Seriously- Should marriage be universal?

[TMO]

While marriage is a blessing for many people, not everyone is included in the blessed group.

Admittedly, I am something of a marriage skeptic. I have seen far too many romantic misalliances. My understanding is that life partner selection is frequently defective. We must choose wisely.

Unfortunately, there are marriage seekers who are not suited for the married state. If they enter matrimony, they make both their partners and themselves misserable. I think such people should avoid marriage.

What is your opinion? Should all single people seek marriage? Or are some of us just not suited to be married?

Yes, you are correct. Marriage is a vocation, a calling from God. It is true that many people DO NOT have the calling, or haven’t approached it responsibily, working in themselves to become better persons for their future spouses.

But it is also a fact that while there may be a number of failed marriages out there that might discourage us from taking the step forward, we shouldn’t be affraid. If your marriage is God’s will (there must be a lot of prayer to discern if a person is right for you), then we can enter to it with peace, knowing there will be struggles but that God will provide us with the tools and resources we need to overcome the obstacles.

I also had those fears, and it was until I understood this that peace replaced the fear.

Marriage is a beautiful path, made to be a source of happiness for both spouses, but it is also a path of selflessness that can shape both to become better versions of themselves and the ones around them.

 

[Elizium23]

Yes, you are correct. Marriage is a vocation, a calling from God. It is true that many people DO NOT have the calling, or haven’t approached it responsibily, working in themselves to become better persons for their future spouses.

Marriage is a beautiful path, made to be a source of happiness for both spouses, but it is also a path of selflessness that can shape both to become better versions of themselves and the ones around them.

It is all this and more. Marriage is an act of selfless love that mirrors the Holy Trinity. Marriage is a very real participation in that love flowing from one Person to another and out to the world. Marriage is the building-block of families, which in turn are the building-block of civilization: the world would be nothing without marriage. Marriage is a reflection of the relationship between Christ, the Bridegroom, and His Church, the Bride. Read the Book of Revelation for the proof of this. Revelation is not merely about the end times - Revelation is about liturgy and marriage. Jesus Himself ordained and blessed the Sacrament of Matrimony by his presence at the Wedding at Cana. He revealed the Truth of its indissolubility in the Gospels. Marriage is a fundamental vocation of mankind. Without the priesthood we would be lost, but without marriage, we would simply cease to exist.

 

[RPRPsych]

If there was a thread about the # 1 cause of divorce among the respondants, I wonder how that graphic would look. Too many options, I guess.

Apart from finances, I’d say a different world-view or philosophy is also an important issue. It’s not just, say, contraception, but the world-view that contraception forms a part of.

Marriage simply cannot be universal. It is not everyone’s vocation, and sadly, this is too often discovered after the fact.

True. But it’s also true that many people embark upon marriage with an idea of “plenty of rights, and very few duties”. They expect much, but can’t be bothered to reciprocate or make an effort when the inevitable roadblocks arise; they tend to give up too soon. Of course, such an idea can be part of one’s temperament, but culture and upbringing also

Hence, my sneakers.

I personally wear rubber slippers (“flip-flops” if you will) in the house; it’s too hot for anything else. Except a nice pair of socks when sleeping during the rains.

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

While marriage is a blessing for many people, not everyone is included in the blessed group.

Admittedly, I am something of a marriage skeptic. I have seen far too many romantic misalliances. My understanding is that life partner selection is frequently defective. We must choose wisely.

Unfortunately, there are marriage seekers who are not suited for the married state. If they enter matrimony, they make both their partners and themselves misserable. I think such people should avoid marriage.

What is your opinion? Should all single people seek marriage? Or are some of us just not suited to be married?

Marriage is inferior to celibacy; to claim marriage is superior to celibacy is heresy.

It is all this and more. Marriage is an act of selfless love that mirrors the Holy Trinity. Marriage is a very real participation in that love flowing from one Person to another and out to the world. Marriage is the building-block of families, which in turn are the building-block of civilization: the world would be nothing without marriage. Marriage is a reflection of the relationship between Christ, the Bridegroom, and His Church, the Bride. Read the Book of Revelation for the proof of this. Revelation is not merely about the end times - Revelation is about liturgy and marriage. Jesus Himself ordained and blessed the Sacrament of Matrimony by his presence at the Wedding at Cana. He revealed the Truth of its indissolubility in the Gospels. Marriage is a fundamental vocation of mankind. Without the priesthood we would be lost, but without marriage, we would simply cease to exist.

