Sex and newlyweds!

[mariam1976]

Or ask me.

Okay, ladies, men you don’t have to read this.

After, um, you know. Go to the restroom and well, pee. The problem is that bacteria from one of you gets pushed into the urethra during well, um, the process. That bacteria goes up and makes a nice home and you get a bladder infection. If you pee right after, the bacteria gets flushed out.

My Dad was military, retired now. My brother in law was military, retired now. And my husband used to travel a lot. So my whole family knows about this and knows how to prevent it.

i beg to differ… i had been given this advice when i was getting married and did follow it… didnt work and still got a bladder infection…

 

[Margita]

Heck, I forgot about that. I remember being told that now. I do that anyway. Before, after, sometimes it’s …Uhh honey I’ll be right back -my hubby says I have a “hamster” bladder.

This thread is a tad naughty

More and more…

 

[Aquinas4ever]

My wife and I waited until we got married, and I cannot stress how important I believe that was to our marriage. After 8 years and 4 kids, things could never be better.

I agree with an earlier post, two exhausted, stressed out individuals, (hey, a 2 hour sung high traditional mass will do that to you, especially when the both of ya’ are kneeling through the whole thing) but nature took it’s course.

The only thing I might be able to add is that “especially” if he was a virgin, it’s as much of a shock to him as it is to you. It took me several, several years to get past all of the training to never ever think of a woman in that way…to all of a sudden “It’s game time, and you better bring your best”

The Theology of the Body is a tremendous gift, and I would recommend that every married (and soon to be married) couple read it. It sure helped me understand just exactly what the heck the difference was between showing my wife she was very desirable and sexy to me, and “lusting after her body”.

 

[maryjk]

Heck, I forgot about that. :doh2: I remember being told that now. I do that anyway. Before, after, sometimes it’s …Uhh honey I’ll be right back -my hubby says I have a “hamster” bladder.

My husband wondered why I alway went, after. Then I told him. :doh2: That’s why you haven’t had one in a while.

mariam1976:

i beg to differ… i had been given this advice when i was getting married and did follow it… didnt work and still got a bladder infection…

Its not medical advice. Just what works for me and has worked for a number of women.

Try it, if it works for you, great you have a cheap way to avoid an infection. If not, call the doctor for an appointment and maybe he/she can give you an idea.

 

[Sarabande]

The only thing I might be able to add is that “especially” if he was a virgin, it’s as much of a shock to him as it is to you. It took me several, several years to get past all of the training to never ever think of a woman in that way…to all of a sudden “It’s game time, and you better bring your best”

The Theology of the Body is a tremendous gift, and I would recommend that every married (and soon to be married) couple read it. It sure helped me understand just exactly what the heck the difference was between showing my wife she was very desirable and sexy to me, and “lusting after her body”.

I think it’s great that you brought this up. This is a bit how both my husband and I felt. I thought we were the only ones who felt like this. We were dating three years, engaged for two, so for five years we waited. It was a little strange to go from constantly trying to control yourself to suddenly being able to totally let go and give yourself fully to each other. In addition to this, as beautiful as our wedding night was and as excited as I was to start a new chapter in my life as a wife, there was a part of me that was a little sad to leave my maidenhood behind. I no longer had to protect or preserve my virginity. My husband felt the same and even more so for me because he was the one responsible (we joke about this) for taking away my maidenhood. Now we look back on our virgin years with fondness, but we are both much happier to be where we are now together.

The other strange thing to deal with was staying over night when visiting parents after getting married. The day we came home from our honeymoon, my parents picked us up and we stayed overnight in my childhood bedroom. Talk about strange! I’m sure it was awkward for my parents as well, especially my Mom, who was very obsessed about keeping my sister and I virgins.

We’ve been married for 3 and 1/2 years now and thankfully, any feelings of strangeness regarding that have totally disappeared.

 

[rayne89]

My husband wondered why I alway went, after. Then I told him. :doh2: That’s why you haven’t had one in a while.

I’m really glad it helps you. I wish this worked for me, but unfortunately it doesn’t. Thankfully the antibiotic keeps them at bay most of the time. I’ve been married 16 years and I’m sure I’ve had over 30 bladder infections. Not fun.

