferings, to My Will, then My Passion brings great benefits to souls.
  2. In the world, many words, too many are uttered! But if greater reasoning about Me, especially about My sorrow, were introduced [into the world], My Love would soon enkindle flames in your souls…
  3. Yet I am deprived of this delight: the stirring of souls to unite their sufferings to Mine in order to attain comfort and strength, generosity and patience, all that which is lacking in men and women of these times.
  4. They remove Me from nations, from households, from schools and even from many Christian installations. They do not want to exalt Christ crucified; they prefer to show Me to new generations as Christ Resurrected… as if Tabor could be separated from Calvary!
  5. Many do not understand that those who love Me as Christ crucified and acknowledge My sufferings, will also love My Presence in the Eucharist.
  6. But those who are ignorant of My Passion, will be unlikely to believe in and to love My Eucharistic Presence, alive, among them…**
forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=13103819&postcount=7

forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=13103823&postcount=8
Though as a volunteer for my local Catholic Charities branch, I understand the power that faith has to offer each of you. For that I have nothing but respect for your traditions.
Thank you. šŸ™‚

I hope this has helped

God Bless You

Thank you for reading
Josh
 
…2) Why is politically opposing civil same-sex marriage so central to the faith?
I suggest it is not particularly ā€œcentralā€, though the underlying belief is important.

Why would you be content for the society in which you bring up your children to publically proclaim that marriage and sexual relations are not designed solely for one man and one woman? Would you be entirely happy to see same sex relations including marriage and family formation, portrayed throughout the society, and in the media, in children’s storybooks, etc. as just another norm? These things are a consequence of being ā€œOKā€ with SSM.
 
Hello Joko2599,
Thank you very much for sharing your questions and some of your story! I am excited to hear you are feeling the desire to return to the Catholic Church. I returned to the Catholic Faith after a six-year fall away. I was privately atheist for two of those years, with the main reasoning being I accepted the false idea that it is impossible to know which religion or ā€œwayā€ to heaven is true, which turned into it is purposeless to study God, therefore I felt the existence of God is purposeless. I encourage you to continually seek to build up your community, and in the process, greater buildings will illuminate greater understandings to the solutions to your questions.
Why does God allow suffering to exist in the world?
In simplicity: To fulfill the purpose for creation.

In complexity for those experiencing God’s Love: Because most of us, namely myself, do not accept the value, nor depths, of patience and kindness by word. In allowing us to experience the suffering which comes from our impatience and meanness, we change and accept the value of patience and kindness.

In complexity for those sharing God’s Love: Because those of us, namely myself, who are quick to react with impatience and meanness to suffering, need leaders to teach us how reacting with patience and kindness to suffering is far more productive and healthy.
Why is politically opposing civil same-sex marriage so central to the faith?
In simplicity: If what you believe is not worthy of civilization, then it isn’t worth your faith.

In complexity: The Catholic Church loves every person and wants more of every person, in order to build the peace and joy of the community. If a person enters a lifelong commitment to an individual that is incapable of reproduction, in the long run, the commitment has limited the building of peace and joy.
However, who are we to force this belief on other people?
I encourage you to recognize the change in your questioning. You changed from questioning being political to forceful. Do you view politics as force?
Why is ā€œGodā€ necessary for ā€œgood?ā€
In simplicity: Because in actuality, God is good.

In complexity further discussion and consideration will reveal ā€œwhyā€: What definition for God do you accept?
…I still don’t believe that a higher power is out there.
I once struggled with the same belief. However, recognize you have a vision of a higher power according to your position:
…we are honest people who want to make the world better…
because a better world has higher power. Therefore, essentially two conclusions follow, either:
Recognize that you having the vision of a better world makes you of higher power, and in conjunction with your belief that a higher power isn’t out there makes you the highest power. Therefore, being an atheist with a vision of a better world makes you a self-proclaimed god.
OR
Fulfill your greatest vision by resolving the greatest world for eternal living for all, and for deeper theological understanding, fulfill the vision of God by resolving: What is the greatest creation of God, and what must logically occur in order to fulfill that creation?
And in turn, you will recognize your feeling of God’s presence and will was right on target!