Marriage is what God has given people who could not otherwise keep it in their pants.

 

[Della]

Marriage is inferior to celibacy; to claim marriage is superior to celibacy is heresy.

Citation please. Celibacy merely means not married. Chastity in one’s state in life is superior to either marriage or celibacy since it is demanded of all of us.

Marriage is what God has given people who could not otherwise keep it in their pants.

Not quite. Adam was given Eve not merely because he wanted a mate but to propagate the human race who would give glory to God. Simply because St. Paul would have everyone celibate if possible doesn’t mean that marriage is merely the satisfying of an bodily urge. Thinking so is what led to the slippery slope of “gay” marriage.

 

[RPRPsych]

Marriage is inferior to celibacy; to claim marriage is superior to celibacy is heresy.

Actually, that’s a misconception. Marriage is inferior to consecrated celibacy (holy orders, religious life), as has been affirmed by numerous Fathers (most colourfully by Saint Jerome!) “Celibacy” per se is not necessarily superior, otherwise Hindu sadhus are morally superior to Catholic married couples

Marriage is what God has given people who could not otherwise keep it in their pants.

A borderline heretical description of one of the Seven Sacraments.

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

Citation please. Celibacy merely means not married. Chastity in one’s state in life is superior to either marriage or celibacy since it is demanded of all of us.

"Council of Trent Session 24 Can. 10:

Can. 10 If anyone says that the married state excels the state of virginity or celibacy, and that it is better and happier to be united in matrimony than to remain in virginity or celibacy,[15] let him be anathema.

Not quite. Adam was given Eve not merely because he wanted a mate but to propagate the human race who would give glory to God. Simply because St. Paul would have everyone celibate if possible doesn’t mean that marriage is merely the satisfying of an bodily urge. Thinking so is what led to the slippery slope of “gay” marriage.

" Summa 152.4:

Reply to Objection 3. The common good takes precedence of the private good, if it be of the same genus: but it may be that the private good is better generically. It is thus that the virginity that is consecrated to God is preferable to carnal fruitfulness. Hence Augustine says (De Virgin. ix): “It must be confessed that the fruitfulness of the flesh, even of those women who in these times seek naught else from marriage but children in order to make them servants of Christ, cannot compensate for lost virginity.”

newadvent.org/summa/3152.htm

Actually, that’s a misconception. Marriage is inferior to consecrated celibacy (holy orders, religious life), as has been affirmed by numerous Fathers (most colourfully by Saint Jerome!) “Celibacy” per se is not necessarily superior, otherwise Hindu sadhus are morally superior to Catholic married couples

A borderline heretical description of one of the Seven Sacraments.

“Can. 588 §1. By its very nature, the state of consecrated life is neither clerical nor lay.”

See Summa 152

 

[Dulcinea2721]

Marriage is what God has given people who could not otherwise keep it in their pants.

Catechism of the Catholic Church, p.1620: “Whoever denigrates marriage also diminishes the glory of virginity. Whoever praises it [marriage] makes virginity more admirable and resplendent. What appears good only in comparison with evil would not be truly good.”

You speak like a true nun…I have an aunt who is a cloistered nun, she is in perfect agreement with you and your views about lowly marriage.

IMHO anyone (consecrated or not), who is uncharitable, uncaring or otherwise hurtful to another human being is not living in Christ.

 

[RPRPsych]

newadvent.org/summa/3152.htm

“Can. 588 §1. By its very nature, the state of consecrated life is neither clerical nor lay.”

See Summa 152

The Council of Trent’s anathema has to be read in context. It was issued during the Counter-Reformation, and was meant to address Protestants who discouraged consecrated celibacy / virginity and encouraged priests / nuns to abandon their vows of chastity - as Luther did.

Your misrepresentation of Summa 152 and Canon Law are both egregious, and fail to take into account later Magisterial documents on the Sacrament of Matrimony. To go from what St. Thomas said to “marriage is for those who can’t keep it in their pants” is borderline Gnosticism.

You might want to read:

Pius XI, Casti Connubii
Ven. Paul VI., Humanae Vitae
Bl. John Paul II, The Theology of the Body

I agree that the “popularization” of Bl. John Paul II’s doctrine by folks like Greg Popcak (sp?) has gone way too far, but that’s no reason to demean a Sacrament.

Also, study the Catechism:
vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P50.HTM