 

[CCM08]

We waited, the first time was amazing but it didn’t really have much to do with the physical realities of sex. My wife has been an avid soccer player since her family immigrated (she’s an Arabic Christian), I sort of assumed with all that running and streching the hymen would not to be intact. I was wrong and was worried about hurting her at all. We were both pretty tried and probably would have just gone to sleep if we both hadn’t been completely convinced for some reason you just absolutely had to have sex for the first time on the wedding night.
As much as my wife hates any hockey/sex analogy, it’s a lot like playing defense. When you’ve got a new partner it’s difficult because you aren’t accustomed to the other persons “style of play” and the communication isn’t as effective. After you’ve been “playing” together awhile you come to know what your partner will do, and wants you to do, in any situation. Then your “defense” gets a lot better. Of course, some “games” will be better than others. That’s true of anything you do, whether it’s making love or playing hockey.

The issue of whether sex is overrated or not greatly depends on what you mean. Inside a marriage it can be a wonderful thing for two spouses. On a cultural level, people (married or otherwise) are obessed with sex. Any time obession takes place you have something being idealized to standards that nothing in an imperfect world could ever reach. For example, the “Viagra culture” of today. It’s perfectly natural for people that are leaving their child bearing years behind them to lose interest in sex. But an obessed culture is telling them they need to be poping pills and having sex whether they want to or not. In the grand scheme of things there are a lot of things in a marriage more important than sex, but modern culture certainly wouldn’t acknolwege that. So in that sense, sex is overrated.

 

[Al_Masetti]

There are 100 ways to hold hands.

There are many more than 100 ways to kiss.

The average human body (65 inches high and 35 inches in circumference) has a surface area of around 2300 square inches.

So, purely on a tactile basis, that suggests around 23,000,000 possible areas for “development”. [Can’t be too much more explicit, but you get the idea.]

And that’s just the tactile sense.

Add to that the visual, auditory, gustatory and olefactory senses, and that constitutes a HUGE array of exploratory possibilities for a married couple.

It will take a lifetime.

We have been married for 36 years and we are constantly discovering new turn-ons.

What is strange is that you may read about or see something that would seem, on the surface, to be attractive, but in fact is not. On the other hand, some discoveries are surprising.

Sometimes the silliest things are the best.

 

[Em_in_FL]

We waited until the wedding night. First time was awkward, but it got better from there.

One bit of advice for couples in this position… ask your mom, or your doctor, or older sister, or somebody to explain about bladder infections. It can save some misery on the honeymoon!

Not only bladder infections and UTI’s… but watch out for yeast infections…
I’m prone to those, unfortunately … and have learned to prevent them with a bath after each encounter…
(I learned my lesson the hard way on our honeymoon too!)

 

[rayne89]

Not only bladder infections and UTI’s… but watch out for yeast infections…
I’m prone to those, unfortunately … and have learned to prevent them with a bath after each encounter…
(I learned my lesson the hard way on our honeymoon too!)

I wonder why that works for you. A yeast infection is cause by an upset in the ph level. Moisture usually worsens it. I get those alot to. Some antibiotics can cause it. In fact years back the antibiotics they used to treat my UTI would cause me to get a yeast infection. Then I would have both a bladder infection and a yeast infection -oh yay.
If a woman is prone to yeast infections here is a link that has some tips.

familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/women/reproductive/vaginal/206.html

 

[His_Ruby]

Not only bladder infections and UTI’s… but watch out for yeast infections…
I’m prone to those, unfortunately … and have learned to prevent them with a bath after each encounter…
(I learned my lesson the hard way on our honeymoon too!)

Hmm, I guess I will have to be careful here! I have only had 1 yeast infection and MAYBE a UTI when I was a little girl… but I’m sure I could become more prone if I’m not careful now that I’m married.

As far as going pee afterwards, I do this as well just naturally. I hope this isn’t too explicit of a question, but it did occur to me – when urinating afterwards, obviously seminal fluid finds its way out. If a couple is TTC, is it better to sort of… “wait” to urinate and let the SF “find its way in a bit better” ? I’m sure a great deal of it remains inside even after urinating… This seems a little bit silly of a question (and we aren’t TTC yet) but I thought about it several times.

 

[goofyjim]

Geez, if we’re so forbidden to talk about sex elsewhere why must we hear about it even from married couples. Leave it in the bedroom.

 

[His_Ruby]

Geez, if we’re so forbidden to talk about sex elsewhere why must we hear about it even from married couples. Leave it in the bedroom.

 

[goofyjim]

We know it takes place by the fruits-children. We don’t need to discuss it outside of that. I always learned that if you want to avoid arguments there are three things you don’t discuss-sex, politics and religion.

 

[Margita]

We know it takes place by the fruits-children. We don’t need to discuss it outside of that. I always learned that if you want to avoid arguments there are three things you don’t discuss-sex, politics and religion.

Then why are you so busy discussing (and arguing for) masturbation in other threads???