Thank you very much for your time and consideration! I really enjoyed pondering the questions, and I look forward to considering your thoughts.
 
.
Questions:

1) Why does God allow suffering to exist in the world?

-I’ve seen answers from the Catechism, this very website, and many other sources. And I am not satisfied with them. Why would an all-powerful and all-loving creator feel the need to ā€œtestā€ his children with temptation (referring to the fall of man in Genesis), willing to rain fire and condemn an entire species to misery for something he established? Why do we seem to exist for his pleasure alone and not ours? He can easily remove all crime from this world for the sake of his people. but he chooses not to seemingly out of pride (you play bad due to an imperfection that I can fix, but you will still be the full one to suffer for it). It doesn’t add up. Honestly, it seems like an endorsement of crime just so we can learn to follow him and sacrifice much, almost deriving pleasure from teaching a lesson that hurts innocent people.

Murder, theft, systemic crime, poverty, etc. These can be attributed to human fallibility. But what about hurricanes, tsunamis, droughts, cancer, and so on? Why does God afflict us with these ailments? Again, apologists say it’s to ā€œtestā€ our strength/faith. But when I see friends and family die needlessly, I don’t see God’s tough love. I see something that a truly benevolent creator would have never created in the first place. I don’t know any decent human alive who would make all members of a species suffer to test loyalty, or to avenge the sins of parents from thousands of years ago.
It seems you have a few objections with this question.

First,you seem to be asking yourself why would God himself put the first humans in such a situation where they would be ā€˜ā€˜tested’’ and eventually fail the test and experience sin and suffering following from that first original sin.

Well,I think I’ve got something that might answer your questions about this:

christianthinktank.com/gutripper.html

youtube.com/watch?v=cWlimBlVink (Note:I know one of the things he links to further in his video isn’t in line with Church doctrine,but I think that much of what he says aside from some parts could be considered safe)

And your second question seems to be about why God would allow natural evil (i.e. tsunamis,disease,natural suffering etc.)

I’ve also got something that might answer that or parts of your question:

socrates58.blogspot.com/2005/03/christian-replies-to-argument-from-evil.html

deeperwaters.ddns.net/?p=563
 
Joko, you said, ā€œThere are simply too many roadblocks for me to become a true believer. Political disagreements and especially theological ā€¦ā€

Faith overcomes the roadblocks. We will never have perfect answers for everything. Faith fills up our certainty where there seems to be contradiction. Simon, an old man in the temple, told Mary and Joseph, that the child Jesus would be a contradiction to many. And Jesus is still today. This all seems like a bunch of jiberish to many, because they are without faith. Faith is a real power given by God. At the start of faith, it is small, and it is up to us to make it grow strong. The more we assent to the ideas of Jesus and put them into practise, the stronger it will get. Faith does not need proof. It is an acknowledgement of trust in Jesus that what he tells us, and the faith he presents to us, is true and only true…everything…no matter how it may appear to us in our human logic and feelings.

Not all the ideas that faith may touch upon are written in concrete. Sometimes it may be difficult to arrive at what the truth is even with our faith. But not all that faith may touch upon is required for us to believe in or in an absolute way, for so much is open to opinion(s). But there are some truths that are laid in cement, and those are what we must accept from Jesus.

From what you have said so far, it seems to me that you are not an atheist but one who is barely holding on to the faith, and the Holy Spirit is prompting you to pray to strengthen the faith you have. It would be well to listen to him for he loves you and is helping you in the right direction. For without prayer faith withers and dies, and sin takes over. So listen to him and begin to pray if for nothing more that the Holy Spirit will help you to increase you assent to the faith that Jesus has presented to you.

I would suggest that you get a green scapular, have it blessed, keep it on your person, and say the prayer each and every day on the scapular. Mary herself promised that she would get you those graces necessary to strengthen your faith by doing this simple act.

May Jesus, the Good Shepherd, fill you with his love and wisdom.
 
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