 

[His_Ruby]

We know it takes place by the fruits-children. We don’t need to discuss it outside of that. I always learned that if you want to avoid arguments there are three things you don’t discuss-sex, politics and religion.

If that is what you’re comfortable with, then perhaps you should not have joined this thread and created an argument. It is absolutely essential to talk about sex, and although it is not meant to be separated from its procreative nature, it’s also essential to communicate about its unitive nature between married people. Our society has warped and skewed sex so much that hardly anyone is not affected in some way at some time by the twisted concepts of sex in this world today. Certain behaviors or barriers during intimacy in a couple’s marriage could be a result of a husband’s or even a wife’s porn or masturbation addiction or other issues – how is this not an essential subject to discuss? It affects the entire marriage. There are endless other reasons to talk about it, as well. It’s not as though we were dwelling on sexual experiences in this thread for kicks. It has purpose.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

We know it takes place by the fruits-children. We don’t need to discuss it outside of that. I always learned that if you want to avoid arguments there are three things you don’t discuss-sex, politics and religion.

Jim,

If you do not want to talk about this, then you can simply not click on this thread or any other thread that relates to sex. I am not being rude, I am just saying.

If someone has a ginuine concern about this, true there are many places that they can go to talk about it. I have found that this forum is a GREAT place to ask questions such as this and get some honest Catholic answers to these questions.

It is a blessing to have this site to provide others with the spiritual information that they are searching for on matters that may be weighing on their hearts. Whether that be sexual, temptations, sin, faith, struggles, questions, confession, the list goes on and on.

Please do not come on here and condemn the OP or anyone that has participated in this thread for talking about sex. I have followed this post from beginning to end and have yet to find anything that is offensive or not beneficial. The posts are moderated very heavily by the admins and if there was anything, anything, that they felt was questionable or against the rules of the forums, this thread would be closed.

Again, if you do not want to participate, do not click on the thread or post in it.

 

[pumpkinbeast]

Hmm, I guess I will have to be careful here! I have only had 1 yeast infection and MAYBE a UTI when I was a little girl… but I’m sure I could become more prone if I’m not careful now that I’m married.

As far as going pee afterwards, I do this as well just naturally. I hope this isn’t too explicit of a question, but it did occur to me – when urinating afterwards, obviously seminal fluid finds its way out. If a couple is TTC, is it better to sort of… “wait” to urinate and let the SF “find its way in a bit better” ? I’m sure a great deal of it remains inside even after urinating… This seems a little bit silly of a question (and we aren’t TTC yet) but I thought about it several times.

I am not married, and I’m sure there are those with more knowledge in this area that will be able to explain this better, but I will share what I do know: SF is a medium for sperm to swim and survive in. If you are fertile, your body produces cervical mucus, which I have heard is very similar to SF when you’re close to ovulation. I think as long the SF has made contact with your cervix and thus your CM, the sperm will be able to get where they want to go. I believe, from my limited knowledge, this happens during intercourse quite naturally. So, I wouldn’t worry about it. You aren’t trying to avoid conception by trying to get the SF out of you; indeed, that would be a highly ineffective method if you were. You’re totally being open to life by making love in the first place. No worries.

 

[twk001]

Okay, back on track for our newlywed with questions…DH and I waited until we were married. It was very hard. He was raised protestant and had been with somebody years before. He didn’t pressure me or anything, and was very supportive of the decision for US together. We found the same thing. sometimes good, sometimes not so good. you have your WHOLE lives together. don’t focus so much on those first few months. we’ve been married now almost 10 years and we find that there’s much more intimacy between us now, even generally in our marriage. that friendship and closeness that we have now has just improved things all that much more. pray for patience and give it time. twk

 

[His_Ruby]

I am not married, and I’m sure there are those with more knowledge in this area that will be able to explain this better, but I will share what I do know: SF is a medium for sperm to swim and survive in. If you are fertile, your body produces cervical mucus, which I have heard is very similar to SF when you’re close to ovulation. I think as long the SF has made contact with your cervix and thus your CM, the sperm will be able to get where they want to go. I believe, from my limited knowledge, this happens during intercourse quite naturally. So, I wouldn’t worry about it. You aren’t trying to avoid conception by trying to get the SF out of you; indeed, that would be a highly ineffective method if you were. You’re totally being open to life by making love in the first place. No worries.

Right – this makes sense. I know all about the purposes of SF and CM, just wasn’t sure whether the sperm actually left my body with the SF when I urinate or if they kind of go ahead somehow on their own… Kind of a technicality, but either way I’m sure plenty of SF stays in and doesn’t exit my body when I urinate. More of a curiosity than anything.